Seeking Adult Advice

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M

Madiosn

Guest
#1
#1
Hello, my name is Abby and I have recently completed my first semester of college. I am 18 years old, and this is the first time I've really been away from home. I know this is hard on my parents, but I call them every night and come home nearly every weekend.
I met a boy that I really like and have a lot in common with. He's Godly and I know he likes me a whole lot. I've met his mother (divorced parents) and he wants me to meet his father soon. He talks about serious plans for us.
The only problem is that he's 22 and doesn't have a college degree. He has career plans and works currently, but it really bothers my family that he dropped out. Also, he doesn't fit in with my family. He's more like me than them, but I know my family won't accept him unless he's their ideal.
I need advice on what I should do. I've prayed to God relentlessly, but he never seems to answer. I like this boy a whole lot, but it kills me that my family doesn't approve of him. What should I do?
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#2
#2
Madiosn said:
Hello, my name is Abby and I have recently completed my first semester of college. I am 18 years old, and this is the first time I've really been away from home. I know this is hard on my parents, but I call them every night and come home nearly every weekend.
I met a boy that I really like and have a lot in common with. He's Godly and I know he likes me a whole lot. I've met his mother (divorced parents) and he wants me to meet his father soon. He talks about serious plans for us.
The only problem is that he's 22 and doesn't have a college degree. He has career plans and works currently, but it really bothers my family that he dropped out. Also, he doesn't fit in with my family. He's more like me than them, but I know my family won't accept him unless he's their ideal.
I need advice on what I should do. I've prayed to God relentlessly, but he never seems to answer. I like this boy a whole lot, but it kills me that my family doesn't approve of him. What should I do?
Click to expand...

Is there any other reason your parents don't like him? It seems a rather small thing that he changed his mind in college.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#3
Apr 18, 2013
9,339
2,427
113
#3
Why does your family not approve of him?
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#4
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
#4
Sooner or later, you will have to leave your mother and father and get on with life. Just like your parents before you, you will not like the guy your daughter is into.
 
Desertsrose

Desertsrose

Senior Member
#5
Oct 24, 2016
2,824
207
63
#5
Madiosn said:
Hello, my name is Abby and I have recently completed my first semester of college. I am 18 years old, and this is the first time I've really been away from home. I know this is hard on my parents, but I call them every night and come home nearly every weekend.
I met a boy that I really like and have a lot in common with. He's Godly and I know he likes me a whole lot. I've met his mother (divorced parents) and he wants me to meet his father soon. He talks about serious plans for us.
The only problem is that he's 22 and doesn't have a college degree. He has career plans and works currently, but it really bothers my family that he dropped out. Also, he doesn't fit in with my family. He's more like me than them, but I know my family won't accept him unless he's their ideal.
I need advice on what I should do. I've prayed to God relentlessly, but he never seems to answer. I like this boy a whole lot, but it kills me that my family doesn't approve of him. What should I do?
Click to expand...

Hi Madiosn,

Since you've asked, here's a few things that come to mind when a young person asks questions like this.

One thing I'd like to offer is that you're young and you've just recently met this young man. You said you like him and that's a good start in a relationship, but I wouldn't worry about how your parents feel for now because you simply like him.

You aren't in love yet and there's no marriage plans involved, right? I know you said he has serious plans, but you didn't say you did. And if you don't have those feelings yet, don't encourage him to think there may be a serious future.

Take some time, don't be in a hurry, you don't really know a person in such a short time. Give your parents some time to get to know him as well.

Find out why he quit college, what are his career plans for the future, what type of job does he have now, is it enough to provide for a wife and kids?

More importantly, how are both your relationships with the Lord? Is God #1 in your life and his? Do you have prayer time together? Find out if you're in agreement as to what you believe about the Lord and what it means to love Him with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. Do you two worship at the same church? Are you in a bible study together?

I hope those questions don't seem like I'm pushing in too heavily. I just like to see young people asking good questions and taking time; not jumping into something that's a permanent union without taking time to consider what they're doing.
 
Last edited:
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#6
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#6
I think this was already asked, but why do your parents object to him? What is their "ideal" for him?
 
N

NicoleWilliams

Guest
#7
#7
Hi, Abby. I can really understand your situation. I think it would be a good idea if you can seek the advice of your parents. God has given them valuable perspective and wisdom from their life experiences, and they also have unique insights into your personality and needs. In this area of your life, perhaps as in no other, you would do well to ask for their counsel and take their recommendations to heart. Also, your pastor or youth director can provide more feedback regarding to this. I am praying for you. May God give you wisdom and guidance. Hugs!
 
