I've been living with this diagnosis for awhile now and I've been trying to learn more about it. They say its a biological disease that has no cure. This seems incredibly bleak to me. Like I'll never be normal. I like to think Jesus can give me victory and in a lot of ways he has but its still a struggle. How should I tackle recovery? Is this a spiritual condition, purely biological or a combination of both? The symptoms can be quite debilitating and without Jesus I would have given up. Anyone else have this struggle?
paranoid schizophrenic
- Thread starter Absolem
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I have no doubt that realizing that is what is wrong has to royally suck. BUT what is the prognosis? (I really don't know.) Is it terminal? Is it progressive? Is it treatable? Okay, I know it's treatable, so there is a plus. But I also know the treatment won't completely mask it and won't heal it, so there is that sucky thing again. It's just not quite as sucky.
And, you're right. As long as you are in that body you won't be normal. Show me someone who is. For that matter, what is normal? Is someone with cancer normal? How about Parkinson? Epilepsy? Bad kidneys? Narcissism? No?
Right, they aren't "normal" either. Now the next question: Are "normal people" more people than non-normal/abnormal? Is someone with cancer less than someone without it? How about Parkinson? (You're getting where I'm going here by now, right?)
Not-normal is just that -- not normal. Okay, so you aren't. And you got the sucky side of not-normal. (I'd rather be a narcissist than have cancer. So narcissism isn't quite as sucky as cancer in my mind. That's what I mean by sucky side.)
Then again, I'd rather not have what is wrong with me either, because I can't live the life I planned. (I'm physically disabled, so I'm not-normal either.) That leaves us right back to, "So now what?"
So, now what? You don't get what you planned, but you still have to keep living. Actually, that's not quite as sucky as that sounds either. After all, we were born again, were we not? THAT is when "normal" went out the window. And THAT is our "So now what?" It's about us serving God and strengthened and abled by God, despite our disability. It won't ever look normal. But it will be always challenging and always upward. "Onward and upward," as my grandmother always said. (She wasn't normal either, but she was a believer. lol)
Figured out where God will have you go. Don't think God will have you go because you're disability? He had Jonah go, and Jonah was seriously disabled. Jonah's disability was a serious case of "But I don't want to." God is still going to take us where he wants us to go. Our choice is to go there by ship or by fish belly.
I truly get paranoid schizophrenic is a bad one. It's quite possible God will either heal or tame the "paranoid" part. He might not. Then you'd really have to trust in him, (which I get is very hard to do.) I do believe God has some of his kids become disabled specifically to remind us more often that we always need him. We always need him if we remember that or not. Do what you can to bring your life to all about God, and then watch him strengthen you to do just that despite the health issues. Sooner or later, you'll discover it's not as bleak as you thought. Always tough, but not bleak!
And, you're right. As long as you are in that body you won't be normal. Show me someone who is. For that matter, what is normal? Is someone with cancer normal? How about Parkinson? Epilepsy? Bad kidneys? Narcissism? No?
Right, they aren't "normal" either. Now the next question: Are "normal people" more people than non-normal/abnormal? Is someone with cancer less than someone without it? How about Parkinson? (You're getting where I'm going here by now, right?)
Not-normal is just that -- not normal. Okay, so you aren't. And you got the sucky side of not-normal. (I'd rather be a narcissist than have cancer. So narcissism isn't quite as sucky as cancer in my mind. That's what I mean by sucky side.)
Then again, I'd rather not have what is wrong with me either, because I can't live the life I planned. (I'm physically disabled, so I'm not-normal either.) That leaves us right back to, "So now what?"
So, now what? You don't get what you planned, but you still have to keep living. Actually, that's not quite as sucky as that sounds either. After all, we were born again, were we not? THAT is when "normal" went out the window. And THAT is our "So now what?" It's about us serving God and strengthened and abled by God, despite our disability. It won't ever look normal. But it will be always challenging and always upward. "Onward and upward," as my grandmother always said. (She wasn't normal either, but she was a believer. lol)
Figured out where God will have you go. Don't think God will have you go because you're disability? He had Jonah go, and Jonah was seriously disabled. Jonah's disability was a serious case of "But I don't want to." God is still going to take us where he wants us to go. Our choice is to go there by ship or by fish belly.
