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Oh, believe me. You're not the only one. I struggled with alcohol for about four years. I drank from 16-20.
Let me rephrase. I drank like fish for four years, and then decided to move closer to God. When I was partying, I didn't care about anything and I certainly wasn't thinking about God. That was the furthest thing from my mind.
I remember after about four days straight of partying, drinking bottle after bottle of Vodka on my own, I woke up at about five in the morning. I could never sleep in when I drank, but this time was different. I was still drunk.
My breath reaked of cigarettes- no. My whole body did. The smell was just caked on my skin.
Despite that, I poured a cup of coffee, went outside to the back porch of my friends house, and lit up another. I felt like crap, and my best friend/bad influence, Grace, came out to join me. She sat on the swing with me and threw her legs into my lap. Scattered on the deck were plastic cups, and she picked up a half empty Vodka bottle and handed it to me.
"You know what that say is the best cure for a hangover..."
I didn't even bother to tell her I was still drunk; I just grabbed the bottle and drank every drop.
It had gotten to the point where I had quit my job, moved into that 'friend's' house, and was going with Grace to sell my plasma for 40 dollars, three times a week. With that forty dollars, I bought two packs of cigarettes, a couple of burritos from taco bell, and cheap Vodka. The rest was left for gas to get us back and forth from the house to the Plasma clinic.
My boyfriend I was dating at the time, well.. he fit well with me at that point in my life. He was an Atheist, smoked pot, took LSD, and drank all the time, just like I did. Although, I never stopped being a christian or did heavy drugs, we fit well together because we both didn't care about anything besides partying. Even he, began to question my lifestyle. I'll never forget when I was waiting for Grace to finish at the Clinic and I called him. He said, 'Is this how you're going to live your life? Donating your plasma to buy cigarettes and Vodka? You don't have any goals or anything.'
I told him to give me a break, because I was only 19 and still trying to figure everything out. He replied that he was 19 too, and that was no excuse because he was in college and had a steady job. I had forgotten he was the same age as me.
Angry, I hung up on him and got in the car with Grace. She knew I had been talking to my boyfriend and said, 'I know what will make you feel better. Let's get drunk tonight and you can hook up with someone else. He's a loser anyway.'
At that point I just blew up, telling her that I didn't want to live this life anymore. I had bruises, from where they had accidentally jabbed the needles into my muscle at the clinic while trying to find my vein, not to mention all the times i was in tears because the needle was so big and it hurt quite badly.
So, at that moment, I decided to make a change. Although I struggled for a year after that, I finally put it down for good after rededicating my life to God. I was surprised how easy it was to forget about drinking, and the partying life I had. I had used all of that stuff to try to fill a void in my life that I didn't even know I had. My boyfriend and I broke up of course, since we didn't have that one and only thing in common any more, but I was happy about it. We had a homecoming at my church and not to much longer after that, me and my entire family were baptized in the river.
Yes, I still struggle with it sometimes, just a little, when I go out to restaurants with friends and they order a drink. Sometimes, the Devil tries to trick me by saying, 'You've done so well, one drink won't hurt. It's just for one night, just loosen up and have some fun.' But that's where the even bigger blessing comes into play, not only to I have the strength from God.. but God also blessed me with a new boyfriend who doesn't drink, party, or do any of those things. He helps me stay strong and supports me when I feel weak, reminding me of God's purpose for me and to stay on the straight and narrow.
To wrap this up, God saved me from myself, from my destructive ways. I was on a path of destruction, because I was choosing what I thought was best for me. I hope that by you reading this, you can see there is a light at the end of your dark tunnel right now. Although it may not seem like it, there is. Also, if you ever need to talk, or some type of support for what you're going through, I'd be more than happy to help in any way I can.
Keep your head up, and pray to God for strength. Believe he can relieve you of this burden, and he will. Let him carry you when you feel to weak to make it on your own. The only way to see through the darkness is to turn to the ultimate light, which is God. Let him guide you away from that sin, and lead you to him. You'll be surprised how much happier you feel, more than any drink could ever provide.
Let me rephrase. I drank like fish for four years, and then decided to move closer to God. When I was partying, I didn't care about anything and I certainly wasn't thinking about God. That was the furthest thing from my mind.
I remember after about four days straight of partying, drinking bottle after bottle of Vodka on my own, I woke up at about five in the morning. I could never sleep in when I drank, but this time was different. I was still drunk.
