Eccentric

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Funrider

Guest
#1
Closing from our last conversation, it was very apparent...that I lacked some very crucial insight into how to properly live as a Christian man in today's world.

I always had my suspicion...that I was an outsider to society. Even more so, an outsider to groups. I never fit in anywhere, even closed groups who couldn't generally fit in with society. People would tell me that I look like someone who's got things going on, but that there was something off about me.

This infuriated me, and served as the basis for my frustration with God...it made me ask the question "Why am I so different? Why cant I pull together with people?"


I just had an interview for a corporate account manager position...a salaried job that would have allowed me to live on my own. The man I interviewed with went through the process, and as I asked questions...he went off tangent, and asked me directly...

" [Funrider], I have a question. Is there something in this interview you're not telling me?"

...I can sense things from people, and I felt the LORD tugging at me to share my story, so I did.

What I told him wasn't important. It was some life details. I shared who I was.

What WAS imporant, was how he replied:

" [Funrider], you present yourself well, and you aced the interview in terms of answering all the questions properly...but I have to be honest with you...something is off about you...something is weird about how you answered your questions, and moreso, it's also weird that, you present yourself so well, and come across as a successful professional, yet, I look at your resume, and you seem to have had trouble holding down a job for longer than 3-6 months. I cant read you. I dont get it. I want to hire you, but something isn't adding up"

Now, so that you're aware, this "weirdness" he's referring to...I have battled God on this for YEARS on why he made me weird. I never liked it...but anyway, back to the interview...he said that in March, he will have a definite plan on moving forward. He told me to call him if any questions pop up about the job.

I corresponded with family and friends on the matter. Apparently, from family and friends...I seem to be someone who isn't easy to get along with. I tend to be opinionated, and stand strongly on issues even if they're not popular...well, to the point where it affects my ability to get along with others.

From my mentor, I seem to be lacking in emotional maturity and experience. Intellectually, I am a genius. Emotionally, I'm like a child. This isn't good for me, as I am trying to build both a profitable business network, and bring people closer to Christ.


In short, I have been told I am rather eccentric in nature. I am not pleased with that.

I thought God could fix me up, or at least give me wisdom and insight on how to fix it.

The problem I have is...I keep running in circles, losing money, and most scary...losing TIME. I'm 26, yes, but I have a lot of responsibilities I need to own up to, and I CAN...if it werent for my inability to connect with people. This is the one gripe I had.

I dont blame God anymore, but at the same time, what can I expect from the LORD in terms of healing or restoration? I just got done reading Romans, and going through 1 Corinthians. I understand the need to stick close to Jesus, and what I'm called to do, but if I'm operating on faulty machinery, is God not the master mechanic who can fix the problem?



(I intend for this to be a much briefer conversation).
 
B

biblicalsandy

Guest
#2
Closing from our last conversation, it was very apparent...that I lacked some very crucial insight into how to properly live as a Christian man in today's world.

I always had my suspicion...that I was an outsider to society. Even more so, an outsider to groups. I never fit in anywhere, even closed groups who couldn't generally fit in with society. People would tell me that I look like someone who's got things going on, but that there was something off about me.

This infuriated me, and served as the basis for my frustration with God...it made me ask the question "Why am I so different? Why cant I pull together with people?"


I just had an interview for a corporate account manager position...a salaried job that would have allowed me to live on my own. The man I interviewed with went through the process, and as I asked questions...he went off tangent, and asked me directly...

" [Funrider], I have a question. Is there something in this interview you're not telling me?"

...I can sense things from people, and I felt the LORD tugging at me to share my story, so I did.

What I told him wasn't important. It was some life details. I shared who I was.

What WAS imporant, was how he replied:

" [Funrider], you present yourself well, and you aced the interview in terms of answering all the questions properly...but I have to be honest with you...something is off about you...something is weird about how you answered your questions, and moreso, it's also weird that, you present yourself so well, and come across as a successful professional, yet, I look at your resume, and you seem to have had trouble holding down a job for longer than 3-6 months. I cant read you. I dont get it. I want to hire you, but something isn't adding up"

Now, so that you're aware, this "weirdness" he's referring to...I have battled God on this for YEARS on why he made me weird. I never liked it...but anyway, back to the interview...he said that in March, he will have a definite plan on moving forward. He told me to call him if any questions pop up about the job.

