Regretting losing my virginity...

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Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#21
or he is just convinced you wont actually turn him down when things get hot and heavy...
 
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djness

Guest
#22
Okay so I asked him, let's say I dont wanna have sex anymore for some reason, would you like me enough to stay with me anyways? And he was like yea, If we can hang out and enjoy eachothers company. Does that mean he's worth it?? Or is he just gonna cheat to have sex? I don't know, he asked me out just after and I don't know if I sould accept thats why I'm asking!!
The proof of the pudding

Meaning

To fully test something you need to experience it yourself.

Origin

'The proof of the pudding' is just shorthand for 'the proof of the pudding is in the eating'. That longer version makes sense at least, whereas the shortened version really doesn't mean anything - nor does the often-quoted incorrect variation 'the proof is in the pudding'. The continued use of that meaningless version is no doubt bolstered by the fact that the correct version isn't at all easy to understand.

The meaning become clear when you know that 'proof' here is a verb meaning 'test'. The more common meaning of 'proof' in our day and age is the noun meaning 'the evidence that demonstrates a truth' - as in a mathematical or legal proof. The verb form meaning 'to test' is less often used these days, although it does survive in several commonly used phrases: 'the exception that proves the rule', 'proof-read', 'proving-ground', etc. When bakers 'prove' yeast they are letting it stand in warm water for a time, to determine that it is active. Clearly, the distinction between these two forms of the word was originally quite slight and the proof in a 'showing to be true' sense is merely the successful outcome of a test of whether a proposition is correct or not.
 
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jimmydiggs

Guest
#23
Okay so I asked him, let's say I dont wanna have sex anymore for some reason, would you like me enough to stay with me anyways? And he was like yea, If we can hang out and enjoy eachothers company. Does that mean he's worth it?? Or is he just gonna cheat to have sex? I don't know, he asked me out just after and I don't know if I sould accept thats why I'm asking!!
No, get rid of him.

You claim to be a Christian. Get away from this guy, he is leading you into sin. The devil is winning.
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#24
get tested for HIV and other STDs ASAP.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#25
I still say any guy who jokes about raping you when you talk about ending sex with him is dangerous and you need to get away from. It takes a twisted mind to find humor in that.
 

JimJimmers

Senior Member
Apr 26, 2012
2,584
70
48
#26
A real man will try to make you feel better if you feel bad, not joke about rape. IF he was joking.
 
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DIYhappiness

Guest
#28
Ok so no matter what I say you guys will tell me to dump him because sex is a sin and for no other reason. Even if I say we'll stop having sex and we will still stay together you guys will think there's a problem. That's not really the kind of opinion I'm looking for right now, sorry. Thanks anyways
 

JimJimmers

Senior Member
Apr 26, 2012
2,584
70
48
#30
Okay, it sounds like you've made your decision. And our opinions didn't match up with your notions, so you falsely accuse us of saying to dump him for no other reason than because sex is a sin. I gave you several other reasons to consider. Have fun.
 
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djness

Guest
#31
Ok so no matter what I say you guys will tell me to dump him because sex is a sin and for no other reason. Even if I say we'll stop having sex and we will still stay together you guys will think there's a problem. That's not really the kind of opinion I'm looking for right now, sorry. Thanks anyways
If all you really wanted to say was I am having sex, i stoppped I am still staying witht he guy anyway. Could have saved yourself a page or two.
None of us knows the guy other then what you have told us. Give up sex, stay together great. Hope it works out.
Add to that go to church , grow in the lord , maybe you make a great example of what God can do in a person life.


Just don't be so terribly niave about it.

Like I said...the proof is in the pudding....what happens now will determine your future together.
 
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Livi94

Guest
#32
waaaiiiitttt, you ask us for help, for our opinions and say pretty much say, i dont want to hear that? Ill believe what i want to hear? my dear, than we wouldn't be helping if we just said what you wanted to hear.
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#33
Im not saying dump him just because you had sex, that is dumb i agree. Two people messed up, whatever they can still stay together. My only concern would be how long he can respect the no sex rule you set forth and if the same connection will still be there if he isn't getting the regular sex he has grown used too. If everything works out the thats great, if not well you can always ask for more advice.

And to others I know rape jokes arent the most appropriate but they have become more prevalent in youth culture...
 