My breath reaked of cigarettes- no. My whole body did. The smell was just caked on my skin.
Despite that, I poured a cup of coffee, went outside to the back porch of my friends house, and lit up another. I felt like crap, and my best friend/bad influence, Grace, came out to join me. She sat on the swing with me and threw her legs into my lap. Scattered on the deck were plastic cups, and she picked up a half empty Vodka bottle and handed it to me.
"You know what that say is the best cure for a hangover..."
I didn't even bother to tell her I was still drunk; I just grabbed the bottle and drank every drop.
It had gotten to the point where I had quit my job, moved into that 'friend's' house, and was going with Grace to sell my plasma for 40 dollars, three times a week. With that forty dollars, I bought two packs of cigarettes, a couple of burritos from taco bell, and cheap Vodka. The rest was left for gas to get us back and forth from the house to the Plasma clinic.
My boyfriend I was dating at the time, well.. he fit well with me at that point in my life. He was an Atheist, smoked pot, took LSD, and drank all the time, just like I did. Although, I never stopped being a christian or did heavy drugs, we fit well together because we both didn't care about anything besides partying. Even he, began to question my lifestyle. I'll never forget when I was waiting for Grace to finish at the Clinic and I called him. He said, 'Is this how you're going to live your life? Donating your plasma to buy cigarettes and Vodka? You don't have any goals or anything.'
I told him to give me a break, because I was only 19 and still trying to figure everything out. He replied that he was 19 too, and that was no excuse because he was in college and had a steady job. I had forgotten he was the same age as me.
Angry, I hung up on him and got in the car with Grace. She knew I had been talking to my boyfriend and said, 'I know what will make you feel better. Let's get drunk tonight and you can hook up with someone else. He's a loser anyway.'
At that point I just blew up, telling her that I didn't want to live this life anymore. I had bruises, from where they had accidentally jabbed the needles into my muscle at the clinic while trying to find my vein, not to mention all the times i was in tears because the needle was so big and it hurt quite badly.
So, at that moment, I decided to make a change. Although I struggled for a year after that, I finally put it down for good after rededicating my life to God. I was surprised how easy it was to forget about drinking, and the partying life I had. I had used all of that stuff to try to fill a void in my life that I didn't even know I had. My boyfriend and I broke up of course, since we didn't have that one and only thing in common any more, but I was happy about it. We had a homecoming at my church and not to much longer after that, me and my entire family were baptized in the river.
Yes, I still struggle with it sometimes, just a little, when I go out to restaurants with friends and they order a drink. Sometimes, the Devil tries to trick me by saying, 'You've done so well, one drink won't hurt. It's just for one night, just loosen up and have some fun.' But that's where the even bigger blessing comes into play, not only to I have the strength from God.. but God also blessed me with a new boyfriend who doesn't drink, party, or do any of those things. He helps me stay strong and supports me when I feel weak, reminding me of God's purpose for me and to stay on the straight and narrow.
To wrap this up, God saved me from myself, from my destructive ways. I was on a path of destruction, because I was choosing what I thought was best for me. I hope that by you reading this, you can see there is a light at the end of your dark tunnel right now. Although it may not seem like it, there is. Also, if you ever need to talk, or some type of support for what you're going through, I'd be more than happy to help in any way I can.
Keep your head up, and pray to God for strength. Believe he can relieve you of this burden, and he will. Let him carry you when you feel to weak to make it on your own. The only way to see through the darkness is to turn to the ultimate light, which is God. Let him guide you away from that sin, and lead you to him. You'll be surprised how much happier you feel, more than any drink could ever provide.
C
For a few years now...I've been addicted to pornography and masturbation. I've always been embarrassed to tell other people because I don't want them to think of me differently. God is working in me and I am starting to get better. But it is a struggle and it probably will be for the rest of my life.
N
i love havet you have to say!! it seems like i am hearing myself a little. i am struggling with the devil speaking negative things into my head and lust as well. I love that it seems you have been there too and I cant be thankful enough for my Father but sometimes it dose seem impossible I will pray for you and thank you for your thoughts!
This post really disturbs me! I know what I am about to share is not going to be taken well, and may seem harsh, but my goal is for you all to realize you are in danger of loosing your soul.
If you think you can stil be in bondage to lust, alcohol abuse, plus many other vile sins that lead to death then you are on sinking sand.