I corresponded with family and friends on the matter. Apparently, from family and friends...I seem to be someone who isn't easy to get along with. I tend to be opinionated, and stand strongly on issues even if they're not popular...well, to the point where it affects my ability to get along with others.

From my mentor, I seem to be lacking in emotional maturity and experience. Intellectually, I am a genius. Emotionally, I'm like a child. This isn't good for me, as I am trying to build both a profitable business network, and bring people closer to Christ.


In short, I have been told I am rather eccentric in nature. I am not pleased with that.

I thought God could fix me up, or at least give me wisdom and insight on how to fix it.

The problem I have is...I keep running in circles, losing money, and most scary...losing TIME. I'm 26, yes, but I have a lot of responsibilities I need to own up to, and I CAN...if it werent for my inability to connect with people. This is the one gripe I had.

I dont blame God anymore, but at the same time, what can I expect from the LORD in terms of healing or restoration? I just got done reading Romans, and going through 1 Corinthians. I understand the need to stick close to Jesus, and what I'm called to do, but if I'm operating on faulty machinery, is God not the master mechanic who can fix the problem?



(I intend for this to be a much briefer conversation).

Do don't sound much different from many I have met, I even have been going through that for 48 years. Asked my Nephew what he thought, and he said I came off with such energy, it scared people..and that I was frank with others, and very open to friendships. I have been called weird, like many..but if you were not different, you would not be unique. I found to that trying to change myself for others, did not work..because, than you run into those that liked you the other way. You just need to get into the right frame of mind..How would this world look if we were all the same, and acted the same? Much love from the other weirdo, me!
 
Feb 24, 2015
13,204
168
0
#3
if I'm operating on faulty machinery
A simple problem, an over active intelligence. Life is quite simple in some ways. Situations come along we cannot cope with. Firstly we react with fear and timidity. As we learn how things work, we gain confidence and move forward.

The problem with people with high intelligence is it gets in the way of emotional development and letting others get in. What would normally be growth in understanding between two people gets interrupted with information or discussion, and reasons why the emotional side can be ignored or circumvented.

The basic mechanism is self justification. When a dispute erupts, the more intelligent you are the quicker you can change the situation so it appears you are glowing and the other party are wrong. Now this is always true in part, but effort has to be put in to do the other side of the equation and realise the mistakes we make as well.

From your descriptions of your emotional life, it is this self criticism that is lacking. I have to put this into context, it is not self condemnation. It is a process of thinking, could I have approached things differently, come across from a different place, been more sympathetic, encouraging, less pushy, more pushy etc. Have I assumed the wrong things, is there more of a problem than I first thought.

Now the more emotionally immature you are, the harder this process is, because ego bashing can be painful. To defend ourselves from hurt or risk as babies we approach everything as if nothing can hurt us. Maturity is often defined as reaching a place when we can see reality, or at least, see what we are and what the risks actually are.

People get the weired feeling about someone if the self criticism is missing, because often this is the boundary between trust and empathy verses threat and chaos. If someone gets the hint that there is hidden turmoil, it could be horrendous or just insecurity, but that unsettles a lot of people.

I hope this helps. I do not think you have faulty machinery, but just following your own over active defence mechanisms.
 
P

psalm6819

Guest
#4
try a little humility
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#5
You're so busy expecting God to snap to and change you, have you ever asked yourself if maybe God has a purpose for you, as you are?
Are you staying close to Him and in His word regularly to ensure you are being molded into all He wants you to be?

Sounds as if you don't like things and are waiting for God to change it. Maybe He doesn't want you to change it. Or maybe you could take action yourself to change things.
Many highly intelligent people struggle with social/emotional connections. Perhaps look into finding out about others with your struggle and seeing what they did to improve it.

Im seeing your perceptions could be off, or you waiting for change to happen, but not a lot of you taking any initiative on yourself.

And we are ALL functioning on 'faulty machinery', just some more so than others. Doesn't mean God can't take you as you are and use you. God is just as much into using brokenness as He is in healing it.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,860
9,579
113
#6
Try not wanting to trade Jesus in for $2 million dollars. :/
 
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Luckysmyle

Guest
#7
Intelligent people often have problems relating to other people. I urge you to stop seeing it as a personality flaw to be fixed but instead look as it as an area you can grow in. Many famous people who have contributed the most to knowledge and invention seem to struggle in this way. Emotional intelligence is a skill to practice, books, pastors, mentors, counselors are all resources to help you. But I encourage you also to stop trying to fit into the box and find others who would enjoy living outside the box with you.
 
