Dating Advice.

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geexdeex1234

Guest
#1
#1
Hello,
I am turning to the internets because I have a problem and I do not have many friends that arre practicing Catholics/Christians.

I am experiencing my first relationship but there is a huge problem. Though I probably know what most people are going to say, I need advice from people that share my beliefs.
I am a devout Catholic and my boyfriend is an atheist. It is especially hard because he truly is a great guy. He is kind, warm hearted, helps everyone, isn't mean to people, and he doesn't make fun of me, pressure me into changing how I feel or try to tell me I am wrong.
Though these are great things, it is not good enough. I pray everyday that he opens his heart to God and I do not force anything down his throat but I also do not hide my frustration and sadness for how he feels about God.

I really don't know what to do. We haven't been together terribly long but we have been friends for a long time. I have very strong feelings for him and he is just a boyfriend and we are young but I really don't know what to do.
My friends don't understand why this upsets me so much because they are not practicing and religion is not important to them. My boyfriend understands why I worry so much and we do discuss our problems but, I just am really torn. I am very very happy but is that enough? Should I end it?

Thank you!
 
N

Neisha

Guest
#2
#2
Can I begin by saying that it is a bad Idea to be with this guy. Not only he is not saved but he don't believe in God at all that sort of thing can cause conflict in your relationship. I don't believe that a unsaved person and a save person make a great mix. You cannot call this person when you need someone to pray with he can't help you spiritually this relationship ,might have a negative effect on your spiritual growth. He is gonna want you to do stuff u know you shouldn't be doing but he might influence you to do it any way these things happen trust me. i have a lot of Christian friends who try unsaved guys but at the end of it all it always come to a end. Can I say that be this person friend invite him to church see if his views would change even a little.
be blessed
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#3
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
48
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#3
2nd Corinthians 6:14:

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

As much as I hate to say it, and as much as I know it hurts to hear, you should not be with this guy. It doesn't matter that he's kind and helpful; you are in a romantic relationship with someone who does not have Jesus Christ in his life. It's great that you are praying for him every day and trying to tell him about God. But for you to be involved with him on this level is not Biblical. A Christian marriage is to imitate Christ and the church: The wife submits to the husband and the husband loves his wife as Christ does the church (and us). He will not be able to do that. You will not be able to pray together as a couple, you will not be able to teach your children in the way of the Lord because the head of the household would not even believe it.

You might say "We haven't been together that long, we're not even thinking about marriage!" My question would be, "Why date someone you know you wouldn't marry because of your spiritual differences?"

He may be perfect in every other way, but the fact that he's an atheist is the biggest and most important difference there is. He and your friends may be upset if you choose to break up. They really have no way to understand because they do not have that Christian foundation. But how can you and your guy build a foundation together when your foundations are so drastically different?
 
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Aqua_Girl09

Guest
#4
#4
When my friends bring up that questions I always ask "would you want to raise children with him?" hes if you marry him and live with him will be be a rock to support you when your faith is shaking? When you're trying to teach your children about their savior how will you feel when they respond "well daddy says that God isn't real and people just made him up to make themselves feel better" or something along those lines? He could lead your own children away from the light. he could lead YOU away from the light. its MUCH easier to pull someone down then pull them up.

I know its hard to break it off because you care so much about him and you want to be able to work things out. SO it may take a while for you to be able to work up the nerve or open your eyes to see how bad a situation you're putting yourself into. but Its not a good relationship that you're building. If he found God and came back to yo then I think it would be ok. But i wouldn't push forward a relationship on a maybe. it a waist of time and heart ache.
 
my_adonai_

my_adonai_

Senior Member
#5
Mar 19, 2012
818
22
0
32
#5
You know it all comes to the root, first of all. Did God give you the go ahead to be in a relationship with this guy? or did your view of him make you consider that. do you know what he thinks of you now? and how he will after marriage? You can not assume God allowed it to happen, you must be fully sure yes. very sure. matterfact even before you got into a relationship YOU HAD TO BE SURE. ""Pro 16:1 The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the LORD."".
Dont play with this, its your life on the line. see you might say in your heart, he loves me and i love him.
listen Solomon in All his wisdom defied God and what happened? His heart turned from GOD, now are you wiser than God? do you know more than Him? Are you stronger than GOD? Do you think God doesnt want you to be happy?
When you live for Him and see Him for Who is i tell you, you will not be disappointed.

oh and 21 is a young age to in a relationship. thats my view. there is so much to do at your age, and if you want someone to comfort you, to give you counsel GOD is there, and your family in the LORD is there. in Gods time He will bring you a believer.
 
