Okay, I've already answered this in the same thread you posted in the singles forum.
But I'm gonna copy & paste my same answers here too, cos I think the penny hasn't quite dropped yet, and the point needs to be made:
Here's my opinion on the matter (for what it's even worth).
My question is this:
Are you going to completely rule out any girl who isn't a virgin? What if she became a Christian later in life after she'd already had sex? Isn't that why Christ died, to forgive us of our sins.. to wash away our iniquities so we are no longer bound by them?
What if the girl you meet has come out of a broken marriage, or what if her husband died and she was widowed. What if that same girl who is no longer married (for whatever reason) had been a virgin when she married and had only had sex with her husband.. what.. and now you can't possibly love her because she's had sex? Waht if she was raped. If that choice to remain a virgin was taken from her brutally... nope sorry, can't love you.. you're not pure?!
You are entirely missing the point my friend. It's admirable that you want a girl who has saved herself, and it's a very special gift that a wife can give to her husband. There is nothing wrong with wanting this, but do not overlook every girl who may not fall into this box you've checked for yourself.
Are those girls supposed to be kicked to the corner and rejected because of a mistake in their past? What if God viewed us that way? If He did, EVERY ONE of us would be rejected. None of us would know the redemption and freedom that comes through Christ, because EVERY ONE of us is a sinner.
So, while I think it's a wonderful thing to aim for, I encourage you not to hold it as a necessity. You might meet a wonderful godly girl who would make you a fantastic wife, but she may not be a virgin. At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself is it really that big a deal? If it was a mistake in her past and she has moved on, she has sought forgivness, she has turned from that path and lived a Godly life since, could you not still fall in love with her? Sorry, but in my opinion, you are being very shallow if you feel you simply cannot ever love a woman who is not a virgin.
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I see both sides of the coin, but am speaking purely from the heart of a girl.
If guys can learn any one thing at all about a girl is that it is her natural desire to be loved. Truly loved. Loved for who she is completely. A girl needs to know that her guy thinks she is the most beautiful woman in the world, even when she's feeling her worst. She needs to know her guy will always look at her heart and love her for who she is, regardless of her mistakes, because she will have made mistakes (and continue to, and will probably at some point let her guy down). She needs to know he will love her ans support her through tough times, and good times. She needs intimacy and security. We all know how love is described in the bible, patient, kind, longsuffering, KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS, endures to the very end.
The reason I say all of this, is because (a) I am a girl, and (b) I am a girl who has been in a marriage where I was anything but loved. I was forced to constantly strive for attention, I wasn't pretty enough, thin enough, didn't have good enough hair or a big enough chest, I didn't do enough around the house, or cook the healthiest meals. I was too messy.. bla bla bla. Not once did he tell me I was beautiful, I had to force him to tell me he loved me... only to find out now he never really did. He had made his share of mistakes, as had I, but for some reason I could love him unconditionally, and he couldn't look past what he saw as my flaws. I was emotionally abused for 7 years. I held down a job and kept a roof over our heads, he sat at home and complained about life. He refused to allow us to have children, but demanded more sex, it was just one thng after another. I wanted to work our marriage out, but he had no desire. He wanted out, and he doesnt even want to try. He says never loved me, and that he has moved on... and by moved on I mean with the internet flousys he communicates with through online profiles...while we're still legally married. Sex to him was just that, sex. I was there to please him when the need arose. There was no love, no intimacy. I felt used the whole time. I tried so many times to talk to him, to encourage him, and try to 'connect' and develop intimacy in that area of our lives. It never happened. I only felt guilt... from him because apparently that too (the sex) was never good enough.
Why am I telling you this? Because I am a woman like any other who has made her share of mistakes. Yes, I was a virgin when I married, but obviously Im not anymore (I saved myself for man I thought would love me and value me as his wife, but clearly didnt). Yes, I allowed myself to love him, and now I'm paying the price and enduring the pain. Does that mean I'm eternally destined to live a single life. Does my past mean no Godly man can ever really show me what true love is?
Guys need respect, just like girls need love. A woman is going to find it extremely hard to respect a guy whom she feels doesn't love her, and the reverse could be said. How can a guy fully love a girl who doesn't respect him? The two things go hand in hand in any relationship. I (just like every other woman on the planet) crave to be fully loved, loved in a way I never have been, in a way I've never experienced by a man who loves God with everything he is. I want to find a guy whom I can love and fully respect as my husband. I want to know what that is like, and experience love the way God intended it to be. Is there anything wrong with that? I don't think so. But it seems like this thread is saying otherwise.
My point to all of this, is, as humans we all make mistakes, but it shouldn't devalue us. It shouldn't make us unworthy of another human beings love. Loving the unlovable, the hurting, the suffering is exactly what our mandate is from God. Why do we find it easy to look past the mistakes of others around us, and preach how they can have freedom and forgiveness, but we can't look past a potential spouse's shortcomings in their past... can they not have that same freedom and forgiveness?
I'm not offended by Dothackzeros desire. I understand it, and I think it's a wonderful thing to strive for, but I'm showing the flipside of the equation, and trying to shed a little 'reality' light on the situation. I'm simply trying to encourge him (and other guys) to get to know a girl. Really get to know her, for who she is as a person. Look at the qualities about her that attract you, look at her relatonship with christ and the way she is with people around her. Those are the elements that REALLY matter.. if she is also a virgin, well bonus for you... if she is not.. is it REALLY a big deal?
That's all I'm saying.