Missing a piece of the puzzle

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kairiskywalker

kairiskywalker

Member
#1
Mar 12, 2014
30
0
6
#1
Uhm, hey :) I don't know if it was better to start this post on the "Christian singles" section, but anyway...
I don't know why but sometimes I feel so alone...even if I have friends, my family and above all I have God, my Saviour.
I suppose that many of you share my same problem: being a Christian nowadays is very difficult. People our age use drugs, like to go to the disco, like to wear particular type of clothes, and also like to do or to talk about things which are not very "christian". I'm a very shy girl and I'm not interested with these types of things, but I have dreams like them:
To have a boyfriend for ex.

Yeah, I'm 18 years old and I've never been out on a date with a guy, never kissed anybody.

I've a sort of huge crush on a guy who goes to a church near mine. We've been friends since we were little and well, I suppose I've been misunderstanding his words/actions because I thought he was interested in me...but he sees me just as a friend. The problem is that...after many months we met at a party and he was very kind and sweet and adorable to me that I fell for him even harder. I don't know what to do, and I'm very embarrassed because sometimes I do very strange dreams about him >.<

well, my question is:
do you feel alone sometimes? Like you need a piece of the puzzle? Does it also happen to you to have those type of dreams?
 
A

ALauren

Member
#2
Oct 22, 2013
93
1
0
#2
kairiskywalker said:
Uhm, hey :) I don't know if it was better to start this post on the "Christian singles" section, but anyway...
I don't know why but sometimes I feel so alone...even if I have friends, my family and above all I have God, my Saviour.
I suppose that many of you share my same problem: being a Christian nowadays is very difficult. People our age use drugs, like to go to the disco, like to wear particular type of clothes, and also like to do or to talk about things which are not very "christian". I'm a very shy girl and I'm not interested with these types of things, but I have dreams like them:
To have a boyfriend for ex.

Yeah, I'm 18 years old and I've never been out on a date with a guy, never kissed anybody.

I've a sort of huge crush on a guy who goes to a church near mine. We've been friends since we were little and well, I suppose I've been misunderstanding his words/actions because I thought he was interested in me...but he sees me just as a friend. The problem is that...after many months we met at a party and he was very kind and sweet and adorable to me that I fell for him even harder. I don't know what to do, and I'm very embarrassed because sometimes I do very strange dreams about him >.<

well, my question is:
do you feel alone sometimes? Like you need a piece of the puzzle? Does it also happen to you to have those type of dreams?
Click to expand...
Everyone feels alone one time or another. It's just how we handle it that gets us out of that funk. If you are feeling like you are missing a piece of the puzzle, pray to God about it. Many girls think they need a guy in their lives to fill that last missing piece, but in reality, having a more in depth relationship with God will fill that hole much quicker, and it will never leave. Just pray to God and let him take the lead. If you are meant to be with this boy, he will make it happen, in his timing. Hang in there and don't lose hope!:)
 
JimJimmers

JimJimmers

Senior Member
#3
Apr 26, 2012
2,584
70
48
#3
Don't feel like you're abnormal in any way for an 18-year-old, you're completely normal.

I'm not sure what you meant by "To have a boyfriend for ex." But plenty of people haven't kissed by the time they're 18, it's normal. One thing I think will help you though. The Bible says to "let this mind be in you, which was in Christ Jesus". Now, it's impossible for you to do that yourself. But if you pray and ask God to give you that mind, I think you'll feel released from the situation. Not that you will never have another bad thought. We're still human, you will never be totally free from the world while you are in it. But I think that is your missing puzzle piece. :) -JIM
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#4
#4
Read through the Singles section, lots of people feel lonely. The key is to not put emphasis on it. The more you dwell on it, focus on it and put priority on it, the bigger the problem you will have.
In reality the best thing you can do is just focus on your school and growing in God. If He wants to bring someone along in His time, then great. If not, then that's something you'll have to cope with. I have a friend on the site here who is 30 and never dated or kissed. I've heard of others as well, even older.
But at your age, you should focus on the life you have now. Going out with friends, ministry, etc.. Take the time to live your life and enjoy yourself now. If you spend your life on a constant search for a companion, all that will lead to is waking up one day and realizing you've wasted your life chasing after another human and that your life has slipped past you.
I suggest forget this guy, forget dating. Go out and do all the things you want to do and trust God to handle things.
Another good idea is to Learn about marriage. Most people think they know it all, but quickly find out they know very little once they get married. There is a lot to learn about marriage, use this time to learn it, so that when you Do meet someone you will know what to look for, have wisdom to know if he may be good for you or not and if so, how to have a right attitude and expectation in a marriage. Because marriage isn't about making you happy, it's about sharing the happiness you have with someone else.
 