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ELNino

Guest
#6
#6
Its a pretty tough situation but I can't comment much on it, How long have you been dating for? Usually there will be differences that could come up in the relationship, you might not see it during the early stages but it will show up eventually. There is also a good chance he could change and start believing in god.

The story of st Edith Stein also known as Saint Teresia Benedicta of the Cross comes to mind. If you don't know who she was read her story, I think its wonderful. During her teen years she was an Atheist. She was canonized by Pope John Paul II in 1998.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#7
#7
Sounds to me like you already know the answer, going by the way you talk, but are just refusing to accept what you already know. You have the answer already, so follow what you know is right and stop trying to get around what you know God is telling you.
 
JoshJoseph2

JoshJoseph2

Banned
#8
Jun 19, 2011
271
4
0
#8
From my experience being around people that I think may be unsaved has been tough (Family members), for me the closer I am with someone the harder it is to deal with that they may not be saved. I've spent a lot of time in sadness over family members who may not be saved. The closer you get with a person may make it even more frustrating for you and bring you more sadness. That's my experience on the topic anyway.
 
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Jordache

Guest
#9
#9
Honey, get out. Perhaps in the future God will change circumstances and bring you back together, but there are some scary signs even you see. You admit it's bad. You say you're young. You say he doesn't serve God. The world says dating should be for fun. But why risk all the heartache. Not to speak I'll of the young because I was your age once also. Young people (well many people but especially the young) are exceptionally naive. I was and I had no idea. A bf who should eventually at least qualify to be your husband should be walking in the characteristics of a good husband and looking to walk into the characteristics he doesn't have yet.
You want to date someone you could marry. An you want to marry someone you can count on. Think hard. Can you really count on him in all things? What happens when family dies? He doesn't believe in heaven or hell. If your have an unsaved family member thy dies he will not be able to support you in this. If you have an addiction, or an illness he will not e able to intercede for your healing.
Husbands are called to serve their wife's as Christ serves the church. But he can't do that if he doesn't serve Christ.
The longer you wait the harder it will be.
 
cynicalguy

cynicalguy

Banned
#10
Mar 5, 2013
37
0
0
#10
I need help with this as well I have tried to talk to women my age but none seem to care. They assume i am just trying to bed them and pay people to be my friend or distract me so they can run yeah run these are supposed Christians.

I find that the thing that annoys me most is when a young women looks for a guy picks out an idiot and gets dumped then complains with the fact there are no good guys out there. If i do manage to get close to a girl it allways goes wrong they suddenly turn into a lesbian or are bi or are just really annoying what turned into a blessing of a relationship turns into a chore and i dont want to be that person. It doenst matter if its a christian or not I find most women have had intercourse since 15 yrs and i look inexperianced cuz i saved myself.

So my advice to anyone trying to date is give up. and if anyone can fix my problem with some advice it would be appreciated.
 
Elizabeth619

Elizabeth619

Senior Member
#11
Jul 19, 2011
6,397
109
48
#11
geexdeex1234 said:
Hello,
I am turning to the internets because I have a problem and I do not have many friends that arre practicing Catholics/Christians.

I am experiencing my first relationship but there is a huge problem. Though I probably know what most people are going to say, I need advice from people that share my beliefs.
I am a devout Catholic and my boyfriend is an atheist. It is especially hard because he truly is a great guy. He is kind, warm hearted, helps everyone, isn't mean to people, and he doesn't make fun of me, pressure me into changing how I feel or try to tell me I am wrong.
Though these are great things, it is not good enough. I pray everyday that he opens his heart to God and I do not force anything down his throat but I also do not hide my frustration and sadness for how he feels about God.

I really don't know what to do. We haven't been together terribly long but we have been friends for a long time. I have very strong feelings for him and he is just a boyfriend and we are young but I really don't know what to do.
My friends don't understand why this upsets me so much because they are not practicing and religion is not important to them. My boyfriend understands why I worry so much and we do discuss our problems but, I just am really torn. I am very very happy but is that enough? Should I end it?

Thank you!
Click to expand...
I have been where you are more than once, and I know you probably do not like the advice some have given you on here. It is hard to swallow when Christians tell you to leave someone you care about, but the reason for many here to tell you this is because being with someone who is not a believer is a risk to your faith. No matter how devout you are it is still a risk.

I was with a man for almost 4 years. I was strong in my beliefs, but he was not. He said he believed in God, but later admitted he really didn't believe in the same God I did. He had no religion. All he knew was we were created.
After a while I stopped attending church services. I stopped associating with Christians in general. I talked down to them. I "hated" them. Much of this was due to his influence. He did not have God in his life, and it showed. I became unhappy, and he became controlling.
I am not saying your guy will do the same, but being around someone who cannot help you grow spiritually is very risky. Is he worth this? Is being with him worth the potential falling away from God?
 
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