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Hello everyone, I'm a new poster, and very recently I've ran into some issues with my faith.
Over the past couple years I've struggled with a pornography, not to the point where I've become addicted, but to the point where it was affecting me both mentally and physically. During this time period I turned my back on God, and subsequently lost my faith. I began asking questions such as "Does God Really Exist?", and some similar to that. I even considered myself an atheist for a few months during this time period.
Very recently, I'd say in the last 3 weeks, I've fought against my vice and have been successful. However, it still felt as though something was missing. I had anxious feelings constantly, as though something was tugging at my heart, wanting me to do something more. Well, a couple days ago, I realized what it was. God wanted me to open up to my Mother, who is a very devoted Christian, and through her realize that He was the missing factor in my life. Let me tell you, it wasn't easy, but almost immediately after talking with my mother it felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. We talked and talked, and finally prayed together.
That night, I had a personal time with God, as I used to before my struggles. I prayed for a good half hour, all the while crying my eyes out. (Something I don't normally do
) I asked Jesus into my heart again, and asked Him to continue to give me strength. I've made a commitment to now read my Bible every night, and read those little Daily Bread books, as well as a chapter out of the God Is Real book that my mother lent me.
Even after all that though, I still get feelings of anxiousness. I can't imagine an individual who is recovering from alcoholism, or other vices feels any different after going through a period of rejection from that particular vice. So my real question is, how do I continue to fight this struggle, and what should I be asking God to help me with? Again, I still feel as though something is missing in my life, but as it stands I'm just chalking that up to my recent confession and the aftershocks that usually come with something like that. Have any of you also fought against a struggle similar to mine? How did you deal with it?
Thanks for the replies, and as always "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
Philippians 4:13
Over the past couple years I've struggled with a pornography, not to the point where I've become addicted, but to the point where it was affecting me both mentally and physically. During this time period I turned my back on God, and subsequently lost my faith. I began asking questions such as "Does God Really Exist?", and some similar to that. I even considered myself an atheist for a few months during this time period.
Very recently, I'd say in the last 3 weeks, I've fought against my vice and have been successful. However, it still felt as though something was missing. I had anxious feelings constantly, as though something was tugging at my heart, wanting me to do something more. Well, a couple days ago, I realized what it was. God wanted me to open up to my Mother, who is a very devoted Christian, and through her realize that He was the missing factor in my life. Let me tell you, it wasn't easy, but almost immediately after talking with my mother it felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. We talked and talked, and finally prayed together.
That night, I had a personal time with God, as I used to before my struggles. I prayed for a good half hour, all the while crying my eyes out. (Something I don't normally do
) I asked Jesus into my heart again, and asked Him to continue to give me strength. I've made a commitment to now read my Bible every night, and read those little Daily Bread books, as well as a chapter out of the God Is Real book that my mother lent me. Even after all that though, I still get feelings of anxiousness. I can't imagine an individual who is recovering from alcoholism, or other vices feels any different after going through a period of rejection from that particular vice. So my real question is, how do I continue to fight this struggle, and what should I be asking God to help me with? Again, I still feel as though something is missing in my life, but as it stands I'm just chalking that up to my recent confession and the aftershocks that usually come with something like that. Have any of you also fought against a struggle similar to mine? How did you deal with it?
Thanks for the replies, and as always "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
Philippians 4:13
