constant struggle in faith -long post, grab some popcorn-

[Ryku]

No, it's not the struggle of not believing that's not my problem. I know Jesus is my Lord o God but its understanding and following I struggle with. I'm in a place God wants me, but I'm not happy, but I know why I'm where I am-I'm needed.

People say you have to suffer for God, and I only half know what this means, but not fully. But the part I think I understand is that in is life you will suffer greatly and its God testing you seeing if your faith wavers.

And then I hear it said if you don't suffer (or suffer enough) then God is not with you because he has no need to test you because you are not his. And its this part that worries me. For you see, most of my life I have been, what I feel is, protected-overly so! or a better word I guess I could use is 'sheltered'. When bad things could or 'should' happen to me, they don;t yet to another believer more worthy then I gets the pain I should have had. -and just so were clear- what I mean is, if I was to walk across a busy street without a cross walk I would make it to the other end just fine-yet other person more worthy then me crosses the very same street, they are hit, they live-but not without some broken bones.

This is just my dumb extreme example of what I"m talking about-chances are if I did that for real I would be hit and not live. lol

But back to my point of this-whatever I'm typing-my struggle goes deeper-

People see me get to know me they call me sweet kind, ect....but I know its not true. I listen to rap music, I LOVE hard rock and metal just as much as I love Jazz and Christian music. I'm ok with gays, no I don't think its 'right' but I would never 'not support' them ( if I knew them other wise-well then I have no need, I'm not signing any 'I support' papers, nor protesting) the place God has put me right now is to take care of a lady who is in fact-well, you can put the puzzle together. She has been through hell and back, and she is a much better person then I am, yet....anyways, I'm starting to get off topic.

I struggle with myself, what I like-what makes me happy. (and I'm almost always happy) another thing I don't get seeing as-well I'm not worthy of such a gift. Also the reason I'm writing this is because I read this 4 Teachings of Jesus That His Followers (Almost) Never Take Seriously

 

[kenthomas27]

The way I'm understanding your post is that you're concerned that some of the things you like to do are things that you might not consider Godly or something a Christian should like? Also you feel as though you have not suffered they way you should? You feel as though a Christian should suffer many trials and tribulations in order to achieve God's Grace? Do you think suffering is a kind of hallmark of Christianity? Like we should have our pain stamped like a tattoo on our skin?

I think you're going to find good company with fellow Christians who love rap or jazz or metal of just about any genre and many Christians who love the immortal soul of thieves or liars or all sinners who walk this earth, gays included. I also believe you are right when you say you are not worthy of this gift of Grace we have received.

I read the article from Huffington Post and found at least one glaring deficiency. You and I were born with a sin nature. It's quite natural for us to rebel again God and is our inclination. God understood this and by His Mercy you know how He solved this problem. It was by the Blood of His Only Son. When you accept this Mercy from God, you are in effect giving your life to Him and by doing so, you come to realize that this Grace BEGATS works. In other words, our inclination to rebel has been replaced by our inclination to do God's will. So it's not BECAUSE of works that we are saved, but rather because of God's Grace. God's Grace - His Mercy - is the founder of Christianity and the thing that inspires good works.

There will be a time for your pain. Your tribulation is likely at hand. It is for all of us. I think God prepares us for this to some degree and I think we test ourselves much more than God does. God loves you like the Bride of Christ you are. He knows this world is lost and knows your trials will be great. It is a natural occurrence, so don't consider yourself immune. Instead, revel in the fact you are one of His.

One other thing - and I'm just going to say it. Yes - there are people who are better than other people. There are people better than me and frankly, I'm a better person than a lot of others. I don't even know who was the best person. Gandhi? He was so Christian, he was Hindu (yes I listened to the video). Just remember .... This Grace, the Mercy we have been given was given freely.

 

[Ryku]

Thank you Ken for your reply. It has significantly made me feel better.

and your right, my day of trials and tribulations is coming....or came already maybe....but then maybe that was to only bring me to God (which is did) when I was younger I had lost my mom and dad, (fyi, they didn't die or anything, they just walked out on me giving me up to my grandmother) but anyways, yes ^^ your post has made me feel better. I guess I just feel this way because the place I'm at right now--the lady I care for--she just can't get a break. she is hit over and over again with so much, just seems unfair to me I guess.

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

I struggle with myself

Likewise. I am planning on a cross country road trip in the somewhat near future, Ryku. We should backpack around the U.S and endure hardship and build character, together!

I believe we are blessed seemingly disproportionately for a reason; to take our circumstances and use them to better ourselves and, potentially, to make better the lives of others. Ideally, we do so for God's glory. But some take circumstances, good or bad, and make the worst of them. What we do with the time given to us is up to us.

 

[Fubario]

tribulations and what not, do you know what you are asking for? It hits hard and it bites.