I am alone,

[Mybrokenlessthenthree]

No self praise, because I never do this type of thing, but I'm tried of exhausting other resources. (Type on phone = mistakes)

I am a teen, normal. Perfect health, no meds, no prescription, no physical or mental abnormalities. However my mind is... different.

I don't... do so many things or feel many more. Christ really knocked my down on the pride peg, side of my life. I don't boast in myself or my ability. I'm... without Christ
I am stoic, with unfailing resilience. Death is meaningless, I do not mourn. I'm morbid, the thought of death fascinates me, something to be embraced and not feared.
Anyhow with Christ reigning in my life I am immortal my emotions aren't they're God's, his love, his mercy, ... because I don't have any. It breaks me down because I can't feel. I just don't but thanks be to God! He is everything and so it reall y messes me up.
Because I dont want
Popularity in school
The best dressed
Hottest girlfriend
Fastest car
Loudest speaker
Sex
Those things don't matter God's opened my eyes and I'm different. Everything suddenly I give up, this summer all of everything I drink for God, he the spring of life. All I drink is water. And we lust after drinks or crave coffee it remind of God and I think it a temptation. It's really made me stronger. Anyhow God reigning in my life and it's hard for me to find someone to talk to... typically I talk to girls because they care I can compliment them, I don't have to be at all intimate and I get along perfectly well, a guy who listens and dosn't want sex. But with guys they don't understand, oh you don't want a new charger? Or to be football star kr etc. And it's hard for me to find guys or girls to talk to on a friendshup basis ever because Christ reigns... it just makes us different... anyhow girls guys message me reply it dosn't matter, but I don't have friends, I've always said I dont need them, but I need fellowship, and this summer that's something God's put on my heart, "come back home" the chruch is my family. So, thanks for reading don't have to say anything or youcan say everything, ill reply. Give me some biblical problem ill tear into it. I love studying. Ask my opinions on music or anything I love speaking my mind because it come so easy, that's something God's given me, the ability to speak his word to crowds. Anyhow this is the end of my elongated pointless speech that will pass of pass of as jargon to most who fail to comprehend my use of lexicon... I like etymology and latin. Ask my opion on words, anything. Because everyone who asks how I feel about something, after I say how I feel, they veiw me totally different... and no one ever can figure me out... because God's in me and we can never figure him out...

 

[FireHeart]

Well my friend i would like to tell you that i dont understand your way of speaking fully and thats just because of me. but I can assure there is nothing wrong with being different in fact it makes you original and I have always liked originality. But you arent alone i can promise that because not only is jesus sitting right next to you but you have us too

 

[bananertanner]

I'm sorry, excuse me, I don't understand what you were seeking by posting in this forum. I am in no way trying to be mean, I am just trying to understand you, and what you were hoping to accomplish by posting this! If you are looking for friendships, I am always here! lol. Welcome to CC by the way!!

Xo

 

[Mybrokenlessthenthree]

I hadn't been here that long so, my mistake...

 

[Oreobarbie]

Hmm... I think I sort of understamd what you mean. Basically, that you'd like a conversation with someone. Coversations are hard for you because people have different objectives than you? Is that what you mean? I can understand that. The only thing I'm confused about is the death thing. Could you explain it a little more please? Sorry if I'm assumptious. I try to figure everything out but I'm not always correct. Anyways, Hi. How are you?

 

[Channa]

[video=youtube;-8bYgVEfAUo]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8bYgVEfAUo[/video]

 

[Xioneks]

I may understand your situation. Having basically very little or no emotion can be good or bad depending on the perspective & situation. & death is something very fascinating, especially in the philosophy revolving around it. Life cannot be defined without death. They are two sides of the same coin. It takes 9 month to 'create' a life form, excluding the pain & labor, but it can be taken away in a split second, anytime & anywhere.

What you are experiencing is 'controversially' puberty. Like a smack to the face, mental-wise. One notice & learn more things, cognitive ability soar into new heights, mocking the former state of which was barely the surface of one's potential & learning more about the deep unfathomable depths of our hearts, which only God knows what lurks in the darkness of them.

It's not easy being an 'absorber' of pain. In a way, one may be silence in sight & gestures, but the mind screams in agony, trying to grasp the pain & wrapping its reach around it, but it itself was pain in itself, a greater one of what it tries to overcome. But one got used to it, whether physical or mental, the signs are absent in existence. Like a duck on water, moving calmly across the water, but underneath the surface, paddling like crazy.

The perspective of the individual differs greatly from conventional thinking. Normal thinking labels something as weird, for instance, entomophagy, the consumption of insects. Conventional thinking judge it as gross or dirty, but one of this 'different' thinking may label it as 'economical' as it takes less resources & land, but produces more protein & nutrients than beef.

This people are rare & very 'different' in nature. Mybrokenlessthanthree, you are not alone.

 

[Riv]

Hey brother!

people who avoid a social life can often fall into apathy and If you feel emotionless thats not a good thing, building strong relationships can help you come out of an apathetic mindset and also giving more focus and more time into your relationship with god through prayer and worship because god can free you of this.

Im glad god has directed you to making friends and to commune with other christians and I hope god guides the right people into your life. god bless, Riv

 

[Seriously]

Yes ! I know exactly what you mean - well, not exactly - everyone is different. But hang in there - I was pretty near that about 10 years ago. Things change with time- let the Spirit lead and He will take you through some amazing adventures.