Dating advice. He's more into me than im into him.

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Louise31

Guest
#1
#1
(I don't know what forum would be the best for this question. So sorry if it's not in the right place.)

Im looking for some advice.

So ive recently found myself in a relationship with a christian guy. We've been friends for over a year now and he asked me out a couple of days ago and I said yes :)
He started showing a lot more interest in me over the last month or so and I actually had a friend encourage me to think about how I felt about him because of this. She put the question to me of what would you say to him if he asked you out tomorrow and I couldn't answer that question. So I have given it a lot of thought and prayer as to whether he was, based on a biblical standard, someone I could consider for marriage (as I feel dating should be with marriage in mind). The answer I came out with after much consideration and prayer and realigning my heart with Gods was yes. But the problem is that it did take a lot of prayer and consideration. In talking to him over the last couple of days and doing the 'how long have you liked me' conversation, it's become clear to me that he has liked me for a lot longer (between 4-6 months) than I have been thinking of him like that for (about 3weeks). And also that he is a lot more sure of how he feels about me (i.e. that he likes me) than I am about him. That is not to say that I don't like him, because I do it's just taken me a lot longer to get here and it seems like a lot more of a choice that I've made to put effort into likening him because he is a godly man that would be a great boyfriend/husband/father from what I know of him.

I guess the main question is that I don't know how honest I should be with him now (3-4 days into our relationship) about how hard a process it's been for me to get to the point where I could say yes to him. Especially because it doesnt seem like he's had the same problem. And if nows not the time how long till I tell him?
 
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Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
Why should it matter? If you're together now what difference does it make how long it took either ofyou. If yu're together now why not focus on now?
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#3
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
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#3
A few days into a relationship is not the time to have a I'm not sure how much I like you conversation. You've decided to pursue this relationship; it doesn't matter too much how you got there. I'd say wait until it comes up naturally or other factors (i.e. you feel like he's trying to move things along to fast, or he thinks you seem cold or emotionally distant and asks you about it) necessitate such a discussion. Focus your energies on how you want this relationship to function so that you can both make a wise decision about whether you will be a good match for each other, rather than just generally having some qualities that would make you a good match for someone in general.

Much better to pick a guy with solid character and let feelings develop from spending time together than to start with feelings and hope character develops. You've done wisely and I hope this works out well for both of you.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#4
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#4
The title of this thread should give you your answer. HE is more into you than YOU are into him. With that said, if you don't feel the same way, then why on earth did you say yes to going out with him? You're just leading him on by letting him think that you're just as hot for him as he is for you. I would speak up and talk to him NOW..
 
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Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#5
#5
Whether you tell him sooner or later, it doesn't seem you're doing anything wrong either way by being upfront with it. Since you're apparently not comfortable with it, though, maybe you should hold off until you feel more secure about bringing it up.

As far as his place in this, I find that if you spent time praying and reflecting on whether he was good for you or not─and you did arrive at the conclusion that he is, it seems─then as long as your judgement was accurate, he should be mature enough to take it. He may even appreciate it, since it says a little something of your character and diligence in pursuing God first in this.
 
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twamps21

Guest
#6
#6
I would put your self in his shoes. Would you want someone to continue seeing you if they weren't that into you. If he really is a great guy like you described him to be he should understand. Maybe you two could be friends, and if you do end up developing feelings for him take it from there.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#7
#7
At first I was a bit confused. I know a girl around your age who goes to my church and is also called Louise. She really liked me for a time (I didn't feel anything for her, beyond friendship). And to top it off, she's also an Aussie. Way to confuse me, my sister!
 
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