Need encouragement and guidance, having occasional "homosexual" thoughts

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J

joshb12

Guest
#1
#1
Hello everyone,

I made my account because I needed some help and guidance. When I say that I have been having "homosexual thoughts", I do not mean that I am sitting around dreaming about sexual desires with another guy, I just mean that I lately have found myself, when looking at a celebrity, thinking that they are attractive. I even feel like there may even be a twitch of having a possible stimulation, but it never happens. I feel like I may be worrying myself to death over this, because I do that a lot, but I don't want this to be me.

I am still extremely attracted to girls, and today when me and a female friend went for dinner, I definitely noticed our waitress and wanted to tell her that she was a beautiful lady (I of course didn't, because I'm a shy person).

I don't have desires of getting with another guy, nor do I want to have any physical relations in any sort with a guy, I've just been having these things going on that I said in paragraph 1. It may have even been a result of when I wanted to work out to physically be healthier and also have more self confidence, I looked to other fellow lifters for inspiration and motivation for how I wanted to be. I feel like it could also be caused from me not actually dating a girl in 2 years since my ex, and maybe I just feel like I'm alone. I'm not for sure on that, nor am I sure that I do feel alone, but I do definitely miss having a companion in my life to love and care for and to have the same in return.

Like I said, I don't want these thoughts to continue, and they worry me. I'm just looking for guidance, and prayer.
 
mystdancer50

mystdancer50

Senior Member
#2
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
48
#2
Re: Need encouragement and guidance, having occasional "homosexual" thoughts

I think that our fears of succumbing to homosexuality makes us paranoid. To me, it sounds like you're just looking at a man and noting the fact that he is attractive. Let me tell you, women do this too with women. They look at women and think, "Wow. She is really beautiful." The danger comes from focusing on this constantly, moving yourself forward to lusting and obsessing and seeking out checking out these people. I truly believe that a fleeting acknowledgment of the attractiveness of someone of the same sex is natural, but overtly focusing on it and allowing it to lead to homosexual thoughts, and ultimately actions, is where the true sin and danger lies.

King David didn't sin when he looked out over the kingdom and saw Bathsheba bathing. His sin was his second glance, and his third, and his ultimate actions of summoning her to him and sleeping with her and, ultimately, ordering the death of Uriah.

I don't know if I'm making sense. Based on what you've shared, I don't feel that you're truly having homosexual thoughts. I can look at a woman and admire her beauty without it being sexual and I think that men can do the same with men.
 
J

joshb12

Guest
#3
#3
Re: Need encouragement and guidance, having occasional "homosexual" thoughts

I think the biggest thing for me started with being envious. I've never felt that I was that attractive, and I've always wanted to be. So whenever I've saw another male, be it a celebrity or just another male whom many females are attracted to, I've looked to see what I might could do to improve myself. And maybe that has also morphed this into what I feared was me having too much of homosexual thoughts. Just me wishing or wanting to try and perfect myself in some manner whether it be physically or the way I dress/present myself/look.

Like I stated, I have no desires of me becoming homosexual, I just don't like the thoughts because they make me worry that I'm going to be homosexual.
I also have had the same fears about becoming like my father. My mother and father are divorced, they have been since I was 2, and my father hasn't done a great job of being a father. He is honestly everything that I don't want to be, and for a long time my fear has been that as I mature into my 20's and further on that I will be just like him without knowing it and without being able to control it.

I honestly have hard time talking about these things to anyone else, this is why I'm here asking for guidance and prayer because I felt less judged here.
 
mystdancer50

mystdancer50

Senior Member
#4
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
48
#4
Re: Need encouragement and guidance, having occasional "homosexual" thoughts

I have never really felt attractive, either, and though I'm a woman and our thought processes differ, I, too, have looked at beautiful women and wanted to look like them, for whatever reason, but I have never wondered if I was a lesbian because of these thoughts. I guess women just know that these kinds of things happen, but men don't have that luxury.

I honestly have to say that the thoughts you are having are natural and, so long as they aren't sexual and they aren't consuming you, you're fine. If you find yourself consumed by a specific actor and constantly thinking about him, then you may want to consider avoiding photos and movies of said actor, but if it's a passing thought in the midst of a movie or something, that is normal.

