move or dont move? i need help.

ok so i recently got engaged to my boyfriend of 3 years. we are both pretty young...20 and 23. my boyfriend has never had a real relationship with God because his parents never really have either. I began taking him to church with me and he LOVES it!! This made me so happy because i want our future children to have a relationship with God as well and want them to grow up with good Christian parents and good values. i currently live with my widowed and disabled father and 18 year old sister. right now my dad and sister cant afford the house we are in unless i am here to help with the bills.... my fiance's mother approached my fiance with the idea of moving in together BEFORE we get married. Our plan was to get married next summer and she wants us to move in together THIS summer. Besides the fact that I am not comfortable with this because of my faith, my father and sister would have to move out of our house as well and find some place cheaper. i would worry about them. I told my fiance that this wasnt our plan!! He told his mother and she says that waiting to move in till marriage isnt realistic and that lots of couples move in together before they are married. She said because we are such babies we need to go at this little by little because marriage and moving in with each other are both big steps so we should do it one thing at a time. She has my fiance all excited about this and he beleives that she has great points and that we should move in together... what should i do????

[ty]

well i aint never had to walk in your shoes but biblically i would not suggest it

Just go to the court house, get a marriage license (it wont take too long), then move in together. After that you can have the wedding whenever you want like next summer.

[oopsies]

Originally Posted by Walt

Just go to the court house, get a marriage license (it wont take too long), then move in together. After that you can have the wedding whenever you want like next summer.

But a marriage isn't a piece of paper from the government - it is a commitment made before God.

[oopsies]

Originally Posted by ladyofthewoods32

ok so i recently got engaged to my boyfriend of 3 years. we are both pretty young...20 and 23. my boyfriend has never had a real relationship with God because his parents never really have either. I began taking him to church with me and he LOVES it!! This made me so happy because i want our future children to have a relationship with God as well and want them to grow up with good Christian parents and good values. i currently live with my widowed and disabled father and 18 year old sister. right now my dad and sister cant afford the house we are in unless i am here to help with the bills.... my fiance's mother approached my fiance with the idea of moving in together BEFORE we get married. Our plan was to get married next summer and she wants us to move in together THIS summer. Besides the fact that I am not comfortable with this because of my faith, my father and sister would have to move out of our house as well and find some place cheaper. i would worry about them. I told my fiance that this wasnt our plan!! He told his mother and she says that waiting to move in till marriage isnt realistic and that lots of couples move in together before they are married. She said because we are such babies we need to go at this little by little because marriage and moving in with each other are both big steps so we should do it one thing at a time. She has my fiance all excited about this and he beleives that she has great points and that we should move in together... what should i do????

You are currently unequally yoked. Unless your boyfriend/fiance is a Christian, more likely that not, you will encounter differences in beliefs during your relationship and if you have children, boy will that be hard on you. Here's a little rhyme to help you:

Don't marry to convert
cause it just doesn't work.

Edit: and by the way, don't use divorce as a backup plan. That also doesn't work because of the (surprise!) emotional pain involved.

[daddycat]

Three concerns:

1) Your fiance is not a Christian. He may be moving in that direction, but if he gets saved to make you happy that is the wrong motivation. The Bible tells us not to be unequally yoked. And as the previous post said, don't marry to convert. If you can't see being married to him just the way he is now "till death us do part" then you shouldn't get married. There are no guarantees he will ever change.

2) It would be next to impossible to live together without being sexually intimate. In fact, I'm sure that's what your fiance's mom is suggesting. Sex before marriage is contrary to the Bible. So don't do it.

3) Financially, your family needs you right now. Moving out will put them in a bind. Of course, if you do get married you will be moving out then, but that gives your father and sister time to make some plans.

All of that points toward not moving in together. Don't let yourself be pressured into doing something unwise and contrary to your beliefs.

thank you so much for everyone's advice! We both agreed on not moving together until marriage. Now for dealing with his mother... she's bitter about our decision for some reason. i'm going to try to get to the bottom of this. i find it quite strange.

[oopsies]

she wants you committed to her son that's why. mothers are like that lol just ignore it