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Thread: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

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    Default Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    My friend wants to have an abortion. She is afraid to tell her parents. What should I tell her?

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    Default Re: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    hmm. That is difficult.

    I think my first advice is: - Don't hit her in the head with the bible, that could make her defensive no matter how good the arguments are.

    - Try to find out why she wants that, maybe she has worries that can be eased (ie financial aid, emotional support ,,)

    - Tell her (in better words than I am using now) that having an abortion can have major consequences for her mental health
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    Senior Member shrimp's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    Does she want an abortion because she is afraid or as a kind of birthcontrol?
    Is she aware of all of her options and resources?
    I would advise finding all the information you can of options resources and support And THEN she should talk to her folks about it if she is still under their rules. Then she should make an educated decision.
    I sincerely hope that after seeing what kind of help she can get that she will choose life.
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    Default Re: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    She wants an abortion because she is 20 and does not want to have a kid. She wants to have a career. She says she is totally fine with having an abortion. She believes that her life is as important to preserve as the unborn baby's life.

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    Default Re: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    Tell her that she may severely regret this choice. There are other options such as putting the child up for adoption. I can understand her being afraid to tell her parents but the best thing to do is to tell them the truth. She is fortunate to have you as a friend during this troubled period of her life. Glad to have you join us. Welcome to CC.
    M & M's melt in your mouth and not in your hands.

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    Senior Member shrimp's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    https://prolifeacrossamerica.org/need-help/
    Pregnant? Need Help? | National Right to Life
    Just where I would start. find a local pregnancy help center (do not go to an abortion clinic expecting help and accurate info because they make money on abortion not saving the life of the child and often don't care for the safety of the mother)
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    Default Re: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    i did. she said she won't regret it as much as losing out on the life she has dreamed of since we were kids. she doesnt like doctors and is uncomfortable with her body and does not want to go through the stress of having a pregnancy she doesnt want. I think she will tell her parents eventually. she is afraid they will disown her.

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    Default Re: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    Quote Originally Posted by shrimp View Post
    https://prolifeacrossamerica.org/need-help/
    Pregnant? Need Help? | National Right to Life
    Just where I would start. find a local pregnancy help center (do not go to an abortion clinic expecting help and accurate info because they make money on abortion not saving the life of the child and often don't care for the safety of the mother)
    Really? what happens???

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    Default Re: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    She doesn't need an abortion to be successful. As mentioned, she can put the child up for adoption.
    This is why abortion is antiwoman. It's basically saying you are not strong enough or smart enough and can't have success unless you kill your offspring.
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    Default Re: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    Quote Originally Posted by shrimp View Post
    She doesn't need an abortion to be successful. As mentioned, she can put the child up for adoption.
    This is why abortion is antiwoman. It's basically saying you are not strong enough or smart enough and can't have success unless you kill your offspring.
    I don't think she feels like she is not strong enough or smart enough. She just doesnt want the baby at all. she does not want to go through a pregnancy AT ALL. shes made that very clear. she doesn't want "a lifetime of punishment for having sex"...

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    Default Re: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hollyhawk View Post
    I don't think she feels like she is not strong enough or smart enough. She just doesnt want the baby at all. she does not want to go through a pregnancy AT ALL. shes made that very clear. she doesn't want "a lifetime of punishment for having sex"...
    Your friend seems to have a problem with accepting responsibility for her actions. The only one who is going to be punished is her unborn child.
    M & M's melt in your mouth and not in your hands.

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    Default Re: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hollyhawk View Post
    I don't think she feels like she is not strong enough or smart enough. She just doesnt want the baby at all. she does not want to go through a pregnancy AT ALL. shes made that very clear. she doesn't want "a lifetime of punishment for having sex"...
    Being pregnant for 9 months is NOT a lifetime of punishment. Her body will certainly go back to normal after her breasts 'dry up'. and if she chooses adoption then she is not responsible for the child, the new parents are and she can rest easy knowing the kid(s) can have a chance at an amazing life. Rather than spending the rest of her life with an aborted child on her mind.
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    Default Re: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    [QUOTE=tourist;3087906]Your friend seems to have a problem with accepting responsibility for her actions. The only one who is going to be punished is her unborn child.[/QUOTE

    I guess she doesn't think that something she sees as love (she says shes in love with her boyfriend) should be punishable by being forced to have a baby. i dont know.

