I messed up really bad

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Oreobarbie

Guest
#21
#21
Honestly, I know you're hurting but I think she was just trying to find an excuse to break it off. She should at least forgive you because you have repented. As a christian she knows better. And she seems like she was trying to test your jealousy. But you shouldn't be so obsessive because calling her parents and her friends makes it seem like you're trying to control her as if she can't make up her mind. I believe you should let it go because if she is that unforgiving over this one issue than it seems like she's never gonna be happy with a man because if he turns out to be human and makes a mistake she'll dump him quicker than a bucket full of cold water in the middle of july. Stay strong. You'll find a new girl. :)
 
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6ftmiracle

Guest
#22
#22
I apreciate your reply I really do so thank you but we argue all the time. We've been arguing for months and she's never left it's just this one situation. I just found out just a second ago that she was completely honest .....I do think she is being unforgiving but idk if it's meant to be it will happen
 
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6ftmiracle

Guest
#23
#23
I just wanna know if possible that if I relax and not be controlling and insecure and if she works on her temper that can this be fixed and restored?
 
PopClick

PopClick

Senior Member
#24
Aug 12, 2011
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136
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#24
6ftmiracle said:
I just wanna know if possible that if I relax and not be controlling and insecure and if she works on her temper that can this be fixed and restored?
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Those things ought to happen whether this can be fixed or not. :)

And yes, it can be fixed, but I'm not sure that it should be. I could be very wrong here, but I get the impression that you are rather young? And that she's your first girl? Maybe you meant she was the only girl you had talked to while you were in a relationship with her. But if she is your first relationship, and you plan to marry the first girl you're in a relationship with, do you really know what you're looking for? Or how well you get along with other girls and other personality types? And what your long-term plans for life are?

Regardless, I do wish you the best. I will pray for your peace of mind, and also that you learn everything possible from this... because that's the only way I can get any good out of my own mistakes. :)
 
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6ftmiracle

Guest
#25
#25
Thank you so much
 
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Tintin

Guest
#26
#26
PopClick said:
Those things ought to happen whether this can be fixed or not. :)

And yes, it can be fixed, but I'm not sure that it should be. I could be very wrong here, but I get the impression that you are rather young? And that she's your first girl? Maybe you meant she was the only girl you had talked to while you were in a relationship with her. But if she is your first relationship, and you plan to marry the first girl you're in a relationship with, do you really know what you're looking for? Or how well you get along with other girls and other personality types? And what your long-term plans for life are?

Regardless, I do wish you the best. I will pray for your peace of mind, and also that you learn everything possible from this... because that's the only way I can get any good out of my own mistakes. :)
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Hmmm... I think that could work but it has to be prayerfully considered.
 
PopClick

PopClick

Senior Member
#27
Aug 12, 2011
4,056
136
63
#27
Tintin said:
Hmmm... I think that could work but it has to be prayerfully considered.
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Haha, I know, Tinners. In you case, I'm rather hoping that things DO work out that way. ;) But I was noticing a few things in 6ft's posts that gave me pause, and I was hoping to just give him a few more things to think and pray about, and maybe see things from a different perspective if that would help.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#28
#28
PopClick said:
Haha, I know, Tinners. In you case, I'm rather hoping that things DO work out that way. ;) But I was noticing a few things in 6ft's posts that gave me pause, and I was hoping to just give him a few more things to think and pray about, and maybe see things from a different perspective if that would help.
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Thanks, Pop. I agree. Cheers, my dear sister.
 