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Funrider

Guest
#8
Do don't sound much different from many I have met, I even have been going through that for 48 years. Asked my Nephew what he thought, and he said I came off with such energy, it scared people..and that I was frank with others, and very open to friendships. I have been called weird, like many..but if you were not different, you would not be unique. I found to that trying to change myself for others, did not work..because, than you run into those that liked you the other way. You just need to get into the right frame of mind..How would this world look if we were all the same, and acted the same? Much love from the other weirdo, me!
I appreciate that. To me, I dont mind being a bit 'weird'...we ALL are, but when it affects my ability to secure a career path, that's when I begin to get angry and find a solution. If we were truly all the same, Adam and Eve would have never eaten the apple.

PeterJens said:
A simple problem, an over active intelligence. Life is quite simple in some ways. Situations come along we cannot cope with. Firstly we react with fear and timidity. As we learn how things work, we gain confidence and move forward.

The problem with people with high intelligence is it gets in the way of emotional development and letting others get in. What would normally be growth in understanding between two people gets interrupted with information or discussion, and reasons why the emotional side can be ignored or circumvented.

The basic mechanism is self justification. When a dispute erupts, the more intelligent you are the quicker you can change the situation so it appears you are glowing and the other party are wrong. Now this is always true in part, but effort has to be put in to do the other side of the equation and realise the mistakes we make as well.

From your descriptions of your emotional life, it is this self criticism that is lacking. I have to put this into context, it is not self condemnation. It is a process of thinking, could I have approached things differently, come across from a different place, been more sympathetic, encouraging, less pushy, more pushy etc. Have I assumed the wrong things, is there more of a problem than I first thought.

Now the more emotionally immature you are, the harder this process is, because ego bashing can be painful. To defend ourselves from hurt or risk as babies we approach everything as if nothing can hurt us. Maturity is often defined as reaching a place when we can see reality, or at least, see what we are and what the risks actually are.

People get the weired feeling about someone if the self criticism is missing, because often this is the boundary between trust and empathy verses threat and chaos. If someone gets the hint that there is hidden turmoil, it could be horrendous or just insecurity, but that unsettles a lot of people.

I hope this helps. I do not think you have faulty machinery, but just following your own over active defence mechanisms.
Yep. Over-active intelligence. I wish there was an off-button, sometimes. I'd much prefer having a crew of 5-6 good friends, building a large network of champions, than being over-intelligent. So many complexities for a simple life to live.

PeterJens, you really hit it on the head. The message has been consistent so far, and you've summed it up. My own emotional development is behind...lagged...delayed, and as such, it has been hard for me to build a proper relationship upward. I didn't ask for this...it just was, and it's cost me a lot of grief that could have been avoided.

I dont want to win battles between people out of self-justification...I want to win WITH them through unity and relateability. I want win/win situations. I'm ok with making mistakes, and I'm ok with the other person making mistakes. It's human. But I dont want to make mistakes because something is off about my approach I have no control over.

This emotional immaturity is really starting to get under my skin a bit. I cant call myself a leader if my emotions arent in check. This 'self-criticism' aspect...if this is what makes people weirded out, I'd love to know how to fix it. As it is now, I no longer blame God, and even come closer to the LORD because of this. It isn't him...but it was a lack of development I retreated from. If left unaddressed, I will be in BIG trouble in life.

I will continue to seek more information on the matter, but MAN IT ISNT FUN to be in this position. It's like invisible grief. I cant detect it, and it robs me of relationships.


psalm6819 said:
try a little humility
Sorry about that. It's the grief. Hope you didn't take it the wrong way. :)

ugly said:
You're so busy expecting God to snap to and change you, have you ever asked yourself if maybe God has a purpose for you, as you are?
Are you staying close to Him and in His word regularly to ensure you are being molded into all He wants you to be?

Sounds as if you don't like things and are waiting for God to change it. Maybe He doesn't want you to change it. Or maybe you could take action yourself to change things.
Many highly intelligent people struggle with social/emotional connections. Perhaps look into finding out about others with your struggle and seeing what they did to improve it.

Im seeing your perceptions could be off, or you waiting for change to happen, but not a lot of you taking any initiative on yourself.

And we are ALL functioning on 'faulty machinery', just some more so than others. Doesn't mean God can't take you as you are and use you. God is just as much into using brokenness as He is in healing it.
1st, you're anything BUT ugly my friend. Be happy. You seem like an alright person!