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    Default Re: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    Wow she sees her baby as punishment? Can you imagine telling your kid that you thought they were punishment when they had you? Honestly I think abortion is out of the question besides abortion is tricky it doesn't always work well for both the child and the mother.
    And if her parents disown her then they didn't deserve a daughter like her to begin with, A parents job in this situation is talk with their daughter give her encouragement and comfort and help guide her in the right direction. I understand her not wanting to be pregnant but even so this is a an actual living being inside her one that God took the utmost care in making inside her down to every hair that will be on it's head, knowing this is she really willing to have it killed? Can she live with that for the rest of her life?
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    Default Re: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    'Forced to have a baby' The primary function of sex IS TO HAVE CHILDREN, that is the reason why it is pleasurable. Not the other way around.
    Children are not a punishment and nine months won't kill her. uncomfortable at times? yes painful at times? yes
    is it worth it in the long run? Absolutely. no matter what she decides to do with the baby after.
    Sounds like to me, she just wants to use abortion as a birthcontrol. Rather than accepting the conscequences of her actions, she wants an easy out. She will find that abortion is not an easy out. My grandmother is in her 60's and regrets her abortion. The pain NEVER goes away.
    "The researchers found that, compared to women who carried to term, women who had aborted in the year prior to their deaths were 60 percent more likely to die from natural causes, seven times more likely to die from suicide, four times more likely to die of injuries related to accidents and fourteen times more likely to die from homicide. Researchers believe that the higher rate of deaths related to accidents and homicide may be linked to higher rates of suicidal or risk-taking behavior"
    Fact #11: Abortion is more dangerous than childbirth.


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    Default Re: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    Quote Originally Posted by shrimp View Post
    'Forced to have a baby' The primary function of sex IS TO HAVE CHILDREN, that is the reason why it is pleasurable. Not the other way around.
    Children are not a punishment and nine months won't kill her. uncomfortable at times? yes painful at times? yes
    is it worth it in the long run? Absolutely. no matter what she decides to do with the baby after.
    Sounds like to me, she just wants to use abortion as a birthcontrol. Rather than accepting the conscequences of her actions, she wants an easy out. She will find that abortion is not an easy out. My grandmother is in her 60's and regrets her abortion. The pain NEVER goes away.
    "The researchers found that, compared to women who carried to term, women who had aborted in the year prior to their deaths were 60 percent more likely to die from natural causes, seven times more likely to die from suicide, four times more likely to die of injuries related to accidents and fourteen times more likely to die from homicide. Researchers believe that the higher rate of deaths related to accidents and homicide may be linked to higher rates of suicidal or risk-taking behavior"
    Fact #11: Abortion is more dangerous than childbirth.
    she doesnt believe that the baby is a baby! she just believes that its a clump of cells. that it has potential to become life. she said we allow vegetables to die all the time. i

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    Default Re: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    Quote Originally Posted by Blain View Post
    Wow she sees her baby as punishment? Can you imagine telling your kid that you thought they were punishment when they had you? Honestly I think abortion is out of the question besides abortion is tricky it doesn't always work well for both the child and the mother.
    And if her parents disown her then they didn't deserve a daughter like her to begin with, A parents job in this situation is talk with their daughter give her encouragement and comfort and help guide her in the right direction. I understand her not wanting to be pregnant but even so this is a an actual living being inside her one that God took the utmost care in making inside her down to every hair that will be on it's head, knowing this is she really willing to have it killed? Can she live with that for the rest of her life?
    so true. That is what a good parent would do. i think her parents would be compassionate towards her. she is just scared. i said in a another post, she doesn't believe that its a baby yet. just a potential to become a baby.

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    Default Re: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hollyhawk View Post
    she doesnt believe that the baby is a baby! she just believes that its a clump of cells. that it has potential to become life. she said we allow vegetables to die all the time. i
    Sounds as if your friend's thought process is immature. What's going to derail her career plans is not the baby but rather her lack of wisdom. This person is in dire need of the Word of God. Having tried to reason with her all you can really do now is to pray for her to make the right choices for her life.
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    Default Re: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    Not sure what answers you're expecting. Everything everyone has offered you claim she's already refuted. Some people just will not listen. And you can't force or control her. If she wants an abortion bad enough you won't talk her out of it. She's not on the fence and asking you, she informed you of what she already wanted.
    Chances are she's going to have to contend with the results if her choice. Many women do regret the choice, but not all. But ultimately it's her life and her choice. You have spoken your peace, perhaps now it's time to stop trying to push your beliefs on her and let her do as she wishes.
    And I say that as someone who is against abortion, but it's not our jobs to pressure, force or coerce people into doing the Godly thing. God gave humanity the truth and we have to choose it or reject it. And live with the consequences when we reject it. A good example for Christians.
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    Default Re: Help! My friend wants an abortion.

    Just tell her no! Tell her it's murder! Who's the father anyway? Does he know? What a horrible girl.
    Don't be sympathetic to her. A baby murdering, entitled, coward, run around is what she is. Maybe she should have thought about her "career." before she got involved with boys before marriage. If she couldn't tell her parents the same thing applies.
    It's not that hard to have a baby. It's a blessing from God and a lot ofwomen would kill to have a child. Why not give it up for adoption? No, she'd rather kill it I bet. The fact that she's telling you this and just expecting you to be okay or cool with it is sick.
    You are not her friend if you let her do it.
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