Looks or personality, or both?
- Thread starter Petals
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A
You don't wanna marry someone who you don't find attractive. maybe some people can push past that because they're so in love with their personality. But I feel like its damaging to a person if and when they realize their other half doesn't find them attractive. It would crush my heart to think that my husband married me for my personality but never really thought i was attractive.
that being said a pretty face won't always be pretty and its hard to live with someone who had a rough personality that you can't deal with. ^_^
that being said a pretty face won't always be pretty and its hard to live with someone who had a rough personality that you can't deal with. ^_^
J
Depends on your definition of fall... Could I actually develop a relationship worth romantically nurturing with a less than model-material nice guy? Certainly. I've done it before. Could I develop a relationship worth romantically nuturing with "The Rock" even if I find out he's a jerk (or any number of other things)? Well, I may cry a little 
, but no... Not Dwayne too
, but no... Not Dwayne too 
My personal take: I may be attracted to a person by their looks initially but if said person do not have good personality that I like, then his good looks will go kaput for me. On the other hand, I tend to get strongly attracted to a person with great personality (that I particularly like) who I might have initially thought were average looking person. To conclude, Good looks with great personality is an added bonus otherwise good looks alone is blah...
R
Everyone likes their looks to be appreciated by the people they love. It is more fair to the person you fall in love with if you like their looks too.
I personally am a believer that it's possible to learn to see someone as attractive that you hadn't previously because you like who they are so much.
But it's more romantic to say the attraction was mutual from the start. If you are worried you're shallow and don't want to be, then learn to see the beauty in flaws. You'll find there are a lot more pretty faces out there than you previously thought.
Oh, and to answer the original question - both.
I personally am a believer that it's possible to learn to see someone as attractive that you hadn't previously because you like who they are so much.
But it's more romantic to say the attraction was mutual from the start.
If you are worried you're shallow and don't want to be, then learn to see the beauty in flaws. You'll find there are a lot more pretty faces out there than you previously thought.Oh, and to answer the original question - both.
A
both and more. in that its not just looks or personality but a sharing of goals, dreams and commitment to one another and God that should be the foundation of any solid relationship.
i know a lot of people who I admire both their personality and looks but would not date because we do not share the same world view or values or dreams for the future or thoughts on raising children or love of God. therefore its more than just looks or personality.
i know a lot of people who I admire both their personality and looks but would not date because we do not share the same world view or values or dreams for the future or thoughts on raising children or love of God. therefore its more than just looks or personality.
I suppose its just strange for me. Physical attraction has never started for me until after I was very familiar with someone's personality. In fact, it doesn't even occur until after I do a pretty complex analysis of the situation between me and the other person. On reflection it might not even be physical attraction but something more based in a power dynamic that has physical characteristics being a big contributing factor.
... meh.
... meh.
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My personal take: I may be attracted to a person by their looks initially but if said person do not have good personality that I like, then his good looks will go kaput for me. On the other hand, I tend to get strongly attracted to a person with great personality (that I particularly like) who I might have initially thought were average looking person. To conclude, Good looks with great personality is an added bonus otherwise good looks alone is blah...
To each his own, though!
i think looks are the initial attraction but i do agree that the more you get to know someone the better (or worse) looking they become, my church tends to be referred to as "the good looking church" and there are a lot or physically attractive people there (there are also people who are less so) but i think the reason the name stuck is that the beauty of our personalities and the beauty of God in our lives shines out of us. there are people (both male and female) that i think have become better looking as i have gotten to know then (i am completely straight btw). when you see someone beauty, especially their inner beauty it is hard to unsee.