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I'm new to this forum, but I just want some good, solid Christian advice in this area because I can't speak to my own family and friends for fear of being laughed at. I don't blame them for a little insensitivity, after all, anyone who knows me would be very surprised that I feel this way.
However, I do need someone to talk to, someone without bias, who will give me some godly advice on my situation. I apologize if this post gets really long, length becomes necessary to give you a proper picture of the situation.
Alright, so there's this guy, as I mentioned above, who I've known since before forever. Our families went to the same church throughout our childhood, and since we're only a few months apart, we've known each other since infancy. Our families are quite good friends, his older brother works a lot for my dad and his mom and my mom are quite close, and his grandparents are very familiar to us and we all get along well. At our church there were not many kids our age, actually, there were none. Just me and him really, so we become friends quite early in life. I remember being told when I was young that he had told his grandparents when he was 3 that he wanted to marry me. At the time, being a wild, little tomboy, I was probably like, "ewww", but now I think it's pretty cute and sweet. He maintained a sort of 'crush' well into our preteen years, at least until the age of 12 as far as I know. Throughout our childhood we remained close and friendly. We both live out in the country and on farms, and we would often just run around outside together, in the trees or by the water or whatever. We had fun. We would see each other on Sundays and sometimes did things together, like going to each other's houses or snowmobiling or playing ping-pong. I can't remember how old I was but I do remember him and his mom coming over around Valentine's day and he gave me a poem and bracelet (I neither have or remember the poem, but I do have the bracelet).
When I was 12, my family left that church but we still hung out a little, we took an art class together which was tons of fun. However, after that, our contact kind of died, and I hadn't seen him up until last year, when my grandparents began going to our old church and I started going with them on occasion. This church sponsors a local children's Christian camp, which I work at, and the camp director is a regular attendant of this church, his daughter, one of my older friends, and I were working in the kitchen at camp one day, and we got on the topic of this guy (since she loves to bring it up). Out of genuine curiosity, I asked if he was taller than me yet (as he'd always been slightly shorter). She said she didn't know and the conversation turned. However, the next week of camp, we were working together again, and she told me how she'd seen this guy at church the past Sunday and mentioned my offhand comment about height as she walked out of the door with him and his mom. His mom laughed and apparently he blushed and smiled and she said that height was important to us when we were younger. When they separated and headed to their cars she overheard his mom say; "See, she does ask about you!"
I saw him a couple times at church after that, we didn't really talk but I caught his eye on more than one occasion. Then his mom and mine were texting and they invited me to the church's youth group. I went with him and we talked a little bit, he seemed more relaxed in this group of younger people, without our parents there to pick up on every glance and gesture, and some of his old, mischeviousness came back. I haven't seen him since, but I have wanted/tried to. My family keeps teasing me, saying; "He still loves you!" but I'm really wondering if he does, or if he just wants to hang out? Our parents have been trying to set us up (not really but you know) in subtle and not-so-subtle ways for ages, and I think their opinions are sort of biased.
For years our families and church friends have been teasing us, pushing us closer, and now all that tension might come to head because my dad mentioned today that this guy's older brother told him that he might be working at this camp this summer. I am planning on working, and I am just a little nervous about how our relationship will develop when we're in this sort of gossipy, close, family-oriented environment. At camp, people very much enjoy setting up other people up with guys and girls, and teasing you about love, and falling in love and it's just generally that sort of thing (in a Christian way of course). I don't know what to expect, especially from the camp director, who knows us both and I'm sure knows about his crush and is very, VERY good at teasing people, particularly about romance and particularly in front of others (not that this offends me, but it might be humiliating).
As for my part, I'm feeling kind of conflicted. I never liked him (romantically) when we were younger, as I was very much against ideas of love and romance and very much a tomboy, and still am, just with a touch more femininity. If I like him, I don't feel comfortable describing it as a 'crush', I think crushes are kind of silly things and I'd like to think I'm not being silly about this, or lovey-dovey or anything. At this point, I could see us growing up and getting married, quite a few years from now, as we both need some maturity, but it is possible, and it would certainly be nice if we could. The romances that have always struck me as the sweetest are ones that strike up between childhood friends and companions. If that worked out for me I would be kind of thrilled.
But I just need another opinion on this. He is a nice guy, always a perfect gentlemen when we were kids, treated me really well, loves to tease, knows how to work, has been raised similar to me, quite good-looking, has known me for a long time, nothing seems out of place in my eyes, but I could be wrong. One thing he lacks is maturity and a strong Christian foundation, but with guys, maturity comes with time and he does have a Christian foundation at the very least. We are both sixteen, about twenty minutes away from each other, are both homeschooled, both go to Baptist churches, both like being outside, etc. Can anyone give me some advice in this situation? How should I be around him? Just friends? And how can I tell if he wants to be more?
PS. I don't think he's taller than me yet (and I'm only 5'5)! If he is, it's really, really close!
