I'm feeling lonely

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ChristianGirlLivingLife

Guest
#1
Hey so I'm 17 and I'm getting to the age where my friends are starting to date and such.. I have never had a boyfriend, and in a way I feel like a third wheel and a bit left out. Is there any way I can get rid of these thoughts and just live life happy and single?
 
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lav

Guest
#2
yes. you have so much life to live. don't think all that matters is 'now.' at the same time, let God show you the answers. because you are listening , it could take longer... but sometimes the longer road is the more affluent road, in the end. the path less travelled- you know
 
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Jesusismyrock

Guest
#3
You aren't alone, don't worry about it. You'll find the right guy one day.
 
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Animus

Guest
#4
I didn't date anyone until I was 18 so I remember clearly the thoughts I had about it. The thing people forget is that when you've never been in a relationship every step of the process is daunting because it's all new. This can lead to the feeling that since you don't have the experience you've missed the train and now it's too late to catch it. This isn't the case at all though, and once you make a connection with a guy it'll all just come naturally, and then you'll look back and realize it was never anything to worry about.

As for being single, consider that once you meet this guy, things are going to change. There are two outcomes, either he's the guy you marry or he isn't. If he isn't, then you'll have an experience that will change you and some heartbreak. If he is, then you won't have the freedom that comes with being single ever again. I'm not talking about freedom to date or anything either, but rather where you go to school, where you work, how you spend your free time etc.. You are only 17 so you probably don't actually want to get married right now, I imagine you want to go school, or at least finish highschool, before settling down. In the secular world, the concept of dating is an ends in itself, but in the Christian world it is always a means to an ends (marriage).

After having dated a bit I'm glad to be single for this reason. My future is wide open, I can go anywhere, do anything, which also means I'm free to serve God in ways that a non-single person can't. A relationship is more than just sunshine and butterflies. With being single also comes a freedom from all of the stresses and emotional ups and downs that come with relationships. I'm sure you'll experience the nightmare that is dating someday, so just enjoy single life while it lasts.
 
Y

Yuanyuan

Guest
#5
Hi, i am 9 years older than you,lol. felt lonely when i was younger and single too. I rushed to date someone because of my loneliness. Eventually we parted ways. And later i rushed into another relationship soon because i was lonely. Then it also did not work out because i found i was more lonely. I was more lonely because no one could really fulfill our love expectation. But i did not know, i just thought i should get a better one. Then i dated 2 more. The first 3 happened before i was a believer. The last after i trusted God. He is a believer, but we have different visions. So eventually my heart broke again. Now, i have been single for more than 1 year. But i really regret to date so many guys. Because i gave part of my heart every time when i date. I also really understand only God can fulfill our needs, love us with th ways we want, accept me as who i am. And i also wish i should have spent more time to know and follow in Him. Also God created us for someone special. God would let him find you. Also God would bring you to him.

There is one book helped me a lot when i feel lonely. Lady in Waiting_ Jones Kendail. You can check it if you have interest.

You are not alone.
 

mystdancer50

Senior Member
Feb 26, 2012
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#7
Ha, wisebeardman, I've got you beat! I'll be 34 in February and I haven't done the date/boyfriend/whatever stuff. ;)

To the OP I'd say, focus on God. Our lives work in seasons. Some seasons will come with more of an acute awareness of being single and alone and being wistful and longing for relationship. The rest of the time it is really no big deal. :)

Find some people to hang out with that are single and loving it. :) You don't have to cut out your friends that are dating, by any means, but prayerfully seek godly friends that are waiting on God and are content being single. Then, in their season of 'discontentment', you can be the strength and encouragement for them. :)
 

alexis

Banned by Admin Team (verified fraud)
Dec 5, 2013
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#8
For me though I'm younger and have no desire to date at all.. The answer is focus in Christ.

Outside of that I think it's a good time to discover self. Find interest, hobbies and develope talents.
I see some of my peers being only into boys and then only what the boys are into once dating. I think they may not have taken time to develope their own interests.

But I get you, people pair up.. Look for a friend who wants to stay single.... Find hobbies!
Also just hang out here and chat with all of us... ;)
 

MartyrNdaMaKn

Senior Member
Jan 22, 2013
4,482
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#11
Yes, there is an awesome way to get rid of loneliness, its called getting into your prayer closet and spending time with Jesus, to have a deeper more meaningful relationship with him and to also know his will for you. The other thing would be to also surround yourself with other single like minded believers to be a support group for one another.
 
May 3, 2013
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#12
Many people feel like that, EVENLY MARRIED when something is not working properly.

This week some little girl wrote me, on FB, because she wnated to know about Elisha, one of my sons, and she said she felt despised, left, etc.