2nd, I am in the word, and I know what God has for me. I know who God is, and I know who I am in the LORD. I know what my mission and vision is. As I am, I cant accomplish much. A guy like me...I NEED MORE. I need to do more, serve more, gain more, command more. That is my essence as a man. I will never surrender that. God seems ok with it too.

I am taking the action to correct my shortcomings. It's like trying to run an offensive play in the 3rd quarter, 2nd down. I know I have to pull my team together to make that 30-40 yard pass to gain 1st down, or even a touchdown run, or, identify a proper running play to crack through the defensive setup into 1st or touchdown. Problem in my case is...there's an element in my technique...my way of being...that sabotages my every effort. If I were a Quarterback, it could be a weak shoulder...or recovering from an injury, or poor nutrition, or skipping a workout, or calling the wrong play, or not communicating the play properly. In my own life, something prevents me from successfully moving on from an interview, getting a girl's phone number, identifying a new client or business partner, or even relating to my niece or nephew properly.

I'm definitely finding people similar to me, but oftentimes, they're not people I want to associate with. They tend to creep ME out, and make me feel uncomfortable. It's like looking into a funhouse mirror, and seeing a warped reflection of your own self. It's not comfortable. It's even worse when it's a girl, and she happens to have a crush on me, but I dont find her attractive, and she stalks me and makes me feel nervous, and I dont feel the same way about her interest-wise. I know where I need to spend my time, but if something holds me back and keeps me straggling with opportunists, unsavory people, annoyances, and immature adult-childs, I have to run away and protect myself. Think what you want of that, I have an objective I need to complete, and I cannot afford fatal associations to ruin my family's future.

God can use the broken or unbroken, but I will not stand for being considered broken. I am no such broken person. We can always improve, and I am committed to my own self-improvement for life.

blue_ladybug said:
Try not wanting to trade Jesus in for $2 million dollars. :/


$200 million. That amount represents me being able to achieve any dream I want and still have enough left over to live off of. $2 million is...quite a low number to trade salvation at. At this time, I've decided I will never trade Jesus, as he is not mine to trade. He traded HIS LIFE for MY SINS. I dont have ownership over Jesus, so I cant sell or trade him. He paid for ME to be free, and that is truth.

luckysmyle said:
Intelligent people often have problems relating to other people. I urge you to stop seeing it as a personality flaw to be fixed but instead look as it as an area you can grow in. Many famous people who have contributed the most to knowledge and invention seem to struggle in this way. Emotional intelligence is a skill to practice, books, pastors, mentors, counselors are all resources to help you. But I encourage you also to stop trying to fit into the box and find others who would enjoy living outside the box with you.


Definitely. It is THE critical challenge of my life, and one I can gain victory over with proper guidance.

As for the box, I will forever be outside the box, and look for like-minded people. However, in my vocation I believe is from the LORD for my life, I need to be able to relate to and impact people inside the box as well. I need to be open for all to come to.
 
Feb 24, 2015
13,204
168
0
#9
emotional immaturity
If you want to really learn, you have to let yourself feel, or repress and control how you feel.
The idea of keeping emotions in check is a subtle deception. Emotions are controlled or kept in check with other emotions not by suppression. Suppression is just denial, empowering the feeling to pop up stronger somewhere else.

What you have to start with is learning about your own emotional reactions. Normally this is done in ones youth, and in safety where the consequences are minimal. Once you know your own emotional language you can put it in context with the whole realm of life experiences. So anger is matched against sympathy or disappointment.

It is always hard to let the emotions roll at first because they feel like they will consume you, but they are only feelings.
They pass, but repressing them makes them appear more powerful than they actually are.

The process of doing this can take years of slow progression because you change who you are and how you react by doing this. Some find this disconcerting, but it is becoming mature which is different from when you are young.
 
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Jan 24, 2012
1,299
15
0
#10
Closing from our last conversation, it was very apparent...that I lacked some very crucial insight into how to properly live as a Christian man in today's world.

I always had my suspicion...that I was an outsider to society. Even more so, an outsider to groups. I never fit in anywhere, even closed groups who couldn't generally fit in with society. People would tell me that I look like someone who's got things going on, but that there was something off about me.

This infuriated me, and served as the basis for my frustration with God...it made me ask the question "Why am I so different? Why cant I pull together with people?"