We must learn from the Shulamite in Song of Songs (Solomon). She says that she is dark, but lovely. We must learn to acknowledge those things that we or others may consider 'flaws' and realize that in spite of their existence, we are still attractive in our own way. I truly believe that God created each of us attractive and handsome/beautiful...we just have to learn to see with His eyes.

My parents divorced when I was young. My mom remarried and my dad had many girlfriends. I wondered if I could every be married to one man my whole life. But, you know, I believe that if God is given His place as the center and head of any marriage, it will last, regardless of what our parents did before. Once Jesus is no longer the center, I believe that is when issues and our fleshly foolishness arises. Let go and let God have control. When the time is right, and marriage is yours, it will all be for His glory. :)
 
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Notqoethyourtime

Banned
#5
Dec 14, 2013
15
0
0
#5
Re: Need encouragement and guidance, having occasional "homosexual" thoughts

Okay, so A. If you are gay, it's okay. Many people are actualy okay with homosexuality. So don't worry.
B. Dude, everyone feels like that. I mean, I might be a little bit biased, but everyone looks at a celebrity of the same gender and goes, "that person is very attractive". There's this one guy at my friend's dance class who i have decided that if both of us were straight, i would want to be his girlfriend (but i wouldn't, because he is like 30 and about to propose to his boyfriend, Max). So those feelings aren't a bad thing.
C. If you ARE gay, you will know it soon enough. Just know that peo
 
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Jesusismyrock

Guest
#6
#6
Re: Need encouragement and guidance, having occasional "homosexual" thoughts

Having occasional homosexual thoughts doesn't mean you are homosexual and studies show almost everyone experiences Atleast 1 homosexual thought in their life whether in a dream or while awake. Nothing to worry about.
 
A

Animus

Guest
#7
#7
Re: Need encouragement and guidance, having occasional "homosexual" thoughts

Yeah just don't worry about it. And even if you do worry about it, it won't make you more homosexual or anything, so don't worry about worrying about it. It sounds like you're being too hard on yourself.
 
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mkcexpo

Guest
#8
#8
Re: Need encouragement and guidance, having occasional "homosexual" thoughts

I think it is fine to think a guy looks good even if you aren't gay. Women do it all the time with each other, and the only reason men dont do it because they are afraid of being seen as gay. You should just think what you want to think, and its not gay unless you are thinking of doing the guy.
 
mystdancer50

mystdancer50

Senior Member
#9
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
48
#9
Re: Need encouragement and guidance, having occasional "homosexual" thoughts

Notqoethyourtime said:
Okay, so A. If you are gay, it's okay. Many people are actualy okay with homosexuality. So don't worry.
B. Dude, everyone feels like that. I mean, I might be a little bit biased, but everyone looks at a celebrity of the same gender and goes, "that person is very attractive". There's this one guy at my friend's dance class who i have decided that if both of us were straight, i would want to be his girlfriend (but i wouldn't, because he is like 30 and about to propose to his boyfriend, Max). So those feelings aren't a bad thing.
C. If you ARE gay, you will know it soon enough. Just know that peo
Click to expand...
People are okay with homosexuals, this is true, but God is NOT okay with it. Which one matters more, do you think?
 
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msells16

Guest
#10
#10
Re: Need encouragement and guidance, having occasional "homosexual" thoughts

To all who say God is not okay with homosexuality: Did God appear to you specifically to tell you that it was not okay??? I think not. Yes, it is mentioned in the Bible that homosexuality is not right in the eyes of the Lord, but Jesus tells us that one of the two Greatest Commandments is to "love your neighbor as yourself!!!!" Jesus did NOT exclude gays and lesbians from this commandment!! If one is a good person who makes good decisions and strives to live with a pure heart, are we truly entitled to tell him that it is not okay to love whom he loves?! And we, as followers of Christ, are we not required to love EVERYONE?! We are! Because Jesus told us so. And in the Declaration of Independence, does it not state, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that ALL men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of HAPPINESS!! Everyone deserves to be loved. Regardless of whom it is that loves them. And at the end of the day we (ALL of us!) are all LOVED by one constant--GOD!

