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Thread: MY FAULT,OR THEIRS?

  1. #1
    Sparkling_Tears
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    Default MY FAULT,OR THEIRS?

    Hi,well first off Im 15,and in Nov. I'll be 16, my parents still treat my like a child.
    My mom and I used to get along really well,but latley she's gotten reaally moody,but she says it's not her,but me! I admit that at times I'm emotional,but she is very mean at times. And my dad(he's actually my step dad,my real dad is...gone?uncaring?a jerk? out of the picture) So my dad is a grouchy person,and latley it's gotten worse, he yells at me all the time,my brothers also.
    I admit that I have problems,but my parents do to. Like today,I have really bad allergies, my dad said to clean my room and that it would get rid of dust,etc. I said later,I had a repot to do,he walks of mumbling,and goes on for 5 minutes. My mom gets mad at hm and starts yelling,then he yells at her,and they get into it. Then he said that he was going to vacume my room for me,I said thanks and that that was sweet,well he goes in there and just rants and raves about how my room is a mess. I get that I may not be the neatest person,but I do all my chores. So he's cleanign and my mom goes in there to ''help'' him. She goes through everything,refolds my clothes and throws away things of mine I want.
    Then my dad moves my bed! I liked it as it was,I tell him this and he says I like my bed against the wall to hide things. What things? Then my mom freaks out at screams at him,cusses a lot,and tells me she's sick of me and that she can't wait until I move out.
    Am I wrong to want to cry over this?
    I have some problems(I was into witchcraft, I used to cut,I was suicidal,and I probably should have seen a counselor,but I didn't) I think my mom blames me,for her problems,and I don't know what to do anymore. I have no privacy,no support,and I am starting to think no love.

    I was feeling better,but with all that's going on I've been really wanting to cut and stuff. I have gone back to Jesus,but now I can't help but think that maybe Jesus is punishing me for what I used to believe.

    PLEASE HELP ME!!!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: MY FAULT,OR THEIRS?

    Hi
    I feel sorry for all this turmoil but perhaps they are doing the best that they know how and it may not be perfect. So just show them how grown uop you are by thanking them and it may turn things around. Who know what individual stress thay may feel but do not know themselves how to deal with their own issues
    God bless you in your endeavours to get on better wiith your pareents

  3. #3
    arollins12
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    Default Re: MY FAULT,OR THEIRS?

    awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww im sooooooo sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have a very hard life too....i also used to cut myself. i know wat u are going thru. it is not ur fault. but its not ur parents either. It's the devils. its sins....u r going thru so much. i will pray non stop 4 u. i know this sounds cheezy but u need 2 hear it. GOD LUVS U!!!!!!!!!!!no matter what happens he will b thr 4 u. always. just pray 2 him. wat i noticed wen i was going thru sum horrible times is tht i wasnt reading my bible and i wasnt praying as much. start praying start reading!!!i suggest going thru Job if u read Job u will realize tht he went thru sum bad stuff too. Paul was an amazing example for me. He was prosecuted, put in jail, tortured but yet he just kept praising God he didnt complain like David in Psalms he just praised God. I remeber one of his prayers started out Thank You God (this is wen he was in jail too)!! I am so sorry! I luv u 2 u r my sister in Christ! Jesus is not punishing u. If u have repented and said sorry he has thrown ur sin as far as the east is to the west(ps the east NEVER reaches the west) he is not punishing u. satan is testing your faith in the Lord. Please listen to this song. Its by Superchick, STAND IN THE RAIN. if u need help God is there. I PROMISE he is not punishing u. its satan stand by him and i am always here to talk 2 and complain to. I luv u!!!!!!!

  4. #4
    yogieburr
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    Default Re: MY FAULT,OR THEIRS?

    i hate to say this but i believe that is slightly stupid..god is there to guide us but he gave us the intelligence and will to make our own decisions..and yes, it is true that if you deliberately do bad things and sin willfully than you are asking for trouble and inviting negative forces into your life..its not the devil its not god punishing you..its just your parents making bad decisions you cant help what other people do but you can like i said before pray for guidance and chances are itll come in one way or the other it will..satan isnt possessing your parents theyre just being selfish..and the past is the past you cant change that..i went through the same thing by the way(minus the cutting) and all i can say is im not all that sorry..i wont do it again but still..all you can do is try your best, try not to repeat your mistakes, make the best of every situation, and trust in god.
    hoped that helped
    <3 laura

