How hard is it to find a Christian girl that's my age that's a virgin.

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May 4, 2009
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#1
How hard is it to find a Christian girl that's my age that's a virgin.
Basically I met a girl at chruch tonight. She was really easy to talk to, but then I found out she had a kid and I lost interest.(Short version, had a longer one typed but my computer shut down and I didn't want to type it again)

I'd still perfer a virgin for a wife by a lot, though I think I would accept that isn't a virgin as long as she does have something like herpes or hiv. Though I don't think I'd want someone that has a kid.

But yeah, basically this is making wonder how hard is to find a church girl that's about my age that's a virgin. btw, I consider a virgin as someone that hasn't gone fauther than tounge to tounge making out.(Even then I'd perfer that she hasn't even done that.)
 
D

DTS

Guest
#2
Nawww thats really hard now days.. Theres so many teens falling into temptation and there are so many young girls out there who are getting pregnant so early in life. Its really hard to even find guys who are virgins. It's a pitty really. But I guess God has the right person for each of us. We just gotta wait upon the Lord to come thru for us right?
 
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savedby_grace

Guest
#3
Let GOD bring her to you. Just keep on praying for that right girl for you.
 
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allforchrist10

Guest
#5
i understand what ur going through see i'm 20 & a virgin but guys i date or even talk to dont like it and stop talking bc i believe greatly in purity, but good luck, its very hard finding a guy or girl like that.
 
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Strong1

Guest
#6
Docthackzero?....meet, Allforchrist10! ;)
 
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Ninotori

Guest
#7
I'm a christian girl who's a virgin who's only ever been kissed two or three times, and never even had a real relationship.

It's pretty much because I'm just not attractive though. That's the crappy part. The one's who are virgins are virgins less because of integrity, but because of nature.
 
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jimmydiggs

Guest
#8
I wouldn't make virginity a requirement for marriage. A consideration, sure, I'll grant that, but certainly not a requirement. Especially if it was prior to salvation.

Yes, it is certainly not a joyful thing to know that another man has been with your wife in such a way, but, let us also consider something else. Dothackzero, you and I both have this in common: We have the loins of a virgin, and the eyes of a whore. You and I both have been very much involved in the consuming of pornography. What do you think a potential wife might think about that? Knowing that we have looked at other women, in such a manner as that. That's something I think would be very difficult for a young woman to handle, especially if it is a young woman who has remained chaste and not viewed pornography.


Just some thoughts to consider.
 
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Aqua_Girl09

Guest
#9
I'm a christian girl who's a virgin who's only ever been kissed two or three times, and never even had a real relationship.

It's pretty much because I'm just not attractive though. That's the crappy part. The one's who are virgins are virgins less because of integrity, but because of nature.

so that's pretty sad but its true, there's almost always a time where a girl had that "chance" to do something, and the "prettier ones" get those chances more then he less attractive girls, now my best friend is BEAUTIFUL, shes gorgeous. the kinda girl that you DON'T bring when you're looking for a date. >_^. and shes never even held a guy's hand before, but that only cause emotionally shes extremely strict. so though shes never done anything with a guy its going to be extremely hard to go get her let her guard down long enough for you go get in.

everyone has their mistakes, if i were i guy what I'd really want is a girl who has never "finished" while doing the do, that way the best they would ever feel is what they get in marriage. it sux to know what "the best" is and then get married and realize your husband can't do it like your last boyfriend could.

Good luck finding her, i wouldn't settle cause it might haunt you all of marriage if you really can't let it go that shes been with someone else, but if you can I'd really try to lower my standards a bit as long as shes high in the spirit. ^_^
 

Nattmaran

Banned [Reason: ongoing "gay Christian" agenda and
Mar 31, 2012
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#10
I wouldn't make virginity a requirement for marriage. A consideration, sure, I'll grant that, but certainly not a requirement. Especially if it was prior to salvation.
Wow... for once I agree with you :) That must be the first.
 

