What does it mean for a wife to be submissive to her husband

[Tonydisciple]

What exactly does it mean for a wife to be submissive to her husband? Does it mean she is meant to let the husband domineer in every way shape and form. Im not referring to abuse or anything mean. Just typical non selfish desires of the man, or can it be the other way around, or both?

Does a wife have to follow the commands of her husband all the time?
Can a husband submit to his wife? Can a husband do all the cleaning, shopping, cooking etc..
Can a husband be under the command of his wife?
I am aware that it is the husbands duty to lead the family spiritually but does it only stop there?
Can a wife be in charge financially, event wise, planning or even sexually?
Would God permit a situation where the wife tells the husband what to do all the time? Would God permit the husband telling the wife what to do all the time?

Some experience, thoughts and wisdom will be welcomed. Thanks

 

[Nautilus]

I take it mostly to mean the husband is to be the spiritual leader of the household and the members of it are his responsibility. As far as things like cooking, cleaning, shopping, those are actually just societal gender roles. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man doing any of those. Personally I love cooking and dont mind cleaning the kitchen either. Financially I think it can go either way, some people are just better with money than others. Event-wise and planning shjouldprobably be a joint venture and sexually well that is up to each couple but isnt a big deal how they decide to do it. I have never really taken it as someone is in chrage and you must listen kinda deal.

 

[koolcas]

its an interesting topic tony. cause to be honest women do want to be the head and play boss. thats what eve did at the very beginnning. and the bible also says that her desire shall be for her husband but he shall rule over her. i think from the very beginning there was a struggle to find our roles in the family. I intend to be submissive so ultimately what my future husband says i will do. that doesnt mean we cant come up with the decision together. On tv and media, they make the wife the head. she always makes the decisions and the man is usually scared of her or something. ever notice? society is upside down. But the bible is clear: the head of the woman is the man.

 

[jkalyna]

IT SAYS " WIFES LOVE YOUR HUSBANDS" AND RESPECT THEM, EVEN AS SARAH CALLED ABRAHAM LORD." IN RESPECT.

 

[Ugly]

I think what the scripture refers to is that you need a leader, and men have been deemed the leader of the household. But they are also called to be loving, and supportive as leaders. Not bossy and domineering. I don't think God meant it to be that the man demands the house be kept up to shiny clean levels and if the woman doesn't obey she's not following orders and is out of line.
But rather it seems someone has to make the final call in decisions. Someone has to set the standards. Which those things are decided on by the couple, and come into agreement through conversation, and if need be compromise. Then, as the head, the husband would be the one to ensure that these rules and whatnot are upheld. Especially in the case of a couple with children. Maybe the husband can declare the woman is the 'money handler'. I think by having that 'authority' keeps there from being too much battle for control. But its a respectful control that considers the voice of those they're 'over'. Whose aim is to bring his family forward and into growth and a better life in the future. Not through demands and expectations, but by being the one to step up and 'steer the ship' so to speak.
And no, i do not believe God would have a woman in those role over a man. There is nothing i've seen in scripture to support this idea. But scripture does say that the man is 'over the woman'. But it also says that Christ is over the man. So really, the head of the house is Christ, if the man is doing his job as husband, and submitting to Christ, as his wife submits to him. So she ultimately is submitting to Christ as well.
But any man who takes that they are to be some strong, dominating, overpowering force in their family whose job is to grab the wife by the hair like some caveman and give her the list of demands he expects as head of the household, is not following the intent of scripture. And he is wrong, and not submitting himself as a husband to Christ.

 

[ZoeAnne]

Husband and Wife are to submitt to eachother, Meaning the others desires come first. In a relationship where both are submitting to the other You have an amazing relationship filled with love and care for your partner. My partner and I tried submitting to eachother. And we will never go back. Our relationship blossomed and we became stronger together and kinder in our ways. We are now, As of yesterday!, Happily engaged

 

[koolcas]

congrats Zoeanne!! i wish you all the best.

 

[rainacorn]

I always thought of this as being similar to Jesus talking to the rich young ruler, telling him to get rid of all his riches and follow Him.