  5. #5
    BrokenAndBeautiful
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    Default Re: MY FAULT,OR THEIRS?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkling_Tears View Post
    Hi,well first off Im 15,and in Nov. I'll be 16, my parents still treat my like a child.
    My mom and I used to get along really well,but latley she's gotten reaally moody,but she says it's not her,but me! I admit that at times I'm emotional,but she is very mean at times. And my dad(he's actually my step dad,my real dad is...gone?uncaring?a jerk? out of the picture) So my dad is a grouchy person,and latley it's gotten worse, he yells at me all the time,my brothers also.
    I admit that I have problems,but my parents do to. Like today,I have really bad allergies, my dad said to clean my room and that it would get rid of dust,etc. I said later,I had a repot to do,he walks of mumbling,and goes on for 5 minutes. My mom gets mad at hm and starts yelling,then he yells at her,and they get into it. Then he said that he was going to vacume my room for me,I said thanks and that that was sweet,well he goes in there and just rants and raves about how my room is a mess. I get that I may not be the neatest person,but I do all my chores. So he's cleanign and my mom goes in there to ''help'' him. She goes through everything,refolds my clothes and throws away things of mine I want.
    Then my dad moves my bed! I liked it as it was,I tell him this and he says I like my bed against the wall to hide things. What things? Then my mom freaks out at screams at him,cusses a lot,and tells me she's sick of me and that she can't wait until I move out.
    Am I wrong to want to cry over this?
    I have some problems(I was into witchcraft, I used to cut,I was suicidal,and I probably should have seen a counselor,but I didn't) I think my mom blames me,for her problems,and I don't know what to do anymore. I have no privacy,no support,and I am starting to think no love.

    I was feeling better,but with all that's going on I've been really wanting to cut and stuff. I have gone back to Jesus,but now I can't help but think that maybe Jesus is punishing me for what I used to believe.

    PLEASE HELP ME!!!
    ok, I'm not a teen anymore, but I thought it might help you to get advice from someone who's lived a little longer than you have... First of all, don't ever think that God is punishing you for your past sins! Once you accepted Him into your heart and asked for His forgiveness, that sin was forgiven! It's gone! Jesus is NOT punnishing you, sweety. Second of all, it's not your fault, or theirs! Parents rarely, if ever have it all together! They can be just as confused and hurt by things as you are. People, unlike Jesus, have a hard time with forgiveness and letting go, If youv'e had these problems in the past, they will (sorry to say it) probably ALWAYS have trust issues with you. And that doesn't mean that they don't love you. In fact their worry is BECAUSE they love you! But from what youv'e said, they do go about it in the wrong way. They do need to be more considerate of your feelings, and each others. Fighting and putting each other down wont solve anything.
    Maybe you should wait for a time when everyone is calm, in a good mood, and try telling them how you feel. Let them know how badly their behavior is hurting you. And if they are still irrational, just walk away, give them time to cool off and try talking to them again later. They need to understand how damaging it is to you to hear them say "I can't wait untill you move out.", and so on.. Just because theyr'e the adults, doesn't give them the right to be hurtfull because they get aggravated. But please, don't lose faith! God is right there with you, through all the heartache and pain! I'll be praying for you, and your family. god bless!

  6. #6
    BellaFlor
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    Default Re: MY FAULT,OR THEIRS?

    Sparkling Tears...

    Like BrokenAndBeautiful says, God is not punishing you. Once you are His, He wants to most bless you and keep you on growing in Him. I know how Hard it is having parents like that, and perhaps, because of what they had to go through in their lives, brought you into witchcraft, cutting yourself and for you being suicidal?

    I am not saying that your parents are evil people and that one should blame them for everything, I am just stating that also in the bible it is written about curses going on and on from generation to generation, untill someone decides to break it, or at least to break free from it. They shouldn't keep on being angry for what you just had to go through, and now with you just getting out from witchcraft, not cutting yourself and not being suicidal anymore, they should be supporting you and showing you all the love you need.

    Perhaps they never showed you love the way you needed it? Still, you have Jesus, He can shower you with all the love you didn't had or ever get. I know how much heartache it is when parents hurt you verbally, giving you the guilt. But know that this is just wrong, and a lie. Being a teen it is so important getting the right support and love from parents, because teens are so much more emotional, and in so much need of being seen, protected, supported and loved the right way. And when parents don't reach with it, it hurts, deeply much, and it becomes an aching wound. But although you might feel very alone, know that Jesus is there with you all the time. And He Truly Cares for You!