Gal 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
Gal 5:20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
Gal 5:21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
Wake up! Repent, and seek the mercy of God! He wants none to perish but all to come to repentance!
How many today who profess Christ, suppress the truth in unrighteousness? I believe this number is staggering! Every day I hear from those who profess to be of Christ, to be also of the flesh, they have no qualms about living in fornication, lust, idolatry, porn, adultery, along with polluting their hearts and minds with the vile filth Hollywood and the music industry proudly crams down the throats of the gullible masses, and professing Christians who have truly suppressed the truth in doing what is wrong.
They claim the mercy of God or His grace covers them as they suppress the truth on one hand, then fight for a form of it on another, while living a wanton life void of any real godliness, let alone walking the crucified life where Jesus ransomed them from the bondage's of sin and corruption, instead of taking their place and wrath.
But I believe the most startling thing I have ever encountered as I delve deeper into the reformed lies, is that most who profess to be of God, and a minister of His truth, will preach for sin, defend sin and unrighteousness, and totally ignore the many, many verses that warn the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God!
But when they read verses like Romans 1-18, they claim these verses do not apply to them, that they got their wrath insurance when they confessed they were born a sinner, and received Jesus into their heart, before they actually repented, stopped their rebellion against God, cleared themselves of all wrong doing, as the word clearly commands.
This is suppressing the truth, by preaching for unrighteousness, instead of righteousness and godliness in this present age .To them the truth saves them IN their sins, they are declared righteous while they are still in great bondage to many addictions and vile behaviors, and tell others its ok and acceptable to God every time they fall into willful rebellion against Him, as they fight tooth and nail for the faith alone, grace alone false teaching that claims no vile sin will disqualify you from the kingdom, just unbelief!
Imaging the great apostle Paul or Peter, walking into any main stream church this Sunday morning as the masses gather together for worship, fun, food and fellowship, anticipating the same lukewarm, dead message, ensuring them all is well, Jesus loves you and has great plans for your life, while they are still in bondage to many sins, along with their charismatic pastor calling himself and his congregation the chief of sinners and the Romans wretch.
I believe these great apostles would have much to say to the angry masses as they tell them a message of repentance, heart purity, separation, coming out of the world, departing from iniquity, abstaining from all appearances of evil, laying aside all wickedness and filthiness, and following Jesus on the narrow road.
Would these church people be cut to the heart like the many in the book of Acts were? Would they fall on their face in utter remorse and brokenness for their many sins? Would they then seek the mercy of God as the whole city of Nineveh did, hoping their repentance would be accepted by God, because it was real and from the heart, producing a purity, and proving to God their repentance and faith wasn't in vain, or just the sorrow of the world!
Speaking for myself, I spent many year’s under the sin gospel, wallowing in my sins and worldliness, waiting for one brave soul to come along and hit me up side my head with the truth! But it was all the same ole watered down, safe and conforming message, insuring me I was on my way to heaven, even though I was still defiled in my heart, double minded, serving many false Gods, and indulging my flesh on a daily bases!
May you not suppress the truth in unrighteousness, may you be the lights God has given you the grace and power to be, as you come out from among, her, forsake all your evil ways, and seek His mercy before His wrath falls upon you and repentance is lost and unable to be found! He is waiting patiently for you to do just that, His mercy isn’t Him winking at ongoing sin and rebellion, but showing His great patients and kindness, not wanting anyone to perish but for all to come to repentance!
I also think the apostles today would not be accepted in the churches and many ministries, unless they would adhere to their reformed doctrines promising them liberty while they are still in bondage to sin.
This is how far the truth has been distorted, where the light and dark can mix, as this is the truth to them, while in reality they are suppressing the truth in unrighteousness, and unaware the wrath of God is upon them unless they repent as the Prodigal, seek the mercy of God, and pray He grants them pardon
Tommy
Mat 6:23 But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!
If you think you can stil be in bondage to lust, alcohol abuse, plus many other vile sins that lead to death then you are on sinking sand.
Gal 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
Gal 5:20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
Gal 5:21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
Wake up! Repent, and seek the mercy of God! He wants none to perish but all to come to repentance!
Men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness!
