How to incorporate God into my relationship?...

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Vidy

Guest
#1
#1
My girlfriend and I were talking last night and she asked me what the focus of our relationship was, and what it probably should be. I said that right now the focus is mainly on each other, but I agreed with her that God should be a/the main focus in our relationship.

The question is, I can't really figure out how to do that. We are both Christians and love God, and we do our best to obey his word. Beyond that, what is there I can do to incorporate God into relationship? I'm not into the whole "praying with each other" since praying should be personal between you and God (except in certain circumstances), and reading the Bible (heck, anything) together really is kind of boring... Is something wrong with my attitude regarding these two things?

I'm willing to give more info if needed, but atm that seems like everything that's relevant =) I just need some opinions from some godly people (instead of Yahoo! Answers lol). I'd talk to my dad (he's a preacher), but I don't like or trust my dad, so you guys are all I got =P
 
J

Jordan9

Guest
#2
#2
Perhaps you guys could organize a Bible study? Choose a book of the Bible, invite your friends, read some chapters, and talk about it?

Or maybe you guys could serve the poor together? Is there a homeless shelter nearby?
 
biggentleben

biggentleben

Banned
#3
Oct 7, 2009
171
0
0
44
#3
I wouldn't say that your attitude is right nor wrong, but to make your relationship about God and focused on Him, a big part of that is helping each other forward in your individual walks with God and also in your joint pursuit of Him. Yes, there are prayers that you can still have that are personal and a conversation between Your Father and you, but why not pray together often for the growth, health, and stability of your relationship. Bible study as a couple may not be your thing, but why not find a small group at church for couples Bible study, and if there isn't one, help start one! Lastly, I would seek an adult couple that you believe to have a strong Godly relationship and ask them to mentor you and your girlfriend in your relationship as you would esteem to follow Him. You will learn so much about what to expect and how to handle what does come up in a relationship from adults that take the time to lovingly guide you further with each other and with Him.

And don't shy away from reading the Bible together. You may be amazed how intriguing a conversation can be and what it can open up about the person that you are with when you both read through the same passage and then discuss what you read in that passage. It may sound "boring", but I believe that you'll find so much of each of you is opened to the other that it is not boring whatsoever.

Any other questions, feel free to reply on here, or if it's more personal, feel free to PM!
 
S

shad

Guest
#4
#4
Vidy said:
My girlfriend and I were talking last night and she asked me what the focus of our relationship was, and what it probably should be. I said that right now the focus is mainly on each other, but I agreed with her that God should be a/the main focus in our relationship.

The question is, I can't really figure out how to do that. We are both Christians and love God, and we do our best to obey his word. Beyond that, what is there I can do to incorporate God into relationship? I'm not into the whole "praying with each other" since praying should be personal between you and God (except in certain circumstances), and reading the Bible (heck, anything) together really is kind of boring... Is something wrong with my attitude regarding these two things?

I'm willing to give more info if needed, but atm that seems like everything that's relevant =) I just need some opinions from some godly people (instead of Yahoo! Answers lol). I'd talk to my dad (he's a preacher), but I don't like or trust my dad, so you guys are all I got =P
Click to expand...
You may not like this but there is something you need to do that is very important. You need to lay this relationship on the altar and go get reconciled to your father ASAP. Read Eph 6:1-3 at least 10 times and don't reject the instructions that it gives. After you are reconciled then come back to the altar and make your offering. Reconciliation always comes first and should never be neglected.
 
V

Vidy

Guest
#5
#5
To the first response-

I would love to, if it wasn't a distanced relationship. When we DO get to see each other, it's normally not the first impulse to go to a group Bible study, since the time is limited. If I was already going to one prior to her/me visiting, I'm sure we would go together, but for now that option as a standard thing is out of the question.

To the second response- Ok... Studying the Bible together really doesn't sound too bad. We're both intelligent people, so discussions would be fun. However, (this might not make sense at first), English isn't my best subject. I can't read the Bible and find some deep meaning or analogy- I take it for face-value and don't enjoy finding everything that may (or may not be) "hidden" in the Bible.

To the last one- I DO obey my parents (mostly). I just won't actively seek my dad's council. It's not really because I don't think what he has to say is good, but rather because I don't like the way he handles people (including me). He's more dominant in his personality, and it really intimidates me more than it is comforting to me... And I don't trust him with personal issues because in the past, he's just poked fun at me when it comes to girls, so i just don't talk about them around him. (No, not hurtful poking. It's just stuff like "Awwwww, isn't that sweeeet" and I hate that kind of stuff XD).


