Don't even know where to begin

[lifewarrior]

I feel like I deal with so much stuff physically, mentally, emotionally and spirtually that trying to be a Christian doesn't even seem worth it, cause it all gets to me and I eventually fall back in my spirtual weakness of lusting after the flesh constantly. I have no friends, I suffer terrible anxiety that causes me to have severe head and neck tension in public at times. The scars of dealing with that for years has made me feel uncomfortable around people most times to where I can't really open up and talk to them that well in order to allow myself some friendships. When I make an effort, just due to keeping myself away from people so long to avoid the physical and emotional pain, and not getting chances practicing communicating myself to others as many do growing up, I just don't feel good about myself most of the time talking to people and always feel slightly shy. I'm estranged from my family, I have pain in my jaw a lot due to randomly developing a tmj disorder out of nowhere. Half of these things I've mentioned I've been dealing with for years now. I don't even wanna be happy, cause I know it's just gonna hurt really bad when one of my problems brings me back down to reality again. I know my life isn't the worst, cause I know other people who deal with more daunting challenges than I do. But I sure do feel like I deal with a lot sometimes. I'm supposed to lean on God, but I can't seem to do that with all this, so I just go to my comfort drug of pornography, and then feel even worse about myself and my life. One of the few things even keeping me going is my devoutly Christian girlfriend that God blessed me with a little over a year ago who loves me and really accepts me for who I am. Even though at times that's had it's challenges, it's helped keep me going, and just being back in college again after my anxiety problems took me out a little while, to potentially get my degree in something and start a life for myself not solely dependent on my parents kinda helps too. Anyway, kinda feel good to share all this, even if no one has all the answers for me.

[shemaiah]

Bro pour out your heart to Jesus. He said I will never leave you nor forsake you. He said come unto me all who are heavy burdened and I will give you rest. There is hope for every fallen man. A righteous man may fall a thousand times, but He will get up a thousand and one times. You may not measure up to much in life, but you are still a treasure in God's eyes. From now on, try spending a lot of time developing a relationship with Christ. Fast from anything that pulls you down if you have to. Cry out to Him. God bless

[lifewarrior]

Thank you for your encouraging words. I don't know how it's all gonna work out, but I love Jesus and I know I need Him more than anything. If things are gonna be bad in my life, I at least wanna be on good terms with my God, and doing things for Him that I know He wants me to do to help make other people's lives better too.

Originally Posted by lifewarrior

I at least wanna be on good terms with my God,

You can check that one off of your list since you have accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and saviour!

Keep seeking, and you will find the answers you seek!

[wwjd_kilden]

as has been said: No matter how many times you have failed, if you repent, you will be forgiven.

“Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
“I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven”

Now if God expects US to forgive over and over again, why would not He? (assuming we truely regret and try to change that is)

God expects us to follow His words yes, but He is also a God of love and mercy. Keep asking for His help, (and, the hardest part: be patient, He will not always make things happen in the blink of an eye)

Not from the bible, but still biblical

A single thread in a tapestry though it's colour brightly shines
can never see it's purpose in the pattern of the grand design.

[happyface369]

I suggest you begin by thanking God for all that you do have that is good and for alllowing your trials and tribulations to strengthen you. Then i would ask Him to help you with your relationship skills with other people. Go to your family and humble yourself and ask their forgiveness. Be loving to them and try to help them find the right way.