Frustrations

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Stephitysteph

Guest
#1
I've been rather frustrated for a few years on the matter of friendship in the Christian faith. I'm 26, and have been searching for others around my age who enjoy worshipping, Bible studies, and just hanging out. I am so frustrated with not being able to find genuine friends who seek the Lord. I need people to be accountable to, people I can trust, people I can just sit and worship with, people who can help one another through the hard times. I've been to so many churches and ministries and have had no luck. Am I meant to just be alone in this? I know Jesus was alone, but he had disciples that he called friend. I was under the impression that God put 6billion people on the earth so we could be here for one another but maybe I'm wrong.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#2
It's not an age thing, it's a modern church thing. For years the idea of what a Christian 'should' be is someone that is married, has kids and is constantly busy and has no time for interactions with others, except the once a week clique of married moms getting together for lunch.
Actually it's closer to 7.5 billion. we hit 7 billion years ago. But if the majority of these people are not Christians, and thus not acting as Christians, that takes out billions. Then take out people who have wrong ideas of why we are here on earth and that takes out millions more Christians.
This is actually one of the reasons the internet seems to be such a social tool. People are too busy, and those that do seek interaction have trouble finding it. Until you come online. Sometimes that turns into a 'real life' thing.
So don't view this is having anything to do with you personally, it's just the way things are for many now.
 
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Stephitysteph

Guest
#3
I respect your opinion, but I disagree. I don't really think you understand what it is I was getting at.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
55,248
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#4
Hello Steph, welcome to CC! Do you have a home church? You mention going to a number of churches, but of not having any luck finding what you are looking for, which really seems to be a friend of like mind, heart toward the Lord, and age. Sometimes it takes a while to get to know people, and time to allow others to get to know you. Do you live in a fairly well populated area? I ask because if you are in any way isolated, it could certainly impede your search for kindred spirits. Fellowship is very important. Did you join any Bible studies of the churches you have looked into already?
welcome.gif
 
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NoNameMcgee

Guest
#5
I've been rather frustrated for a few years on the matter of friendship in the Christian faith. I'm 26, and have been searching for others around my age who enjoy worshipping, Bible studies, and just hanging out. I am so frustrated with not being able to find genuine friends who seek the Lord. I need people to be accountable to, people I can trust, people I can just sit and worship with, people who can help one another through the hard times. I've been to so many churches and ministries and have had no luck. Am I meant to just be alone in this? I know Jesus was alone, but he had disciples that he called friend. I was under the impression that God put 6billion people on the earth so we could be here for one another but maybe I'm wrong.

i have also went to 5 "churches" that added to Gods word
or took away from it...

i have no friends who actively seek God either, or have read the bible and keep reading it daily (IRL)

thats why i came here....
maybe its online

but its a gathering of believers and a "church" in the original definition of the word


i hope God uses this place and it becomes a blessing to you

i have met more than a couple true brothers and sisters here...


welcome to CC
 
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Stephitysteph

Guest
#6
I attend the church I grew up in. I reached out to other churches seeking to find others in my shoes and found none. I've joined hundreds of Bible studies through churches and other ministries in my area and found much of them it to me, such as family matters, or other things I cannot relate to. Don't get me wrong I have learned lots and many studies were great, but it's not been what I need. I live in an area that is decently populated and I figured out of 28 churches there ought to be a few people my age. I feel incredibly defeated. I know fellowship is incredibly important, I just cannot find it.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,243
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#7
Perhaps you need just really one good friend, such as a boyfriend, who will be your best friend. There is no need to be alone in this world if you can avoid doing so. You could be there for each other. I have found out that the more friends that one has the least significant each one becomes. I do understand what you are saying though about hanging out with like-minded people of your own age. For what you have described if would have to be a fairly large church congregation to have a bunch of young people willing to hang out with each other. Jesus was alone on this earth but He had his heavenly father and the Holy Spirit. Keep looking and continue to pray about this. Hopefully, you will be able to make some like-minded friends on this site. Glad to have you join us. Welcome to CC.
 
Aug 16, 2016
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#8
God does desire for people to be there for one another. However as the scriptures says only few are on the path to eternal life and many are on the path to destruction. There are people around our age who seek the Lord but there are very few tbh. Much of people around the age range are very worldly. Times have changed drastically since Christ walked the earth. Nowadays God is being disregarded in every way & institutions are even teaching against God. In which influences the youth. The media also plays a part in brainwashing / conditioning young adults minds to be concerned with worldly things opposed to things of God .
 
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Stephitysteph

Guest
#9
I am uninterested in having online friends. It's not anything against technology or the people here, but what I need in my life isn't going to work online.

I'm not going to sacrifice having friends for a boyfriend. I'm currently not dating for personal reasons and don't see how that would ever be a solution to needing positive influences in my life.
 
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NoNameMcgee

Guest
#10
I am uninterested in having online friends. It's not anything against technology or the people here, but what I need in my life isn't going to work online.

