Have you been addicted to porn reined your realtionship with your kids?

[Emz1066]

Wasnt sure where to put this thread so i put it here

Hello , Im trying to forgive me Dad he is heavily involed in porn and it controlled his life and ruined our family i dont see him but i need to forgive him , i couldnt forgive him before because what he did was disgusting and evil but now i know its like a serious thing like alchol , i want to know if anyone is here who has been addicted to porn and affect your life realtionship, because then i can see its from his side , and perhaps understand and get closer to forgiving him , thank you so much

 

[Soteria]

All addictions are addictions, just like sins, to God there's no bigger or smaller...it is just that the addicted is trapped by Satan.
The thing with addiction whatever the object is, you always get back to it because you feel bad, and I am talking as an addict also...so I hope you can understand your dad.
When you feel bad you feel like doing something as equally as bad as your emotions, So the root is there, emotions, feeling bad, rejected etc....if he can break the code of which emotion and then he will have to work on it using the word of god...
The healing is simple, it is not like a magical healing push button and then everything disappears, it is a life style, you convert your addiction from porn to the love of the word of God....
And never let go, never keep the promises and the word of God away from you, or else you will get back to your addiction
He has no intention in hurting anyone, but he intently do so by hurting himself more...and it is painful.

Hope this helps

 

[Emz1066]

He is not a Christian i think he has hurt people from what my mother has said i did some research and found people get addicted from a young age , i want to forgive him i havent seen him much because i had so much hatred for him and i dont know if he knows that i know im thinking maybe i sould go to him and confess all , however it would hurt my family and cause trouble , if i could just understand i would get a step closer to not judgeing and just understanding to get a step closer to forgivness

 

[Ugly]

You need to understand the nature of addiction. An addict is a person who is not in control of their behavior. I know, i have had my own addictions. As a Christian. I know that i suffered heavily under guilt and condemnation for my addictions. It effected my self esteem. If effected my walk with God. I wanted to quit. Badly. But it controlled me. It was like someone inside my head with little controls and sometimes i felt like a robot being told to do things i didn't want to. It wasn't even always about the 'good' feelings that participating in that addiction gave me. Sometimes it was pure compulsion.
I have no kids, so i've not had that effect. But it did effect my life in other ways. Being late for work, or to meet with friends. Or sometimes choosing not to go out. Putting off eating even when i was starving.
Addiction is a torment. Its a mental torture, and very few addicts will admit to that at the time.
Its true, there are some people who revel in their addictions, because they usually don't recognize that they are addicted, or, in the case of drugs/alcohol people will dig into their addictions in hopes that they will die from it, or to help bury their pain.
But no addict is a happy person, because their addiction ruins their lives in one way or another.

 

[Timofree]

He is not a Christian i think he has hurt people from what my mother has said i did some research and found people get addicted from a young age , i want to forgive him i havent seen him much because i had so much hatred for him and i dont know if he knows that i know im thinking maybe i sould go to him and confess all , however it would hurt my family and cause trouble , if i could just understand i would get a step closer to not judgeing and just understanding to get a step closer to forgivness

I haven't been through the same situation, and pray God helps you to forgive!
It's important for you to take that choice, whether you feel like it or not to say "I choose to forgive him", there's such power in those words and that choice! Not just for the sake of your Dad, It also brings freedom to your life, and helps your relationship with God.

I found it hard at first, but I felt such freedom after that I wanted to forgive more and more! It's been a process though, rather than a single prayer. Sometimes I'd see someone who looked like the person I'd forgiven, and I'd have to say again, Father I choose to forgive so and so.

God's blessing and grace to you!

 

[Cobus]

EMZ, I was in the SAME BOAT your dad is in. I was addicted to ungodly sex as well. Porn is just part of it. The man that is addicted needs GOD for salvation and victory over those temptations!
ONLY God can save you from sin. And the porn is no bigger sin than unforgiveness. You my dear, have to know this. If you are the Christian and your dad is the evil one, what made you different than your dad? God did! Is that now a position to judge your dad, or to not forgive him? Does he have to chnge before you forgive him? So you only would forgive him AFTER God did? I want to help you understand what hell your father is in.

So here goes.... I was VERY addicted to adultery and the sin of ungodly sex. There is only ONE type of sex God approves. The love of a husband and wife in the privacy of their sacred space. Be it in their room or anywhere, where God would approve their privacy. That is the ONLY approved sex by God, NONE other. Not even a woman advertizing her goods, like a short dress or a lowcut top is not of God's approval. ALL these things are getting out of God's approval. So my dear you wearing a short dress in public is as sinful as your dad doing ungodly sex.

Jesus teaches this in the Bible..... In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
I suppose we have to know wht is modest for God! But that is another subject...

I was addicted and LOVED the addiction.... untill.... God's Holy Spirit changed my view on this matter. I was trapped and in Satan's will with this sin, then God gave me the WAY OUT of that sin. Me and a friend that God arranged to meet, confessed our weakness and the sin we are "addicted" too, and we prayed for the deliverance.... God heard our prayer, and the Holy Spirit gave us BOTH deliverance. Young lady, this is something I cannot explain. It was as though God removed the weight of the world from our sholders. Did God not say HIS yoke is light, well His yoke is the freedom of sin.

If God's Holy Spirit convice your dad, and he hears, God will do the same for him. You should not be hateful or stand proud against your dad. You should feel real pity for him, he is trapped in Satan's claws. ONLY God can save him, and the more you pray for him with a loving heart, and with feverent prayer, God can avail much.

You sould remember that in the Lord's prayer we ask God to forgive us as we forgive thse that sin against us. Do you want God to forgive you as you did your dad? I thank God that HE kept my family together and that HE gave love to my wife to stick through with me. She NEVER left me even though she "caught" me three times with other women. I think HER faith God gave her saved our marriage and family. Today we are truly ONE, just as God intended it to be from the day we got mariied.

One thing I need to share with you is the hateful pride I had. When my dad cheated on my mother I was 11 years old, and from then I said.... I will NEVER do what my dad did.... And guess what.... at the age of 16 I was already a whoring person. And this continued for 22 years! until I was 38, then God saved me from that sin. So I actually were worse than my dad.

I hope this helps you. May God's will be done in you and your family, as it is done in heaven.

My prayer.... Lord Jesus please give this father of EMZ the same experience of YOUR GRACE, to deliver him from these sex demons, AMEN!