Rom 1:18 For the wrath of God is revealed from Heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness
They claim the mercy of God or His grace covers them as they suppress the truth on one hand, then fight for a form of it on another, while living a wanton life void of any real godliness, let alone walking the crucified life where Jesus ransomed them from the bondage's of sin and corruption, instead of taking their place and wrath.
But I believe the most startling thing I have ever encountered as I delve deeper into the reformed lies, is that most who profess to be of God, and a minister of His truth, will preach for sin, defend sin and unrighteousness, and totally ignore the many, many verses that warn the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God!
But when they read verses like Romans 1-18, they claim these verses do not apply to them, that they got their wrath insurance when they confessed they were born a sinner, and received Jesus into their heart, before they actually repented, stopped their rebellion against God, cleared themselves of all wrong doing, as the word clearly commands.
This is suppressing the truth, by preaching for unrighteousness, instead of righteousness and godliness in this present age .To them the truth saves them IN their sins, they are declared righteous while they are still in great bondage to many addictions and vile behaviors, and tell others its ok and acceptable to God every time they fall into willful rebellion against Him, as they fight tooth and nail for the faith alone, grace alone false teaching that claims no vile sin will disqualify you from the kingdom, just unbelief!
Imaging the great apostle Paul or Peter, walking into any main stream church this Sunday morning as the masses gather together for worship, fun, food and fellowship, anticipating the same lukewarm, dead message, ensuring them all is well, Jesus loves you and has great plans for your life, while they are still in bondage to many sins, along with their charismatic pastor calling himself and his congregation the chief of sinners and the Romans wretch.
I believe these great apostles would have much to say to the angry masses as they tell them a message of repentance, heart purity, separation, coming out of the world, departing from iniquity, abstaining from all appearances of evil, laying aside all wickedness and filthiness, and following Jesus on the narrow road.
Would these church people be cut to the heart like the many in the book of Acts were? Would they fall on their face in utter remorse and brokenness for their many sins? Would they then seek the mercy of God as the whole city of Nineveh did, hoping their repentance would be accepted by God, because it was real and from the heart, producing a purity, and proving to God their repentance and faith wasn't in vain, or just the sorrow of the world!
Speaking for myself, I spent many year’s under the sin gospel, wallowing in my sins and worldliness, waiting for one brave soul to come along and hit me up side my head with the truth! But it was all the same ole watered down, safe and conforming message, insuring me I was on my way to heaven, even though I was still defiled in my heart, double minded, serving many false Gods, and indulging my flesh on a daily bases!
May you not suppress the truth in unrighteousness, may you be the lights God has given you the grace and power to be, as you come out from among, her, forsake all your evil ways, and seek His mercy before His wrath falls upon you and repentance is lost and unable to be found! He is waiting patiently for you to do just that, His mercy isn’t Him winking at ongoing sin and rebellion, but showing His great patients and kindness, not wanting anyone to perish but for all to come to repentance!
I also think the apostles today would not be accepted in the churches and many ministries, unless they would adhere to their reformed doctrines promising them liberty while they are still in bondage to sin.
This is how far the truth has been distorted, where the light and dark can mix, as this is the truth to them, while in reality they are suppressing the truth in unrighteousness, and unaware the wrath of God is upon them unless they repent as the Prodigal, seek the mercy of God, and pray He grants them pardon
Tommy
Mat 6:23 But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!
You are not saved IF you are still in bondage to sin! Repent, seek the mercy of God before its too late, all you who read this and think this person here addicted to porn and lust need to wake up also! God wont be mocked, the unrighteous will NOT inherit the kingdom of God!
Here we see just how deceived a nation or person can get, when they either ignore God and His truth, or trust is many false ways that lead to a life of sin, wickedness, and separation from Him!
It’s not unusual today to meet people who claim to be a saved follower of Christ proclaiming God doesn’t see them sinning, or in rebellion to Him, because they accepted Jesus as their substitute, who in their corrupt mind have concocted the lie that God doesn’t see their wickedness anymore, but the righteousness of Jesus.
You are either walking in the light, that can only come from a real godly sorrow, leading to real repentance and faith, and trusting IN the power of Christ to keep you strong against the lies and temptation, or you are trusting in a lie that gets you saved IN your sins and disobedience, Jesus is supposed to be your cover and cloak, which proves your wisdom and knowledge isn’t from above, but from below, a doctrine of demons, telling you can sin like the devil and still live!