I just had an interview for a corporate account manager position...a salaried job that would have allowed me to live on my own. The man I interviewed with went through the process, and as I asked questions...he went off tangent, and asked me directly...

" [Funrider], I have a question. Is there something in this interview you're not telling me?"

...I can sense things from people, and I felt the LORD tugging at me to share my story, so I did.

What I told him wasn't important. It was some life details. I shared who I was.

What WAS imporant, was how he replied:

" [Funrider], you present yourself well, and you aced the interview in terms of answering all the questions properly...but I have to be honest with you...something is off about you...something is weird about how you answered your questions, and moreso, it's also weird that, you present yourself so well, and come across as a successful professional, yet, I look at your resume, and you seem to have had trouble holding down a job for longer than 3-6 months. I cant read you. I dont get it. I want to hire you, but something isn't adding up"

Now, so that you're aware, this "weirdness" he's referring to...I have battled God on this for YEARS on why he made me weird. I never liked it...but anyway, back to the interview...he said that in March, he will have a definite plan on moving forward. He told me to call him if any questions pop up about the job.

I corresponded with family and friends on the matter. Apparently, from family and friends...I seem to be someone who isn't easy to get along with. I tend to be opinionated, and stand strongly on issues even if they're not popular...well, to the point where it affects my ability to get along with others.

From my mentor, I seem to be lacking in emotional maturity and experience. Intellectually, I am a genius. Emotionally, I'm like a child. This isn't good for me, as I am trying to build both a profitable business network, and bring people closer to Christ.


In short, I have been told I am rather eccentric in nature. I am not pleased with that.

I thought God could fix me up, or at least give me wisdom and insight on how to fix it.

The problem I have is...I keep running in circles, losing money, and most scary...losing TIME. I'm 26, yes, but I have a lot of responsibilities I need to own up to, and I CAN...if it werent for my inability to connect with people. This is the one gripe I had.

I dont blame God anymore, but at the same time, what can I expect from the LORD in terms of healing or restoration? I just got done reading Romans, and going through 1 Corinthians. I understand the need to stick close to Jesus, and what I'm called to do, but if I'm operating on faulty machinery, is God not the master mechanic who can fix the problem?



(I intend for this to be a much briefer conversation).
Honestly I identify with this post A LOT. I LOVE people and they love me, but I have an incredible problem trying to connect with others period, let alone in the church. My wife and I don't plan on ever having kids, I'm an anarchist so I don't agree ideologically with both my liberal and conservative friends on almost every issue, and I'm always the odd man out in any group conversations that my friends at church have because everything I seem to say comes out very awkwardly and people will laugh and be like "lol you're too smart for your own good man". And almost every time it will be about a piece of conversation that I wasn't intending on sounding intelligent by saying what I said, which makes me ponder about the things I often say because I don't want to come off as trying to sound intelligent or that I'm intellectually superior than the next person because I honestly don't think I am. I just feel very eccentric in my thinking and speech and I often wonder if I have aspergers or something lol.

If it helps at all, you might have the spiritual gift of teaching. I took a test (a very accurate one) through my church and found that it was my gift. It also said that people with the gift of teaching are often loners and have a hard time connecting emotionally with people.

But anyway, I know that you were posting about a problem that you are having but I wanted to let you know that you helped me out tremendously by revealing to me that there are other "Christian outsiders" like me who desperately crave a feeling of acceptance and normalcy spiritually.
 
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myLordsheep

Guest
#11
I'm not wealthy enough to be eccentric... so I'm just plain a bit strange myself :) .

A suggestion if I may... there is a thing variably called "the prayer of St Francis" and " Make me a channel of Your Peace". In either case it asks for the ability to not so much be consoled as to be the one who consoles, or to be understood as to understand, or to be loved as to Love.
I have found that when I aim for those goals, I am able to get away from the self centered "all about me" state that made me unique from others, and move closer to the "not about me but Him" place that makes me useful to the Lord, and to the others that come across the path I walk.
As one poster earlier stated one needs humility; humility being an absence of self; and once I was willing to apply that on a daily basis in my interactions with others, I began to see that I was not so strange after all... and definitely not alone.
I do not always succeed in this, and I honestly believe no one maintains perfect adherence. Halos have a way of slipping and becoming nooses quite rapidly. But I accept that I am still a work in progress, and what I do endeavor to maintain is the willingness to be useful rather than use others, and to be a friend rather than to find one. God will continue to change me as long as I am willing to let Him.
And the bottom line for me is that I am a stronger and more compassionate person today that when I started, and I rely on the Promise that what God started, He will finish (Philippians 1:6)
 
F

Funrider

Guest
#12
Read it all.