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6ftmiracle

Guest
#29
#29
Thank you so much I dearly appreciate it
 
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Susanna

Guest
#30
#30
6ftmiracle said:
This is 6ft Susanna you sound very vengeful right now. You sound cold hearted. Yes I was dishonest one time with my ex girlfriend and yes I was wrong for that. The drive to go and she her is 18 hours. When she is in a bad mood her story changes. She asked me all kinda of questions about unfaithfulness and what would I do if she was unfaithful. Yes I did worry yes I get very jealous over someone I cared about yes my ex being mad and you being mad at me is very understandable and not to seperate. Yes she was honest with me the whole time and yes I did punish her with my insecurities and I was wrong. I made a mistake and yes I agree with you she should be frustrated with me especially since she didn't do anything wrong. But for you to sit here and say you would make me suffer??? The person she wanted to spend her life with, her everything that's too much. That comment shows me what kind of heart you have. And no I did not say anything offensive to her I was very respectful and friendly. Nothing disrespectful. It made her angry that I didn't trust her. That can be hard to do when somebodies story changes a lot. Susanna I think you can be a little more understanding of why I did what I did. And no I would get mad at her and leave her. It's the woman I love I wouldn't leave her for anything, I'd talk this situation out with her and be honest and assure her that I am completely faithful to you, id make her feel as comfortable as possible and continue to be patient with her because she's human and she has feelings I wouldn't dare leave her over anything like this. I made a mistake and I was wrong for that mistake show me a little mercy Susanna
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Lol, you're totally missing out on my point here...what I'm telling you is that you've made a major mistake and you are the one to fix this mess...but if I was her I would be doing some serious testing before I allowed you in my house again, but repenting aint enough, you'll have to spend some time on your knees in the future, so to speak, maybe that'll soften her heart:).
 
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Tintin

Guest
#31
#31
Susanna said:
Lol, you're totally missing out on my point here...what I'm telling you is that you've made a major mistake and you are the one to fix this mess...but if I was her I would be doing some serious testing before I allowed you in my house again, but repenting aint enough, you'll have to spend some time on your knees in the future, so to speak, maybe that'll soften her heart:).
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It's also important to see her red flags. 6ft stuffed up, but his girl/woman wasn't completely in the right either.
 
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Susanna

Guest
#32
#32
Tintin said:
It's also important to see her red flags. 6ft stuffed up, but his girl/woman wasn't completely in the right either.
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Yeah...well...I might have been talking/judging before thinking again...when will I ever learn...
 
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Brighthouse

Guest
#33
#33
LOL Tintin It is the thought that counts!! LOl as long as she looks to give me aid, that is cool!! Here is the thing,if she just sits there looking at her nails or something,life is all about her,that is when my pager goes off,I open the door for her to step out,and say so long! Wisdom is not only done in words only, but in deeds as well hehe.
 
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6ftmiracle

Guest
#34
#34
Susanna nobody is mad at you but don't be bitter towards the situation. Yes I was dishonest because of my jealousy, I was afraid to trust, and yes I was dishonest. I was wrong but in 5 years I only made one mistake with this girl that's what I'm saying. I was super super good to her and I can show you. I don't think you should wanna make me suffer after just one screw up. Now if I make the same mistake over and over then yes that's understandable but not one mistake because everybody slips and everybody falls somewhere in life........Susanna your fine but please show me a little mercy
 
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Brighthouse

Guest
#35
#35
Brother6ftmiracle Do not become a john doormat!( 1 cor 16:13-14) A man lead his woman,he does not beg her for mercy! A woman wants you to submit to her,you do that and get ready for a dress bro! We brother have purpose,we are men,not women,so we have self control and are not lead by our feeling and emotion any longer.( i know this takes time bro!! LOL )

We are to love our woman like Jesus loves the Church,and who is the head of that church bro?? You guessed correct!! Jesus in us is! There are no rings in my nose bro, and I would strongly advise you do not get one either! This I say to you brother not as a command,but something to consider,many women out there may get a bit upset,but what a woman really needs in most cases,is security!

They need to know there man is strong,but kind,wisdom,tempered in love,guided by Holy Spirit and to lead her, not pull her, but lead by example to where you wish to go! Do this,and your woman will follow,do it not,and she will look to make the rules,and you will be unhappy! And so will she!