GOD_IS_LOVE

Senior Member
Mar 16, 2009
306
4
18
#34
Maybe our answers were a bit too straightforward for you, but I think our concern is not only your relationship with this guy, but your attitude towards sex. There is an easiness with which you talk about having sex and you seem more concerned about his reactions rather than the fact that what you did is totally wrong. As you say you are a Christian, your first concern should be to do the right thing before God and to not let anyone influence you to do otherwise.
Personally I think you need to respect yourself more and the gifts God has given you, because you are so precious to Him. Don't let any guy make you feel like a rag. Sex is a gift from God and it should only be experienced in a loving, committed relationship of marriage, however hard it may seem to do so at times. The fact that so many people do otherwise doesn't make it right or less wrong before God.
If you think you can see him without being intimate with him, that wouldn't be a problem.
God bless you!
 
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DIYhappiness

Guest
#35
Why so rude? I never said i thought i was his first time, i know he did it before. Dont call me naive and dont judge before knowing please.
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#36
Maybe our answers were a bit too straightforward for you, but I think our concern is not only your relationship with this guy, but your attitude towards sex. There is an easiness with which you talk about having sex
Could be because sex is rather easy to talk about. It's no longer a taboo subject. Lots of people struggle with sexual issues like this because the church as a whole is too scared to openly discuss it once risk of offending someone or being seen as inappropriate. So then you end with whole generations of youth and young adults whose entire biblical views on sex are based on one or two sentences of wait til marriage and its bad. Clearly if you look at statistics in america alone this isnt working.
What percentage of unmarried, self-identifying evangelical young adults (ages 18-29) have had sex?
According to a study by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy (cited in RELEVANT), the answer is 80 percent.



Clearly something somewhere is broken and its not the people its the teachings. They arent deep enough or informative enough and this is the result.




*This isn't really directed at DIY Happiness herself but rather everyone posting as a whole....
 
S

SpaceCowboy

Guest
#38
Why so rude? I never said i thought i was his first time, i know he did it before. Dont call me naive and dont judge before knowing please.
Whether you stay with him or not is your call. But the important thing is to repent to God for your sin.

If your wanting to stay with him, it would be a good idea to have Jesus be the center of yalls relationship.
 
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Ariel82

Guest
#39
its called crabs.. transmitted by pubic hair...condoms tear and it only takes a microscopic tear to transmit diseases...

if you want to play around and mistreat your body which is suppose to be God's temple.....

God speaks against sexual immorality...He is able to forgive, but you must first repent and turn from you sin instead of finding ways to justify it.

ask yourself this would u want him to be the father of your children? are you ready to be a mom?

if the answer is no to either question, your answer should be NO to sex.

1 Thessalonians 4

New King James Version (NKJV)

. 3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified. 7 For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness. 8 Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given[a] us His Holy Spirit.
 
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Ariel82

Guest
#40
Could be because sex is rather easy to talk about. It's no longer a taboo subject. Lots of people struggle with sexual issues like this because the church as a whole is too scared to openly discuss it once risk of offending someone or being seen as inappropriate. So then you end with whole generations of youth and young adults whose entire biblical views on sex are based on one or two sentences of wait til marriage and its bad. Clearly if you look at statistics in america alone this isnt working.
What percentage of unmarried, self-identifying evangelical young adults (ages 18-29) have had sex?
According to a study by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy (cited in RELEVANT), the answer is 80 percent.



Clearly something somewhere is broken and its not the people its the teachings. They arent deep enough or informative enough and this is the result.


*This isn't really directed at DIY Happiness herself but rather everyone posting as a whole....
the problem is not that church isn't talking about it but that the break up of family and family values, that people no longer teach their children the value of their bodies and honoring God instead of seeking their own pleasures and chasing after the world. the problem is people are so focused on themselves they don't spend the time with loved ones and talk about important issues but expect strangers to teach their children values they do not live at home.

the problem is sex is seen as a public thing and ok pasttime instead of a sacred union joining man and woman in the eyes of God.

the problem is that people value human opinion over God's view upon the subject.

the problem is its easier to make a physical connection then a real emotional, mental and spiritual connection with another person where you share dreams and help others walk toward the upward calling of God.

the problem is not the lack of talking about sex, but the lack of real godly marriages that last built upon the principles God sets forth in the bible concerning forgiveness and valuing others higher than oneself.