My name is Nathan Smith. I'm 18 years old. I let Christ into my heart four years ago. I had a very devastating stroke in the left side of my brain at birth which left me dead for about half an hour. I could have been paralyzed or mentally handicapped, but I am neither of the two. However, the stroke damaged my potential processing ability, meaning that the average time it takes a person to understand and take in info, my brain takes that info in at a slower pace. I have a younger sibling two years younger. She never had a stroke as an infant. I currently live in a small town in Texas. I don't have many extracurriculars or significant roles in anything currently. I'm currently a Senior in high school. I have a dream to spread the light of Jesus and helping and encouraging people who are without Christ or anybody just going through any everyday trials, and to serve as a willing and valiant servant in the military. I came here because I just want someone I can talk to about a few things. There have been many times in my life that I have just felt a sense of insignificance. My sibling is a Junior in high school. She does just about everything there is to do in high school. Student council. Band. Sports. Friends. You name it. She is an honors student and makes As on almost everything. I go to school and try to make the best I can out of it, coping with my processing speed. I pay close attention to my instructor, do my assignments and try to receive as much help as I can. I come home, and the first thing I do is crack open that homework or that review. I don't go to my new band trip, go out with my buddies or any other fun activities and privileges that my sister has. When I get home, it's down to the grind. When my sister comes home, she'll grab a snack, text her friend(s) for about 30 minutes, finish her homework in about 20 minutes or so, and it's off to other activities. But me, due to my given processing, will be in my bedroom working my butt off in hopes that I will at LEAST be able to pass or get a solid B. Now, I know they say to never compare yourself to other people. But sometimes, when you look around and see so many people who achieve and excel in everything and enjoy the freedom and fun of everyday life. It's discouraging when you work so much harder or just as hard as others around you, and you try and you try and you try, but it just never seems to be good enough! To tell you the truth, it's not that I want to be as GOOD as other people around me. It's not selfish ambition or envy. It's that I am afraid. Afraid of how these outcomes will determine my future as a man. With the scores I make in school to how they will affect me in the long run in career opportunities and my home/financial stability for me and my family (if I have one). I have never done anything great or specifically excellent in life. I go to school, come home, do my work, try to talk to anyone around, eat, and sleep. I don't feel like I have any form significance or excellence. That is why my dreams are so big. I feel bound to the limitations of just being an average and negligible habitant. I want to be somebody. Somebody that has true significance and worth. I want to make my life count.
