judging others...

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Hollywood

Guest
#1
#1
this is a tough one for me. i will give three examples.
A family friend in prinevill. She helped lead me to christ by the love she and her family gave me, their example and lifestyle gave me a desire to know the Lord. She gossips though, about lots of people in her town who make mistakes and do wrong things.
Is she right in her own eyes? Do i bring up how I feel thats not how Jesus wants her to speak of others?
Another family friend stopped going to church and smokes marijuana as a relaxation from her anxiety, yet she still says she loves God and follows his ways. I do not think she has the right intentions or clearity of heart, but am i not supposed to judge what she feels is right between her and God?
And last, Malcolm X, I am curently reading his autobiography. He relates his ideas to those of christianity, and he shadows christianity in some ways in islam. What is my best defense against other religions? He is wrong, but I feel bad for saying that. Where is my boundry with judgmen and discernment with others and there actions?
What about the lost? Do i look past there sins while discerning them?
This is so troubeling for me. Any and all advice, please.
God bless.
 
J

JesusChaser

Guest
#2
#2
One thing that I have to remember for myself is that people that aren't saved don't have the same sets of standards as we do. I mean they can be good people and blah blah blah, but at the end of day they aren't serving Jesus like I am. Also yes it does say not to judge others that God has the final judgement and one of the reasons why we can't do that is because if we judge that makes us hypocrites because we do the exact same thing. We also need to remember that Paul said that we can tell who people are by their fruits or something along those lines. So if people are out drinking, partying, having babies, and things of that nature. . .aka sin. . .then are they christians? It's safe to say they are not. See I didn't judge them. . .judging someone is looking down your nose at someone.

Hope that helped some. :D
 
Z-e-N

Z-e-N

Member
#3
May 24, 2005
34
0
6
#3
One thing that I have to remember for myself is that people that aren't saved don't have the same sets of standards as we do.
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Also yes it does say not to judge others that God has the final judgement
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You are the biggest hypocrite I have ever seen.

Hollywood: I know exactly what you are going through. I know a person who at first seemed to be very nice and Christianlike. But once I got to know them, that person started to gossip about other people. If there is one thing I've learned about people it's that if they gossip, they gossip about everyone and do it only behind their backs. So needless to say I no longer socialize with this person anymore.

By the way, why do you need a "best defense against other religions?"
 
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NoTearsShed

Guest
#4
#4
That is tough one, i myself dont gossip like i used to BUT there is still ONE thing i need to work on,
& that is about slutty girls, When they put their selfs out there you know doing the dirty in the restroom or parking lot i end up not liking them for being so slutty & trying to do it will cute guys, taken guys Or even out in the real world they do it with married men, so i start to talk calling them what they are...
Yes i know tsk...tsk...tsk me A LOT because i should not be talking even though i am still a virgin i still cant talk because i know i have done bad things in my past... maybe not the same as them but still bad & im now innnocent or near innocent.

LIke Jesus Chaser said,
So if people are out drinking, partying, having babies, and things of that nature. . .aka sin. . .then are they christians? It's safe to say they are not. See I didn't judge them. . .judging someone is looking down your nose at someone.
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He or she..sorry i dont know your gender =/ is correct.
I need to really work on the whole not gossiping about sluts...or calling them what they are...

Now as for say someone who is christian talking about others like for example "I heard sally & jason broke up because sally thinks jason is ugly , she should not be talking because shes ugly to...& so on" thats gossip... & if she talks bad about everyone then maybe you can tell her that if she can please stop because it only makes her look like a gossiper & she makes you feel like if you say anything or do anything once you turn your back she will talk about you.... your not being rude & your letting her know you dont like it...

As christians well NOT all christians are nice... theres some who really make christians look bad in the eyes of some...But thats not something i want to talk about because God is still God & no matter what sins we make he is still righteous =)
 
C

ChristopherMichael

Guest
#5
#5
JesusChaser said:
One thing that I have to remember for myself is that people that aren't saved don't have the same sets of standards as we do. I mean they can be good people and blah blah blah, but at the end of day they aren't serving Jesus like I am.
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I think what he's saying ZeN is that he has different convictions than other Christians, not that he's better than them (I think).

Drinking, partying, having babies, and things of that nature. . .aka sin. . .then are they christians? It's safe to say they are not. See I didn't judge them. . .judging someone is looking down your nose at someone.
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Disagree bro! You can say someone doesn't seem to be living a Christian lifestyle, but probably not whether they are Christian or not. Also, the things you listed are kind of weak. Drink and partying can be done by Christians, and be a wonderful fellowship activity, so long as it's of the right sort. Having babies is a good thing when done by married peeps. Just sayin!

Sorry guys, didn't mean to derail the convo.

- Topher
 
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wwjd_kilden

Guest
#6
#6
Question to Hollywood: Is marijuana legal where that person is using it? (as it is for anxiety) If it is, in my opinion it is no worse than smoking tobacco, drinking or other stuff that people normally do. Not a good thing of course, but still the same as any other drug (alcohol included).

the term of "christian" is getting kinda ragged... In Norway people get angry at me for telling them they're NOT Christians and they're not saved :S (Here many believe in "some kind of God", and then proclaim themselves Christians, without believing in Christ). It's really frustrating

as for the lifestyle,like CM said you can be Christian without leading a christian lifestyle (Not saying that is good, but I have yet to meet a christian not doing anything the bible says is wrong...)
 