You are either serving God or man, you are either believing in a lie, or standing on your own wisdom, that tells you all is done, you do nothing, and then you are no better off than the proclaimed atheist who boldly claims there is no God!
God is calling all men everywhere to repent or perish, to seek His mercy and truth, and to stop following the wisdom of mere men who have a conglomerate of many philosophies, that all lead to a dead end. God will not be mocked, and if you persist to mock His truth, and follow other gods as you follow the teachings and wisdom of men, then He will let it happen, giving you over to your reprobate mind and heart.
God say, “I AM, THE GREAT I AM” but many will say I am my own god, and there is no one else! Who is correct! One leads to everlasting life, and the other leads to death and separation, where God has given them over to the great delusion, telling them they are safe because they feel something in them that is not of God, leading them into a ditch, they have chosen to be in!
Folks, it’s a choice, God will not allow His mercy to last forever for which I am so very grateful for, BUT there will be a time when He says enough is enough, as in the days of Noah, and will pour out His wrath on the wicked and godless nations and people who have ignored His truth when presented to them, and insist that all their blessings are from God condoning their wicked and complacent behavior, and thus serving another god, or worse proclaiming they are their own god, and there is no other!
Tommy
Jos 24:15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.
No one sees me!
Isa 47:10 For you have trusted in your wickedness; you have said, No one sees me. Your wisdom and your knowledge, it has perverted you; and you have said in your heart, I am, and there is no one else.
It’s not unusual today to meet people who claim to be a saved follower of Christ proclaiming God doesn’t see them sinning, or in rebellion to Him, because they accepted Jesus as their substitute, who in their corrupt mind have concocted the lie that God doesn’t see their wickedness anymore, but the righteousness of Jesus.
You are either walking in the light, that can only come from a real godly sorrow, leading to real repentance and faith, and trusting IN the power of Christ to keep you strong against the lies and temptation, or you are trusting in a lie that gets you saved IN your sins and disobedience, Jesus is supposed to be your cover and cloak, which proves your wisdom and knowledge isn’t from above, but from below, a doctrine of demons, telling you can sin like the devil and still live!
You are either serving God or man, you are either believing in a lie, or standing on your own wisdom, that tells you all is done, you do nothing, and then you are no better off than the proclaimed atheist who boldly claims there is no God!
God is calling all men everywhere to repent or perish, to seek His mercy and truth, and to stop following the wisdom of mere men who have a conglomerate of many philosophies, that all lead to a dead end. God will not be mocked, and if you persist to mock His truth, and follow other gods as you follow the teachings and wisdom of men, then He will let it happen, giving you over to your reprobate mind and heart.
God say, “I AM, THE GREAT I AM” but many will say I am my own god, and there is no one else! Who is correct! One leads to everlasting life, and the other leads to death and separation, where God has given them over to the great delusion, telling them they are safe because they feel something in them that is not of God, leading them into a ditch, they have chosen to be in!
Folks, it’s a choice, God will not allow His mercy to last forever for which I am so very grateful for, BUT there will be a time when He says enough is enough, as in the days of Noah, and will pour out His wrath on the wicked and godless nations and people who have ignored His truth when presented to them, and insist that all their blessings are from God condoning their wicked and complacent behavior, and thus serving another god, or worse proclaiming they are their own god, and there is no other!
Tommy
Jos 24:15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.
C
I'm not going to turn this into a debate forum. We all have our different views of Christianity. We're still brothers and sisters in Christ. I respect your opinion. God has saved me, He is working in me and helping me. I feel his peace, and his strength.
Jesus doesn't say clean your act up and then come to me. He says come as you are and I'll work in you and help you live a life of freedom.
T
One thing I found help me was asking God to help me with my words, and to speak life. Proverbs 18:21 says we have the power of life and death in the tongue. So rather than saying it will probably be with you for the rest of your life..........this is something that God can free you from in an instant. He is able! Jesus says as is your faith, so be it unto you. So if you believe you'll always struggle with it, God can still help you, but it creates an unnecessary barrier.
After struggling for a few months as a Christian, He did with me, it hasn't always been easy. But God is always with you, and stronger than any temptation and attack of the enemy.
The fact that you want to be free is the good place to start
God bless you with it!
After struggling for a few months as a Christian, He did with me, it hasn't always been easy. But God is always with you, and stronger than any temptation and attack of the enemy.
The fact that you want to be free is the good place to start
God bless you with it!