Confusing Guy..

It's a really long story, so I'll just break it down.

-I was in an abusive relationship for the past two years with a guy named Alex. I went out with him in the first place because I felt as if God was calling me to go to him. I was partying, taking drugs, drinking, and having one night stands.

-Alex sobered me up and convinced me to be a "good girl". The thing is, we had sex. After a while, I wanted to commit myself to the Lord and do my best to please him. I told Alex I didn't want to have sex anymore, this is when he started getting mad and telling me its B.S. that I'm a Christian and I'm probably just cheating on him.

-In the mean while, I still keep in touch with another ex boyfriend, Aaron. For some reason, even though I love my boyfriend, I can't just push him away. Even though Alex tells me he's going to cut off my hair and beat me up, I still talk to Aaron once in a while behind his back.

-After verbal/physical abuse of 2 years, I leave Alex.

-Aaron and I start dating. We had an intense relationship 3 years ago...it ended badly. We started getting a little closer and he told me how he's so sorry for the way he treated me and he's happy that he can even talk to me. He told me how beautiful I am and just talking about my eyes and saying how he never should have treated me like that. He told me I'm the only girl that actually truely cares about him besides his family (which is kind of true. He's really rich so a lot of girls just use him)

-He's been tied up in partying and drugs, but is trying hard to stop. He's been going to church and praying for the past couple of months. He tells me he wants to be with me, but he doesn't want people to think bad of me because I switch relationships so fast. He also said he wants to settle down soon so he wants to be sure he has the right woman. The thing is, he still wants to do things with me like kiss me and he loves to hug me and cuddle me.


I don't know what to think.
I need advice from people who have a lot of wisdom in this area. I know the answer might be right in front of me...
I think I'm like in love with this guy. Usually I just date multiple guys at once...but I'm not even attracted to any other guys.
His parents and friends refer to me as his girl and they really like me. So I don't see what the problem.
I reaaaallly like him too. It's just that it feels wrong doing things outside of a relationship. I admit, labels are childish. I don't mind what people think of me in some cases, but being called a slut is not right.

I don't know what to do. This guy also has high expectations. Like he wants his girlfriend to have a job so she can eventually move in with him if things get really serious as he wants to settle down. We're both Christians, but we're not perfect. We try though.

I've been praying to God, but I always feel as though I get mixed signals--or I'm just not sure what to do. I need to see other peoples opinions.

Well, idk. The only thing that sticks out to me is the fact you said, you think you love him. The one God has intended for us we are going to absolutely love and adore, if you aren't head over heels for him whats the point? Ya know? Am i making sense? I mean don't you want someone who will be there with you when you grow old and retire? idk just a thought

Originally Posted by Love009

Well, idk. The only thing that sticks out to me is the fact you said, you think you love him. The one God has intended for us we are going to absolutely love and adore, if you aren't head over heels for him whats the point? Ya know? Am i making sense? I mean don't you want someone who will be there with you when you grow old and retire? idk just a thought

yes I want someone to grow old with... possibly still think i'm gorgeous despite all the characteristics of old age-- wrinkly skin and ....yeah.

The thing is, I want to settle down too, as he does.

Everyone from his side loves me and they want to see us together. Only one of my few friends support me on this. My parents don't really like him because what he's done to me in the past. He's done some really messed up things and he's far from perfect now, but I'm always there for him, I stick up for him, and thats one of the qualities he likes about me. No other girl has ever given him what I give him.

I guess what I'm really asking for is prayer.
I really do want more, I can actually picture us staying together for a LONG time, since we're very compatible.

He really does put a smile on my face when I think about him.


Yeah... I know this is just thinking in writing.
But it would be nice if I could get some prayer. If he's the one for me, I don't want to mess this up.

Ok, I will be praying God bless

[ty]

ok first of all welcome to cc
second since both of yall r christian and if u see a true change in his heart and u truly love him marry him

i believe everyone deserves a second chance because everyone can change..ive had expierences kinda like yours a few years back and things are great for me now..just go with your heart

[zavok]

you shouldnt care what people think of you let them whine all i can say is depending on how he hurt you the first you should give him a second chance i assuming hes your age or around there if he had an affair you could argue the we are young and make stupid mistakes and dont take life seriously but if threaten you abused you etc i wouldnt

[PRAIASEmyGOD]

first off stop all of this multiple guy dating, its not right, and second if you want to e with Aaron do it! get your life on track first no more drugs and partying like a drunkard, just live life through christ, and dont have any more sex tell marriage that is what kills a realationship, in the song of songs i suggest your read the first 8 chapters good few chapters, king soloman meats this girl, they talk about wanting a DESIRE, but they never do tell marraige this desire never breaks, this desire is what people call puppy love, but after this desire of lets say sex or kssing goes on.. whats left but to date another person, date aaron after you get your life on track, then say sober and no more pre marital sex! GOD BLESS

Awww thanks a lot everyone(:
Sometimes I feel as though I need encouragement because my almost all my family isn't very strong with the Lord and they do judge this guy from three years ago and that's all their minds are on..


And I shall read that when I get home.