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Jezreel

Guest
#7
#7
Gossip is a bad sin. The word says in 1 Corinthians 6:9 But I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a slanderer, or a drnkard, or an extortioner; with one not to even sit down and eat with.
You don't like hearing it because it would grieve your spirit. The tongue is the filthiest member of the body. If anybody is overtaken with a sin, let those who are spiritual restore one in a spirit of meekness lest yourself be tempted. If I were you, I would pray about it and share with her how uncomfortable it is for you to hear her speak evil of others. If she were discerning and not judging, and God was showing her those things about others, she would keep it to herself and she would pray for them. "He that covers a transgression seeks love, but he that repeats a matter separates friends. A talebearer's words are as wounds, they go down into the innermost parts of the body" (proverbs)
Even though I am not a young Christian, I felt compelled to answer because of all the horrible damage I have witnessed due to he gossip and talebearing of so called Christians. My mother in law had such a bad sin of it, she was corrected a few times by the leadership and she would repent, then, turn around and do it again. She alienated her family and the body of Christ and they quit going over to see her because of her negative critical spirit. When you are bitter and angry, God will turn such a one over to the tormentors until they pay all that is due them. Talebearing can be even worse than drunkeness and unfortunately, in this one church that was a United Pentecostal that I went to many years ago, sins of gluttony and gossip were happily practices. They would be judgemental and cruel in nature to those who wore their hair different and wore pants etc and did not fit into their clique. They portrayed a very mean ugly kind of Christ to many people and turned many people off and away. Also, the women were out of control and wore the pants in the church even though they did not wear "mens clothing" it was ironic how they run the church.
You friend is young and I am not encouraging you to just drop her of course. She may be learning it at home from her parents. There are people who are one way at home and other ways at church and they also behave and speak differently maybe when you are not around. Be assured, that if they are talking about others behind their backs, they are most probably talking about you behind your back. I raised my children to not say anything about anybody unless you are willling to say it to their face first. My girls and son thank me to this day for teaching them to speak the truth to others and not behind their backs as long as it is done with a kind spirit and love.
 
K

Kyra

Guest
#8
#8
Hollywood great post. You sound like you are in a place to grow because you are facing questions and seeking truth- which is awesome. I want to encourage you to always go to the Bible and test what people say, including me. Test what I say below and ask God to give you understanding and wisdom.

1.) Your christian friend who gossips: There are some scripture passages I would like to bring up- first
Galatians 6:1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.

If you were caught in a sin, wouldn't you want a friend who loved you to come and speak to you about it? I would and Proverbs tells us clearly that if you rebuke a wise man he will love you. (Proverbs 9:8)

The flip side is also in Proverbs and it cautions us to not rebuke those who are wicked, foolish or mockers. They will not listen and may even retaliate.
Proverbs 9:7 Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult; whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse.

So I would encourage you to seek God. Pray for discernment. Think about what kind of person she is and respond in both wisdom and love.

Now you say BUT isn't that judging?

Let's talk about judging....
 
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Kyra

Guest
#9
#9
The key judging passages are as follows: ( I didn't post them with the entire chapter because I like to keep things short, but please read the whole passage, context is crucial) ( I left out john 7:24 because I think that is self explanatory)

Matthew 7
1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Luke 6
37"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

Stop. Reread those verses. Both times it tells us that the way we judge others is the way we will be judged. Jesus is talking about a very specific kind of judgement, he is talking about judgment without love. The kind that NOONE wants.

Unfortunately it is also the easiest to give when someone is your enemy. Which is why, right before these verses, Jesus calls us to love our enemies. (The hardest of the hardest commands in my opinion.)

Ok so how does this play out?
If you look at me and see that I am doing something wrong and come to me and say you're going to hell and then turn around and bad mouth me behind my back. Is that how you would want to be treated? No.
This is the judgement Jesus is talking about here. We all have things that someone could use to make us look bad and condemn us.

What about if you saw me in sin and prayed for me and after seeking God, came and gently confronted me, in love. Is that how you would want to be treated? Yes. And that is what Galatians 6:1, Matthew 18:15 & Ephesians 4:25 encourage us to do, love one another and speak truthfully to them.

So if you are going to rightly act and properly use this passage, use it in context with the rest of the bible and apply it off the page by asking yourself: Would I want someone to treat me this way?

Because that is exactly what God is trying to do here, he wants us to see how we treat others and treat them the way He would, rejoicing in the truth and loving them like crazy, regardless of who they are.

 
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Leilaii425

Guest
#10
#10
Z-e-N said:
You are the biggest hypocrite I have ever seen.

Hollywood: I know exactly what you are going through. I know a person who at first seemed to be very nice and Christianlike. But once I got to know them, that person started to gossip about other people. If there is one thing I've learned about people it's that if they gossip, they gossip about everyone and do it only behind their backs. So needless to say I no longer socialize with this person anymore.

By the way, why do you need a "best defense against other religions?"
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you are the biggest hypocrite i have ever seen????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? seriously...
 
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