Feeling better about people and life.

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shalomandme

Guest
#1
#1
I know serving God can result in people not liking you but what about people not liking me for just me. There has to be something wrong with me. Why is it that even when I'm nice to people they dislike me? Them when I give them something to complain about they feed of it 24/7. Sometimes I think to myself screw them! I know God has big things for my future so when they reject me now when I'm living the good life they will come begging. But this is the wrong mentality ovbviously. However, the rejection, unpopularity and unhappiness is tiring! I should have been dead but by His grace I am still alive but life is becoming so sad and therapy isn't working :-(
 
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shalomandme

Guest
#2
#2
Do you know how it feels like to not get invited to events or to be wanted there by people you call close friends and even family! I feel ashamed of myself! I wish God made me prettier maybe life would be easier! I just see myself going back down that dark road again. I don't want to ever go there but this is intense.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#3
#3
Likeability has little to do with looks. If you think being prettier would magically make everything all better you have some seriously wrong perceptions of reality. What makes people like you is more about how you present yourself, your attitude, your body language, the way you treat people.
I don't know you, so i can give any ideas what exactly the problem is. No one on here can. But perhaps you need to step back and reconsider how you treat people. Talk to people. Are you negative all the time. Do you tend to criticize people, their ideas or opinions without noticing it? Do you walk around closed off, mopey and miserable? What kind of body language do you present when you meet someone? Or just in general. Do you wear things that might be off-putting to people before they even meet you?
Most likely one or more of these areas is the problem. Take a good look at yourself, and not through depressed, self critical eyes seeking out flaws to beat yourself up with. But seek out areas you could improve.

Some simple things is try to avoid keeping your arms folded a lot when around people. Many people view this as a closed off, unfriendly stance and will keep their distance, or maybe feel uncomfortable when talking to you.
When talking to people use their name every so often. Such as when you see someone you know greet them like 'hey rick, how you doing?' or when finishing 'talk to you later, rick'. Or asking an occasional question.. 'so, rick, where were you born?'. Just be careful not to use it a lot and force it or it may come across odd.
 
SeanS

SeanS

Banned
#4
Jan 14, 2013
124
0
0
#4
shalomandme said:
Sometimes I think to myself screw them! I know God has big things for my future so when they reject me now when I'm living the good life they will come begging.(
Click to expand...
What im going to suggest you did is going to be so-counter cultural, but its what our Lord told us to do.

In Luke 6:31 Jesus says to his listeners, 'Do unto others as you would want them to do to you'. We often take this in the negative and we say 'don't do to others what we wouldn't want them to do to us', but Jesus meant it in the positive. You can see this down in verse 35 where he says 'Love your enemies, and do good, and lend expecting nothing in return'. When somebody treats you so badly, despises you and maligns you, turn around and treat them the way you would love someone to treat you. But why?

3 Reasons, firstly because God did that for you, the bible says before we were saved we were 'haters of God' yet God turned to us and lved us and gave us the most costly gift available (1 Peter 1:18). That's why in verse 36 he says 'be merciful, just as your father is merciful'

Secondly verse 35 says 'your reward will be great', what is that reward? Verse 38 tells us 'Give and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and overflowing. For by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you in return'.

Jesus is not talking about what God is going to return to you, he is talking about what your enemies will return to you, that's why he says 'they'. Jesus is teaching, when someone constantly treats you badly and you turn around and give to them, and treat them in love, this is a beyond human response and it will hit them so deep that they won't be able to help themselves but give back to you in extreme measure.

Thats why in proverbs 25:21-22 it says 'if your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink, for you wil heap burning coals on his head'.

And finally verse 32 says 'if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them'. When you show someone love who hates you, they will know this is a love that sinners are unable to show, thus it will testify of God living in you and there is a chance you will save your enemy.
 
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Powemm

Guest
#5
#5
Know you are not alone.. And that many people struggle with this .. I came to a place where I realized I was becoming the very thing I didn't like .. What I mean by that is , I would take offense instead of just continuing to be who I am.. Before long .. I was acting the very same way.. So keep the image of that good in your heart.. Where you want to see yourself being and keep walking that way ..
 
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