For a woman is never to be a man's security!! EVER! A man is a woman's security! They will test you often,so we men must stay in the word,so the Lord continues to always give us an answer to any question she brings up!( Col 4:6!) A Godly woman is truly a blessing,hence why the great testing on both sides!
 
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6ftmiracle

Guest
#36
#36
Thank you so much thank you everybody for being so understanding and supportive.
 
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HLR

Guest
#37
#37
You messed up and you're admitting you messed up. That's progress. As you have already been told, and as you realize, if it's meant to be it's going to be. I know that's cliche but its used enough to become a cliche for a reason. Continue to pray over this situation, seek God. He will lead you. Don't allow this bad situation to weigh you down and pull you away from your relationship with Jesus.

You cannot undo what you have done. I'm not going to harp on you're being wrong though; because I think she was wrong too. Planting doubt in a relationship is something you never want to do. And it's especially troubling in a long distance relationship.

All you can do is continue to improve your relationship with God; and by doing so you as a person will continue to grow and become more Christ-like which is what we should all strive to be. As you're improving and becoming better; hopefully, she'll either find her way back to you OR you'll find someone out there. While I am madly in love with a woman right now, and she's the person I see myself marrying, I'm not of the opinion there's only one person in the world for each of us. So don't give up! There's nothing biblical that I'm aware to back the "one person for me" statement. A relationship is a lot of "work" if you're in love, it doesn't seem like work, though, and that's the key. There's a lot of 'give and take' in relationship, there has to be a lot of trust.

I've said all I've said to basically say: Be in prayer. Continue to grow. Continue to work on who you are and your relationship with Jesus Christ. You will get this worked out. Don't dwell on things you cannot change; and forgive yourself. We always talk about forgiveness and forgiving others as Christians, and that's very important, but its equally important that we forgive ourselves. Because even if she comes back to you tomorrow if you have not totally forgiven yourself you won't ever be able to get over this issue even if she has truly forgiven you.
 
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6ftmiracle

Guest
#38
#38
Yes I was dishonest only because I was afraid. I don't think it's normal or I've never heard anybody ask there bf or gf what would you do if I cheated on you. She can be very distant at times also and it would make me wonder.....that's why I did it. Yes I was dishonest but I was more afraid than anything. I was still wrong but yes if it's meant to be it will happen so thank you so much
 
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6ftmiracle

Guest
#39
#39
I'm a good guy, I'm a great guy that's why we've been together so long because I've always been a really nice guy I'm god fearing, honest, sweet and kind and that's what she was so attracted too. This is why I'm asking for forgiveness because this is the only mistake I've made with her in the five years I've known her......I didn't know what to think honestly I've only lied to her one time and this is it but I feel like I was stuck but like you said if it's meant to be then she will come home
 
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6ftmiracle

Guest
#40
#40
I was wrong. My intentions wasn't to get a big commotion started I just needed to know was she being dishonest I didn't mean for all of this to happen. I tried to go to her entire family an apologize but nobody in there family will forgive me none of them and there a Christian family. I never get into any trouble this was a one time situation. And I mean I never get in trouble it was one mistake but her, her friends, or her family didn't show me any mercy, I tried to apologize to her family and didn't accept my apology. I tried to apologize to her friends and they either ignored me or cussed me out......I feel like I'm not being shown any mercy and it was one mistake I never get in any trouble ever which is why I'm wondering I'm not being shown any mercy. Her dad cheated on her mom 3 times, her whole family talks bad about the girl all the time, and she has insecurities, mood swings, a temper, she's stressed and depressed, she has anxiety but everytime we speak I always tried my best to make everything better she would tell me all the time how I was the most amazing guy, that she was crazy in love with me, that I was her soulmate, that nobody compared to me, she said I was irreplaceable that's how good I was to her how does all of this dissapear in the blink of an eye.....talk to me please .
 
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