PeterJens: Talking with my therapist about...95% of the same stuff mentioned, actually. Everything is adding up.

Bushido8000: Glad it impacted you. Really. There's always one or more of us going through similar circumstances. My goal is to WIN, overcome each challenge, and if I share it, let you know you can win and succeed as well. That's what God should really encourage...everyone can win and grow if they work hard enough.

myLordSheep: I have a hard time putting the LORD first. I dont want to make it about him. I dont care for him. I've been beaten and cheated so many times in life...I ask myself what good it would be to put him first. So what if he sent Christ. Wonderful. I'll accept salvation. Whatever. My quality of life is still crap, something is preventing me from fixing it, and the LORD isn't showing me how to fix it, even when I plead with the holy spirit. You and others say "put him first and be in service to him". I know that's what we can do, but I ask...what's in it for me? Why serve him? What did he do for me outside of Christ? Where's my benefit? Who cares?". Many of you can do things for Jesus out of love, but with what happened in my life...I wont willingly give him my everything unless I know he will come through for me. I've been dealt so many crap hands...I refuse to give him a chance unless he can guarantee he has my back. Some of you will get offended by this. Sorry. I just wish you can understand where I come from. Some will say "Maybe some humility is in order". I will not kneel before someone or something I perceive to be a tyrant. I will die fighting. That is who I am. Call me arrogant...I know what God is capable of, and I will not be cheated. I can always pursue the occult and get what I want that way. If it werent for Jesus Christ being the ONLY TRUTH OF TRUTHS...I'd have rejected this whole process a long time ago.


I digress...and apologize. I had to take a minute to calm down. This is a very emotional subject for me. For me to ask how I can be a blessing to God, and serve him...is like an insult to me. How can I be expected to serve him when I cant even hold a regular job down, I dont have a girlfriend, I still live with my parents at 26, and I have everyone see me as weird and unusual. It's like being a monkey with no arms, and the LORD asking me to climb a tree and fetch some bananas, or being a paraplegic, and God asking me to run up a long flight of stairs, or having my entire cash fund robbed to $0, and God asking me to tithe 30% of my income to his church, knowing I had my money stolen. It's like being pranked by a hoodlum (God), and being expected to laugh it off and serve said hoodlum.

...look, I am currently in a bad mood. I had something happen within my group of friends. I risk losing my friends entirely because of God crapping on my life. Please understand, I need to fix my eccentricity, but the thought of me imagining being in service to the LORD and seeing what I can do for HIM...is one of my hot buttons, and gets me REALLY ANGRY.
 
L

Luckysmyle

Guest
#13
Bushido8000: Glad it impacted you. Really. There's always one or more of us going through similar circumstances. My goal is to WIN, overcome each challenge, and if I share it, let you know you can win and succeed as well. That's what God should really encourage...everyone can win and grow if they work hard enough.

For me to ask how I can be a blessing to God, and serve him...is like an insult to me. How can I be expected to serve him when I cant even hold a regular job down, I dont have a girlfriend, I still live with my parents at 26, and I have everyone see me as weird and unusual. It's like being a monkey with no arms, and the LORD asking me to climb a tree and fetch some bananas, or being a paraplegic, and God asking me to run up a long flight of stairs, or having my entire cash fund robbed to $0, and God asking me to tithe 30% of my income to his church, knowing I had my money stolen. It's like being pranked by a hoodlum (God), and being expected to laugh it off and serve said hoodlum.
I get the impression that you are trying to be be good enough to be accepted by others and by God.

Matthew 6:25-26New International Version (NIV)

Do Not Worry
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Psalm 46:10New International Version (NIV)

10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”

I feel like you are so busy trying to see God in your life that you are missing Him because He doesn't look the way you expect Him to.

When you say that you feel like a monkey without arms that God wants to climb a tree to get bananas, I wonder if that isn't the enemy trying to hold you back. Soon as you used that illustration I got the picture of a meme about standardized testing pop into my head....where a bunch of different animals are told to climb a tree. The point of the meme being that you're not dumb if you can't do something that you weren't designed to do. I get the impression that you're a fish and that the devil is telling you you're not good enough because you can't climb a tree.