However, I do need someone to talk to, someone without bias, who will give me some godly advice on my situation. I apologize if this post gets really long, length becomes necessary to give you a proper picture of the situation.
Alright, so there's this guy, as I mentioned above, who I've known since before forever. Our families went to the same church throughout our childhood, and since we're only a few months apart, we've known each other since infancy. Our families are quite good friends, his older brother works a lot for my dad and his mom and my mom are quite close, and his grandparents are very familiar to us and we all get along well. At our church there were not many kids our age, actually, there were none. Just me and him really, so we become friends quite early in life. I remember being told when I was young that he had told his grandparents when he was 3 that he wanted to marry me. At the time, being a wild, little tomboy, I was probably like, "ewww", but now I think it's pretty cute and sweet. He maintained a sort of 'crush' well into our preteen years, at least until the age of 12 as far as I know. Throughout our childhood we remained close and friendly. We both live out in the country and on farms, and we would often just run around outside together, in the trees or by the water or whatever. We had fun. We would see each other on Sundays and sometimes did things together, like going to each other's houses or snowmobiling or playing ping-pong. I can't remember how old I was but I do remember him and his mom coming over around Valentine's day and he gave me a poem and bracelet (I neither have or remember the poem, but I do have the bracelet).
When I was 12, my family left that church but we still hung out a little, we took an art class together which was tons of fun. However, after that, our contact kind of died, and I hadn't seen him up until last year, when my grandparents began going to our old church and I started going with them on occasion. This church sponsors a local children's Christian camp, which I work at, and the camp director is a regular attendant of this church, his daughter, one of my older friends, and I were working in the kitchen at camp one day, and we got on the topic of this guy (since she loves to bring it up). Out of genuine curiosity, I asked if he was taller than me yet (as he'd always been slightly shorter). She said she didn't know and the conversation turned. However, the next week of camp, we were working together again, and she told me how she'd seen this guy at church the past Sunday and mentioned my offhand comment about height as she walked out of the door with him and his mom. His mom laughed and apparently he blushed and smiled and she said that height was important to us when we were younger. When they separated and headed to their cars she overheard his mom say; "See, she does ask about you!"
I saw him a couple times at church after that, we didn't really talk but I caught his eye on more than one occasion. Then his mom and mine were texting and they invited me to the church's youth group. I went with him and we talked a little bit, he seemed more relaxed in this group of younger people, without our parents there to pick up on every glance and gesture, and some of his old, mischeviousness came back. I haven't seen him since, but I have wanted/tried to. My family keeps teasing me, saying; "He still loves you!" but I'm really wondering if he does, or if he just wants to hang out? Our parents have been trying to set us up (not really but you know) in subtle and not-so-subtle ways for ages, and I think their opinions are sort of biased.
For years our families and church friends have been teasing us, pushing us closer, and now all that tension might come to head because my dad mentioned today that this guy's older brother told him that he might be working at this camp this summer. I am planning on working, and I am just a little nervous about how our relationship will develop when we're in this sort of gossipy, close, family-oriented environment. At camp, people very much enjoy setting up other people up with guys and girls, and teasing you about love, and falling in love and it's just generally that sort of thing (in a Christian way of course). I don't know what to expect, especially from the camp director, who knows us both and I'm sure knows about his crush and is very, VERY good at teasing people, particularly about romance and particularly in front of others (not that this offends me, but it might be humiliating).
As for my part, I'm feeling kind of conflicted. I never liked him (romantically) when we were younger, as I was very much against ideas of love and romance and very much a tomboy, and still am, just with a touch more femininity. If I like him, I don't feel comfortable describing it as a 'crush', I think crushes are kind of silly things and I'd like to think I'm not being silly about this, or lovey-dovey or anything. At this point, I could see us growing up and getting married, quite a few years from now, as we both need some maturity, but it is possible, and it would certainly be nice if we could. The romances that have always struck me as the sweetest are ones that strike up between childhood friends and companions. If that worked out for me I would be kind of thrilled.
But I just need another opinion on this. He is a nice guy, always a perfect gentlemen when we were kids, treated me really well, loves to tease, knows how to work, has been raised similar to me, quite good-looking, has known me for a long time, nothing seems out of place in my eyes, but I could be wrong. One thing he lacks is maturity and a strong Christian foundation, but with guys, maturity comes with time and he does have a Christian foundation at the very least. We are both sixteen, about twenty minutes away from each other, are both homeschooled, both go to Baptist churches, both like being outside, etc. Can anyone give me some advice in this situation? How should I be around him? Just friends? And how can I tell if he wants to be more?
PS. I don't think he's taller than me yet (and I'm only 5'5)! If he is, it's really, really close!
. Enjoy each other's company and try to ignore the teasing and pressure from parents and friends. The parents are good friends (?) and are naturally drawn to the idea of being in-laws; but don't let this influence you. Parents will be parents