I beg you to go to some parent, to some of your family WORTHY of trust to communicate your feelings. Don´t look around on those who are dating or having girl-boyfriends, becasuse YOUR REFERENCE is you, you and God. They are growing (you too) but many people seize LONELINESS to hurt, to abuse emotionally and physically and, if you read a post in here, could see how this things happen when we say: I´m alone or feel alone.

Just develope a relationship with MOM or dad. I guess they love you enough TO HELP YOU WALK into adulthood.
 
Mar 20, 2013
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#14
Hi CGLL, Sure you can do personal study and learn what made Christ happy and single. Some of the Apostles were single and they felt it was a gift to be single because then they could serve in the ministry more fully. If we choose to have a relationship then we are putting our focus on that more. Not that relationships are a bad thing, we're human. How else are we supposed to "be fruitful and become many", right? That's and important thing to remember. A relationship is not a solution for loneliness or to fit in with the crowd. There's a purpose in God's plan for intimate relationships.

Maybe, you need to meet people who aren't focused on relationships at such a young age. I know there are kids your age who do know Christ and want to be pleasing to him too. They know that a romantic interests could easily lead to sexual immorality and other consequences they are not prepared for.

Fornication (Sex with someone you're not married to) might be the norm these days, but God has not changed the way he feels about it. Only people who do not have any relationship or belief in God or Christ at all, and people who have a weak relationship with them, commit Fornication. You don't want to fall into that behavior if you love The Son and God.

Pray for God to help you with his Holy Spirit to find other people who love and obey his ways the way you want to...if you really want to.

By the time you're my age you realize that other people don't cure loneliness. A badly planned love life will leave you unsatisfied and you'll do what everyone else does. Go from one hook up (boyfriends are short term) to the next until you find one that works...if you find one that works. You'll have to work thru all the heartache that comes with naive, mixed up ideas about "Love" and life.

Give yourself time to grow as a person. Unless of course, you feel ready to handle the dysfunction that results from young boyfriends and sex. Find other ways to be involved with people other than dating. Most important though, please don't hurt your relationship with God because you get focused on your own 'wants'. He'll take care of our 'needs', he rewards us with the things that will make us happy. If we put his 'wants' above our own the way the Son did and still does. Jesus didn't do what other people were doing...he could've had a harem! But he wanted to present his service to his Heavenly Father in an uncorrupted and faithful way. His purpose was not just to die, but to also show us the example of how God, his/our Heavenly Father wanted us to live in harmony with Bible Scripture. Let God's thought's replace your own, by studying the Bible with other people who love him and want to obey him. You won't be lonely.
 

breno785au

Senior Member
Jul 23, 2013
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Australia
#15
Consider the futility (uselessness) of dating. Why bother pairing up with someone if your not going to commit to them? I think its an an incredibly horrible thing to put someone through a 'testing stage' to see if you end up liking them. I also think dating belongs to the world who are lost, not for those who are waiting and trusting on God for their partner, not that im saying dating is sin but unwise, save yourself the heartache of dating and keep your eyes on Jesus :)
 
May 3, 2013
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#16
(...) I'll be 34 in February and I haven't done the date/boyfriend/whatever stuff. ;)

Then, in their season of 'discontentment', you can be the strength and encouragement for them. :)
Can we give you a birthday present like this?

grumpy-old-men.jpg
 
May 3, 2013
8,719
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#17
Consider the futility (uselessness) of dating. Why bother pairing up with someone if your not going to commit to them? I think its an an incredibly horrible thing to put someone through a 'testing stage' to see if you end up liking them. I also think dating belongs to the world who are lost, not for those who are waiting and trusting on God for their partner, not that im saying dating is sin but unwise, save yourself the heartache of dating and keep your eyes on Jesus :)
Wow! It may seem useless, but it does serves for many who gave us room to be alive, here on earth.

The pagan world where many came from teaches us the wrong way, but dating to know a person is good, without THOSE THINGS taht have to be put AWAY.

I confess my wrong doing, I repent, but I wasn´t living in a holy world (and still being the same). Paganism seems to be ruling all over.
 
May 3, 2013
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#18
Can we give you a birthday present like this?

View attachment 66400
What I wanted to say with this picture is dating has some sense. I cannot imaging Rachel dating Isaac, because she fell in love for the wealth she has seen on the servant sent... Later on, they both have time to share, but THAT WAS A BLIND DECISION she made and, if ISAAC was ugly enough, she could have turn back home. Did she?
 

NateDaGrimes

Senior Member
Jan 7, 2013
445
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#19
lol now im in this new highschool i start feeling the same. honestly though as i may want a gf, im usually too shy to ask or im just trying my best to stay single. (yes im still single atm)
 
D

dsak13

Guest
#20
I feel pretty much the same way as I think you do. Just lonely. I've never had a gf but I guess i should be pouring that energy into a relationship with jesus but it's hard being as he isnt a tangible person. I'm tired of the process of crushing on someone, then moving on for whatever reason, then on to the next girl. It just feels like im doing it wrong
 
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