God often asks us to give up the one thing that's hardest for us to surrender. For wives, that seems to be control over the house/family. lol

 

[jkalyna]

I THINK IT'S THE TONGUE. MARRIED OR NOT, HUM DO I QUESTION THE LORD, IN MY THOUGHTS.

 

[answers]

Ephesians 5:21-32

21 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. 22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; 26 that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body. 31 For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.

For me, I am very opinionated, but I rarely over step my husband. I have even knowingly let my husband take the lead even though I know I could get us to higher ground quicker. We are very different, I have strong logic and he has strong leaps. I think, he jumps. Over the years I have learned to share my thoughts in a way that makes him stop and think. I try to set up each situation for him to be on top " the head". He loves to brag when he is the conquerer of a problem, I always acknowledge him with lots of flirtation and share the excitement.

My interpretation of this verse of what God wants for marriages is that he wants the married couple to pursue him under the mans lead, he wants the wife to follow. He wants the man to love his wife as much as possible fufilling her desires, and the wife to respect her husband with love, trust, honor, consideration, and embrace his existence.

 

[Gooey]

I find it is helpful to refer to the BDSM community on this one.

If a person (male or female) is naturally submissive and wants someone to lead them (sexually or otherwise), they can ask that of their partner. However, the partner can refuse if they are not naturally a dominant person or a good leader, or the idea in general makes them uncomfortable. The vice versa can be used for a man or woman who is dominant; they can ask, but they should not expect their partner to be fully on-board right from the get-go. What is always emphasised is Safe, Sane and Consent.

This requires a lengthy conversation about what the two people expect from each other while in these roles. For example, the man who is submitting to his partner may have a request that she takes financial responsibility while they're together. She can say yes or no, and he can change his mind on this at any time; these terms negotiated are obviously not legally binding.

'Contract - an agreement between participants regarding the limits of play and of submission and may include living arrangements, finances, and various responsibilities as well as kinky activities and descriptions of the extent of the power exchange dynamic. It has no legal standing and serves only to assist in discussion and clarity within the relationship.' (small excerpt from a BDSM site)

If this suits neither of them, they can go their separate ways in regards to a romantic relationship and they can find people who do want to fulfil the role of submissive or dominant in their life.

That all being said, I'd say most people (in the West) these days are looking for a relationship that has two people come as equals power-wise. It is likely the easiest relationship to find, too. Most women would likely abhor the idea of being submissive to their partner, as most men would likely abhor being domineering towards their partner. Communication is key at the end of the day so that no-one involved feels deceived or taken advantage of.

 

[wwjd_kilden]

pssst, thread is many years old and the OP is no longer here.

You can check the date at the top of the first post

 

[Gooey]

pssst, thread is many years old and the OP is no longer here.

You can check the date at the top of the first post

Meh. It came up in suggested topics, so I answered it. May as well if people are still going to see it.

 

[coby2]

She has to obey. That's why I stay single LOL. Good luck!

 

[Church2u2]

Old thread..yeah. Hot topic..umm..maybe. So I'll comment..should a wife rob a bank cause her husband asked her to??? Should she sell her body cause he asks her to???? Should she sleep with his boss cause hubby wants a raise and knows the boss has the hots for wifey?? I'm being silly.. The husband is head of only (HIS) wife but Jesus is man's head and if hubby isn't submitting to his head little wonder wifey isn't submitting to hubby .Get it?? Adam certainly should have rebuked Eve for disobeying God..but he didn't.. Instead he wilfully disobeyed God too. Look where that got mankind?? If men won't submit to God He'll certainly use the "help mate". Yes some women are bossy and want to rule. But sometimes men let them so really who is acting out of God's will?? Personally I have no problem with following as long as I'm being treated with love and respect. Scripture tells us that when a man finds a wife he finds a good thing..so that makes me think that it's all on the man making that effort to find his "good " thing under God's direction of course. Still seems like the ground is cursed cause of Adam..at least if you weren't born with a silver spoon in your mouth....

 

[Miri]

There are other current threads about this same thing, why not post
on those instead of bringing back yet another.

http://christianchat.com/christian-...-changed-way-woman-view-themselves-has-6.html


http://christianchat.com/bible-discussion-forum/135414-womens-punishment-ended.html