I truly get paranoid schizophrenic is a bad one. It's quite possible God will either heal or tame the "paranoid" part. He might not. Then you'd really have to trust in him, (which I get is very hard to do.) I do believe God has some of his kids become disabled specifically to remind us more often that we always need him. We always need him if we remember that or not. Do what you can to bring your life to all about God, and then watch him strengthen you to do just that despite the health issues. Sooner or later, you'll discover it's not as bleak as you thought. Always tough, but not bleak!
I'm sorry to hear about your disability. I'll pray for you. You make some good points and yes its treatable. Some have even made medication free Recovery's. That's my goal. I am born again. I'm a prophet actually.God has always been there for me. Even while I was a child. The odd thing is that when I decided to get serious about Jesus is when my psychotic break happend and I got diagnosed. Something has always been off with me and I'm not surprised I ended up with this. I'm just so grateful for Jesus you know. These delusions are powerful and without the word for that light id be lost as hell ( literally). I just want to be normal. I want Jesus to heal me. He healed that one cutter in the bible ( I use to cut too) so why not me? What, I have to take these pills and shots forever because I have an incurable mental disease?? Its not fair.
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But what is fair is we sin, therefore deserve separation from God, death, and hell. We aren't getting what's fair. Jesus got that in our stead. Unfair, but great deal!
And I do get you have hallucinations that feel just as real as the rest of life. No idea how you will see the difference, and no idea how you deal with that on a daily base. I do pray that the meds cut them down -- even make them disappear. (That would be great!) I think it's wonderful that we're born in a time where Man has figured out that. Think about it -- a couple hundred years ago and the best you get is the stinging delusions encourage by everyone that you are possessed. It's not that. It's biological. And they can treat some of it. Great times we live in.
As for taking the meds forever? Is it any different than Metformin for diabetics or Synthroid for bad thyroids? The meds do what we cannot, and help us to keep going, when doing nothing would make it far worse.
As it stands now, you do have a health problem very few understand, and no one knows exactly the cause nor the fix. Unlike diabetes and an under/over active thyroid, what you have is a stigma that many put on you because of their ignorance. Don't let them, and, through God, really absorb his strength on you, so you don't buy the lies!
Most of us don't get what you have. I only know what I know by reading about it. (Great short story in Reader's Digest last year by someone who wanted to remain anonymous, but told what it was like for her/him to live with it. It really does help for people to try and get what it's like, at least a little bit. For you, it would help, so you don't feel so alone.) But I do get it is different for you then most, and the mind plays tricks on you that don't feel like tricks. Worse yet, no way of really telling what is and isn't a trick.
Many of us on this site are disabled in one way or another. Many others will tell us we are what we are because we don't trust God enough. We have to fight that every day too. The reality is God will do what he planned all along to do with or without our permission. Since his plans are for our good and his glory, (the scripture in my signature), all of it -- even the stuff hard to take -- is for our good. It may take a lifetime to get that. (I do sometimes, don't other times), but the more we get that, the less likely it is that anyone can steal our trust in God. And, since it is his plan to have us as his children, no one can steal that from us specifically, because he won't. They may "borrow" it from us, but they can't steal it forever.
God is for us, even if he never made us to be "normal." Better than fair, because what was fair really did stink and we did that to ourselves. He made it fair by suffering and dying for us. He makes it better than fair by helping us to see that promise completely fulfilled. We are no longer separated from God!
And I do get you have hallucinations that feel just as real as the rest of life. No idea how you will see the difference, and no idea how you deal with that on a daily base. I do pray that the meds cut them down -- even make them disappear. (That would be great!) I think it's wonderful that we're born in a time where Man has figured out that. Think about it -- a couple hundred years ago and the best you get is the stinging delusions encourage by everyone that you are possessed. It's not that. It's biological. And they can treat some of it. Great times we live in.
