I'm afraid my heart is hardening? :(

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Danielle1234

Guest
#1
#1
The past couple of days my faith has been like a roller coaster, I would have a lot of faith a few times during the day but not for a long time and every morning when I wake up it seems like my faith has just ran away. And I keep having OCD thoughts and blasphemous thoughts that I don't want at all and I repent of them but still my faith is still pretty low. And I keep having a hard time KEEPING my faith in Jesus and don't know why. I don't think I'm rejecting Jesus and I don't want to but I don't know why my faith keeps dwindling though. I don't want to harden my heart against God because I love God but I don't know why I can't keep my faith when I have it and why I feel so far from God. I don't like feeling far from God and I DISLIKE IT SO MUCH when I my faith in Jesus is so low. I'm afraid that I am unknowingly hardening my heart by accident. Is there a reason why my faith keeps dropping and why I feel so far from God? How come these OCD thoughts can convince me so easily about lies but I can't convince myself of the absolute truth? :(
 
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Richie_2uk

Guest
#2
#2
Danielle1234 said:
The past couple of days my faith has been like a roller coaster, I would have a lot of faith a few times during the day but not for a long time and every morning when I wake up it seems like my faith has just ran away. And I keep having OCD thoughts and blasphemous thoughts that I don't want at all and I repent of them but still my faith is still pretty low. And I keep having a hard time KEEPING my faith in Jesus and don't know why. I don't think I'm rejecting Jesus and I don't want to but I don't know why my faith keeps dwindling though. I don't want to harden my heart against God because I love God but I don't know why I can't keep my faith when I have it and why I feel so far from God. I don't like feeling far from God and I DISLIKE IT SO MUCH when I my faith in Jesus is so low. I'm afraid that I am unknowingly hardening my heart by accident. Is there a reason why my faith keeps dropping and why I feel so far from God? How come these OCD thoughts can convince me so easily about lies but I can't convince myself of the absolute truth? :(
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Believe me danielle1234, God can never be far from you, only we can distance ourselves from God. We all fall short sometimes, and we do tend to distance ourselves from God from time to time. But endure it, but endure it With Jesus. Don't do it alone. When you fall, Who is there to pick you up? Take that opertunity to be lifted by Jesus. Because thats all he wants to do, trust in him, lift up a prayer to him, listen to uplifting Christian music, and get into that place were you can feel at ease. All God wants to do is to bless you, its his thing, its his doing. Pray to him, read the bible, and praise him, you will see that your thoughts will be trained to focus on God.

I pray that the enemy will ease off you, I thank God for his strenghth to be upon you, and ask God for wisdom. God bless danielle1234. trust in him, focus on him, and just speak to him.
 
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Danielle1234

Guest
#3
#3
Thank you for that response, but why does my faith dwindle? Every morning it feels like my faith is gone and all I'm trying to make it grow but its hard. When I read the Bible, especially ones about Jesus, my faith either doesn't grow at all or I have to force my faith to grow which is mentally hard and stressing. (The "Th" was an accident I'm on my phone and the keyboard left randomly and I accidentally pressed reply to thread), sorry about that)
 
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Richie_2uk

Guest
#4
#4
Danielle1234 said:
Thank you for that response, but why does my faith dwindle? Every morning it feels like my faith is gone and all I'm trying to make it grow but its hard. When I read the Bible, especially ones about Jesus, my faith either doesn't grow at all or I have to force my faith to grow which is mentally hard and stressing. (The "Th" was an accident I'm on my phone and the keyboard left randomly and I accidentally pressed reply to thread), sorry about that)
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The enemy can play a part in your faith dwindle, only he amplifies it from you. You need to train your mind, to put away the negativity, and replace it with possitive thoughts. It will be hard, but thats were your faith comes in, trust in God, trust in him and you will be lifted out from your hardened heart. As God will certainly lift you up,
 
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Danielle1234

Guest
#5
#5
Thank you I will. :) Is my heart really hardened though even though I don't welcome these horrible thoughts and I WANT my faith to grow?
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#6
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
16,301
113
69
Tennessee
#6
Danielle1234 said:
Thank you I will. :) Is my heart really hardened though even though I don't welcome these horrible thoughts and I WANT my faith to grow?
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Your heart is not harden, dear. If you feel that your faith has left you in the morning that means it was with you when you fell asleep. Establish a new routine by getting up at a slightly different time. When you wake up say the Lord's prayer right away. You are on the right path because you want your faith to grow. You are not alone in this Danielle!
 
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SabbieWabbie

Guest
#7
#7
Even christians who seem so strong and faithful have doubts and fears at times.

Has something happened that is making you question your faith?

Mark 9:24 Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”

Ask God to take your doubt away, start speaking with your mouth and not just in your head positive things that will affirm your faith.

Your heart is not hardened.
 
