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My situation has a bit of a back story and I'm going to do my best to keep it short and then if anyone is interested in helping we could correspond some of the other details. I'll warn you though keeping it short honestly not my forte. Soooo here goes.
I have always said I'm old enough to know I'm too young to know it all and I hope I'm that way forever. That pretty much somes up how I feel about life. If you can't learn you've given up!
In high school I had a very dear friend, she attended a different school, very close, and we were involved in lots of extra curriculars together. From 15 to 18 together 80% of the time. Details, details, details.......A couple of things to note would be: She visited my house maybe 6 times the entire portion of my life that I've known her to this day. And not because she didn't have the invite, not that she needed one either. Second, all of our mutual friends always thought of her as selfish. So much in fact that I was caught in the middle of those friendships more than once. I've always stood up for her simply by accepting thats who she is. I have told our mutuals in the past its not a give and take with her its a take it or leave it. I accepted it.
Then there was a point in her life that she changed. After high school we all change but she really morphed into someone......she seemed to constantly be trying to be someone she reallllllllyyyy isn't. Details details, details...........................
We lost touch. She married, her husband is very controlling but not in the rude abusive way. In a, its for your own good and the church doesn't favor that, kind of way. Oh wait...maybe thats the same thing if you're not in a good church. Right?
I married and our husbands are from very different walks of life, and they are also different ages. She married older I married younger. So we didn't do much together any more and she actually became a pretty sore subject with me and my husband because of the lack of friendship she offered to me and the amount of loyalty and persistance to keep my friend that I had for her. She and her husband were blessed with a child she was busy, I tried to help but it seemed that my help was never good enough.
My husband and I were going through some rocky times. We had trouble concieving and were pressured by my family to be a family. My family was bitter because we had eloped. I should mention that my friend was too, because she said to me "what do you mean you eloped, you were in my wedding. You were supposed to return the favor so that I could be a maid of honor." Seriously quote. Notice she said :so that i could be: not for you or stand by you, or congratulations by the way that never came. So my husband and I hit the three year mark. I have discovered that couples without a solid foundation who have been married around three years tend to experience problems of some sort. My husband and I couldn't handle family. We were happy being us, it was everyone around us who kept pushing us to be married, with kids pets and fences. We didn't want that, we wanted each other. It took 100 miles between family and us and some time apart from one another to figure that out but praise God we did!
I contacted my friend during this time and she had nothing good to say to me. I told you he was no good, he this and that ect... I spoke to her one other time before I reunited with my husband and told her that I would contact her when I got back to town. Her Dad was not in good health she had a lot on her plate.
When I got back to town my husband and I decieded to keep a geographical distance between my family and us. I went to see her 3 times, left notes on her door with numbers, I even called the hospital to find out her Dad had been released. I got NO response at all.
Now I have moved several times since then, however, my grandparents whom she knows well have lived in the same place 20 miles from her home with a listed number that hasn't changed in 30 years. She has even spoken to them in town twice since then. My last note gave her the option to walk away as a friend, that's what I thought she had done, especially when my grandparents didn't have a msg for me just a story of chance meeting.
Recently I organized of group of out of touch friends a get together and for the first time I was introduce to myspace and facebook. WOWOWOWOW how do any of us keep private anymore. Anyway...There she was. I emailed her with no reservation because its been 7 years. I thought start fresh. Just a note to invite her nothing like oh be my friend again ohohohaahahaah of junk. I have never liked drama as this is. One of the reasons I didn't get on the internet was because of that interuption it can cause in your real life. But I homeschool my children now and its a must. So she ignores me until after the event then emails me the following Monday with: "Too little, too late , you dropped me, I have had a lot happen in my life that I could have used you a friend for and you weren't there, not up for the drama, not up for being your friend again."
I was saved at the age of 13 I attended different churches with different friends most of my high school years. She included, after she met her husband. I've never cared for their church but I did attend with her the night she was introduced as his fiance. She asked me and I went. She was saved at the age of 18 in her husbands church which they still attend as a family now. It's the only church she's ever been to. I fear for her. I believe that she's living in a glass house and doesn't know how to accept her past with out just forgetting it. I also belive that she has been condemed by her church for the decisions she made before she was saved or even a member of that church. All of these concerns I have voiced to her 10 years ago when she started to attend this church, before she was married. And now God has brought her back to me and she has not grown.I don't belive that she has grown as woman or as Christian. I think that her reply to me says it all? Were we ever really friends or did she just use me as a dumping ground? I was always there for her, and I am now if she comes, but I have recently apologized to my friends of 17 years who knew her then and told me she was selfish. I knew that they were right then and what I apologized for was giving away my time to her that I could have been there for them. They laughed. I laughed with them. 17 years with them and I'm only 30 I think thats an amazing amount of time over a rocky portion of life to stay in touch. I thank God for the friends I have.
I have prayed about this, I ended up here. I don't know if she's reading this now. I don't know if I should contact her at all. I'm not sure how to respond. Anger was first and then I relized that I wasn't angry at her but I felt sorry for her that she didn't even understand how to comprehend that I had lived the last 7 years without her too. Does she not find worth in herself any more? Maybe thats what I should tell her. I ve lost my friend. Please help.
