OK so I'm feeling slightly vulnerable writing about this on here as I know quite a few people on here and haven't really poured my heart out about this to anyone but I'm in a huge dilemma which has literally never made me feel so 'in the middle' in my life, ever.
To cut a long story short, I'm currently in love with a wonderful guy who has made me happy for the past eleven months. He is committed, loving, mature, attractive and we'll...I'm sure you guys all know what its like to be in love.
However, since we got together, we have had many, many, many disagreements and small bickery fights. These last a half hour at most and barely even revolve around serious stuff such as cheating, drinking or drugs etc...he does none of these things and barely talks to anyone but me. I too dropped some of my friends to show my commitment toward him. But gradually we have gone downhill. And fast. Around the sixth month of us we realised we weren't compromising as much I.e.-if I wanted to go out to town, he'd stay at home and complain how he hated going out for long walks...so we tried just 'doing our own thing'. It worked for a while but I became very, very clingy and was at his place for weeks at a time(we are studying at the same university) and we'll, summer has been the testing phase.
We have had a good summer spending ALOT of time together but 95% has been us arguing in the shop or in my house...about the stupidest things. I know I have my bad points but he admits he gets stressed with the littlest thing and its been getting that bad that it puts me off him so bad. He will switch his attitude when he feels better and apologise and say it won't happen again, but it does. Along with that, we are still so so different and though weve talked about marriage and what will happen after graduation(we plan to live together with three other people this October) I see a very bleak future.
I was very close to breaking up with him one week ago when he humiliated me in the middle of the supermarket calling me 'patronising' because I offered to pay for our groceries due to his current financial situation but he promised me he would change. Then just two nights ago we got into another tedious misunderstanding which left him calling me two very bad names. In heinzsight I should've finished it there and then but my brother was in the same area of the house and the whole thing was once again, beyond humiliating. And so I spoke to him yesterday morning, about how I felt breaking up would benefit us both in many ways but he had a breakdown. Properly. He wasn't mean, just deeply, deeply traumatised by the sound of us finishing after nearly one year. This didn't help my situation but I stood strong, explaining how sick I was of catering to his moods and so, before I finalised it, he went on telling me I deserved better(whilst still in tears) then went to list off the 2000 good times we had, and what he wanted for us, and how he promised, no matter what, he would change for good.
Seeing him like that swayed me, and, I have seen him change ALOT in the past few months and shamefully, I still feel the same for him as I did when we met one year ago. I agreed to take his chance and now I won't see him for another three weeks.
He has returned home to his family(4 hours away) and my parents have suggested we don't text 24\7 so I can think. The thought of fully finishing things makes me feel petrified as he has been my muse for this long. On the other hand, I know if he doesn't change I'm in for a miserable future. I'm basically in love, but I wanna cut him off. Please please help
Ps- sorry I wasted a half hour of yours haha
To cut a long story short, I'm currently in love with a wonderful guy who has made me happy for the past eleven months. He is committed, loving, mature, attractive and we'll...I'm sure you guys all know what its like to be in love.
However, since we got together, we have had many, many, many disagreements and small bickery fights. These last a half hour at most and barely even revolve around serious stuff such as cheating, drinking or drugs etc...he does none of these things and barely talks to anyone but me. I too dropped some of my friends to show my commitment toward him. But gradually we have gone downhill. And fast. Around the sixth month of us we realised we weren't compromising as much I.e.-if I wanted to go out to town, he'd stay at home and complain how he hated going out for long walks...so we tried just 'doing our own thing'. It worked for a while but I became very, very clingy and was at his place for weeks at a time(we are studying at the same university) and we'll, summer has been the testing phase.
We have had a good summer spending ALOT of time together but 95% has been us arguing in the shop or in my house...about the stupidest things. I know I have my bad points but he admits he gets stressed with the littlest thing and its been getting that bad that it puts me off him so bad. He will switch his attitude when he feels better and apologise and say it won't happen again, but it does. Along with that, we are still so so different and though weve talked about marriage and what will happen after graduation(we plan to live together with three other people this October) I see a very bleak future.
I was very close to breaking up with him one week ago when he humiliated me in the middle of the supermarket calling me 'patronising' because I offered to pay for our groceries due to his current financial situation but he promised me he would change. Then just two nights ago we got into another tedious misunderstanding which left him calling me two very bad names. In heinzsight I should've finished it there and then but my brother was in the same area of the house and the whole thing was once again, beyond humiliating. And so I spoke to him yesterday morning, about how I felt breaking up would benefit us both in many ways but he had a breakdown. Properly. He wasn't mean, just deeply, deeply traumatised by the sound of us finishing after nearly one year. This didn't help my situation but I stood strong, explaining how sick I was of catering to his moods and so, before I finalised it, he went on telling me I deserved better(whilst still in tears) then went to list off the 2000 good times we had, and what he wanted for us, and how he promised, no matter what, he would change for good.
Seeing him like that swayed me, and, I have seen him change ALOT in the past few months and shamefully, I still feel the same for him as I did when we met one year ago. I agreed to take his chance and now I won't see him for another three weeks.
He has returned home to his family(4 hours away) and my parents have suggested we don't text 24\7 so I can think. The thought of fully finishing things makes me feel petrified as he has been my muse for this long. On the other hand, I know if he doesn't change I'm in for a miserable future. I'm basically in love, but I wanna cut him off. Please please help
Ps- sorry I wasted a half hour of yours haha