I get that it sucks feeling like the outsider, I'm in the same boat, but I feel like God has plans for you that most people could never accomplish. I know in your last post you said that serving Him is a hot button issue for you, but in a previous post you talk about the work He has called you to. I don't know what God has called you to, but I know for myself I was disappointed and felt like I failed when the dream I felt God had called me to went up in smoke. Since then though God has been showing me a much bigger and better version of that dream. The thing is the dream I feel He is calling me to now is huge, had He given me this dream first I would have never thought it possible and never pursued it (actually I had a much smaller version of this dream before becoming a Christian and wrote it off as completely out of reach for me). By God showing me this other dream, I started taking steps towards it, then it seemed to vanish like a mirage, but when I finally got over my pride and looked up again He showed me that my journey hadn't been wasted, I had gained knowledge and resources I would need to complete His bigger dream for me.

Sorry I went off on a bit of a tangent there, my desired point was simply that if you feel like you don't fit yet, maybe God hasn't taken you as far as He wants to yet.
 
Feb 24, 2015
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#14
You are simple to sum up. It is like being in nursery and the teacher is hiding the cookie behind their back. You know it is there and they dictate everything that goes on. But you want to play, and have all the toys, and be allowed to do what you like when you like. And it is the teachers fault that you do not have things the way you want it.

I life was just about the toys and getting what you want, then this would make sense. But eternity is about the right approach to everything, not because that is forced upon you but because this is how things work, it is the basis of life.

Somehow you are stuck in primary school, people and relationships do not matter, just overwhelming frustration at not getting what you want or need and it is so unfair.

The truth is the game and obtaining all these things is an illusion.
Take a sport like american football. The value in the game is merely being able to say one played by a set of rules and won against another team. It relies on you believing the game has value, it matters. But it is just a game, it is how you approach it and why that matters.

People would describe you as very immature, because you fail at this simple appreciation of life. I would be worried that you might go off on a tangent for any reason, because you do not have the basics right. I wish you well, but it will take you a long time to find "life" as Jesus meant it.
 
Feb 24, 2015
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#15
How can I be expected to serve him when I cant even hold a regular job down, I dont have a girlfriend, I still live with my parents at 26, and I have everyone see me as weird and unusual.
Here is some simple life advice. Start trying to make things simple, very simple. Stop over analysing and see each contact with someone as a simple exchange of ideas and complements. You fire off on so many issues all at once, you need to keep this private, and simplify how you regard the outside world. In a simple world with simple transactions is where most people live. So this is where you need to relate. If you can do this, you will be able to cope, and deal with others.

You are displaying typical mental illness, which takes things so far from there starting point they loose there meaning.
Being angry at your situation is fine, but taking this to the world, is too far. Most people have to accept these feelings and accept things as they appear, because they cannot construct a large model and then blame the parts. It may seem to help you but in fact it is undermining what the emotions are trying to get you to do.

On a side note we are all mentally ill is some way, on a sliding scale, and we all do what you are doing to some degree.
Jesus came to say, you matter, to God, but you are the problem. You start by just assuming nothing and being stupid, simple, open and honest. If you can do this, you have real hope for your future, but I think this is the battle you have not yet won or even started.
 
F

Funrider

Guest
#16
Im getting the help needed, and becoming less eccentric. I'm keeping it simple, and not thinking as much.

The thing that strikes out at me is...a secular therapist helped me, not God or Jesus. I wont get into it now, but I'm beginning to REALLY question whether Jesus is who he is claimed to be in the new testament. Can he heal? Is it worth pursuing him?

The more non-christian sources HELP ME GET RESULTS, the less committed I want to be to God. I prayed to God for years for help to become better, and he did nothing at all. Yet, secular professionals have done more for me than any verse of scripture ever has.

I'm questioning whether I want to continue having faith in the LORD or not. Freemasonry seems like a really great option right now...
 
Feb 24, 2015
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#17
...a secular therapist helped me, not God or Jesus.
The source of help does not define whether God is helping you or not.

You need to understand some basic ideas. You do not see Jesus, your commitment to him is an odd commitment, ignoring and miss understanding the basics of faith or even life. Truth and reality is the thing you need to grasp, and many avenues will appear to you to be walking away from God, but that is what you need to do. All you have expressed as being christian is so far from Jesus, it is difficult to say in your understanding there is anything to hang on to.

Your faith does not appear to be what we as christians would recognise. What will help you is to stop trying too hard at anything complex, but keeping things simple. Running after any faith system is not going to help you, until you can see things remotely in a sane balanced way.
 
