What defines a date?

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Aqua_Girl09

Guest
#1
How do i explain to a guy that a date is NOT hanging out? it involves romance, an effort to make a girl feel special? more then what you would do for a friend?
 

error

Senior Member
Oct 23, 2009
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#2
He should already know it. :D
 

AAAPlus

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2011
601
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#3
A date is defined as "an appointment to meet at a specified time; especially : a social engagement between two persons that often has a romantic character" So he can technically call it a date. If you're not okay with that, just don't hang out with him. He'll learn quick.

Another definition for "date" is "the oblong edible fruit of a palm". So by that definition, no, it's not a date.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#4
He should already know it. :D
Sorry, but this mentality is why men and women have so many problems. Women think men should 'just know' something without being told. Men are not psychics. And sometimes people have different ideas of what something is, and it may differ from anothers. So to say he should 'just know' is just an unrealistic expectation that shows a lack of an ability to communicate.

To the OP. Don't expect him to 'just get it'. Tell him flat out 'this is not a date'. If he still has problems accepting that, then as AA stated, stop spending time with him.
 
Oct 11, 2012
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#5
Oh, I've had this problem too. Unfortunately though, we live in modern times and hard financial times at that. Really, the best thing to do in these types of situations is to sit your boyfriend down and just tell him how you feel! If you don't tell him then, he can't know. As much as we would want our significant others to be, they can't read our minds. He may not even know you have a problem with it and that's why he continues to do it. Plus you have to factor in the different personality traits of the one you're with. For example, I'm a home body. I like going out, but would much rather cuddle on the couch and watch a movie at home. This may be the case with your boyfriend. You may like to go out more and there's nothing wrong with that! But when you mix the two different types, it can often lead to one of the two being unhappy.

Like I said, just let him know that you enjoy going out and I'm sure he'll be fine with it. If money is the case, you guys can do something budgeted, like going to catch a movie at the dollar theatre, or go to a museum, or whatever you guys have a common interest in! There are plenty of ways to have fun outside of your home without having to spend a fortune.
Now, some people may disagree with this, but because of the economy, I offer to pay for a date, then he pays, then you split it and continue it that way. No one should have to foot the whole load, especially if you're the one wanting to go out!

Hope this helps. God bless!
 
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prisonofflesh

Guest
#6
A date is not hanging out? *confused*

Can you define "romance"? Can you? :D
 
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Aqua_Girl09

Guest
#7
to exaggerate or invent detail or incident

to entertain romantic thoughts or ideas

to try to influence or curry favor with especially by lavishing personal attention, gifts, or flattery

to carry on a love affair with
 
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prisonofflesh

Guest
#8
none of those sound like things you should be doing
 
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jimmydiggs

Guest
#9
Courting > Dating

Dating is just the worldly process of getting into someones pants.
 

AAAPlus

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2011
601
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#10
Courting > Dating

Dating is just the worldly process of getting into someones pants.
That's an antiquated view of dating from two generations ago. Dating can still be done in a Christian context. It's defined as a relationship deeper than friendship, leading in the direction of marriage.
 
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jimmydiggs

Guest
#11
That's an antiquated view of dating from two generations ago.
It's the very thing I observe, not my usage of a dictionary from the 1830s.

Dating in American society is just a ritualistic manner of getting into someone's pants.

Webster for "Date"
a person with whom one has a usually romantic date

Romantic eh? See the problem yet?
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
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#12
whats wrong with romantic...arent relationships at that level supposed to be romnatic? Note romantic does not equal sexual
 
Jul 25, 2012
1,904
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#13
How do i explain to a guy that a date is NOT hanging out? it involves romance, an effort to make a girl feel special? more then what you would do for a friend?
Like this: A date is not hanging out. It involves romance, and an effort to make the girl feel special. A little more then what would be expected as how friends would actually hangout.
 
A

Aqua_Girl09

Guest
#14
I've read joshua harris's book on "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" i agree with him on just about EVERYTHING. i can't think of anything @ the moment that i disagreed on.

BUT dating isn't exactly written down specifically. thats why this question was asked in the first place.

Christian dating can be just as strict as courtship. just cause you call it be a different name doesn't mean it can't have the same rules. yes when people say dating they usually mean something else but i mean christian dating. with THAT out of the way.

how do you explain to a guy that watching a movie @ his house while he makes ramen is NOT romantic? that hes supposed to do more?
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
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#15
just tell him? i fail to see how complicated this is. tell the guy what you expect and done
 

AAAPlus

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2011
601
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#16
whats wrong with romantic...arent relationships at that level supposed to be romnatic? Note romantic does not equal sexual
Yes...I think Jimmy's interpretation of the word "romantic" is strange indeed...
 

AAAPlus

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2011
601
10
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#17
I've read joshua harris's book on "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" i agree with him on just about EVERYTHING. i can't think of anything @ the moment that i disagreed on.

BUT dating isn't exactly written down specifically. thats why this question was asked in the first place.

Christian dating can be just as strict as courtship. just cause you call it be a different name doesn't mean it can't have the same rules. yes when people say dating they usually mean something else but i mean christian dating. with THAT out of the way.

how do you explain to a guy that watching a movie @ his house while he makes ramen is NOT romantic? that hes supposed to do more?
Yeah it's pretty much just a matter of semantics. When I started my relationship with my now-fiancee, her dad wanted me to ask for his permission first (which I gladly did; her dad and I already had a nice, long-standing rapport). But he wanted me specifically to ask for his permission to court her, not to date her. Her parents didn't like the word date.

But like three weeks later, when he introduced me to some friends, he introduced me as the man who was dating his daughter, and was perfectly fine with that. We've used the term dating ever since then. They're just words. Not a big deal.

As for the guy; some guys just aren't as romantic as others. There's not a lot you can do to change who he is and what his preferences are.
 
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Aqua_Girl09

Guest
#18
Sigh. . . .
so some guys just "get it" and others just. . . . don't?
 

AAAPlus

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2011
601
10
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#19
Sigh. . . .
so some guys just "get it" and others just. . . . don't?
Well, yeah...pretty much. I mean, you've told him, and that's really all you can do. There are no training classes in how to be romantic. Everyone is different; some girls prefer lounging around the house eating ramen to going out to a romantic, starlit picnic by the lake. My thought is that it's just going to eat at you more as time goes on...
 
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jimmydiggs

Guest
#20
Yes...I think Jimmy's interpretation of the word "romantic" is strange indeed...
The first man she holds hands with in a loving/romantic way, should be with her husband (inb4 lolhandshakes, walking with daddy in the park, etc.)
A woman's first kiss should be with her husband.
A woman's first romantic encounter should be with her husband.
A woman's first sexual encounter should be in the marital bed.

Same applies to males.