Lost, Feeling down, and unfortunately hopeless right now....

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Sasfraz7

Guest
#1
#1
I am all new this. I literally felt helpless and so I googled help and it brought me here. I do believe in God with all my heart. I try everyday to be a good person and not judge anyone. Its hard to explain my life amd everything in one forum but anyone that cares enough for some advice ? I appreciate everything. I am 25 year old single female and I come from a church going, good family. Now when I say that believe me, my family has had its down falls plenty of times, I mean what family hasnt? I grew up so innocent and full of love for life. When I was 17 years old I fell in love with a guy who loved drugs. Instead of helping him, I joined him and starting doing drugs. Me and the guy broke up and for the next 7 years my life was new relationships (some good, others not so good) but my life always had drugs. I hit rock bottom in 2015 when my family discovered my heavy drug use and they disowned me. And I never blamed them. I mean it hurt cause thats when i needed them and their love the most but I understood. On may 15, 2015 (my birthday) that was the last day I ever touched a drug again. My paranoi had set in full force to where I thought everyone was trying to kill me or hurt me (this was due to my drug use) now 8 months later and my paranoi has went down tremendously. I will still have things that will set me off but for the most part i can control it. So heres the thing, I have straightned my life out and I try and talk to God except when I do i feel like he loves me but for some reason I feel like I have dissapointed him so much that i cant even talk to him or I feel like Im not good enough to talk to Him. Also, i feel like i know the solution to all my problems but no desire to fix it? I feel so stuck and so hopless and so alone. I have no friends anymore ( they all moved away) and im sure i could meet people but i have no desire too. Its like sometimes I think whats the point?? Okay you live life have a family raise some good kids with a good husband and go to church help people when you can and do Gods work but sometimes it feels like I will never have any of that because I have no desire for it. Why do i feel so numb? Why do i feel like no one cares? Is it something I need to fix? Why do i even feel like this. Im so thankful for my health and my life and God has never nade me go through something so horrible and im worthy enough to have the life I want except i feel theres no point in doing it. I feel like so many people are mean to me no matter how nice I am. People run all over me cause I used to stand up for myself but now I dont. I have mixed feelings all the time. I never feel closure anymore. I feel like I know everything and nothing all at the same time. But if you were to meet me you would think "oh that girl is a good person with a head on her shoulders" but im so good at hiding how I really feel. I dont go to church anymore but I really want too in hopes that it will really change my whole outlook on life. Im just typing from the heart and I know Im rambling. Any advice helps and if you see something I dont understand please help me....God Bless!!!!
 
W

Wild

Guest
#2
#2
Wow. Ok. If you feel like you are not good enough for God, when you pray to Him. You are dead wrong! God can erase anything you have ever done. He can make you a new person and wipe away all the drugs, all your bad decisions. I can relate to you when you say that you feel numb, or you have to act a certain way, and stuff like that. I ask myself alot about the point of life , and such. I guess my answer is don't worry about it too much, society will tell you about marriage and having kids and raising a family and all that. Thats all good stuff, but I'll say live your life for God first. Nobody else. I'm sorry your family disowned you, perhaps they will come around. When you show change and you are doing great now quitting drugs for this long. Congrats!

Just remember with God a fresh start is always possible. Just give your heart to Him. Find a new church if you want, if you don't think you are ready to go to church for whatever reason, don't! Until you are ready. God is everywhere, you can talk to Him anywhere. I suggest find friends who are real and genuine. Preferably Godly people, who would really care for you, not some "cool" drug using boys. They will only lead you to destruction. I pray God gives you sound judgement in your future decisions. Best of luck out there, and you are never alone.
 
notbythesword

notbythesword

Senior Member
#3
Apr 28, 2015
305
5
0
#3
None of us are good enough for God. It’s why Jesus paid the price for all who are willing to accept it. It might help to keep this passage in mind.

Jesus replied to them, “The healthy don’t need a doctor, but the sick do. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” Luke 5:31-32
 
88

88

Senior Member
#4
Nov 14, 2016
3,517
77
48
#4
It always bad when Christians disown you----drug use and weird feelings tell me about it----did 200 trips on acid (LSD)---got saved at 20---found a good Church were people cared and help me live right---was it a struggle---totally---wanted to go get wine on the way to Church sometimes and forget about my troubles----started praying with my pastor in tongues up to 4 hours a day---my mind literally got healed---our feelings can be worse than the devil---hang in there you can make it---been with the Lord for 40 years now----everything will work out----we need faith and patience...
 
