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chrstnbelle

Guest
#1
Hi, I'm a 19-year-old girl and I am going through a very tough time right now. I am depressed and in need of new people to talk to. I came from a broken family and shouldered a lot of responsibilities at a young age. When I was 16, I lost my father to an accident and been cheated on and from then on, I have always felt so insecure and broken. That same year, my boyfriend and I got back together. We were bestfriends and our families were really close. Everyone we know looks up to the kind of relationship we had. He was the reason why I have a closer relationship to God now. Six months ago, my mom was detained due to business-related reasons. She was framed up by her competitors. I decided to stop schooling so we can use my tuition fee for my mom. I used to go to one of the most expensive colleges here in our country. At first my boyfriend was very supportive and so my family love him greatly. But then we had a financial crisis because my mom is the breadwinner. I took her role at home even if I am the youngest. It's really exhausting so most of the time, I am grumpy, lonely and insecure. Two months ago our electricity got disconnected until now. My boyfriend used to visit me as much as he can. But then one day, he started giving me a cold treatment. It's very similar to the way he was when he was cheating on me. I can't help but become paranoid and insecure especially because I am always just at home and didn't feel like sharing to my friends. Then one day, he decided to leave. He said he was too tired and didn't want responsibility anymore. We were together for 5 years. It's been weeks since he broke up with me but I am still in so much pain. I am at my lowest. He is much happier with his life now. I can barely sleep. I've been so dependent on alcohol for weeks. Please don't get me wrong, I am slowly finding my way. I worship and pray for hours each day. I always go to Church even on ordinary days. I have great faith in Him. I am just in so much pain and just so lost right now. I need someone to talk to.
 
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samsonbo

Guest
#2
I Praise God. God is helping in your way. Keeping you in our prayers.
 

88

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2016
3,517
77
48
#3
Hi, I'm a 19-year-old girl and I am going through a very tough time right now. I am depressed and in need of new people to talk to. I came from a broken family and shouldered a lot of responsibilities at a young age. When I was 16, I lost my father to an accident and been cheated on and from then on, I have always felt so insecure and broken. That same year, my boyfriend and I got back together. We were bestfriends and our families were really close. Everyone we know looks up to the kind of relationship we had. He was the reason why I have a closer relationship to God now. Six months ago, my mom was detained due to business-related reasons. She was framed up by her competitors. I decided to stop schooling so we can use my tuition fee for my mom. I used to go to one of the most expensive colleges here in our country. At first my boyfriend was very supportive and so my family love him greatly. But then we had a financial crisis because my mom is the breadwinner. I took her role at home even if I am the youngest. It's really exhausting so most of the time, I am grumpy, lonely and insecure. Two months ago our electricity got disconnected until now. My boyfriend used to visit me as much as he can. But then one day, he started giving me a cold treatment. It's very similar to the way he was when he was cheating on me. I can't help but become paranoid and insecure especially because I am always just at home and didn't feel like sharing to my friends. Then one day, he decided to leave. He said he was too tired and didn't want responsibility anymore. We were together for 5 years. It's been weeks since he broke up with me but I am still in so much pain. I am at my lowest. He is much happier with his life now. I can barely sleep. I've been so dependent on alcohol for weeks. Please don't get me wrong, I am slowly finding my way. I worship and pray for hours each day. I always go to Church even on ordinary days. I have great faith in Him. I am just in so much pain and just so lost right now. I need someone to talk to.
***(praying)***God can bring new people into your life--- forget about this past guy--- it sounds like he was no good for you---- you are young and have much responsibility--- be faithful so the Lord can promote you---- He can make your life better than ever...
 
Aug 16, 2016
2,184
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#4
Welcome chrstnbelle, i'm sorry about the tough times you've been going through in your life. I pray that the lord comforts you and fills your heart with his love. If you need someone to talk to i'm here as well as others. As the body of christ we are a family and care for you as God does.
 
