New Christian asking for advice

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christina_m

Guest
#1
#1
Hey fellow youngsters. :D

I have just recently (ending of last year) come into faith and I need some help turning down requests of my friends to join them in activities that I'd like to avoid, such as going clubbing or drinking etc. in general.

I have never been the kind to go out except occasionally for friend's birthdays or other celebrations.

I don't want to sound rude nor offend them, or sound like I think I'm somehow better than them now. How do you gently let them down and let them know that this has nothing to do with them, instead it's for myself?

Thank you in advance.
 
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christina_m

Guest
#2
#2
christina_m said:
Hey fellow youngsters. :D

I have just recently (ending of last year) come into faith and I need some help turning down requests of my friends to join them in activities that I'd like to avoid, such as going clubbing or drinking etc. in general.

I have never been the kind to go out except occasionally for friend's birthdays or other celebrations.

I don't want to sound rude nor offend them, or sound like I think I'm somehow better than them now. How do you gently let them down and let them know that this has nothing to do with them, instead it's for myself?

Thank you in advance.
Click to expand...
Obviously forgot to mention that the friends I'm talking about here are not Christians themself.
 
Rabina217

Rabina217

Junior Member
#3
Dec 10, 2016
9
1
0
#3
First thing is pray for your friends.
Tell your friends that you don't get any benefits by clubbing and drinking.also ask them wether they do.
Tell them that you are changed .life is not just limited within those things. There is further purpose for being on earth.
Your friend may not understand you but God does.they maynot be happy with you but it doesn't matter but that matters wether God is happy with your decision or not.
 
Roughsoul1991

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
#4
Sep 17, 2016
8,784
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#4
Shoot tell them what you just told us in a very loving and caring way. Tell them you have found a new purpose in life and a love for Jesus. Tell them you no longer need any of that stuff because you are a new woman in Christ Jesus.

Best to be real so that they realize your faith is real. You are in for an amazing ride with Christ but at the same time you will be faced with trials. Put Jesus first in all things and you will be doing great.
 
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Naboth

Banned
#5
Feb 1, 2017
586
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#5
I mean as cliché as it sounds, I just say no. Sometimes they'll attempt a lil further convincing, but I just say no. I tell them to have fun and be safe. I have never had one friend yet react angrily or take offense to me refusing to drink or go the bar with them. At this point I've known them for years, and they know me, so they don't even bother asking anymore. Never been to club even and at this age few of them even go to clubs anymore so never really had to deal with that one.
 
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WineRose

WineRose

Senior Member
#6
Jan 3, 2017
3,631
265
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Row A, Column 9
#6
Simply say no everytime they ask you to do those sinful things, don't be scared, just do it. If they don't respect your decisions, just drop them as friends and forget them. You deserve better.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#7
#7
"No thanks, i'm not interested in doing that anymore."
 
W

Wild

Guest
#8
#8
Be honest with them , but be respectful about it. Make sure you stand your ground no matter what they say, and if they don't respect your new views and lifestyle then they are not true and real friends anyway...
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#9
#9
christina_m said:
Hey fellow youngsters. :D

I have just recently (ending of last year) come into faith and I need some help turning down requests of my friends to join them in activities that I'd like to avoid, such as going clubbing or drinking etc. in general.

I have never been the kind to go out except occasionally for friend's birthdays or other celebrations.

I don't want to sound rude nor offend them, or sound like I think I'm somehow better than them now. How do you gently let them down and let them know that this has nothing to do with them, instead it's for myself?

Thank you in advance.
Click to expand...
You were polite in what you said above. I suspect that would work.

BUT then you lose the fellowship of spending time with friends. Any chance you can ask them to celebrate in a different way? Not like you can't enjoy each other's company if you went out to a restaurant instead. We used to have birthday parties at each others apartments. Bowling seems to be a thing in the US. Don't know about your country, but there are plenty of things to do with friends to celebrate something like a birthday or a new job.
 
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OwzK

Banned
#10
Jul 27, 2016
458
7
0
#10
christina_m said:
Hey fellow youngsters. :D

I have just recently (ending of last year) come into faith and I need some help turning down requests of my friends to join them in activities that I'd like to avoid, such as going clubbing or drinking etc. in general.

I have never been the kind to go out except occasionally for friend's birthdays or other celebrations.

I don't want to sound rude nor offend them, or sound like I think I'm somehow better than them now. How do you gently let them down and let them know that this has nothing to do with them, instead it's for myself?

Thank you in advance.
Click to expand...
i've been through that, not too hard, as you've never been the kind who does that kind of stuff, why would it be so hard?

