Can Opposites Really Attract?

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Elizabeth619

Elizabeth619

Senior Member
#1
Jul 19, 2011
6,397
109
48
#1
I have been seeing someone since November. We get along great. He treats me great, and we have grown quite close. The thing is we are TOTALLY opposite when it comes to our personality type. Where he is strong in something I am weaker in it, and vice versa. We even took a personality test one day for fun. TOTAL OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE SCALE.


How is it that some people who are so different can create a good balance?
Thoughts?




















Before Oncefallen finds this thread..NO I do not have him bound and locked in my basement. I don't have a basement.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
Well, i think you answered it yourself. You're weak, he's strong and vice versa. You balance each other by picking up each others slack in your weak areas, creating a symmetry that allows you to accomplish more as a pair than as individuals.
I know for me, in some areas of my life i want a person who is opposite of me. In person i can be more shy and quiet and not good at chit chat. But i'd like to date someone who is more social and can handle that stuff, that way i can stand there and not talk, and do what i'd rather be doing. Watching, listening and reading the person and not be uncomfortable trying to figure out what to say, and worrying i sound like an idiot. So i think these opposites, in some ways, are more ideal.
 
Elizabeth619

Elizabeth619

Senior Member
#3
Jul 19, 2011
6,397
109
48
#3
You made good points there.

I said the other day that when he does/says something stupid due to his stubborness then that is where I shine bc I go in and smooth it over. I told him I was there to make him look good.

Oh that so did not go over well with him.......
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#4
#4
hahaha, yeah, i wouldn't think smacking a mans ego would make him happy. =P
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#5
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
48
33
#5
I think Ugly brings up good points, but I also think it depends on what you're opposite in, and also how insistent one person is over the other. If you balance each other out, that's great. For example, I'm super laid back so maybe it'd be good for me to have someone who pushes me to be more adventurous. As long as it's a balance and not a push in one direction ("You need to be more adventurous all the time"), then I think it could work.
 
AAAPlus

AAAPlus

Senior Member
#6
Aug 2, 2011
601
10
18
#6
My thoughts on this kind of come from my own experiences. I've found that opposites do indeed attract, but in the long run they'll make each other miserable. An introvert will find an extrovert to be more adventurous and outgoing, while an extrovert will appreciate how calm and peaceful the introvert can be. But after a while, the introvert will be sick of going out and the extrovert will be sick of staying in.

That's the case of core personality differences. I think minor personality differences are a good thing; you probably won't find someone just like you and that's a good thing. In fact, I think that looking for a partner who has the same interests you do is a bad idea; men and women just tend to like different things. Long-term compatibility is the important part. So say the guy is a city boy and the girl is a born-and-raised country girl. But they both love Jesus and believe the same things, they're both somewhat introverted, and they both are going the same direction with their lives (maybe both of them want to go be a missionary...or neither of them do). I'd bank more on that couple. And there are still going to be areas where they complement each other. The guy will be really creative but not very patient and the girl will be patient but not very creative. There's no reason to be opposite and go against the grain your whole life.

I've definitely pursued the whole "opposites attract" deal, and I found that at first it's great because it's different, but after a while, different starts to lose it's luster and I realized that people only like to be around "different" for so long. There is a reason that "normal" is normal for people, and it's pretty much because that's the way they like things to be.
 
R

Relena7

Guest
#7
#7
Opposites attract if they work together using each others own strengths to compensate for their different weak spots. I believe it's possible for certain types to live in harmony this way.

Some opposites just plain clash though. They just can't work together because of pride or miscommunication issues.
It doesn't mean it's wrong. Some people were just not meant to be together for whatever reasons.
 
C

Chr

Guest
#8
#8
As long as you guys enjoy each other its all good.
 
P

psychomom

Guest
#9
#9
my husband and could not have been less alike when we first met.

i learned to love watching basketball and baseball. (especially basketball!)
he learned to love my non-fiction books and tolerates social events for my sake--maybe enjoys them a little. :)
just a couple of examples.

and yes, God often puts together people with opposite strengths, though i see married folks just taking turns picking up the slack all the time.

33 years and counting,
by the grace of God. ♥
 
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