I have always said I'm old enough to know I'm too young to know it all and I hope I'm that way forever. That pretty much somes up how I feel about life. If you can't learn you've given up!
In high school I had a very dear friend, she attended a different school, very close, and we were involved in lots of extra curriculars together. From 15 to 18 together 80% of the time. Details, details, details.......A couple of things to note would be: She visited my house maybe 6 times the entire portion of my life that I've known her to this day. And not because she didn't have the invite, not that she needed one either. Second, all of our mutual friends always thought of her as selfish. So much in fact that I was caught in the middle of those friendships more than once. I've always stood up for her simply by accepting thats who she is. I have told our mutuals in the past its not a give and take with her its a take it or leave it. I accepted it.
Then there was a point in her life that she changed. After high school we all change but she really morphed into someone......she seemed to constantly be trying to be someone she reallllllllyyyy isn't. Details details, details...........................
We lost touch. She married, her husband is very controlling but not in the rude abusive way. In a, its for your own good and the church doesn't favor that, kind of way. Oh wait...maybe thats the same thing if you're not in a good church. Right?
I married and our husbands are from very different walks of life, and they are also different ages. She married older I married younger. So we didn't do much together any more and she actually became a pretty sore subject with me and my husband because of the lack of friendship she offered to me and the amount of loyalty and persistance to keep my friend that I had for her. She and her husband were blessed with a child she was busy, I tried to help but it seemed that my help was never good enough.
My husband and I were going through some rocky times. We had trouble concieving and were pressured by my family to be a family. My family was bitter because we had eloped. I should mention that my friend was too, because she said to me "what do you mean you eloped, you were in my wedding. You were supposed to return the favor so that I could be a maid of honor." Seriously quote. Notice she said :so that i could be: not for you or stand by you, or congratulations by the way that never came. So my husband and I hit the three year mark. I have discovered that couples without a solid foundation who have been married around three years tend to experience problems of some sort. My husband and I couldn't handle family. We were happy being us, it was everyone around us who kept pushing us to be married, with kids pets and fences. We didn't want that, we wanted each other. It took 100 miles between family and us and some time apart from one another to figure that out but praise God we did!
I contacted my friend during this time and she had nothing good to say to me. I told you he was no good, he this and that ect... I spoke to her one other time before I reunited with my husband and told her that I would contact her when I got back to town. Her Dad was not in good health she had a lot on her plate.
When I got back to town my husband and I decieded to keep a geographical distance between my family and us. I went to see her 3 times, left notes on her door with numbers, I even called the hospital to find out her Dad had been released. I got NO response at all.
Now I have moved several times since then, however, my grandparents whom she knows well have lived in the same place 20 miles from her home with a listed number that hasn't changed in 30 years. She has even spoken to them in town twice since then. My last note gave her the option to walk away as a friend, that's what I thought she had done, especially when my grandparents didn't have a msg for me just a story of chance meeting.
Recently I organized of group of out of touch friends a get together and for the first time I was introduce to myspace and facebook. WOWOWOWOW how do any of us keep private anymore. Anyway...There she was. I emailed her with no reservation because its been 7 years. I thought start fresh. Just a note to invite her nothing like oh be my friend again ohohohaahahaah of junk. I have never liked drama as this is. One of the reasons I didn't get on the internet was because of that interuption it can cause in your real life. But I homeschool my children now and its a must. So she ignores me until after the event then emails me the following Monday with: "Too little, too late , you dropped me, I have had a lot happen in my life that I could have used you a friend for and you weren't there, not up for the drama, not up for being your friend again."
I was saved at the age of 13 I attended different churches with different friends most of my high school years. She included, after she met her husband. I've never cared for their church but I did attend with her the night she was introduced as his fiance. She asked me and I went. She was saved at the age of 18 in her husbands church which they still attend as a family now. It's the only church she's ever been to. I fear for her. I believe that she's living in a glass house and doesn't know how to accept her past with out just forgetting it. I also belive that she has been condemed by her church for the decisions she made before she was saved or even a member of that church. All of these concerns I have voiced to her 10 years ago when she started to attend this church, before she was married. And now God has brought her back to me and she has not grown.I don't belive that she has grown as woman or as Christian. I think that her reply to me says it all? Were we ever really friends or did she just use me as a dumping ground? I was always there for her, and I am now if she comes, but I have recently apologized to my friends of 17 years who knew her then and told me she was selfish. I knew that they were right then and what I apologized for was giving away my time to her that I could have been there for them. They laughed. I laughed with them. 17 years with them and I'm only 30 I think thats an amazing amount of time over a rocky portion of life to stay in touch. I thank God for the friends I have.
I have prayed about this, I ended up here. I don't know if she's reading this now. I don't know if I should contact her at all. I'm not sure how to respond. Anger was first and then I relized that I wasn't angry at her but I felt sorry for her that she didn't even understand how to comprehend that I had lived the last 7 years without her too. Does she not find worth in herself any more? Maybe thats what I should tell her. I ve lost my friend. Please help.