As for taking the meds forever? Is it any different than Metformin for diabetics or Synthroid for bad thyroids? The meds do what we cannot, and help us to keep going, when doing nothing would make it far worse.
As it stands now, you do have a health problem very few understand, and no one knows exactly the cause nor the fix. Unlike diabetes and an under/over active thyroid, what you have is a stigma that many put on you because of their ignorance. Don't let them, and, through God, really absorb his strength on you, so you don't buy the lies!
Most of us don't get what you have. I only know what I know by reading about it. (Great short story in Reader's Digest last year by someone who wanted to remain anonymous, but told what it was like for her/him to live with it. It really does help for people to try and get what it's like, at least a little bit. For you, it would help, so you don't feel so alone.) But I do get it is different for you then most, and the mind plays tricks on you that don't feel like tricks. Worse yet, no way of really telling what is and isn't a trick.
Many of us on this site are disabled in one way or another. Many others will tell us we are what we are because we don't trust God enough. We have to fight that every day too. The reality is God will do what he planned all along to do with or without our permission. Since his plans are for our good and his glory, (the scripture in my signature), all of it -- even the stuff hard to take -- is for our good. It may take a lifetime to get that. (I do sometimes, don't other times), but the more we get that, the less likely it is that anyone can steal our trust in God. And, since it is his plan to have us as his children, no one can steal that from us specifically, because he won't. They may "borrow" it from us, but they can't steal it forever.
God is for us, even if he never made us to be "normal." Better than fair, because what was fair really did stink and we did that to ourselves. He made it fair by suffering and dying for us. He makes it better than fair by helping us to see that promise completely fulfilled. We are no longer separated from God!
I think Lynn (Depleted) has some good things to say here! I don't know if I have ever met a "normal" person, and these days, I subscribe more to the "we are broken and in need of inner healing" idea.
Like Lynn, I am disabled. I have severe and painful Rheumatoid Arthriis, which is destroying my joints, and tendons, and will probably be damaging my organs soon, including heart, lungs, brain, kidneys, liver and skin. And if the disease doesn't get me, the powerful drugs will! I am on three cancer drugs. My best dream is that I will be able to stay on them till the day I die. I just injected two of these drugs today. This is my great day, because I know I am going to enter another week of feeling better than not being able to physically get out of bed. These meds often fail, one way or another, and I am out of new meds to try, so being on meds is a good thing, to me!
And having a chronic illness leads to severe depression. Been there, done that! But God has helped me tremendously, as I know he is helping you! Along my travels, I ended up in a health forum, with a lot people with bipolar disorder. I became friends with them. I saw how the ones on meds were stable, and relatively normal. I watched people go off their meds and go near psychotic, and never the insight to see what being "med free" was doing to them. I eventually started a private forum, and they have very kindly accepted me as their own. They have given me support for my RA, like people with RA have not done. Plus, they really understand depression. We share our hearts and lives with each other. One woman has terminal cancer, and she is the most honestly positive person in the group. What a gift from God she has been for us all! I am also a constant witness to the love of God in that forum, as many are not Christians, even atheists!
It sucks terribly to be young and have serious mental illness. But, I don't think right now, getting off meds should be the goal. If you are stable, why tempt fate to send you back to that terrible state of psychosis? I know God will help you through this. The Word of God is something you will always be able to trust, and God will change you and deal with you.
I hope you have been given counseling into the strategies for coping with your disease. I don't really know what they are, except for taking your meds and probably making sure you get enough sleep? I hope your doctor or therapist is helping you with this.
Have you seen "A Beautiful Mind"? It is the amazing journey of a man with paranoid schizophrenia, and yet, he comes up with some kind of mathematical theorem that changed the whole world of economics. (Not a mathematician myself!). Which goes to show, the unique talents and abilities you have, can still be used, in spite of the meds and disease.