Just be casual, cool, turn them down. You'll still be friends with them you just don't do that. Like I have plenty of friends who do that sort of things too, but I don't go out with them, do the stuff they do or anything like that at all. Just be calm, casual and say "no". They won't force you, and as long as you say you don't wanna go and that it's just not your thing, it'll be ok.
 
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DavidA7

Guest
#11
#11
What fellowship does light have with darkness? Jesus ate with sinners but he taught them and went on his way. He didn't stay friends and sit there while they got drunk and such, do you know what I mean? Pray for guidance but I would recommend breaking ties with the people who aren't willing to change, don't burn bridges but distance yourself.
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#12
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
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#12
You can get two meanings from it.

1. Dont go into a Satanic Temple and have fellowship with them. (If you have to look at the whole chapter in 2. Corinthians Chapter 6.)
2. Some will say its about not haveing a relationship with a nonbeliever. The thing was that there was mainly Pagans who held their rituals and believes and we are not supposed to be together with them so we wont be forced into their sins.
 
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DavidA7

Guest
#13
#13
Amen Demi! And you see, it also says to not be conformed to the patterns of this world, and to be transformed by the renewing of our minds! So when we are with non believers and we are okay with what they're doing or dressing like them, talking like them, acting like them. We're not doing the will of God! Right?
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#14
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
1,949
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Germany
#14
Kinda bad to talk to me about that because I am with a nonbeliever who supports all ministry I am in and always wants me to tell him about it and God and all LOL.
I think its clearly about traditions and stuff that were practiced by the heathans.
When I dont understand a verse I go back to the situation back then, and the original texts. Obviously though being with a Satanist ( like in the Text Baal worshippers) you cant expect anything good coming outta that one. Especially knowing how they think and believe..meeeeeeeh naw trouble is sure if you go out with someone like that.. and thats what Paul is saying. If u mess with ppl like that theres only trouble, temptation and stress so stay off and away from them relationship wise

DavidA7 said:
Amen Demi! And you see, it also says to not be conformed to the patterns of this world, and to be transformed by the renewing of our minds! So when we are with non believers and we are okay with what they're doing or dressing like them, talking like them, acting like them. We're not doing the will of God! Right?
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DavidA7

Guest
#15
#15
Well how do you interpret "do not be unequally yoked with UNBELEIVERS?" He didn't say with satanists, he said unbelievers. Do you know what a yoke is?
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#16
Oct 13, 2014
6,877
1,949
113
Germany
#16
Go back into time when it was written and you will see..Plus the greek tells you more
[FONT=&quot]συζυγοῦντες
[/FONT]''with unbelievers'' translated..but meaning ''for the pleasure of unbelievers"
You were dealing with christo/-pagans back then.
which is the same as satanist to me.

Because they ''drawing a yoke strange to you."
and it is writtin [FONT=&quot]ἀπίστοις
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]...for the christopagan/nonbeliever[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]....forms the standard which determines the mode of thought and action of the Christian partner.

which means he interrupts repentance which is changing the way of thinking. This is what was going on back then.

[FONT=&quot]μὴ ἀδικεῖτε τὸ δίκαιον ἐπικλινόμενοι καὶ προσκείμενοι οἷς οὐ θέμις[/FONT],

which means it forms an unequal balance.

I can take this apart more but I dont have the time right now for it. God bless


DavidA7 said:
Well how do you interpret "do not be unequally yoked with UNBELEIVERS?" He didn't say with satanists, he said unbelievers. Do you know what a yoke is?
Click to expand...
 
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DavidA7

Guest
#17
#17
But that doesn't align completely with the nature of God, there are only two kingdoms, the kingdom of God and the kingdom of this world which is the devils. Jesus said if you're not for me you're against me. So any unbeliever is part of satans kingdom and therefore should have no part in the joining of two flesh into one in marriage or any sort of relationship with a Christian. I believe. But don't be offended please I just want to try to help
 
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DavidA7

Guest
#18
#18
I too was dating, actually she became a Christian, and even then! I prayed and prayed, first I felt God speak to me to not be unequally yoked because I knew that she didn't really love God she was just doing it for me, and second I realized it wasn't his will for me to be dating anyways. If he has someone for me to marry he will speak to me and I will marry them, he will do a lot better job than me putting me with someone else than I can. What God joins together let no man separate. Not what man puts together but God himself
 
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mariner845

Guest
#19
#19
The more time you spend focusing on The Lord and setting time aside for Him the more you will be emboldened and strengthened in Him to stand up for your faith and beliefs. Which includes making it easier to tell your friends No. At least ive found this to be true, facing a similar lifestyle change towards The Lord in my life lately.
 
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