Nattmaran

Banned [Reason: ongoing "gay Christian" agenda and
Mar 31, 2012
291
0
0
#11
But yeah, basically this is making wonder how hard is to find a church girl that's about my age that's a virgin.
I don't know how hard it is but I would say that your priorites are all wrong. You should try to find the right girl for you. Someone that you can fall in love with, trust, feel safety with, share and build a life with. Somine that you can share your troubles with. Somone that dares to speak against you if she thinks that you are making a misstake. Someone that can support you in both life and faith when things get hard...

This has nothing to do if she is a virgin or not. It is not that her soul is defiled just because she has lost her virginity.

For you to have these requests that she should not even have kissed and something like that sounds a bit shallow and selfish I think.
 
May 4, 2009
1,534
6
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#12
I'd still perfer a virgin for a wife by a lot, though I think I would accept that isn't a virgin as long as she does have something like herpes or hiv. Though I don't think I'd want someone that has a kid.
I find it funny that everyone seems to be missing this part.
 

Nattmaran

Banned [Reason: ongoing "gay Christian" agenda and
Mar 31, 2012
291
0
0
#13
I'd still perfer a virgin for a wife by a lot, though I think I would accept that isn't a virgin as long as she does have something like herpes or hiv. Though I don't think I'd want someone that has a kid.
To live with someone that is HIV positive is of course a challenge even though medicines are really good today. Many get HIV from their parents or blood transfusions (and of course sexuality and sharing needles if they are junkies) Herpes is quite common as a disease but it is rarely seen since it is so long time between the periods it comes up to the surface. And people can have it from birth as well.

Both HIV and Herpes are not connected to if a person is a virgin or not.

I still say... go for the person... not the virginity...
 
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allforchrist10

Guest
#14
Docthackzero?....meet, Allforchrist10! ;)

thanks :D lol
 
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timbo2computers

Guest
#15
How hard is it to find a Christian girl that's my age that's a virgin.
Basically I met a girl at chruch tonight. She was really easy to talk to, but then I found out she had a kid and I lost interest.(Short version, had a longer one typed but my computer shut down and I didn't want to type it again)

I'd still perfer a virgin for a wife by a lot, though I think I would accept that isn't a virgin as long as she does have something like herpes or hiv. Though I don't think I'd want someone that has a kid.

But yeah, basically this is making wonder how hard is to find a church girl that's about my age that's a virgin. btw, I consider a virgin as someone that hasn't gone fauther than tounge to tounge making out.(Even then I'd perfer that she hasn't even done that.)
Why would you care? the past is the past people change, look at there heart not the failures.

Don't be a douche your no better than her. every one stuffs up from time to time!
 
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Rahrah86

Guest
#16
Well, to answer your question I think there are still virgins out there. I mean, I'm 25 and have never been kissed or been in a relationship. Not because I'm unattractive, just cos I was really, really shy and had no confidence before I got saved, and then after being saved I developed standards :) I won't date someone unless I feel God has blessed the realtionship. And so far, each time, either God has said no, or I found out something about the guy that was a deal-breaker (like he was flirting with 2 of my best friends at the same time as me...cheers buddy!!).

As far as having a kid goes, I agree with Timbo2computers...there was a guy I liked and he really liked and I found out he had a kid. At first I was like "I have held out on dating and kissing. Why would I want to date someone who clearly has totally different morals to me??" God challenged me hecticly - sin is sin. His sin just happened to have a very visible consequence. I am no better than him. The irony is, that when I got over that and prayed about dating the guy, God said no. Lol. But He taught me a valuable lesson, for which I'm grateful.

So ja...hold out for a virgin, but don't write off those who have messed up. We all have a past. Some of us just have a harder time 'hiding' it.
 
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iraasuup

Guest
#17
Okay, I've already answered this in the same thread you posted in the singles forum.

But I'm gonna copy & paste my same answers here too, cos I think the penny hasn't quite dropped yet, and the point needs to be made:

Here's my opinion on the matter (for what it's even worth).
My question is this:

Are you going to completely rule out any girl who isn't a virgin? What if she became a Christian later in life after she'd already had sex? Isn't that why Christ died, to forgive us of our sins.. to wash away our iniquities so we are no longer bound by them?

