My husband and I are believers, but he smokes weed. I don't like it

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Truthraines

Guest
#1
#1
I am a worship leader, devout God loving southern girl raised up pretty conservatively I guess you could say. My husband is a new Christian. He's from Brazil and is totally okay with smoking weed and drinking with his friends. I know what Gods word says about it but he doesn't want to hear it bc he truly enjoys that experience with them. I'm walking in the other direction. I want God to control my every move I make. But he sees that as no fun. He can't see the reward of being obedient to Gods words and will not hear it from me. I'm worried our marriage is in danger and we have a little boy. I don't know how to handle this on my own. Absolutely none of my family knows or my friends. They would be so ashamed of him bc he's such and awesome person, just keeps messing up in those areas. Any advice believers?
 
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dashadow

Guest
#2
#2
It's amazing how many people would be so awesome if it weren't for one or two things.

I have an older brother who is drinking himself to death. One day I asked him what could be done to help him stop. He said nothing and that he liked drinking and getting drunk. I don't bring it up anymore. I just pray for him. If someone is unwilling to let go of something, I'm not sure it does much good to try and force them. But each of us has to let the Lord guide us in that regard.

Pray for him and keep your focus on God, for your sake and your son's sake. God Bless!
 
homwardbound

homwardbound

Senior Member
#3
Oct 24, 2012
14,969
99
48
#3
Truthraines said:
I am a worship leader, devout God loving southern girl raised up pretty conservatively I guess you could say. My husband is a new Christian. He's from Brazil and is totally okay with smoking weed and drinking with his friends. I know what Gods word says about it but he doesn't want to hear it bc he truly enjoys that experience with them. I'm walking in the other direction. I want God to control my every move I make. But he sees that as no fun. He can't see the reward of being obedient to Gods words and will not hear it from me. I'm worried our marriage is in danger and we have a little boy. I don't know how to handle this on my own. Absolutely none of my family knows or my friends. They would be so ashamed of him bc he's such and awesome person, just keeps messing up in those areas. Any advice believers?
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I did this for years including drinking I had love for others and did not condemn others and did not see what I was doing to myself. When others tried to tell me I rebelled and it made me go into all the more, for sin Sister takes ocassion by the commandment. When yuo were growing up and were told you are being punished for yuor wrong doing go to your room. Tell where you there in yuor room as commanded? I mean Spiritually sure physically yes, but in your mindset were you?
We all have this rebellious attitude in us it is born in each of us, some to more degrees than others yet still there.
Now through discipline you sound like you learned to behave because of fear.
And true wisdom starts with wisdom ( the fear of the almighty) God but as one grows in wanting to know Christ and the Father of one sees perfect love that casts out all fear and this casting out is realising waht is beneficial or not.
Now I and you know that what is going on is not beneficial to you, to him, to God, and to your baby.
So let us both agree in prayer for God to show him truth from God and this takes our trust in God to use whomever God decides for God knows who will listen the Holy Ghost inside of them to give the right words at the right time to set this man free from and see what and were his responsibilities are with such logic that he can't do anything except agree to what is needed to be and forsake this dead end street.
Matthew 10:16-20 has a relation to what I Just said above
[SUP]16 [/SUP]Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.
[SUP]17 [/SUP]But beware of men: for they will deliver you up to the councils, and they will scourge you in their synagogues;
[SUP]18 [/SUP]And ye shall be brought before governors and kings for my sake, for a testimony against them and the Gentiles.
[SUP]19 [/SUP]But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak.
[SUP]20 [/SUP]For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you.

Father's will be done all in his love providede at the cross for all to come to thier senses, Thank you Father for hearing our prayer
homwardbound
 
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Truthraines

Guest
#4
#4
I just don't know what else to do. I have prayed my heart out, but he will not change unless he wants to change. I know God will not force himself on anyone. He justifies his actions as a part of him and a part of his culture. But he KNOWS God is real, but he still doesn't see anything wrong with what he's doing. I have shown him scriptures over and over again, but he thinks im just trying to "change him" bc I don't love him for who he is. Hate the sin, love the sinner. What do you do when they don't think they are sinning though. He's very loving and not a terrible person though. He thinks I'm judging him and having no compassion for his wants. But I cannot watch him destroy our marriage and our lives. He's saying it's only a big deal bc im making it a big deal. He says I'm building the wall between when I get angry that he's smoking or drinking. Trust me I'm praying, I guess it's just a matter of waiting on God to move in him. But he's very hard headed and im afraid he will hit Rock bottom before he gives his whole life to God. Im wanting to be in the ministry of spreading Gods word, but I feel like there's this huge secret in our closet so God won't allow me to be used for his glory until my husband gets right with him :((
 
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Theophane

Guest
#5
#5
Personally, I think the biblical argument against drunkenness (drinking alcohol to the point of inebriation) can be applied to getting stoned. Jesus warned the disciples about drunkenness. 1 Peter 5:8

New International Version (NIV)

[SUP] 8 [/SUP] Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
 
homwardbound

homwardbound

Senior Member
#6
Oct 24, 2012
14,969
99
48
#6
Truthraines said:
I am a worship leader, devout God loving southern girl raised up pretty conservatively I guess you could say. My husband is a new Christian. He's from Brazil and is totally okay with smoking weed and drinking with his friends. I know what Gods word says about it but he doesn't want to hear it bc he truly enjoys that experience with them. I'm walking in the other direction. I want God to control my every move I make. But he sees that as no fun. He can't see the reward of being obedient to Gods words and will not hear it from me. I'm worried our marriage is in danger and we have a little boy. I don't know how to handle this on my own. Absolutely none of my family knows or my friends. They would be so ashamed of him bc he's such and awesome person, just keeps messing up in those areas. Any advice believers?
Click to expand...
It takes time to see the love ans it takes time to respond to it, all I can say is what is God telling you in your heart, noit the world and how it will react if they find out. Are you afraid of others and losing your place where yuo have worked so hard to be at?
Has he been accepted by God? Have you been accepted by God? Will you lose your acceptance with God because of this?Be honest with yourself.
Now I quarantee you as long as you continue to make him aware of he is not suppose to do what he is doing is and has caused a rift between the two of you. I am not saying you are to not be concerned, I am saying noone can control another, and when I, you or anyone is feeling like others are trying to control thier behavior thier behavior ususally solidifies stronger into doing what ever it is they are doing. And if ever bugged long enough that person recants in front of you and hides that past behavior from you and Wow things get worse.
I would be glad that he is honest and has free choice, for you it is bad behavior, but to him it is not and until and if he ever agrees that this behavior is not beneficial, he will continue to do it. Just please refrain from reinforcing his behavior by commandment. For sin
Romans 7:8
But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of coveting. For apart from the law, sin was dead.
Romans 7:9
Once I was alive apart from the law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died.
Romans 7:10
I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death.
Romans 7:11
For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death.
Romans 13:9
The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
therefore just love him to see truth as God has already loved us all
1 cor 13:4-8
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails.
Love Sister never fails, keep loving as God does and is doing, seek this truth from God
Thank you. And be prepared as in it never changing so if never does then you won't be upset, yet if it does Love that always eventually comes through wiil rejoice over truth winning out over ignorance. God while we all were yet sinners died for each of us and is patiently waiting for each of us to come to truth that sets each of us free and you are in bondage over this, and need to be set free from this whether he continues or not
Love you Sister, hoping God shows this to you all the to homeplate
 
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