    It is Good you see this being still very young, and if you go to church, maybe you could start going to a counsellor? That will help you getting through this Much Stronger. Sometimes, talking to someone, lightens up more that heavy burden you have over you.

    Know that Jesus is there with you always, and He watches over you, and also over your situation. You will become Stronger, that is something He also has in mind for you too, building you up and forming your character through hard times. You might go through deep suffering at times, and you might have your very weak moments, also when Jesus seemes to being so far away, etc.... But keep yourself still Standing Strong through this all, and then you will become Much Stronger than every lie that has come through to you, and it will fall down off of you, like dust to the ground. Jesus Is With You!

  7. #7
    Senior Member Taelin's Avatar
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    Default Re: MY FAULT,OR THEIRS?

    Sperkling Tears... For some reason I just felt like I needed to say something... I know about dysfunctinal families, I know about witchcraft, depression and cutting, and my heart is breaking for you.. It's a hard cycle with lots of hurt emotions and pain. And if you ever need to talk, I'll listen. Parents aren't perfect, and by the sound of it, your parents dont really have a relationship with God. Pray and keep your chin up, cry your heart out to God and He will comfort you.

    But I need to stress the fact, for especially what you've been thru, find someone to talk to, someone to pray with. Past issues has to be given up, and esp if you've been in witchcraft there's some links you'll need to break. Please please go talk to someone, and just get it out of your system. I know how this type of lifestyle influences you when you get older, and the sooner you get healing, the better. Stick with God -He's more awesome that you could ever imagine!

    Hope things are going okay there! I'll keep you in my prayers!
    Galatians 5 : 22-23
    o0o0o "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." o0o0o
    <3

  8. #8
    Sparkling_Tears
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    Default Re: MY FAULT,OR THEIRS?

    Thank You all for your replies. I do understand what you all are saying. And I'm sure that I have caused them some,if not lots,of
    heartaches. I usually talk to my mom when I have problems,but now I can't,so I don't have anyone to talk to really. I'm homeschooled,and generally shy when it comes to meeting people. It just makes me feel better to know that there are people out there that know how I feel,and understand,and don't judge me. I thank you all for your prayers,and I want to ask if you could pray for me next Monday,my mom thinks I have an eating disorder(I don't I just don't like to eat when I'm upset,mad,sad,etc.)so she's taking me to the doctors. Please pray that all goes well,and...I don't really know what I want you to pray,I'm pretty confused right now.

    But thank you all,and God Bless.
    P.S.Deep down I know that Jesus isn't punishing me,I just wish I knew why all the problems I have,why I have them. Does that make sence?

  9. #9
    Jezreel
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    Default Re: MY FAULT,OR THEIRS?

    I am an older person who is very sympathetic to how ungodly your parents are behaving and I know you are probably trying to "obey your parents in the Lord". What is really coicidental, in the natural you are becomming a young woman who will eventually be out on her own. You mother may be starting to go through menopause and that is natures way of "pushing you out"! If she were a believer, she would realize that we women cannot use menopause as an occassion to be really b----ches" They are not being sensitive to your feelings either or respecting your feelings and that is because they don't know the Lord. There are some parents who are unbelievers who do a better job than believers unfortunately. If yours is a situation where you all go to church on Sundays and there is yelling in the car all the way to and from church but when you are there, your parents put on a smiley face like nothing is wrong, then I really feel for you!! Luckily, the Lord did a work on me that when my kids were in their teenage years, I was able to be more sensitive to them. I was an anorexic teenager who was traumatized by abusive angry parents who liked to attend the Presbyterian church on Sundays! It is easy to go to churches that don't preach the truth because you can live like you like to live and deceive nobody but ourselves. I remember when I was 15 like it was yesterday. Just hang in there and keep company with other kids who are real believers and find a place of true fellowship with them. God can really handle your parents, believe me! If you do your best and leave it in the hands of God, he is so faithful and he will become a loving father to you. It took me many years to be able to envision my God as a loving Father that cared because of the way my father was. He had lots of chances to repent also but choose to keep his heart hard and he died all alone by himself.