What if the girl you meet has come out of a broken marriage, or what if her husband died and she was widowed. What if that same girl who is no longer married (for whatever reason) had been a virgin when she married and had only had sex with her husband.. what.. and now you can't possibly love her because she's had sex? Waht if she was raped. If that choice to remain a virgin was taken from her brutally... nope sorry, can't love you.. you're not pure?!

You are entirely missing the point my friend. It's admirable that you want a girl who has saved herself, and it's a very special gift that a wife can give to her husband. There is nothing wrong with wanting this, but do not overlook every girl who may not fall into this box you've checked for yourself.

Are those girls supposed to be kicked to the corner and rejected because of a mistake in their past? What if God viewed us that way? If He did, EVERY ONE of us would be rejected. None of us would know the redemption and freedom that comes through Christ, because EVERY ONE of us is a sinner.

So, while I think it's a wonderful thing to aim for, I encourage you not to hold it as a necessity. You might meet a wonderful godly girl who would make you a fantastic wife, but she may not be a virgin. At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself is it really that big a deal? If it was a mistake in her past and she has moved on, she has sought forgivness, she has turned from that path and lived a Godly life since, could you not still fall in love with her? Sorry, but in my opinion, you are being very shallow if you feel you simply cannot ever love a woman who is not a virgin.


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I see both sides of the coin, but am speaking purely from the heart of a girl.

If guys can learn any one thing at all about a girl is that it is her natural desire to be loved. Truly loved. Loved for who she is completely. A girl needs to know that her guy thinks she is the most beautiful woman in the world, even when she's feeling her worst. She needs to know her guy will always look at her heart and love her for who she is, regardless of her mistakes, because she will have made mistakes (and continue to, and will probably at some point let her guy down). She needs to know he will love her ans support her through tough times, and good times. She needs intimacy and security. We all know how love is described in the bible, patient, kind, longsuffering, KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS, endures to the very end.

The reason I say all of this, is because (a) I am a girl, and (b) I am a girl who has been in a marriage where I was anything but loved. I was forced to constantly strive for attention, I wasn't pretty enough, thin enough, didn't have good enough hair or a big enough chest, I didn't do enough around the house, or cook the healthiest meals. I was too messy.. bla bla bla. Not once did he tell me I was beautiful, I had to force him to tell me he loved me... only to find out now he never really did. He had made his share of mistakes, as had I, but for some reason I could love him unconditionally, and he couldn't look past what he saw as my flaws. I was emotionally abused for 7 years. I held down a job and kept a roof over our heads, he sat at home and complained about life. He refused to allow us to have children, but demanded more sex, it was just one thng after another. I wanted to work our marriage out, but he had no desire. He wanted out, and he doesnt even want to try. He says never loved me, and that he has moved on... and by moved on I mean with the internet flousys he communicates with through online profiles...while we're still legally married. Sex to him was just that, sex. I was there to please him when the need arose. There was no love, no intimacy. I felt used the whole time. I tried so many times to talk to him, to encourage him, and try to 'connect' and develop intimacy in that area of our lives. It never happened. I only felt guilt... from him because apparently that too (the sex) was never good enough.

Why am I telling you this? Because I am a woman like any other who has made her share of mistakes. Yes, I was a virgin when I married, but obviously Im not anymore (I saved myself for man I thought would love me and value me as his wife, but clearly didnt). Yes, I allowed myself to love him, and now I'm paying the price and enduring the pain. Does that mean I'm eternally destined to live a single life. Does my past mean no Godly man can ever really show me what true love is?

Guys need respect, just like girls need love. A woman is going to find it extremely hard to respect a guy whom she feels doesn't love her, and the reverse could be said. How can a guy fully love a girl who doesn't respect him? The two things go hand in hand in any relationship. I (just like every other woman on the planet) crave to be fully loved, loved in a way I never have been, in a way I've never experienced by a man who loves God with everything he is. I want to find a guy whom I can love and fully respect as my husband. I want to know what that is like, and experience love the way God intended it to be. Is there anything wrong with that? I don't think so. But it seems like this thread is saying otherwise.

My point to all of this, is, as humans we all make mistakes, but it shouldn't devalue us. It shouldn't make us unworthy of another human beings love. Loving the unlovable, the hurting, the suffering is exactly what our mandate is from God. Why do we find it easy to look past the mistakes of others around us, and preach how they can have freedom and forgiveness, but we can't look past a potential spouse's shortcomings in their past... can they not have that same freedom and forgiveness?