Thanks for reading. xoxo Morgan
 
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Alfa

Guest
#11
#11
Re: Need encouragement and guidance, having occasional "homosexual" thoughts

msells16 said:
To all who say God is not okay with homosexuality: Did God appear to you specifically to tell you that it was not okay??? I think not. Yes, it is mentioned in the Bible that homosexuality is not right in the eyes of the Lord, but Jesus tells us that one of the two Greatest Commandments is to "love your neighbor as yourself!!!!" Jesus did NOT exclude gays and lesbians from this commandment!! If one is a good person who makes good decisions and strives to live with a pure heart, are we truly entitled to tell him that it is not okay to love whom he loves?! And we, as followers of Christ, are we not required to love EVERYONE?! We are! Because Jesus told us so. And in the Declaration of Independence, does it not state, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that ALL men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of HAPPINESS!! Everyone deserves to be loved. Regardless of whom it is that loves them. And at the end of the day we (ALL of us!) are all LOVED by one constant--GOD!

Thanks for reading. xoxo Morgan
Click to expand...
The Bible, both before and after Jesus, clearly states that just like an adulterer, their, murder, witch, or a fornicators, a homosexual will not go to heaven. They must repent and be cleansed if they wish to go to heaven, otherwise it's useless.
 
S

ServantStrike

Guest
#12
#12
Re: Need encouragement and guidance, having occasional "homosexual" thoughts

msells16 said:
To all who say God is not okay with homosexuality: Did God appear to you specifically to tell you that it was not okay??? I think not. Yes, it is mentioned in the Bible that homosexuality is not right in the eyes of the Lord, but Jesus tells us that one of the two Greatest Commandments is to "love your neighbor as yourself!!!!" Jesus did NOT exclude gays and lesbians from this commandment!! If one is a good person who makes good decisions and strives to live with a pure heart, are we truly entitled to tell him that it is not okay to love whom he loves?! And we, as followers of Christ, are we not required to love EVERYONE?! We are! Because Jesus told us so. And in the Declaration of Independence, does it not state, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that ALL men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of HAPPINESS!! Everyone deserves to be loved. Regardless of whom it is that loves them. And at the end of the day we (ALL of us!) are all LOVED by one constant--GOD!

Thanks for reading. xoxo Morgan
Click to expand...

Part of loving your neighbor like you love your self is when they profess Christ, you tell them if they are engaging in sinful behavior. You don't re-interpret God's word into a feel good message because that's the flavor of the week version of Christianity.

I love every one, and yes, I love gay people. I'm not standing on a street corner telling them they are going to hell - the saving grace of Christ applies to them just as much as it does any one else. But I will not water down 2000 year old words to make any man happy.

The biblical standard isn't exactly easy for heterosexuals either. Jesus told us we're not even allowed to look at someone with lust. That's no easy feat.

And the declaration of independence was a man made document, signed by some very well known deists and humanists. That doesn't prove much of a case. It just means that all men have rights in the United States. You need to separate the concept of being an American from the concept of being a Christian.
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#13
#13
Re: Need encouragement and guidance, having occasional "homosexual" thoughts

yaknowmay said:
....YOU MIGHT NOT BE GAY.....YOU MIGHT BE A BI-SEXUAL....OR YOU COULD ACTUALLY BE A HOMOSEXUAL...EITHER WAY ITS OK...ITS NONE OF OUR BUSINESS WHAT YOU DO IN YOUR BEDROOM, OR CAR, OR IN THE PARK AFTER PARK HOURS.....THAT DOESNT DEFINE WHO YOU ARE....SO IN CLOSING...DO YOU....JUST DO IT SAFELY....YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY DR. YUMMY :eek:
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Spiritual Status: Not Christian

Every one of us here used to be like you, now we aren't. How about you learn from us for a little while instead of of immediately jumping into the shallow end head first?
 
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gracisings

Guest
#14
#14
Re: Need encouragement and guidance, having occasional "homosexual" thoughts

joshb12 said:
Hello everyone,

I made my account because I needed some help and guidance. When I say that I have been having "homosexual thoughts", I do not mean that I am sitting around dreaming about sexual desires with another guy, I just mean that I lately have found myself, when looking at a celebrity, thinking that they are attractive. I even feel like there may even be a twitch of having a possible stimulation, but it never happens. I feel like I may be worrying myself to death over this, because I do that a lot, but I don't want this to be me.