Theologically, we live in a Fallen World. There is no perfect life or person. Even those with good health, will tell you, they have other issues. (Marriage, financial, lost loved ones, etc) But I do believe we have an Advocate and Comforter in the Holy Spirit. (John 16). He will lead us through the valleys of life, which we all have to cross. I like to think of life as a journey. We can walk down the broad road that leads to destruction, or we can fix our eyes on Jesus, and walk up the narrow road that leads to him. Another book you might like to read is Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan. It is an excellent book on this journey! And remember, we will be perfect one day. We will be "normal.' (Whatever that means! LOL) That will be when we see Jesus face to face (1 John 3:2; 1 Cor. 13:12) That is when either he returns, or we go to be with him!
You have made the right decision in turning to Christ. He will be your guide. Maybe he will heal you, or maybe he won't. Maybe he will teach you amazing things, because of your illness, not in spite of it. Here is a life verse God gave me, which helped me when I was at my worst.
"More than that, we rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character and character produces hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out by the Holy Spirit who was given to us." Romans 5:3-5
Like Lynn, I am disabled. I have severe and painful Rheumatoid Arthriis, which is destroying my joints, and tendons, and will probably be damaging my organs soon, including heart, lungs, brain, kidneys, liver and skin. And if the disease doesn't get me, the powerful drugs will! I am on three cancer drugs. My best dream is that I will be able to stay on them till the day I die. I just injected two of these drugs today. This is my great day, because I know I am going to enter another week of feeling better than not being able to physically get out of bed. These meds often fail, one way or another, and I am out of new meds to try, so being on meds is a good thing, to me!
And having a chronic illness leads to severe depression. Been there, done that! But God has helped me tremendously, as I know he is helping you! Along my travels, I ended up in a health forum, with a lot people with bipolar disorder. I became friends with them. I saw how the ones on meds were stable, and relatively normal. I watched people go off their meds and go near psychotic, and never the insight to see what being "med free" was doing to them. I eventually started a private forum, and they have very kindly accepted me as their own. They have given me support for my RA, like people with RA have not done. Plus, they really understand depression. We share our hearts and lives with each other. One woman has terminal cancer, and she is the most honestly positive person in the group. What a gift from God she has been for us all! I am also a constant witness to the love of God in that forum, as many are not Christians, even atheists!
It sucks terribly to be young and have serious mental illness. But, I don't think right now, getting off meds should be the goal. If you are stable, why tempt fate to send you back to that terrible state of psychosis? I know God will help you through this. The Word of God is something you will always be able to trust, and God will change you and deal with you.
I hope you have been given counseling into the strategies for coping with your disease. I don't really know what they are, except for taking your meds and probably making sure you get enough sleep? I hope your doctor or therapist is helping you with this.
Have you seen "A Beautiful Mind"? It is the amazing journey of a man with paranoid schizophrenia, and yet, he comes up with some kind of mathematical theorem that changed the whole world of economics. (Not a mathematician myself!). Which goes to show, the unique talents and abilities you have, can still be used, in spite of the meds and disease.
Theologically, we live in a Fallen World. There is no perfect life or person. Even those with good health, will tell you, they have other issues. (Marriage, financial, lost loved ones, etc) But I do believe we have an Advocate and Comforter in the Holy Spirit. (John 16). He will lead us through the valleys of life, which we all have to cross. I like to think of life as a journey. We can walk down the broad road that leads to destruction, or we can fix our eyes on Jesus, and walk up the narrow road that leads to him. Another book you might like to read is Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan. It is an excellent book on this journey! And remember, we will be perfect one day. We will be "normal.' (Whatever that means! LOL) That will be when we see Jesus face to face (1 John 3:2; 1 Cor. 13:12) That is when either he returns, or we go to be with him!
You have made the right decision in turning to Christ. He will be your guide. Maybe he will heal you, or maybe he won't. Maybe he will teach you amazing things, because of your illness, not in spite of it. Here is a life verse God gave me, which helped me when I was at my worst.
"More than that, we rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character and character produces hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out by the Holy Spirit who was given to us." Romans 5:3-5
