Acquaintance vs. Friendship

[Tandemtruths]

I just wanted to survey, in a manner of speaking, what everyone considers as the similarities and more so, the differences between an acquaintance and a friendship. Also, your self definition of an adult(grown up, not xxx) friendship.

Now I know this is a departure from the regular topic of people looking for spouses and making sure everyone knows, but maybe, JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUST maybe there is some value in this . In all seriousness, knowing if there are variances in how others feel about this first hand, may modify our own considerations for others down the line.

Format however you like, just keep in mind the two main points.

 

[twofeet]

Christian friends to me are those I can chat about most stuff, guard down. Non Christian friends are similar but Im much more guarded over spiritual things. Acquaintances on both sides of the fence are people I will only share to a certain level. The bible says "above ALL guard your heart" so I do, carefully and with a lot of discernment. Its rare that a person becomes a friend in my life but I would rather have a few TRUSTED friends than lots I cant trust and cause problems

 

[Tandemtruths]

For me, a friendship is beyond just talking. It isn't just agreeing on topics, or hanging out and having fun. There is a support structure to it. There is a willingness to be there for someone, even when we don't really want to. Almost a sense of duty, but instead of through obligation, it's by love. Through that love, a bond is created. An acquaintance is someone we can talk to on a topical basis. Where we share interests, but other than that, feel little connection to.

I don't believe a friendship built on interests alone will last. It is the same as the friendships we made when we were children. We would find it just great when someone else liked Hotwheels and we would invite them, "Hey, do you want to be Hotwheels friends?" Did we even remember their names once summer break hit? To continue similar behavior into adulthood just seems silly. We can't possibly be a friend to everyone, so who do we prioritize?

At the same time personally, I struggle with mutual consideration. I shouldn't need anything in return for my actions, and I remind myself of this when I become frustrated. I may even be projecting my thought process upon others, and therefore seeing the contrast. It does get to me after a while though. In those situations where I share and remember, trying to be thoughtful with my actions; then having the other party not even pay me any thought, I could just spit lol. I love to be surprised, as it doesn't happen often.

Sad to say, this has been my history with every "friendship" I've ever had. I'm only considered when they need me for something, or I'm convenient. I won't complain though, because I have a friend I can always depend on in Jesus Christ. That is a bond that will never falter. So, like him I should give freely of myself with no expectation of return and only out of love. Even if my friends won't be my true friend, I'll be there's, because I can control that.

 

[Relena7]

An acquaintance is someone who I talk to regularly but we don't go very deep or personal, just mostly surface talk over a shared interest or circumstance.

A true friend is someone who pops up in my life continuously enough that I can't get rid of them, and they can't get rid of me. We connect on a deeper level, and are more loyal, sometimes even like family. Real friends you can share things about yourself that you can't with everyone else, and they don't judge it or put it down. They stick with you when times are tough.

I don't have many true friends, aside from my boyfriend.
I'm one of those all-or-nothing people when it comes to being friends. If we aren't close friend material, then it feels kinda pointless and awkward to hang out in the first place.

 

[Hellooo]

You already heard my thoughts on this in the room, Tandem, but I'll post here too

You totally nailed it with the feeling an obligation to another person, even when you don't want to. There is just an underlying understanding between friends that you're still ok with each other regardless of any conflicts that come up. Even when you don't particularly feel like being around them, or talking to them, or when you want to choke the life out of them, they're still YOUR person.

You're not really invested in an acquaintance. An acquaintance can come and go into and out of your life, without any obligation.


While there may not be mutual consideration from both parties, there's still a mutual understanding of a friendship bond....you don't have to prove that you're close by setting up weekly activities, calling each other every day, and filling up silences with small talk.

 

[Tandemtruths]

Couldn't they have hijacked a different thread? How rude these trolls are. They didn't even ask.

 

[HEIsRiSen]

There were three people that hijacked entire forums last night. There were at least 45 posts with that link. Most of them were removed, but I see that a few still remain...

 

[clee356]

First off, people who use or take advantage of their friends are just inexcusable. No one should have to be treated like that. I know unfortunately, there's many people like that in this world, but no one deserves a ''friend'' like that.

Of course as believers, we're called to be a body with one another, to love each other as God loves us. But it doesn't mean we have to give everyone the right to hurt us. Does that make sense?

I personally have always felt that you should never treat someone or see them as an acquaintance. Don't get me wrong, it's hard to trust people, and it's hard to find good people these days. But if you come across someone who....

-doesn't stand for what you believe
-you don't have peace about
-compromises your morals
-tries to take advantage of you
-is negative or down in the dumps often
-is superficial
-does not treat their friends the way they should

I personally feel that you should just leave them alone, and pray for them from afar. Not ignore them per se, but simply not allow them to influence your life for the worst.

A true friendship isn't perfect. It's quite simply, a two-sided friendship. Seems simple, but actually incredibly hard to attain and maintain. Both people have got to keep working at it, and both need to be sacrificial for the other.

It's really how most relationships should be. Not a half hearted ''acquaintance'' relationship, but a true friendship. And of course it's far more worth it to have one true friend than a string of people, who you only have surface conversations with.

 

[Robbinette]

Okay an acquaintance is someone that you've met and you know but you are not friends with them. The similarities between that and someone I have a friendship with are a couple of things. First of all if I see them out in public I'll say hey but if they were one of my friends I would go and hug them and see what they were doing the rest of the day and if we could hang out sometime. The second thing would be if they needed me. If an acquaintance needed me I would help them with what they needed but if it was a friend I would go above and beyond all my friends know all they have to do is call me and I'm there. My definition of an adult friendship would two people who have similar interests and are closer to each other than acquaintances. Honestly as I've gotten a little older I've noticed it's kind of hard to make new friends. People are always so busy and no one seems to want to take time out of their schedule to be a friend especially to someone they have just met. I love making new friends I love being there for people if they need a shoulder to cry on idk its just the way i am. You know its funny that we are talking about friends because I just deleted one that I thought I had made on here. So I had saw them first in the live chat room and they seemed really cool. So I'm still new and I saw that they had tried to chat with me but by the time I figured it out they had left. So I sent them a friend request on here and they accepted. So I sent them a message "hey I'm not sure if it was you that tried talking to me in the chat room but I wasn't ignoring you I just didn't know what I was doing yet lol" Okay so his reply was "ur a nutcase lol... stress less". Oh my gosh it hurt my feelings so bad. I kinda cried(like a two year old). So I just deleted him and I didn't respond. I mean the whole thing was stupid I'm new here and I'm trying to be friendly to everyone. So yeah haha thats my newest failure on making friends lol.