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chrstnbelle

Guest
#5
Thank you so much for your kind words. I burst into tears upon reading them because I felt His love through you guys. During the first weeks of my depression, I was so lost. I felt so alone. I literally cried day and night and had sleepless nights for almost a month. I depended on alcohol and would always sneak out at midnight and find myself walking in the street. I was suicidal and didn't eat for days. I got so thin and had dark circles around my eyes. I throw up countless times in a day. I couldn't find any other way. It was exhausting. I realized I have no one else but Him. One night, I decided to attend a Praise and Prayer night in our Church. I felt so alive and renewed. But I am still hurting. I still feel so low, like a trash. I know He is preparing my way, I just pray I can gather enough strength and patience to wait for that day.
 
Feb 22, 2017
74
7
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#6
It's ok to recognize our human side while we proclaim to be Christians. That's the whole reason we need Jesus in the first place! We need His help and His grace to do for us what we cannot do on our own. Jesus was all man too when He was on this earth and the Bible says He was acquainted with grief (Isaiah 53:3). When Jesus looks at you He knows perfectly well what is means to be confined to the limitations of being human.

I don't know how old your ex boyfriend is, but it was obvious he hadn't matured to the point of grasping what it means to love unconditionally. Seems as though the stress from your family was something he didn't want to deal with anymore, because it brought him to a place of needing to be more responsible for his role in the relationship, and it got to be too much. Aren't you glad you discovered this sooner than later? This break-up revealed portions of his character, that if you were married to this guy, you would not have received the covering and protection you desperately needed.

I did a little bit of looking online, and came up with a link that shares some insights and guidelines to help you. Sometimes we need to allow the voice of someone spiritually mature to "talk" to us and give us another perspective on how to look at out present circumstances, in hopes of shaping our future ones. I sure hope these articles help.

When You May Need to End a Relationship | Focus on the Family
 
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sojames

Guest
#7
I tell young people that get to know yourself and your God .Have a relationship with God,read study the bible, find a church that believe in the full gospel before you get involve in another relationship .Find the will of God for your life. Love yourself, forgive and move on.But you have to make that choice to look toward your future in God
 
Jan 5, 2017
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#8
[FONT=&quot]lovingladyo4 said exactly what I was thinking. Don’t take your ex boyfriend’s actions as a reflection on you. It is better to know he just didn’t have the “right stuff” now as opposed to later. Life can be hard and it sounds like you have your hands full of difficult things. You are not alone and I think you know that. Jesus is always right there beside you. It is hard to get past the feeling of just not being enough, that things will never get better, that you are overwhelmed. I have been there too and I will tell you this: you are always more than enough to the right person and most importantly to the Lord, things will get better, and life will be something you enjoy. The big thing is to learn to value yourself and that is a hard thing for some of us, and something I know I work on daily. I am getting better. You will get better. Depression is a bummer and you don’t want it to stick around. Here is a resource that might be of help. I also recommend 2 books that you could get online used for not much. The least expensive is “Grace for the Moment” by Max Lucado; another is 90 Day of God’s Goodness by Randy Alcorn. Maybe your church has these in the library? Is there a pastor or someone you trust at your church that could help you? I have prayed for God to make His amazing love known to you, for others to come alongside, for you to find the path God wants you to follow. Blessings to you.[/FONT]
 
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chrstnbelle

Guest
#9
Why am I starting to hate myself more and more each day? I feel so worthless.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,862
9,581
113
#10
Stop that nonsense talk.. Read my depression testimony. :) Go to the Blog tab in my profile, and read it. You are far from worthless, sweetie. :)


Why am I starting to hate myself more and more each day? I feel so worthless.
 
Jan 5, 2017
17
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#11
I've been there, I know. It is a fact, however, that you are not worthless. Who do you think is telling you that? Not God. He couldn't stand to see you punished so He did it for you. How much love is that? Focus on that truth. Another thing that always helps me is to thank Him for something. It has made me more thankful in general and always lifts my mood. I thank Him for that beautiful tree I see on the way into town. I thank Him for the health I enjoy, esp when I look around and see how others are suffering. I thank Him for how the wind blows in the tall trees and reminds me of His power. Try it. You'll be surprised.
 