As for stuff being too personal, nothing is too personal for the internet =P I could tell my entire life story, there's nothing too inappropriate that's happened in my life. As long as it doesn't give people a way to find me in real life, I'm willing to say it lol. To the 2nd poster (I'd respond with a PM if I wasn't lazy), it's OK. More advice from more people is always a plus, you aren't hurting me in any way =)
 
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Maddog

Guest
#6
#6
I don't think you should worry about trying to force some kind of Bible reading or prayer time with each other because it will just feel forced and awkward. But I think that if you are both seeking God's will, then such things may come more naturally with time, especially if and when you are married. For now, how about just casual discussions about faith and theology? That way your faith will feel a more natural part of your relationship with her.
 
biggentleben

biggentleben

Banned
#7
Oct 7, 2009
171
0
0
44
#7
Maddog said:
I don't think you should worry about trying to force some kind of Bible reading or prayer time with each other because it will just feel forced and awkward. But I think that if you are both seeking God's will, then such things may come more naturally with time, especially if and when you are married. For now, how about just casual discussions about faith and theology? That way your faith will feel a more natural part of your relationship with her.
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Intentionally setting aside time for such discussions would be "forced" time, and that should absolutely be done. I think most responses on here have said that content should flow from what you both get out of it, not a predetermined content.
 
H

holly454

Guest
#8
#8
' You may not like this but there is something you need to do that is very important. You need to lay this relationship on the altar and go get reconciled to your father ASAP. Read Eph 6:1-3 at least 10 times and don't reject the instructions that it gives. After you are reconciled then come back to the altar and make your offering. Reconciliation always comes first and should never be neglected. '

wtf? where u gno get a altar from?!
as for offering u supposed to sacrifice a sheep or sommin?! :O
dno, bout u but i dont live in or near a farm, therefore, i couldnt sacrifice any animal or anythin, except my pet dog, lol.
 
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sweetheart728

Guest
#9
#9
maby you can try this...
when you spend your personal time with God.... talk to her about what God is showing you and then let her do the same... that way you guys can know what God is saying to each other.... thats a good way to start...

ex:
bae (or what ever you call her) today when i was reading (and or) praying God said________...
what do you think that means....
idk something like that...
 
cookie39

cookie39

Senior Member
#10
Oct 5, 2009
616
12
18
#10
If a man find a Wife (not girlfriend) he find a good thing and abtaineth favor of the Lord. and a three-fold cord is not easily broken, Whan you and her are married, let God be the councilorby his Word. when a marrige is built on the Word of God , it will not be broken, for what God put together let no man put asunder.

you need to find all the scripture in the bible on being a "Godly husband" and she a "Godly wife" and then together in prayer ask God in the name of Jesus Christ; to make you/she that for eachother, this is the forst step in building a marriage rooted in the Lord.
I love reading and praying with my husband and I would not have it no other way, for if we love each other the way God say we should; we can't go wrong. let everything you do together be to the glory of God and it will not be boring. let God teach you and her how to treat one another, how to love and respect each other. let God, let God, let God. in doing this you will recieve the favor of God as a man who found a wife. you cleave to her, you let go ALL PRIDE, and so shall she there is nothing good about, and as we see that in the Bible God hates it and destruction come to those who posess it. it's not about being "the man " in a marriage but a Godly man. submit yourself to God, that when she is submitted to you she will also be submitted to God through you as well as in her own personal relationship with the Lord. it is awesome.

hope this help, read together, and praying together. will put joy in your hearts as well as Gods' and the Church, as marriage is simular to the church of God, Ephesian 5.
 
K

kiwi_OT

Guest
#11
#11
I might just add my two cents in here...
Your in a long distance relationship I take it? I spent 3 1/2 years in a long distance relationship and as much as you want to do special things when you see each other the worst thing you can do is neglect your day to day church and spiritual growth activities just because one of you is in town.. the whole point of dating even in long distance is seeing that person being their normal self - so regardless if shes visiting keep doing your normal stuff anyway, and dont feel gulty if she sees you in one of your grumpy less than easygoing moods. If you put on the whole facade of being a lovely sensitive male 24/7 (no male is that perfect) who will put anything on hold for his girl then you will become very tired very quickly and will find yourself living a double life and becoming slowly spiritually frustrated.
SO
Dont use that crummy excuse that your bad at english. Yes everyone has different learning styles but we all get good at stuff not cos we have a natural talent for it but cos we work extremely hard at being so because we think of it as very important in our lives. At the end of the day how important do you view learning Gods Word? To help you along find some study guides or just simple and easy to read and fun devotionals that are appropriate for your age group that have questions and stuff you can read (with girlfriend even! lol). Also, and get into the practice of this - when you start having a good crack at reading your bible and other stuff say a nice quick prayer asking God to just reveal something to you from whatever you read that will make you understand his purpose for you or anything really.
Like Sweetheart was saying just add what your reading in the bible into your conversation when your talking to her online or over the phone. Its important to keep reinforcing the point that your relationship needs to be a love triangle between you, your girlfriend and God regardless of initial weird feelings or awkwardness ok?
It will feel forced at first but after a while and with consistency it should become natural and fun to you both.
Lastly, you oppose initially praying with her. Fair enough it can take some getting used to. That fear does go after a while with practice. Every now and then if you do group prayer with a youth group or something just add your 2 cents worth every now and then until you become a bit more confident, when thats done and you take your girlf to your youthgroup she will see that you are growing in the Lord and will be inspired and impressed with you (and seriously what guy wouldnt want that?)
 
J

jijo4u

Guest
#12
#12
just keep praying. Jesus will show you the way.
 
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