If I tell you something, will you promise not to get mad?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Oct 11, 2012
1,026
10
38
#1
I honestly do not understand why it's so hard for people to be upfront. In friendships, relationships, relatives, all of it. I hate having to read in between the lines and try to figure out what people want! Why can't you just say what is on your mind?
Like these, for example:

I've been hurt in the past and I'm not very trusting.
I wish you would wear less makeup.
I secretly have a girlfriend.
I don't want to be your friend.
You look like a clown in those pants.
I like your laugh.
Do you have to burp at the dinner table?
I don't really care for cats that much.
I care about you a whole lot.
It annoys me when you don't take your shoes off at the door.
I love you.
I think your jokes are stale.
You have bad breath.
Why don't you call more?
I wish you would stop eating the last of the french onion dip.
Can you stop leaving the toilet seat up?

Whether the truth is big or small, why can't we just be honest with one another and skip all of the nonsense? I don't want to pick your brain. I don't want to guess what you're really feeling. Lets get to the real problem, what's bothering you. Not even that, just when you meet a stranger just tell them who you are, what you want and expect, right?

What do you guys think? Is it okay to keep certain things in if it spares the other person's feelings?
Are you scared to tell the people you love the truth? Because you might get hurt or another reason?
Is it different with friends, strangers, family?

Comments are appreciated. Thanks.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
People offend so easily. I am known as someone who has a tendency to speak his mind and be straight forward, and i'm always taking slack for it. Some people do appreciate it, at least sometimes, but a lot of people don't like it.
 
A

AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#3
Some people want everyone else to read their minds. I agree with you it's crazy to expect that.
 
Oct 11, 2012
1,026
10
38
#4
Exactly! Ugly, I think it's great you speak your mind because the way I look at it, even if I don't like what you're saying at least you're being honest. Is it so much to ask? So many people are afraid to share their emotions. Why can't I tell a friend or even a stranger that I care about them? why is that seen as suspicious? I want someone to tell me if I have something in my teeth or they need space or they care. I guess I expect too much from people in this world. It's frustrating.
 
G

GRA

Guest
#5
Honesty is paramount and necessary. And 'tact' - sometimes... ;)

:)

.
 
T

twofeet

Guest
#6
I have the Truth tattooed on my wrist....I live by it. Do I offend people with my honesty?...yes, many a time. Do I wish people were truthful to me? Yes....that way you can build deep relationships and work through things.
 

error

Senior Member
Oct 23, 2009
1,244
10
38
#7
I like honesty and that is what i expect from others-esp. my family and friends.
Yes, i might not like what they say to me (about some things in my life or my behaviour) sometimes, but i know that they want the best for me. And maybe sometimes (at first) i get mad. But in a long way-it helps me to grow up as a person. :)
 
M

masha

Guest
#8
Hi. i think you are very write with all that. me too am like that i like to tell what i think. but you see the world we live now days is very different peoples doesn't wan't always the trueth to be putted up. its something which hurt. but most of the time i try to tell always what i think what feel to my husband and kids and for such things even if am write, and it hurt it became a problem but i can handle it cos are my family. but if its with friends things change cos some stirt hating you for your being honest telling what you think. sometime i feel like am living in other planet where they don't know the meaning of trueth. for me the trueth should be always be putted first. but it seems like we'r living in lost world like sodom and gomora. if we learn to put God first everything will be alwrite.
 
R

Relena7

Guest
#9
there are nice ways to be brutally honest, it's all in the wording. Some people don't like to hear the truth though.

People try and shelter other people from hurt so much that they may overestimate how sensitive the other person is, further perpetuating their sensitivity beyond what it originally was (If they treat me like I'm fragile, I must be fragile).

Also, not everything needs to be said. It could come off as sounding like you are trying to fix the other person in shallow ways just to please yourself ("I don't like your pants/shirt/shoes" is a good example). What is the real reason for saying this other than trying to make them into something you want? Why is it important to you that they wear or do what you like?

Just think of all the social incompatibilities we would suddenly have to face if hypothetically everyone where honest with everyone.

We would be forced to either withdraw, or be extra intimate with everyone. There would suddenly be no in between.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

WordGaurdian

Senior Member
May 1, 2011
473
8
0
#10
I honestly do not understand why it's so hard for people to be upfront. In friendships, relationships, relatives, all of it. I hate having to read in between the lines and try to figure out what people want! Why can't you just say what is on your mind?
Like these, for example:

I've been hurt in the past and I'm not very trusting.
I wish you would wear less makeup.
I secretly have a girlfriend.
I don't want to be your friend.
You look like a clown in those pants.
I like your laugh.
Do you have to burp at the dinner table?
I don't really care for cats that much.
I care about you a whole lot.
It annoys me when you don't take your shoes off at the door.
I love you.
I think your jokes are stale.
You have bad breath.
Why don't you call more?
I wish you would stop eating the last of the french onion dip.
Can you stop leaving the toilet seat up?