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Ariel82

Guest
#12
You are not alone. We are listening and praying with you.
 

brighthouse98

Senior Member
Apr 16, 2015
618
295
63
70
#13
Sister christnbell I understand the felling of both guilt, and depression. Many years ago young in my walk with Jesus, I told the Lord that I know he loves me,but my biggest problem is that how in the world can you love me?? I make mistakes daily,I fall short in so many ways daily to!

Two things Holy Spirit said to me in my prayer closet that I know will help you sis! 1. My son he said "I keep my peace the same way you are to keep yours! I chose to look at you in Phil 4:7-8! Why don't you look at yourself this way? Why would you allow your feeling to override my truth to you? and 2. Proverbs 8:17!!!! Which say's I LOVE!!!! those who love me!! And those who diligently seek me will always find me!" This changed everything for me sis! Nice to always have hope!( Rom 15:13!!!) and peace in believing him, rather then my feeling!!
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#14
Hi, I'm a 19-year-old girl and I am going through a very tough time right now. I am depressed and in need of new people to talk to. I came from a broken family and shouldered a lot of responsibilities at a young age. When I was 16, I lost my father to an accident and been cheated on and from then on, I have always felt so insecure and broken. That same year, my boyfriend and I got back together. We were bestfriends and our families were really close. Everyone we know looks up to the kind of relationship we had. He was the reason why I have a closer relationship to God now. Six months ago, my mom was detained due to business-related reasons. She was framed up by her competitors. I decided to stop schooling so we can use my tuition fee for my mom. I used to go to one of the most expensive colleges here in our country. At first my boyfriend was very supportive and so my family love him greatly. But then we had a financial crisis because my mom is the breadwinner. I took her role at home even if I am the youngest. It's really exhausting so most of the time, I am grumpy, lonely and insecure. Two months ago our electricity got disconnected until now. My boyfriend used to visit me as much as he can. But then one day, he started giving me a cold treatment. It's very similar to the way he was when he was cheating on me. I can't help but become paranoid and insecure especially because I am always just at home and didn't feel like sharing to my friends. Then one day, he decided to leave. He said he was too tired and didn't want responsibility anymore. We were together for 5 years. It's been weeks since he broke up with me but I am still in so much pain. I am at my lowest. He is much happier with his life now. I can barely sleep. I've been so dependent on alcohol for weeks. Please don't get me wrong, I am slowly finding my way. I worship and pray for hours each day. I always go to Church even on ordinary days. I have great faith in Him. I am just in so much pain and just so lost right now. I need someone to talk to.

Hello,
If you EVER need anyone to talk to please feel free to PM. Whenever. I will always answer ASAP.
I am praying for you dear child of our great Father. You are cherished to Him, always and forever, no matter what you do or where your life takes you.
 
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chrstnbelle

Guest
#15
Thank you so much for all your kind words. All of you have been a big help for me. I am starting to get back up on my feet now. I am learning to stand up on my own, for myself. Your words of encouragement had truly uplifted my spirit. I couldn't say I am in a completely different phase now because I still go through emotional breakdowns and my mind is still clouded all the time but I am definitely getting better. No matter how little the steps are, I know progress is still progress. I am praying and hoping that I will soon find my worth and build my confidence along the way. My mom will be out really soon and next month, I will hopefully go back to school. I have forgiven all the people who have hurt me but I want to stay away from them as far as possible. No matter how big the circumstances are, I know I will be able to overcome them because God will always strengthen me. I am glad that I spent this past days in prayer, worship and meditation. I am still in pain and always worried and afraid but I am working on it. Thank you all for praying with me. You are all in my prayers.
 

brighthouse98

Senior Member
Apr 16, 2015
618
295
63
70
#16
Indeed we are all a work in progress ( Phil 1:6) In the Kingdom of God are many doors,hence why we like Peter have been given many keys,the main key I have found on my keychain,is to get in and stay in his Kingdom( HIS VERY WORD DAILY!!) never lose this key! After some 33 years in the Lord,this key is the smallest,but produces the greatest fruit! My prayers are with you sis.STAY in his WORD daily! We cannot go without food for our body,our Spirit cannot go with God's Word either!
 
