Online fantasy relationship VS. real lonely life. What should I do?

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GodsGirl368

Guest
#1
#1
Online fantasy relationship VS. real lonely life. What should I do?



I've been in this "online relationship" for two years now. We're not bf and gf kinda thing but we did say we love each other. Now...I want to brake it off. I'm not sure about his real personality, I don't like his looks, he lives across the ocean...but I still managed to style a picture perfect of him in my head. And it feels like he's all in my heart and just cant imagine not talking to him. In real life...I'm shy and nervous around guys. I'm still in High school I'm 18,soo not that much of a choice of guys except players that go for the V. I cant take any physical action for guys, I don't want to kiss and be all unicorns and rainbows, I want something real. But...I know when I get there in RL, guys will want to use me as aways
 
Percepi

Percepi

Banned
#2
Feb 16, 2014
903
2
0
#2
First of all, not all guys just want to use women. You just need to find the right guy.

Second, you need to do whatever you can not to lead other people on - online and in real life. If you're not interested in being this guy's girlfriend, then you need to make sure he understands you're not looking for such a relationship. If you don't tell him this, all you're going to do is waste his time by building up his feelings for you - just so his heart gets broken later. Let him go now, that way he can focus on finding another girl and it won't hurt him as much.

Lastly, there's no reason the two of you can't be friends. You can let him go and remain friends at the same time.
 
PopClick

PopClick

Senior Member
#3
Aug 12, 2011
4,055
136
63
#3
My advice is: listen to Percepi. ^^
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#4
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#4
The online alternative will help you know who you are and how people are.

The real one experience is better to grow but those can be risky and hurting (though online seems to be prophilactic).

Read books about this matter. I recommend Christian authors, such as Bod Dobson´s books.

BE blessed!
 
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Ugly

Guest
#5
#5
You talk about guys wanting to only use women (not true), but you're using this guy online. You are leading him on into thinking something that isn't true. Perhaps you should be less worried about labeling every guy in the world as a user, and keep your own self more in check.
 
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ALauren

Member
#6
Oct 22, 2013
93
1
0
#6
GodsGirl368 said:
Online fantasy relationship VS. real lonely life. What should I do?



I've been in this "online relationship" for two years now. We're not bf and gf kinda thing but we did say we love each other. Now...I want to brake it off. I'm not sure about his real personality, I don't like his looks, he lives across the ocean...but I still managed to style a picture perfect of him in my head. And it feels like he's all in my heart and just cant imagine not talking to him. In real life...I'm shy and nervous around guys. I'm still in High school I'm 18,soo not that much of a choice of guys except players that go for the V. I cant take any physical action for guys, I don't want to kiss and be all unicorns and rainbows, I want something real. But...I know when I get there in RL, guys will want to use me as aways
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well, you have to ask yourself an honest question. Did you really like him as a person, or did you just like the company and friendship he was giving you? Don't use this guy or mislead him. It breaks their hearts just as much as it does ours. Be careful, but still follow your heart. Be honest, that's the safest way to go about these types of things. Just tell him the truth and hopefully he will understand.
 
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Halocandy

Guest
#7
#7
Do you know if this guy is a Christian because if he's not then you should break it off asap. It may hurt really bad now but trust me its gonna suck more the longer you string this along, if he is a Christian you should talk to your parents or an older person that you trust and If you do decide to meet in person you should def bring a friend or an adult if all else fails pray and there's always Christian mingle.com
 
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Addy007

Guest
#8
#8
My question is why do you want to go into relationship? Because your age mates are doing it or you believe is what you need right now or God is ordering your steps? I will advice that you talk to God. He has all the answers. Don't God into relationship with an iota of doubt, you must be fully PERSUADED
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#9
Mar 13, 2014
41,311
16,300
113
69
Tennessee
#9
Regarding an on-line relationship: You must decide in your heart the reason for doing this. I believe that this type of a relationship is an excellent way to get to know someone, especially true in your case as you have said you are shy. There will come a point where you must decide whether you just enjoy corresponding to each other or whether you actually intend to pursue the other party. As you do not seem to harbor romantic feelings in your heart for this person then you should have the decency to let him know so spare a more intense heartache later on. Two years is an extremely long period to be in this type of relationship without acting upon it in a decisive way. Either the two of you should actually meet or one or the other should break it off as things are obviously not working out. Not everyone is just out to use the other person. The person your in contact with sounds sincere. You are using him by keeping up this charade. Either gather up your courage to take it to another level or end this now. That is my advice to you.

Unicorns are cute and rainbows are awesome. Depends on how you look at things. Seek out God's counsel on all matters. You are in real life right now.
 
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