I'm not offended by Dothackzeros desire. I understand it, and I think it's a wonderful thing to strive for, but I'm showing the flipside of the equation, and trying to shed a little 'reality' light on the situation. I'm simply trying to encourge him (and other guys) to get to know a girl. Really get to know her, for who she is as a person. Look at the qualities about her that attract you, look at her relatonship with christ and the way she is with people around her. Those are the elements that REALLY matter.. if she is also a virgin, well bonus for you... if she is not.. is it REALLY a big deal?

That's all I'm saying.
 
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iraasuup

Guest
#18
I agree with what the others have said. A wonderful desire to strive for, but let's not forget that we're all human. We have all sinned and made mistakes, yet GOD loves us enough to let his grace and mercy wash those sins into our past, never to be held against us again.

I think when you grow up a little more, you will have a better understanding of true love, and what it means to look past the what you meet deem the unlikeable qualities in a person.

I hope you find a lovely, Godly girl, but be prepared that God might have someone in mind for you, outside of all the boxes you have checked, and you have to ask yourself are you ready for WHOEVER God has chosen for you, regardless of her past? Can you commit to choosing to love her anyway? If you can't, you need to ask yourself if you're really ready for considering marriage.
 
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MrsMusic8810

Guest
#19
I share in the frustration with the author of this thread. This sad reality is that it's going to be hard to find anyone (whether man or woman) who is still a virgin. Not only is it because of popular culture: the popularity of losing ur virginity at a young age, peer pressure, and just constant advertisement from magazines, etc. on what kind of woman should be considered "sexy" or beautiful. This is not to say for guys it's not the same. So guys, think about it: would you rather a women love you for who you are, not matter what ur past mistakes are, and also no matter if u are or are not a virgin? Do you desire intimacy and friendship/companionship? Guess what, women want the same thing.

Yes, as a christian you might rather prefer someone who is sexually pure and doesn't already have a kid. Let's face reality though, it's gunna be hard. Not saying there isn't gunna be a woman that you have in mind of marrying, but it's hard. We were all born sinners so the temptation will have caught us a few times in our lives. Even I would like to someday preferrably find a husband who is a virgin. The stacks are a bit high and against that, since there's still the male mentality of "ur not a man unless you've been around the block a few times." It would be nice and heartwarming that the guy tried his best and succeeded in waiting until our wedding night. However, even if my husband wasn't a virgin, but tried to spritiually grow and thrive in God I will accept him.

I'm a bonified virgin. 23 years old and never had a boyfriend in real life. Thought something was wrong with me, since no guys found me attractive..but i had to change my mentality. To believe that God has a husband designed specifically for me and will be the best match for me. So I'm glad no guy tried getting with me. I rather be single than for guys to think of me only as a sex object to fulfill the desires of the flesh.
 
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mit

Guest
#20
I am also hoping for a virgin. I think you should not/never aim for less especially if you are also a virgin (It's only fair). There is a statement/saying usually mentioned here that the way we behave, carry ourselves, how much we hold onto the faith, how much we trust in God determines the kind of people we attract. Just to make the point clearer a person who hangs out in a bar 24/7 you'll expect he/she will end up with another who does so and the same for a church (mouse); just to broaden/make the distinction.

However life is not that simple, why? Because we compromise, we say 'oh, he/she will change for/because of me', 'Oh, but he is a good person; s/he has a good heart', 'Oh, s/he is just a social ......', 'oh, s/he does it only on Friday nights', 'oh, s/he said he/she is ready to quit', oh, comes from a good family', 'oh been born again for 20 years'.

I'll encourage you to really go for what you want, God is faithful and even so when we aren't. When we (believers) are ready to settle for less there are guys (unbelievers) who have messed up/ done all yet know very well that when it comes to it they will seek a good Christian person. They are shrewd and like the parable of the shrewd manager. Lu 16:8 "So the master commended the unjust steward because he had dealt shrewdly. For the sons of this world are more shrewd in their generation than the sons of light.