M

Madiosn

Guest
#8
#8
Thank you all for the advice given. I really cannot imagine why my parents disapprove of him except for the fact that he dropped out of college. He's a gentleman and a sweetheart otherwise. He doesn't have many common interests with my family (they're very outdoorsy and like to hunt/fish/etc) while he and I like to play video games together and curl up while we watch a movie or talk about "nerdy" things. Sometimes I feel like they'd rather I date someone who fits in with them than someone who likes the same activities as me!
Thank you again for the advice and prayer. We have prayed about it many times together, and hopefully God will give his answer soon!
 
W

Wild

Guest
#9
#9
Madiosn said:
Hello, my name is Abby and I have recently completed my first semester of college. I am 18 years old, and this is the first time I've really been away from home. I know this is hard on my parents, but I call them every night and come home nearly every weekend.
I met a boy that I really like and have a lot in common with. He's Godly and I know he likes me a whole lot. I've met his mother (divorced parents) and he wants me to meet his father soon. He talks about serious plans for us.
The only problem is that he's 22 and doesn't have a college degree. He has career plans and works currently, but it really bothers my family that he dropped out. Also, he doesn't fit in with my family. He's more like me than them, but I know my family won't accept him unless he's their ideal.
I need advice on what I should do. I've prayed to God relentlessly, but he never seems to answer. I like this boy a whole lot, but it kills me that my family doesn't approve of him. What should I do?
Click to expand...
followyourheart
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#10
Apr 18, 2013
9,339
2,427
113
#10
Madiosn said:
Thank you all for the advice given. I really cannot imagine why my parents disapprove of him except for the fact that he dropped out of college. He's a gentleman and a sweetheart otherwise. He doesn't have many common interests with my family (they're very outdoorsy and like to hunt/fish/etc) while he and I like to play video games together and curl up while we watch a movie or talk about "nerdy" things. Sometimes I feel like they'd rather I date someone who fits in with them than someone who likes the same activities as me!
Thank you again for the advice and prayer. We have prayed about it many times together, and hopefully God will give his answer soon!
Click to expand...
I really find this a little hard to believe.

: )
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#13
#13
Madiosn said:
Thank you all for the advice given. I really cannot imagine why my parents disapprove of him except for the fact that he dropped out of college. He's a gentleman and a sweetheart otherwise. He doesn't have many common interests with my family (they're very outdoorsy and like to hunt/fish/etc) while he and I like to play video games together and curl up while we watch a movie or talk about "nerdy" things. Sometimes I feel like they'd rather I date someone who fits in with them than someone who likes the same activities as me!
Thank you again for the advice and prayer. We have prayed about it many times together, and hopefully God will give his answer soon!
Click to expand...

Usually heeding the advice of your family is a good thing.When we are falling in love its hard to be objective about the person. If its just a matter of personal taste take your time and let your family get to know him. They will most likely change their mind. You're young and have lots of time so you dont need to rush anything.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#14
#14
Madiosn said:
Hello, my name is Abby and I have recently completed my first semester of college. I am 18 years old, and this is the first time I've really been away from home. I know this is hard on my parents, but I call them every night and come home nearly every weekend.
I met a boy that I really like and have a lot in common with. He's Godly and I know he likes me a whole lot. I've met his mother (divorced parents) and he wants me to meet his father soon. He talks about serious plans for us.
The only problem is that he's 22 and doesn't have a college degree. He has career plans and works currently, but it really bothers my family that he dropped out. Also, he doesn't fit in with my family. He's more like me than them, but I know my family won't accept him unless he's their ideal.
I need advice on what I should do. I've prayed to God relentlessly, but he never seems to answer. I like this boy a whole lot, but it kills me that my family doesn't approve of him. What should I do?
Click to expand...
I can start listing what I don't like about him and haven't even met him.

I'm sure your parents can furnish you with a bigger list. Ask!
 
GOP

GOP

Senior Member
#15
Jul 12, 2015
1,668
91
48
#15
Thank you NicoleWilliams for given her this blessed advice in JESUS' NAME.
NicoleWilliams said:
Hi, Abby. I can really understand your situation. I think it would be a good idea if you can seek the advice of your parents. God has given them valuable perspective and wisdom from their life experiences, and they also have unique insights into your personality and needs. In this area of your life, perhaps as in no other, you would do well to ask for their counsel and take their recommendations to heart. Also, your pastor or youth director can provide more feedback regarding to this. I am praying for you. May God give you wisdom and guidance. Hugs!
Click to expand...
 
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