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Thread: Struggling with 1 Corinthians 7:3-5.

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    Default Struggling with 1 Corinthians 7:3-5.

    Hi, I'm struggling with 1 Corinthians 7:3-5. I have a trauma history and it has resulted in me not liking physical touch. I can occasionally hold hands but hugging is too much. This verse makes it sound like I'm going to go to hell if my partner sins because of my refusal. I don't want to go to hell but I also can't force myself to do something that I'm not comfortable doing.

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    Default Re: Struggling with 1 Corinthians 7:3-5.

    You were married despite not being able to touch someone? That sounds like something that should have been discussed before being married.

    I can relate to you, as I also want to remain celibate, if possible, even when married. But I wouldnt marry someone without them knowing this ahead of time.
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    Default Re: Struggling with 1 Corinthians 7:3-5.

    Yes, I'm currently married for 8 years. I was intimate with him before marriage out of fear of him leaving me. Then once we got married I told him how hard it is for me to be intimate. I hate to deny him all the time and feel like the bible teaches that I'm supposed to be intimate with my husband.

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    Default Re: Struggling with 1 Corinthians 7:3-5.

    Hello Overit09, You will not be sent to Hell due to another persons sins. God is love & merciful. He is aware & understands if something is difficult for you to do. If it's something you desire to overcome ask him to help you & he will.
    Romans 10:13 - For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
    Acts 3:19 - Repent therefore and turn to God, so that your sins may be blotted out, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.
    Ephesians 6:11 - Put on the whole armor of God, so that you can stand firm against the schemes of the devil.

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    Default Re: Struggling with 1 Corinthians 7:3-5.

    Quote Originally Posted by Overit09 View Post
    Yes, I'm currently married for 8 years. I was intimate with him before marriage out of fear of him leaving me. Then once we got married I told him how hard it is for me to be intimate. I hate to deny him all the time and feel like the bible teaches that I'm supposed to be intimate with my husband.
    The bible does say that you should be intimate with your husband if he asks and the same goes for him. This problem is a very serious threat to your marriage if it is not resolved. Are there any children involved? I don't really believe that I'm qualified to offer any counsel but wish you the best. Glad to have you join us. Welcome to CC.
    M & M's melt in your mouth and not in your hands.

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    Default Re: Struggling with 1 Corinthians 7:3-5.

    Yes we have a 6 year old son. We consider ourselves best friends, we are just rarely intimate.

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    Default Re: Struggling with 1 Corinthians 7:3-5.

    Quote Originally Posted by Overit09 View Post
    Yes, I'm currently married for 8 years. I was intimate with him before marriage out of fear of him leaving me. Then once we got married I told him how hard it is for me to be intimate. I hate to deny him all the time and feel like the bible teaches that I'm supposed to be intimate with my husband.
    I just hope you won't be too hard on him if you find out something has been going on behind your back for quite a few years.
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    Default Re: Struggling with 1 Corinthians 7:3-5.

    I have no idea where you got the idea of anyone being sent to hell from that scripture since it never says, or even suggests such a thing. It states that a married couple should come together to help prevent potential problems in the marriage, such as infidelity. Nowhere does it mention anyone going to hell. So it seems this is something you have fabricated in your own mind.

    As far as offering anything more specific about your situation neither I, nor anyone else here, can give any real information or advice as there is no real information given to know anything to say.

    I would, though, advise you to seek counseling. Both you and your husband could benefit from healing and recovery. If trauma is a problem from your past there is a highly successful method for trauma called EMDR. It is essentially mimicking REM while focusing on the trauma. I looked into it, in the past, to ensure there was nothing questionable about it mentally or spiritually and found zero concerns. I tried it a few times, but it didn't fit my personal situation. But i did get the experience to know it is a safe method.
    Counselors should be trained and licensed to use it. Here is a link for you to look more into it, if you are interested.
    https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/

    I hope you can find some healing from your past trauma, one way or another.
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    Default Re: Struggling with 1 Corinthians 7:3-5.

    Get professional counseling with your husband and work through it...don' t be fearful but commit to finding answers...

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    Default Re: Struggling with 1 Corinthians 7:3-5.

    Quote Originally Posted by Overit09 View Post
    Yes, I'm currently married for 8 years. I was intimate with him before marriage out of fear of him leaving me. Then once we got married I told him how hard it is for me to be intimate. I hate to deny him all the time and feel like the bible teaches that I'm supposed to be intimate with my husband.
    It wasn't very considerate of you to deceive him before marriage and then tell him afterwards. I don't want to come off as harsh, but you are coming off kind of selfish to me. Now, I do respect that you have had traumatic experiences, but even your posts seem to indicate that you are more concerned for yourself than for him.

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