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Christian Young Adults Forum

Young adults and silly people: post your topics here, and respond to others.

Thread: Running Away!

  1. #1
    Senior Member jrccomputer's Avatar
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    Default Running Away!

    I have found that in life we reap what we sow. I have made many mistakes in my life, and I am thankful for such a merciful God. I am a proud man of God, but I know I constantly fall short. My struggles have been extreme this year, and I can say this year has been one of the hardest of all my life. I have had a hard life, but I am not here for a sob story. From being in and out of jobs, not being able to hold down anything, to me being unable to be complacent, to my relationships, and I feel like this years has been all mistakes.

    Mistakes allow us to grow, and as young adults we can learn great things from our challenges and struggles. I know that I deserve judgement and I know many judge the decisions I have made but they are all my own. I full accept my mistakes and sins, they are all my own to bare.

    Recently, my fiancée and I bought a house. We have been struggling in our relationship and she can’t seem to see that. Every time we would try to talk we would fight. Sadly, I push everything aside...and I said that I was going to keep at it with her (I am not a quitter). When you love someone you make it work, right? Well not really! We don’t work together well at all, and being in this house trying to be flexible to her when she is extremely pushy. She tries to control my life this frustrating to say the least! These sign were there before, but again I pushed them to the side.

    I had the opportunity to move to Florida with my family, and my parents welcomed me openly. I had to choose in 2 days whether I would stay with my fiancée or go with my parents to Florida. This tore me apart, my parents mean the world to me, and I love my fiancée. I felt the right choice was to stay, in Minnesota with my fiancée.

    Some people might ask why we wouldn’t move to Florida together. My fiancée, has told me only recently that she is completely unwilling to ever move to Florida. This has bothered me a lot because my mother and father are getting older and being 1600 miles away from them scares me to death.

    I am stuck here, going in and out of jobs, with little to no money, with a fiancée who wouldn’t consider my feelings or the things I care about, all while missing my family. I honestly just want to pack up my car and run away. I know I have made so many mistakes, but this feels like the biggest one. I just don’t think I should be in this relationship anymore but I am stuck now...and I am reaping what I showed. I could have been in a warm tropical climate, sitting on a beach with my family. Now I am stuck in a cold snowy state, with a women who does not love me but seeks to control me.

    Always remember: You reap what you sow, but also remember God is always good. God always has a plan for our life. Sometimes we learn lessons, other times things work out.

    I am legitimately thinking of packing up my car, leaving all my earthly possessions behind and moving to Florida, am I crazy? Am I a massive awful sinner? Do you think I am right? Go ahead tell me what you think. God bless
    "The only way to learn strong faith is to endure great trials." - Gerorge Muller


    Don't Give Up, Don't Give In!!

  2. #2
    Senior Member Willie-T's Avatar
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    Default Re: Running Away!

    How you gonna move when your name is on that mortgage?
    __________________________________________________ ________________________________________
    “True eloquence consists of saying all that is necessary, and only that which is .” François Duc De La Rochefoucauld (among others)
    I am the righteousness of God, in Christ Jesus.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Depleted's Avatar
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    Default Re: Running Away!

    Quote Originally Posted by jrccomputer View Post
    I have found that in life we reap what we sow. I have made many mistakes in my life, and I am thankful for such a merciful God. I am a proud man of God, but I know I constantly fall short. My struggles have been extreme this year, and I can say this year has been one of the hardest of all my life. I have had a hard life, but I am not here for a sob story. From being in and out of jobs, not being able to hold down anything, to me being unable to be complacent, to my relationships, and I feel like this years has been all mistakes.

    Mistakes allow us to grow, and as young adults we can learn great things from our challenges and struggles. I know that I deserve judgement and I know many judge the decisions I have made but they are all my own. I full accept my mistakes and sins, they are all my own to bare.

    Recently, my fiancée and I bought a house. We have been struggling in our relationship and she can’t seem to see that. Every time we would try to talk we would fight. Sadly, I push everything aside...and I said that I was going to keep at it with her (I am not a quitter). When you love someone you make it work, right? Well not really! We don’t work together well at all, and being in this house trying to be flexible to her when she is extremely pushy. She tries to control my life this frustrating to say the least! These sign were there before, but again I pushed them to the side.

    I had the opportunity to move to Florida with my family, and my parents welcomed me openly. I had to choose in 2 days whether I would stay with my fiancée or go with my parents to Florida. This tore me apart, my parents mean the world to me, and I love my fiancée. I felt the right choice was to stay, in Minnesota with my fiancée.

    Some people might ask why we wouldn’t move to Florida together. My fiancée, has told me only recently that she is completely unwilling to ever move to Florida. This has bothered me a lot because my mother and father are getting older and being 1600 miles away from them scares me to death.