T

thisguyisnyeh1

Guest
#5
#5
First off, talk to God, there is no better place you can go even if it defy''s all understanding for you to do so, it won't defy God's.
Second, drugs are a thing we've deemed wrong, they come from plants, which have been given to us for any use since the beginning of time. The decision they were not good was made by the UN, following the church, not founded on crimes given in commandments in the Bible. You perhaps found the one's you used personally unbeneficial, but as far as biblically goes you were within your right to try this and come to your own conclusion on them, does not lower you in the way of God. They are biblically legal.

So don't feel you did something so wrong in religious terms, drug use is there for things, God does not judge on the UN's laws more than he would judge on egypt's laws or greece. Don't feel guilty.

You went through an experience you had a right to go through, you went through strife, and came out of it, you should go on to the next thing. Keep going, you should be inpatient awaiting what more you are going to hav happen in this world. Keep on going, perhaps reconnect with your family now then your not on drugs, go out meet people, it was a ride isn't it, it keeps going, go to the next thing, and feel worthy, enough for happiness, go on to see what's there.
 
A

Adstar

Senior Member
#6
Jul 24, 2016
7,426
3,477
113
#6
Sasfraz7 said:
I am all new this. I literally felt helpless and so I googled help and it brought me here. I do believe in God with all my heart. I try everyday to be a good person and not judge anyone. Its hard to explain my life amd everything in one forum but anyone that cares enough for some advice ? I appreciate everything. I am 25 year old single female and I come from a church going, good family. Now when I say that believe me, my family has had its down falls plenty of times, I mean what family hasnt? I grew up so innocent and full of love for life. When I was 17 years old I fell in love with a guy who loved drugs. Instead of helping him, I joined him and starting doing drugs. Me and the guy broke up and for the next 7 years my life was new relationships (some good, others not so good) but my life always had drugs. I hit rock bottom in 2015 when my family discovered my heavy drug use and they disowned me. And I never blamed them. I mean it hurt cause thats when i needed them and their love the most but I understood. On may 15, 2015 (my birthday) that was the last day I ever touched a drug again. My paranoi had set in full force to where I thought everyone was trying to kill me or hurt me (this was due to my drug use) now 8 months later and my paranoi has went down tremendously. I will still have things that will set me off but for the most part i can control it. So heres the thing, I have straightned my life out and I try and talk to God except when I do i feel like he loves me but for some reason I feel like I have dissapointed him so much that i cant even talk to him or I feel like Im not good enough to talk to Him. Also, i feel like i know the solution to all my problems but no desire to fix it? I feel so stuck and so hopless and so alone. I have no friends anymore ( they all moved away) and im sure i could meet people but i have no desire too. Its like sometimes I think whats the point?? Okay you live life have a family raise some good kids with a good husband and go to church help people when you can and do Gods work but sometimes it feels like I will never have any of that because I have no desire for it. Why do i feel so numb? Why do i feel like no one cares? Is it something I need to fix? Why do i even feel like this. Im so thankful for my health and my life and God has never nade me go through something so horrible and im worthy enough to have the life I want except i feel theres no point in doing it. I feel like so many people are mean to me no matter how nice I am. People run all over me cause I used to stand up for myself but now I dont. I have mixed feelings all the time. I never feel closure anymore. I feel like I know everything and nothing all at the same time. But if you were to meet me you would think "oh that girl is a good person with a head on her shoulders" but im so good at hiding how I really feel. I dont go to church anymore but I really want too in hopes that it will really change my whole outlook on life. Im just typing from the heart and I know Im rambling. Any advice helps and if you see something I dont understand please help me....God Bless!!!!
Click to expand...
I think the drugs you have taken are having long term lower level effects on your mind.. Yes you are not as bad as you where before but i do not think the damaging effects of those drugs have been lifted fully off your back and your troubles with establishing relationships and maintaining friendships may come from the damaging after effects of those drugs..

I have also read some of the replies in this thread and i will also support the messages which declared that No human being is good enough for God.. But God still loves us anyway, And Jesus died to justify us, So if you feel unworthy then thats good because you're assessing the truth of the situation well.. So at lest your brain is still working well on that area :D

Be courageous and just start talking to God. Just speak to Him from your heart and don't get overly concerned about saying the right things.. God fully understands that you are a mere mortal just like the rest of us..

May God bless you and lead you on the Way to eternal life with Him..
 
S

sojames

Guest
#7
#7
listen ,god loves love u, in your voice tired of running, you need to rededicated your life, be refill with Holy spirit, refresh read the bible worship ,go to church separate from people that has no desire to change, as the Lord to put strong believers in your path, Pastor or pastor wives, youth ministers, its time to come to Lord to be healed and restored.I love u and will be praying for you.
 
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