I'm not going to sacrifice having friends for a boyfriend. I'm currently not dating for personal reasons and don't see how that would ever be a solution to needing positive influences in my life.
what is it you "need"?
 
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NoNameMcgee

Guest
#11
i mean that CANT be found in the Word


if you "need positive influence"

id say scripture is a good place to start

and you arent as alone as you think
 
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Stephitysteph

Guest
#12
I need people I can call up after a bad day and they come hangout with me. I need people that can sit down in person for a Bible study where things can be discussed without the miscommunication that texting brings, people that can gather with their instruments and worship God together. I need people in person to help keep me in check.
 
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Stephitysteph

Guest
#13
It's not just positive influence, also I understand that what I'm seeking isn't found in scripture word for word. I will say however that every person in every stage needs different things. I study scripture every day.
 
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NoNameMcgee

Guest
#14
I need people I can call up after a bad day and they come hangout with me. I need people that can sit down in person for a Bible study where things can be discussed without the miscommunication that texting brings, people that can gather with their instruments and worship God together. I need people in person to help keep me in check.
fair enough...

i personally like to discuss what God reveals to me, and dont have many issues with miscommunication sharing online since i work 12 hours every day and know no one who will listen in person ...


but this place has a way of keeping people in check if youre open and honest


as for hanging out..

well i visted my grandma for a couple hours 8 months ago

hanging out isnt really something i have done in awhile

i wish i was more helpful

but maybe someone else will be easier to relate too

:(


ill remember you in my prayers

God bless
 
Feb 7, 2015
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#15
I attend the church I grew up in. I reached out to other churches seeking to find others in my shoes and found none. I've joined hundreds of Bible studies through churches and other ministries in my area and found much of them it to me, such as family matters, or other things I cannot relate to. Don't get me wrong I have learned lots and many studies were great, but it's not been what I need. I live in an area that is decently populated and I figured out of 28 churches there ought to be a few people my age. I feel incredibly defeated. I know fellowship is incredibly important, I just cannot find it.
Have you thought about approaching it with the idea of what THEY need, instead of what you need? That seems to be the way Jesus lived among us.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,243
16,252
113
69
Tennessee
#16
I am uninterested in having online friends. It's not anything against technology or the people here, but what I need in my life isn't going to work online.
I used to think along the same lines as you about online friendship but I found out differently. Perhaps you could join a bowling league at work or something like that. Or find at least one friend at work who thinks like you do and has several other friends as well. That way you would have a group. Either way this is probably going to be a one step at a time process. I wish you well in this endeavor. I have said a little prayer for you as well.
 
Aug 16, 2016
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#17
I am uninterested in having online friends. It's not anything against technology or the people here, but what I need in my life isn't going to work online. I'm not going to sacrifice having friends for a boyfriend. I'm currently not dating for personal reasons and don't see how that would ever be a solution to needing positive influences in my life.
Sometimes we have to make use of what's available to us if what we desire isn't a possibility.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#18
I respect your opinion, but I disagree. I don't really think you understand what it is I was getting at.
That's a bit contradicting. Either i'm misunderstanding, or i am understanding but you disagree.
I could've gone on about my thoughts on the failures of most modern churches and how it would affect what you're going through, but your tone on this site is quite unfriendly, as well as contradicting.
You don't want onilne friends, yet you come online to ask advice on how to find friends.
Then you proceed to dismiss everything suggested to you.

I'll leave with one last piece of advice before abandoning this thread, though i have no doubt you will scoff at this, as you do all the others.
Have you considered God has you in this situation for a reason? Your so bent on defining and fulfilling what 'your' needs are, have you sought God to find out what He sees your needs are?
Once i had a very sudden and unexpected event happen in my life. My first instinct was to call people i knew for support. Everyone i knew was unavailable for whatever reason. At night. I anguished for a bit, frustrated at my inability to find help. Finally it dawned on me to go to God. So i did. I prayed and cried for a long time. When i was done i was amazed at how much better i felt. And this feeling stayed with me, not that i no longer hurt, but i felt sustained and strong enough to get through my days much easier than i anticipated i could.
See... God coordinated it so that what i Thought i needed, other people, wasn't available, because what i Really needed was Him at that time.
We do need others at times, and sometimes others are a hindrance. Perhaps God has something waiting for you that no other person can provide, but your eyes are not there. You are trying to do it your way, not His. And once you do things His way and learn what HE needs you to learn, He will open the doors for others to enter your life.
 

Socreta93

Senior Member
Jul 28, 2015
2,244
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#19
What type of churches do you go too? Many churches have different denominations and beliefs. Maybe go to one that is closest to your beliefs. The Pentecostal churches usually have great young adult populations
 
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Stephitysteph

Guest
#20
I thought this was a site for Christians to come and chat. Instead it is place for people to verbally hurt others. All I wanted was friends and I have been made to look like a selfish terrible person. This will be my first and last post here. Not feeling the love. God bless.