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Danielle1234

Guest
#8
#8
Thank you tourist and SabbleWabble for being so kind. :)
 
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Raine

Guest
#9
#9
Hmm... Danielle, I like to pray over this verse. Helps me a lot. :)

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone (stubborn) and give you a heart of flesh (tender and responsive)" - Ezekial 36:26
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#10
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
16,301
113
69
Tennessee
#10
Raine said:
Hmm... Danielle, I like to pray over this verse. Helps me a lot. :)

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone (stubborn) and give you a heart of flesh (tender and responsive)" - Ezekial 36:26
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What a beautiful piece of Scripture! That can be true in our own lives, and for mine in particular. Thank You.
 
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paulsfam4

Guest
#11
#11
the devil is playing head games with you, you're good and saved and love the lord and he loves you.. a little help when I get the head game attack I pray in the spirit for awhile and read the bible.
 
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Danielle1234

Guest
#12
#12
Thnk you so much everyone I feel a little better now and it's nighttime where I live so my faith is back now. :) (that's weird though how it only comes at night huh?) Thank you for that Scripture I really like that one. :)
 
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JustAnotherUser

Guest
#13
#13
I'd like to suggest if anything that if these repulsive and bad thoughts come at night then please be careful. It's hard to break the habit once you let it take over and it can do some bad effects on your overall health (insomnia is one of them). I'm not saying this to scare you but the earlier you're aware of it the better you can handle it. Take care.
 
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biscuit

Guest
#14
#14
"Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me." (Revelation 3:20)

Danielle, are you a reborn or saved Christian? If not, I would urge you to find a good trusted church pastor to talk about getting saved. You are at a very vulnerable age and Satan is preying on you. But once you are reborn & saved, you will acquire the Holy Ghost who will be your strength & protector. A heavy burden will be lifted from your shoulders unto Jesus.

"Come unto me, all you that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)
 
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Hungry

Banned
#15
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
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#15
May I ask what it is in particular you are having doubts about? My daughter just turned 16 and let me tell you, her emotions fluctuate by the minute. Do you start to wonder if God exists and that you feel like you are talking to yourself or do you wonder if He cares? There is a good deal of misinformation so I was hoping it's something specific we could address to clarify for you.
 
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Danielle1234

Guest
#16
#16
I sometimes question God's existence but most of the time my brain has trouble believing Jesus. I have been Catholic all my life and knew about God and Jesus and had faith in Them and just recently I wanted to learn more about them but what's ironic is the more I learn the more my brain doubts for some reason. My faith goes up and down all day long and I don't know why. I also have OCD and its horrible because of the thoughts. Sometimes I feel like God doesn't exist but at the same time I'm s aged because if I don't believe He exists then He will be mad at me because He really does exist. It's really confusing, I'm scared He'll be mad at me because I am doubting which is nonsense because at the same time I believe He does and doesn't exist. I'm really confused but I WANT more faith in God and Jesus and don't know why it disappeared in the first place. :(
 
Blase-and-Blithe

Blase-and-Blithe

Banned
#17
Jun 14, 2013
55
0
0
#17
Try this.

Sit in a chair, any old chair will do sit straight up and put your hands on your knees with your back straight. Now close your eyes and empty your mind. Focus on a sound or thought, other thoughts will arise but acknowledge them and return to your original focus. Do this for five minutes, every day. Keep your mind free and you will notice other things and eventually be able to still your mind and pray to the fullness of the divine.

Pray after wards, any prayer will do. Start with a simple one such as an our father or hail Mary. Then pray your own prayers. Simply do this daily. Focus, pray, repeat. Embrace the stillness and feel the holy wisdom (Sophia) of the universal God (fullness, or Pleroma) overcome you.

I've been practicing this for several days now and it works wonders. If you have any questions, don't be shy. :)

I was raised Roman Catholic so I can understand a lack of faith.
 
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Danielle1234

Guest
#18
#18
I have one question, I have read that I must focus on God all the time but I found that when I focus ok God all day I put myself in stress because I am trying to grow my faith and at the same time keep the OCD thoughts away. Should I be focusing on God literally 24/7 or just a few times a day?
 
Blase-and-Blithe

Blase-and-Blithe

Banned
#19
Jun 14, 2013
55
0
0
#19
There's nothing wrong with acknowledging and embracing God all the time. You could be overwhelming yourself though. What I suggested was 5-15 minutes everyday where you fully ddedicate yourself to meditating on the fullness of God.

With OCD, consciously clearing your mind can be a great benefit. Don't stress, that can steer you away from the enlightenment through faith (Pistis), wisdom (Sophia) and fullness (Pleroma) in God. Just sit and think. Remember you are a piece of God, with a direct source to Him facilitated by the Sacred Flame of your spirit.
 
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Danielle1234

Guest
#20
#20
Thank you and I will do that. :) I think stressing 24/7 about God was giving my OCD too much attention because before I was perfectly at peace with God and Jesus. Thank you again. :)
 
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