LOST SHEEP!

[WiTtY]

So this post is probably not going to make much sense.. I just need to get my feelings out..

This song speaks to me so much, It randomly came into my mind tonight and I found myself singing it over and over..

"Who Am I"
​

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth

Would care to know my name

Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours
​

This song is amazing.. I need God so much, In June the teen bible study at my church went on a spiritual retreat camping.. It was such an amazing experience I really felt God's presence there.. I love retreat type things where your surrounded by those who who are going through the same struggles almost.. like Its just you can feel God. I hate when I get home (to a non christian environment) it all fades away.. there is just so much I could say about this song and how it makes me feel.. but I can't seem to find the words. I started going to church when I was 3 around the same time the abuse started and He was always the only thing that kept me going.. I remember times where I was being hurt and I spent that time in Prayer for him to protect me.. There has been times where I didn't feel him fully there but I knew he was there and I was always able to find him again.. but this time I just can't grasp onto him.. I try so hard.. I try to get back into reading my bible.. I go to church every Sunday and I listen to pretty much only Christian music.. I need him in my life again.. TBC

WiTtY

 

[Rissa77]

I feel God's direction to tell you about this.

Have you ever heard about Master's Commission? It's a ministry program for 18-whatever year olds who want to go deeper into their relationship with God. Most of them are 9-month programs, some are a full year. Whatever the length, and wherever the place, they provide an atmosphere where you can completely focus on God. You're surrounded by people that are going through the same stuff you are. And leaders who've been through it before you. And it's safe. Safe to be vulnerable to God and to the people around you. I go to Memphis Master's Commission in TN. This past May I finished my first year and in September I'll be going back for a second.

I was saved at 14. But since then, I had always felt like there had to be MORE to Christianity than going to church twice a week, being a good person, and praying and reading the Bible. I was right. Master's helped me grow in my relationship with God, helped me mature in my walk with Him, mature my character, and gave me new perspectives in life. They taught me how to genuinely love people, to be proactive in my work ethic, to change the things about me that I didn't like, and how to keep up the fire in my relationship with God.

This summer has been really hard for me. The hardest thing is to have all this knowledge and then learn how to use it in such a different atmosphere. You that know retreat or camp feeling you love? Master's is like that. Home is not. And I'm home for the summer. Satan has been on me the entire time I've been home. I was in depression for a month. I wasn't praying like I used to. I wasn't reading my Bible consistently. I felt like a lost sheep. I felt fake. This week.. can't remember the day.. but I listened to a podcast by Jim Cymbala of the Brooklyn Tabernacle called "The 'Be Real' Factor". It brought me to tears. Helped me to realize the fight I've been surrendering in and letting Satan win.

So Satan's attacks are only going to get stronger now but I'm determined. You know, I look back at graduation in May and I kept thinking "No, I won't get weak. I'm not going to watch tv and I'm going to stand out and stay strong." But pride krept in and kept me from doing what I was supposed to be doing - going to the feet of God MORE. I needed it.

I'm determined. I'm full throttle the rest of the summer.

I tell you all this in perfect honesty. To show you some of what I've been through and the blessings it's caused. THe program did wonders for me. I'm not the same person anymore. But with more knowledge comes more responsibility. And in that I've failed this summer. But then again... the summer is not over.

If the program sounds like something you're interested in, feel free to write me and ask questions. There's a lot to consider and lot to pray about. Master's is for everyone, but not everyone can do it. It's HARD. REALLY HARD. But worth it. And there are hundreds all over America and all over the globe. Funny how I had never heard of them before they came to my church last summer. lol That's Satan's work for you. "Blinding the minds of unbelievers so that they can not see the light of the Gospel of the glory of Christ..." But look... he does it on the believers too. Hm.

I'll be praying for you. Bout to go outside and do that now. Love ya, girl. I pray blessings over you. I pray for your ears to be spiritually opened to what God has to say about your future. We're always told that this time in our lives is crucial. I believe it. I pray you hear God's direction ring perfectly in your spiritual ears. And I pray for the atmosphere you're in.. that you will be the shining light in that family and purge out the darkness. I pray the blood of Jesus over you and that household, and I bind Satan in Jesus' precious name. I pray your growth may steadily continue and never fade. Amen.