kairiskywalker

kairiskywalker

Member
#6
Mar 12, 2014
30
0
6
#6
It's difficult to stop thinking about dating when you always see around happy couples...I guess only God can help me through this! And I will also pray about my feelings...sometimes I say:"how I love this guy" but then I'm unsure if it is real love or only a crush. Also, I see this guy every Sunday at the church and it will be difficult to ignore him :(
 
J

Jda016

Guest
#7
#7
I'm 30 and have not dated or kissed either. =)

Of course it gets lonely sometimes, but I have found it actually gets better as you get older. A lot of the feelings we have as teenagers are based more around infatuation than real love. I felt this way about people quite often, being infatuated, couldn't stop thinking about them, etc. ironically the more I got to know some of these people the less infatuated i was, because I saw they were human just like everyone else.

We have a tendency to fantasize people and think they are "the one" or that they will fulfills all our needs. That is never the case.

i found being active with other People, friends, and charities help a lot.

Also the thing that has helped me the most, is when I am feeling lonely or down, I go and get my headphones and listen to Christian music. Sometimes I will just listen to instrumental pieces and I will pray. I will tell God how I feel in my thoughts or sometimes I will write it down. I ask Him to give me peace and help calm the storm and you know what, He always does! =)
 
MrMike85

MrMike85

Member
#8
Feb 26, 2014
60
0
6
#8
Jda016 said:
I'm 30 and have not dated or kissed either. =)

Of course it gets lonely sometimes, but I have found it actually gets better as you get older. A lot of the feelings we have as teenagers are based more around infatuation than real love. I felt this way about people quite often, being infatuated, couldn't stop thinking about them, etc. ironically the more I got to know some of these people the less infatuated i was, because I saw they were human just like everyone else.

We have a tendency to fantasize people and think they are "the one" or that they will fulfills all our needs. That is never the case.

i found being active with other People, friends, and charities help a lot.

Also the thing that has helped me the most, is when I am feeling lonely or down, I go and get my headphones and listen to Christian music. Sometimes I will just listen to instrumental pieces and I will pray. I will tell God how I feel in my thoughts or sometimes I will write it down. I ask Him to give me peace and help calm the storm and you know what, He always does! =)
Click to expand...
awesome, i have had a few relationships but after watching the following sermon it's made me question so many things
that should be taken into account. i hope you find the time to watch and hopefully gain something from it.

Dating, Courtship, and Marriage - Paul Washer - YouTube
 
L

Lucy68

Senior Member
#9
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#9
kairiskywalker said:
It's difficult to stop thinking about dating when you always see around happy couples...I guess only God can help me through this! And I will also pray about my feelings...sometimes I say:"how I love this guy" but then I'm unsure if it is real love or only a crush. Also, I see this guy every Sunday at the church and it will be difficult to ignore him :(
Click to expand...

You are completely normal :). It's exciting to be 'in love' and to have a crush on someone.

I remember being rather obsessive with one boy in my teenage years :)..probably to the point of being mentally unhealthy. Not to say that is your situation but being young and inexperienced with strong emotions can lead to some unpleasant experiences.

Take it slow and maintain you relationship with Christ first and foremost. God put a very strong longing in us to share our lives with another significant person and He will lead you to that person. Don't be in too big of a hurry :).
 
J

Jda016

Guest
#10
#10
kairiskywalker

kairiskywalker

Member
#11
Mar 12, 2014
30
0
6
#11
That video really helped me! I didin't know this Paul Washer but he is awesome!
 
S

Spokenpassage

Guest
#12
#12
There has been times I felt alone, but I have always reminded myself that I have Christ and somehow Jesus fills my heart. There is times where I want to talk with other Christians my age and discuss things like the bible. I know of some, but they don't seem so interested.
 
kairiskywalker

kairiskywalker

Member
#13
Mar 12, 2014
30
0
6
#13
I have friends at church that sometimes prefer to talk about things like:" what can I wear today at church???" Rather than pray together or talk about the Bible -.-"
My friends at school who don't believe are more interested than them!
 
S

Spokenpassage

Guest
#14
#14
Maybe we are called to stir them up in the faith. To help our friends and family see God more than before in their lives.
 
kairiskywalker

kairiskywalker

Member
#15
Mar 12, 2014
30
0
6
#15
In fact I love when they ask me questions about what God has done in my life because usually they seems happy but are very sad on the inside :(
 
S

Spokenpassage

Guest
#16
#16
At least you are sharing the light of Christ, planting a seed in their lonely hearts. :)
 
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