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um. . . .at my church the pastor preaches in spanish and for the ppl who don't understand spanish they have little boxes with headphones that connect to a mike in the back that translate what the pastor is saying. its a small church so there are like 3 ppl who don't speak spanish and we're all black. >_< so during the announcements the person who was translating decided to stop so my youth pastor graps the translator mike in the back and says " so if you ever have a REALLY hard poop and it just DOSEN'T wanna come out you just gotta UHHHHH and push it out! just keep going at it till it comes. and i'm an old man i know about these poops. even if theres a peanut stuck in it, scraping its way down the side, just keep UHHHH and pushing."
we're the black ppl sitting there laughing our eyes out and crying holding out sides. and all the ppl around us are like whats going on with them. >_<
we're the black ppl sitting there laughing our eyes out and crying holding out sides. and all the ppl around us are like whats going on with them. >_<
Hm...not sure I could say what the MOST awkward was, but my Dad asks open questions/allows for diologue durings his sermons. One he always asks is what jumped out at you from the scripture of that day. One day, something spoke to me on a completely different wavelength than him. It ended with him stumped, and the church rolling in laughter. My choir mates of the time elbowed me in glee, and to this day I think that all but about three people of that church still think I just wanted to catch him off guard.
The kind of church I grew up in was one where speaking in tongues happened more often than I now believe is "normal." Anyway.. I had heard many a tongue speakers but this Sunday morning was different.. In the middle of service some guy just stood up and starting yelling as loud as he could.. Nonsensical things. This lasted a good two minutes.. Then there was a very, long, awkward silence as the guy on the stage OBVIOUSLY tried to think of something that sounded Godly as an interpretation. Needless to say, I was angry and never returned to that church.
I suppose that wasn't awkward/funny for me.. But it was awkward in general.
I suppose that wasn't awkward/funny for me.. But it was awkward in general.
I used to work the soundboard and projector booth in my old church. I was mostly in charge of operating the computer and putting the song lyrics up on the projector. Well, one week I was working on about 2 hours of sleep, compliments of a huge project I'd been working on for class til about 4am. I dozed off and my face fell on the keyboard. A bunch of windows and stuff started popping up on the projector and I woke up when I heard the pastor say into the mic, "Uh... Vikki are you doing that?"
Twas awkward >.<
Twas awkward >.<
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Well. This was when i was going to a baptist church. There was actually a couple awkward moments. The first being when the one kid fell asleep because the preacher prayed for like 20 minutes straight. He was snoring and everything second pew from the front. There was another instance where someone farted in the middle of church. I'm trying to think but i can't think of any other awkward moments.
J
There was a woman once who answered her phone in the middle of the service and she started talking full voice. She hung up but got three more calls. Finally someone spoke with her and asked her to step outside. She was in the front row so she took her phone, walked all the way down the isle talking I'll voice.
Then there was a time when my friend fell off the stage during a baby dedication.
Then there was a church that I was performing at. It was a tiny COGIC church and the people were honoring their 90 yr old pastor who was finally retiring so they took a special offering. BUT they had each person come up and announce what their offering was for the elderly couple. People started competing. It started at $20, but after about 5 people a man came up and declared, "the Lord
told me to write you a check for $1000. He wrote it right there and gave it to them. I wanted to run away!
Then there was a time when my friend fell off the stage during a baby dedication.
Then there was a church that I was performing at. It was a tiny COGIC church and the people were honoring their 90 yr old pastor who was finally retiring so they took a special offering. BUT they had each person come up and announce what their offering was for the elderly couple. People started competing. It started at $20, but after about 5 people a man came up and declared, "the Lord
told me to write you a check for $1000. He wrote it right there and gave it to them. I wanted to run away!
We had this one pastor who used to love tying in personal life stories with the sermon's message, and he did it well. He was telling this very lengthy story about his childhood and as soon as he finished he looked around with this sort of confused look in his eye then said, "I don't remember what that had to do with anything... moving on!" and quickly kept going. We all got a pretty good laugh out of it.
S
I'm kinda an oddity at my parish. Hardly anyone genuflects before going into a pew any more, most simply bow, and no one (me included) genuflects at the altar anymore unless it's one of the rare Tridentine Masses we have every now and then.
But I least I've never done the "Judas shuffle" that much I can say.
But I least I've never done the "Judas shuffle" that much I can say.