Whether the truth is big or small, why can't we just be honest with one another and skip all of the nonsense? I don't want to pick your brain. I don't want to guess what you're really feeling. Lets get to the real problem, what's bothering you. Not even that, just when you meet a stranger just tell them who you are, what you want and expect, right?

What do you guys think? Is it okay to keep certain things in if it spares the other person's feelings?
Are you scared to tell the people you love the truth? Because you might get hurt or another reason?
Is it different with friends, strangers, family?

Comments are appreciated. Thanks.
Alright, let's see how it goes...

1 I believe that most people wearing make-up inadvertably feels insecure or ugly and for that reason try to abide by the advertisement companies to buy useless stuff to put on their face to make them in their mind more attractive, but in reality simply makes their skin grow older faster. I believe the "make-up" a person should put on is friendliness, caring, love, understanding, tenderness. Because those things actually make permanent lines on the human face and there are some really ugly people out there wearing a whole lot of face paint. Where they could skip the whole bunch of paste and stuff and simply live in love and they would look a lot better.

2 I believe most people do not like sharing their entire lives with complete strangers for the simple reason that is very precious and you don't feed pearls to the pigs. You wanna destroy your marriage... tell everything that you do in your marriage on facebook. Some things are not meant for everybodies ears.

3 Often when truth is told by elder people to younger people they are scorned and laughed at... so elder people learned to be quiet and let the people with their "infinite" wisdom learn on their own terms.
Regrettably they after a whole lot of pain and a couple of years learn what the elder people were going to tell them anyhow.

4 I believe being up front about everything is usually an excuse to hide something important, either that or you just don't have anything worth a lot to reveal. So a lot of people will hide their true nature by openly speaking truths that are easy for them, but those small ones they keep away, by stating those that truly shock and therefore keep the ones that could have aided you away from those people that can help you.

5 I believe people that are insecure would often repeat the words of others in a hope to be seen rather than discovering the infinite wisdom of God by themselves. They would rather want to win the popularity contest than go through the actual hardship to receive the pearls straight from God.

6 I believe the people who are truly wise, usually keeps quiet to avoid somebody stating things over and over without even making an attempt to understand the truth behind the words of wisdom.

7 I believe those that are truthful to themselves can see how life in itself will change according to the judgements that you utter and that same judgements will come back and be used against you, and you usually fail at the very judgements you made.

8 I believe that those who believe that Christ is Lord and King and Ruler of their lives and abides in His voice and obey His commandments and instructions are truly wise, regardless of how others perceive them.

9 I believe those that are focussed on what others think of them, have not yet truly lost.

10 I believe that a kind word on a bad day is worth more than all the money in the world.
 

error

Senior Member
Oct 23, 2009
1,244
10
38
#11
When i'm brutally honest with someone-(usually) ppl don't like it. And they start to say things like-who do you think you are? blah blah.
For example-even in such a small thing as-i say to a person that i'm not interested in this conversation. Sometimes- it is funny to see how ppl react.
 
T

Trax

Guest
#12
I honestly do not understand why it's so hard for people to be upfront. In friendships, relationships, relatives, all of it. I hate having to read in between the lines and try to figure out what people want! Why can't you just say what is on your mind?
Like these, for example:

I've been hurt in the past and I'm not very trusting.
I wish you would wear less makeup.
I secretly have a girlfriend.
I don't want to be your friend.
You look like a clown in those pants.
I like your laugh.
Do you have to burp at the dinner table?
I don't really care for cats that much.
I care about you a whole lot.
It annoys me when you don't take your shoes off at the door.
I love you.
I think your jokes are stale.
You have bad breath.
Why don't you call more?
I wish you would stop eating the last of the french onion dip.
Can you stop leaving the toilet seat up?

Whether the truth is big or small, why can't we just be honest with one another and skip all of the nonsense? I don't want to pick your brain. I don't want to guess what you're really feeling. Lets get to the real problem, what's bothering you. Not even that, just when you meet a stranger just tell them who you are, what you want and expect, right?

What do you guys think? Is it okay to keep certain things in if it spares the other person's feelings?
Are you scared to tell the people you love the truth? Because you might get hurt or another reason?
Is it different with friends, strangers, family?

Comments are appreciated. Thanks.

In life it is difficult to say who does you the most mischief, enemies with the worst intentions,
or friends with the best - Edward Bulwer Lytton

Don't tell your friends their social faults; they will cure the fault and never forgive
you - Logan Pearsall Smith

My son, keep well thy tongue, and keep thy friend - Chaucer

It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend - William Blake
 
F

flight316

Guest
#13
Don't ever change. That's what's wrong with world now, people tip toeing around the truth.