    I am stuck here, going in and out of jobs, with little to no money, with a fiancée who wouldn’t consider my feelings or the things I care about, all while missing my family. I honestly just want to pack up my car and run away. I know I have made so many mistakes, but this feels like the biggest one. I just don’t think I should be in this relationship anymore but I am stuck now...and I am reaping what I showed. I could have been in a warm tropical climate, sitting on a beach with my family. Now I am stuck in a cold snowy state, with a women who does not love me but seeks to control me.

    Always remember: You reap what you sow, but also remember God is always good. God always has a plan for our life. Sometimes we learn lessons, other times things work out.

    I am legitimately thinking of packing up my car, leaving all my earthly possessions behind and moving to Florida, am I crazy? Am I a massive awful sinner? Do you think I am right? Go ahead tell me what you think. God bless
    And you see no problems living with your fiancee? Buying a house, no less.
    Lynn

    Still woman, but no lady.

    And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Rom. 8:28

  4. #4
    Senior Member Lighthearted's Avatar
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    Default Re: Running Away!

    I've been where you're at. You have some big decisions to make. I'm not here to judge you. What I'm giving you is something you should think about.
    You are young and you have a lot of years ahead of you to keep screwing up like I did. You aren't living in God's will for your life. You are holding on to control. As long as you continue on like you are, you will waste years...and I mean years of what could be a great life until you learn to give God the reigns. I don't need to tell you what you're choosing to do that God has warned isn't good for us. Sin, my young brother is expensive! You can spend years paying for the mistakes you've already made. Willy-T is right. You have a mortgage now that you're responsible for. If you feel this girl doesn't love you and she makes you unhappy, you need to break up with her. You know it can get worse...you could end up becoming a single father...a little blessing could turn out to be a valuable lesson that would change your life forever. You know what you're doing is wrong. Time to grow up and start acting like a man. You've made choices you can't run away from just because you miss mom and dad. You need to do what the Bible says and gird up your loins like a man! Start praying and ask God to help you give up control of your life and help you get the mess you've made resolved. He has all the answers you need. And if you're having sex with your fiance'...stop now before she traps you little brother!
    Is your Jesus light shining?

  5. #5
    Senior Member longtrekker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Running Away!

    .
    Hi JRC

    Your fiancé doesn’t love u ?! – thank your lucky stars u found that out before u tied the knot dude.


    Sell the house even if it takes a while ( take a lose if u have to..) and go live with your folks in sunny Florida til u get back on your feet.

    And yeah like Lighthearted sez; don't get trapped!


    Your only 23 mon – live a little!

    Proverb 21:9


    Strawberry Alice: "You just beat the tar out of an innocent man!"

    Little Bill: "Innocent?! - innocent of what!"


  6. #6
    Senior Member Maka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Running Away!

    I think you need to be completely open and honest with your finance and yourself. Life isn't always greener on the other side. Before you give up, have a honest heart to heart talk with her. Maybe you'll agree it's better for both of you to move on. But, You're an adult now, accept responsibly for your actions and don't run away. I'm praying for you both.
    When I'm plagued with pain And filled with fear
    I run to you, and you alone

  7. #7
    Senior Member Magenta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Running Away!

    I think it is wonderful that you have such a loving connection with
    your parents that you want to uproot your life to be with them. How
    will it be possible to do so when you have no income and a mortgage?
    Oh, yes, you could hash it out with your girl and decide to sell the house.
    But if she is as controlling as you say (not that I doubt you), she may
    not give up without a mighty fierce fight. Controllers don't let go.


    Embrace the Grace and Rejoice in His Everlasting Mercy and Love

  8. #8
    Senior Member Jenizona's Avatar
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    Default Re: Running Away!

    Quote Originally Posted by jrccomputer View Post
    ...and I said that I was going to keep at it with her (I am not a quitter). When you love someone you make it work, right? Well not really! We don’t work together well at all, and being in this house trying to be flexible to her when she is extremely pushy. She tries to control my life this frustrating to say the least! These sign were there before, but again I pushed them to the side.

    ..with a fiancée who wouldn’t consider my feelings or the things I care about....

    I know I have made so many mistakes, but this feels like the biggest one....

    I just don’t think I should be in this relationship anymore...

    but I am stuck now...

    Engagements end all the time! Some for very good reasons! This one should end (I know, it's sad!!) because you can't talk to her.

    What an engagement should look like: When you are getting ready to get married, you should be excited, working together to make it happen, planning together, and you love spending time together!! You don't like arguments, but when they happen, you work it out in a respectful manner, and you always end up hugging!


    Ending a relationship vs. being a "quitter": Ending a relationship that is bad for you is not being a quitter! It is doing a "course correction" on your life! You need to stand up and demand excellence in your life! Be the leader and do the right thing!

    By the way, packing up and just bolting to Florida may not be the best thing! You need to have a mature conversation with your fiancee. Decide what's going to happen. Give yourself a deadline, like one week, for you both to figure out what's going to happen with the relationship. Are we going to fix this, or move on? Some things can not be fixed. Getting out of something that can not be fixed is not quitting, it's showing wisdom and discernment.

    Keep us posted! Good luck! :-)

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