I am still extremely attracted to girls, and today when me and a female friend went for dinner, I definitely noticed our waitress and wanted to tell her that she was a beautiful lady (I of course didn't, because I'm a shy person).

I don't have desires of getting with another guy, nor do I want to have any physical relations in any sort with a guy, I've just been having these things going on that I said in paragraph 1. It may have even been a result of when I wanted to work out to physically be healthier and also have more self confidence, I looked to other fellow lifters for inspiration and motivation for how I wanted to be. I feel like it could also be caused from me not actually dating a girl in 2 years since my ex, and maybe I just feel like I'm alone. I'm not for sure on that, nor am I sure that I do feel alone, but I do definitely miss having a companion in my life to love and care for and to have the same in return.

Like I said, I don't want these thoughts to continue, and they worry me. I'm just looking for guidance, and prayer.
Click to expand...
I have a bad habit of analyzing other women, and looking at their figures thinking about how good/bad they look. Not a big thing; sounds similar to what you're describing.

I don't think it's homosexuality. I think it's part of our reaction to a highly sexualized culture. It becomes a part of us over time.

The answer I found is to ignore sex as much as is possible, and avoid stuff that has a lot of seductive pictures of women. As long as I avoid carefully, I'm fine. Then it's back to "She's a C cup... her hair is ugly but she's popular for her curves... her butt is shaped differently than mine is... she's gorgeous and all the guys I know would be going..."

So, avoid magazines with pictures of celebrities. (They aren't important, anyway!) Turn your thoughts to cars and electrical sockets, relax, ignore the world's focuses all you can, rejoice always, pray constantly, and give thanks in all circumstances. I think if you follow that plan, the problem will go away.
 
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ChristIsLord229

Senior Member
#15
Nov 10, 2013
266
1
0
#15
Re: Need encouragement and guidance, having occasional "homosexual" thoughts

Id like to know why 'homosexual' is in quotations...
 
3

38miles

Guest
#16
#16
Re: Need encouragement and guidance, having occasional "homosexual" thoughts

joshb12 said:
I feel like I may be worrying myself to death over this, because I do that a lot, but I don't want this to be me...
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Jesus just loves you. Your worry is His worry, and your desire to not want this is His desire to not want this for you. You are by no means alone in what you are feeling, both in the realization of it and the opposition to it. I don't care what anyone on this face of this earth says, there is a natural block in the conscience that makes everyone feel wrong about this. But like anything, it becomes the world's goal to destroy every block, every inhibition. The more voices that echo "it's fine" the more people push aside the block. "Sure...eat the fruit."

I love your heart. I'm going to pray for you. Also know this. Sex is ultimately the greatest power given to man. It is. Procreation is the actual process of man joining with God to literally remake what He "bara" in the beginning. So the devil knowing this fixed his greatest stronghold right there: sexuality. With it he has used the lie to deceive sexual identity, and that covers the entire scope of sexual immorality apart from God's monogamous, M&F life-long design. But believe this...the fact that you are experiencing this should indicate that you are worth something to the Most High. Trust in Him and lean your full weight on His sovereignty over you.

i hope I haven't offended you...
 
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theunwantedone

Banned
#17
Jun 12, 2013
33
0
0
#17
Re: Need encouragement and guidance, having occasional "homosexual" thoughts

Live the life you love
Love the life you live
 
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MarkMulder

Guest
#18
#18
Re: Need encouragement and guidance, having occasional "homosexual" thoughts

joshb12 said:
Hello everyone,

I made my account because I needed some help and guidance. When I say that I have been having "homosexual thoughts", I do not mean that I am sitting around dreaming about sexual desires with another guy, I just mean that I lately have found myself, when looking at a celebrity, thinking that they are attractive.
Click to expand...
We demolish arguments and every pretension
that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,
and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

[2 Corinthians 10:5]

God Bless
 
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TheTruthAboutTheTruth

Guest
#19
#19
Re: Need encouragement and guidance, having occasional "homosexual" thoughts

Do you want the Truth On why you are having those thoughts?
 
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