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Hello All my Brothers and Sisters in Christ! My name is Becky. I've had this struggle for 37 years now. And every time I try to tell myself I'm going to stop. I find myself running around the same bush over and over again. It's hard to admit I'm weak in certain areas, because I'm always known as the strong person in my family. Every time I tried to allow people to get to know me outside of my Spiritual beliefs and wisdom. It's seems to cause a reaction of separation. I take it so hard that I isolated myself from everyone...Because I have the gift of encouragement which only Jesus can provide through me. They paint a picture of me in their own minds of who I am before really getting to know me. The Holy Spirit living inside me is perfect, but I'm not. So what they are really drawn to is the Jesus in me....not the "Human Becky"....Who has her own personality, struggles, style, taste, humor. ..etc. What hurts the most is when I show that side of me it's like they no longer speak to me. They made me feel as though they genuinely cared for me. But, the more I revealed who I am outside of Jesus...I got rejected everytime. Which has caused me to be fearful of expressing who Becky is to anyone....Because so many made me feel so worthless with each rejection. As long as I'm speaking scriptures and spiritual encouraging words of wisdom to them, I'm good enough to speak too...But, outside side of that...they leave me out in the cold as if I don't matter. I'm not trying to compete with Jesus...I'm just tired of having to hide the real side of me too get people to friend me or want to even speak to me...
If anyone can give me their insight I'm open to read it....Maybe theirs something I'm missing...
If anyone can give me their insight I'm open to read it....Maybe theirs something I'm missing...