Sep 13, 2015
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#18
You and I seem to have the opposite problem; I am constantly emotionally overwhelmed, with seemingly limited intelligence. I've never been much of a logical thinker. :confused:

I'd like to first say, the world needs weirdos in it. Don't stop being weird. God doesn't make mistakes, my friend :)

Seems to me like you're wanting God to fit into your schedule. The thing is, God's timing is not only perfect, it is vastly different from our's. He doesn't necessarily work fast; he works suddenly. I'm currently married to a man who does not know Christ and is unemployed, living in a tiny, freezing, basement apartment with a part-time job that barely covers our rent let alone food and bills. I don't even know if my paycheck will be enough to cover this month's rent. I also have social anxiety and am no stranger to panic attacks. I could very easily say that my life is crap. But it wasn't until I was brought down to my lowest point that it really sunk in how much I need Christ. I mean, I've always known it; I've known it for as long as I can remember. But like I've said in a different thread; we all know we need air to breathe. But until you're suffocating and choking to death, you don't fully appreciate that need. And you know what? I'm only 25! I've got my whole life ahead of me! Quite frankly, I'm excited to see where God's gonna lead me five, ten, twenty years from now. Even if I have nothing in this world, I can look forward to the day that God calls me home.

Until God opens the next door, praise him in the hallway.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.-Philippians 4:6-7


 

G4JC

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2011
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#19
I'm questioning whether I want to continue having faith in the LORD or not. Freemasonry seems like a really great option right now...
Nope. --> Christian Ministries Internationa - Should Christians Join the Masonic Lodge?

If it helps any - I'm 3 years younger than you and have had problems getting a job too, but that doesn't mean I'd give up my faith or question God. Rather I blame the current recruiting process. If you've ever taken online job applications you've bumped into Unicrew, BrassRing, PeopleSmart, and Kronos. Each of these uses advanced algorithms to determine your psychological profile, then using this information they forward it along to the HR department. Some of the answers they request are absolutely off the wall, so I have fun just trolling them - which also left 6-8 months without work.

However, I have since been able to find a job locally (without the unhelpfulness of online job applications) and I thank God for it.
Also a word of advice, forget big corporations and try to find a small business to work for. You won't get paid as much, but at least you won't have to put up with those job applications.

Also based on the interview you mentioned in the first post, the interviewer clearly discriminated against you. Since when has "being weird" been an issue for employment? Obama's EOO office hires tons of weird people, some that don't even know their gender identity. Of course if you're a Christian, it might get you fired for speaking out about your faith - but it's a small price to pay compared to the martyrs who died to give you the Bible.


Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. - Proverbs 3:5-7
 

wolfwint

Senior Member
Feb 15, 2014
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#20
Im getting the help needed, and becoming less eccentric. I'm keeping it simple, and not thinking as much.

The thing that strikes out at me is...a secular therapist helped me, not God or Jesus. I wont get into it now, but I'm beginning to REALLY question whether Jesus is who he is claimed to be in the new testament. Can he heal? Is it worth pursuing him?

The more non-christian sources HELP ME GET RESULTS, the less committed I want to be to God. I prayed to God for years for help to become better, and he did nothing at all. Yet, secular professionals have done more for me than any verse of scripture ever has.

I'm questioning whether I want to continue having faith in the LORD or not. Freemasonry seems like a really great option right now...
Dear funrider, from your post i must conclude you dont know Jesus. Live is not easy and we are living in a fallen world, where the opposition against Jesus Christ and his followers grows. i made many expieriences with followers of Jesus which disapointet me. And i made expierieces with me which disapointet me and others. But in spite of this all i never had a reason to doubt that Jesus loves me ore to blame him. It is always easy to praise the Lord if everything is going well. But do we still trust him, when we dont feel that he is here? When we feel alone and weary?
Two things i suppose he wants from us. Obeying him and trust him! I dont want live withhout Jesus. This would be the most terrible thing in my life. 25 years i lieved without him. Since 3.oct. 1987 i know i am loved from him, even i gave him many reasons for not to love me. He's grace and his love is more precious then all richness in this world, which is going down.

You have no reason to blame him!
Go into the world believe them. They cant give you life! they cant give you hope!
their future will end in the hell, everlasting seperatet from God. Is this your goal? Do you prefer this?
You say the Lord is doing nothing for you. He died for you! What you did to thanks him?
I hope and pray you find back to him!