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Justyaaveraggurl2017

Guest
#17
I'm so glad you came here and shared with us. That's what Christian love does. It encourages fellow believers in Christ. Thanks for giving us the opportunity to do that for you. I have found that the greatest way worry and fear is driven out of me is by establishing my identity in Christ. The more who I am as a person as woman, is defined and established in Him the more His love drives away all my fears. 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. There is a great interactive online study that can help you do just that. You can find it at the link. Keep sharing with us. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
 

hjer2911

Junior Member
Mar 20, 2017
5
0
0
#18
I am so sorry for what you are going through! I know the Bible says "In this world you will have trials but take heart because I have over come the world." John 16:33. We will have troubles and tears here but Jesus is here and with us and He is working everything out and has a plan. Just because you don't see it now He is still working on it. It takes time for the heart to heal. You have a lot of pain and hurt in your life. I would seek a trusted Christian friend or Pastor or counselor to work through some of these issues. It takes time but it will be worth it when you have gotten all the pain out. I will be praying for you! Don't give up! Keep pressing on!
H
 
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chrstnbelle

Guest
#19
Hi. I haven't been here for weeks. I need help. I thought I was doing fine. I am hopeful, I know I have changed, but it just hurts so bad. I care so much for people only to find out that I don't matter to them. Their lives go on without me and they continue to be happy. My ex-boyfriend is so much happier now. He has a new girl. And I found out today that my younger brother is taking his side. I just want to be happy and whole again. I know He's the only one who can restore me and I know He has his own timing, but I just hope it will be sooner. It's becoming heavier and I'm overwhelmed. I looked forward to this month because I thought this will be a month of breakthroughs but it turns out, it's unsure if I'll be able to go back to school, my mom hasn't come home yet and I just spend my days stuck on my bed. My heart is weary.
 
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Abrewer10

Guest
#20
Hi, I'm a 19-year-old girl and I am going through a very tough time right now. I am depressed and in need of new people to talk to. I came from a broken family and shouldered a lot of responsibilities at a young age. When I was 16, I lost my father to an accident and been cheated on and from then on, I have always felt so insecure and broken. That same year, my boyfriend and I got back together. We were bestfriends and our families were really close. Everyone we know looks up to the kind of relationship we had. He was the reason why I have a closer relationship to God now. Six months ago, my mom was detained due to business-related reasons. She was framed up by her competitors. I decided to stop schooling so we can use my tuition fee for my mom. I used to go to one of the most expensive colleges here in our country. At first my boyfriend was very supportive and so my family love him greatly. But then we had a financial crisis because my mom is the breadwinner. I took her role at home even if I am the youngest. It's really exhausting so most of the time, I am grumpy, lonely and insecure. Two months ago our electricity got disconnected until now. My boyfriend used to visit me as much as he can. But then one day, he started giving me a cold treatment. It's very similar to the way he was when he was cheating on me. I can't help but become paranoid and insecure especially because I am always just at home and didn't feel like sharing to my friends. Then one day, he decided to leave. He said he was too tired and didn't want responsibility anymore. We were together for 5 years. It's been weeks since he broke up with me but I am still in so much pain. I am at my lowest. He is much happier with his life now. I can barely sleep. I've been so dependent on alcohol for weeks. Please don't get me wrong, I am slowly finding my way. I worship and pray for hours each day. I always go to Church even on ordinary days. I have great faith in Him. I am just in so much pain and just so lost right now. I need someone to talk to.


There is a scripture that comes to my mind that says that the lord will never leave us or forsake us. It continues by saying that he will go all the way with us, even unto the end of the world. In life, people will let us down. It's human nature and despite our best efforts we still have our faults and fall short. But when people fail us, God provides for us. This is proven in the book of Job when a man that was perfect and upright, so the bible tells us, lost everything he had in life in matter of a very short moments. He leaned on god and trusted him no matter what came his way. Here's the kicker. Not only did Job get back what he lost, but it was doubled because of his faith. We all go through trials and tribulations, but we must realize that God is the same God in the valley as he is on the mountain. My prayer is that God gives you comfort and deliverance from your struggles and that you may look back on these moments and see just exactly what God's plan was and what he has in store for you! God Bless !