Why do so many girls / women expect a man

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secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#21
May 3, 2013
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#21
Sofia20 said:
For me I want a guy who can make me laugh just because life is more fun like that. If he can make me laugh I think its gonna be a good time for the both of us not only me. You live on this earth only once so why make it a sad, boring, depressing place when you can be a happy, positive, laughing person. And laughter makes you live longer so ;) haha

And I agree with what people have written. I want friends also, not only a man that can make me laugh. Its like the best cure for everything ^_^ Even God makes me laugh so laughter is just an amazing thing to have. And if you can make other people laugh. Thats a gift =)
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Thank you, Sofia! You hit the nail. Allow me to say why:

Each time i see this "...I want a guy who can make me laugh..." I considered: Why NOT saying: "I want to make you laugh" or "I want to make you feel happy with me"?

In secrecy I have seen this as SELFISH. Why don´t I say: "I want to give you my best" instead of asking this and that...

I think I have fought against MY BEING selfcentered, selfish. Those persons I liked are nice, honest, sincere, etc. I often took them for waht they are, and I wasn´t sure what I was rejecting each time I heard those words I used to stard this thread. Perhaps I´m quite wrong on my perception, perhaps it´s the approching we foggy assumed to be "understood" on our likes or expectations, but I would like to develop a better way to be understood on these things we put on a list of expectations, while bypassing the punch list of what I HAVE to give: 1) Honesty 2) Loyalty... and more.

Thanks Sofia!
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#22
May 3, 2013
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#22
Dollydaydream said:
When I say stuff like that, it's because different guys have different senses of humor, and I want to be with someone who has the same sense of humor as me. I don't want him to be telling crude jokes or childish jokes or doing things that he thinks are funny while I think they're stupid. :p I want us to agree on what is funny.
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YeS! I think people tend to draw those who are alike. The bad news is when someone thinks he/she is happy or funny and we had another opinions she/he would not like.

Natural or genuine agreements are sought. Thanks!
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#23
May 3, 2013
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#23
MarkMulder said:
It's a well know fact girls don't really have a sense of humour. A girl will only laugh about a guy's jokes when she wants him to find her attractive, not necessarily because she "gets" his humour. So if a girl complains a guy doesn't make her laugh, it's because she thinks she doesn't get enough attention of him. [I speak from experience, trust me]

*hides* :rolleyes:
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I got what you meant... During dating or courtships that is seen but, it´s rare no one called your post as "unkind" because I have seen it, but I don´t dare to make a big generalization, blaming all human race. :)

Jokes are cast from any place to get attention, to TEACH, to be known wherever we are -and also- to avoid rejection. The possitive side of this is when those are not cruel or rude.

Thanks! :)
 
J

jjtj22

Guest
#24
#24
I think that all the other posters are correct in that humor needs to be compatible. .like I do not find south park humor funny at all so someone that does would probably not laugh at the same things I do.

But another angle is that women are under the god given authority of men so that when he is able to be gentle and relaxed and fun he will not be the type to bludgeon a lady with his authority. Like my husband is alot of fun, when I get stressed with the kids and house so when he comes in and gently teases and jokes it takes the edge off.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#25
May 3, 2013
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#25
Hmmm! I haven´t see it that way. those who lured me, as a child, seldom laughed. In school days, several times I enjoy one of those priest who taughed me but, when i broked the rules, they hit my hands and used to see authority the other way around...

I think it comes spontaneous, both from women or men. It fact, I have the impression that ladies, here, are funnies that ladies I have seen in the country were I live and, here on CC, those jokes are really sound and decent, by the way. The thing that were puzzling me was that: Some ladys put that on demand, as a preriquisite... Just as several people have recently said on a dating site: "I want, I want..." but i saw they were meager in telling what they would give in turn, as if "happiness" depends on one part solely (the men) and not assuming their co-worked part on contributing to the commonwealth of "joy" or "hapiness" both partners expect and deserve to be engaged or married.

Thanks JJTJ
 
J

jjtj22

Guest
#26
#26
Okay so maybe I am chiming in on something that is not my best expertise as I have not in the dating season of my life and haven't been in a long time but maybe I can shed some light on why christian girls seem excessively picky. (The fact that everyone is selfish aside)

You gentlemen definitely have the harder god given role of loving authority. It is kind of like my god given loving authority over my children but more difficult as a man's authority in marriage is over another adult that you can't just tell what to do! Lol! Our God given role as ladies are to submit to the husband's headship. So that is why the ability to make us laugh shows us that you won't be more hung up on your authority and less on the loving servant aspect of your role.

My husband is actually one boss among several at his job. Men from other crews always want to be on his crew because he is relaxed and fun while getting the job done as opposed to some who stress over everything and don't laugh. He also doesn't expect more of others than himself. Before ladies get upset I am not saying men are the boss just an analogy of men under good authority!

Definitely relationships are at their best when both parties are working together giving their all and I believe that is what God intends for marriage.

Hope this helps you understand a woman's position a little more. I pray that you find the one God has for you!
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#27
Apr 1, 2014
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Arizona
#27
Sometimes the best way to lighten up a hard and horrible day is a good hard laugh, maybe even a light cry afterwards. (happy cry)
 
V

vahngo

Guest
#28
#28
idk but it's very annoying and adds pressure to us guys
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#29
May 3, 2013
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#29
MarkMulder said:
It's a well know fact girls don't really have a sense of humour. A girl will only laugh about a guy's jokes when she wants him to find her attractive, not necessarily because she "gets" his humour. So if a girl complains a guy doesn't make her laugh, it's because she thinks she doesn't get enough attention of him. [I speak from experience, trust me]

*hides* :rolleyes:
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I believed you, though "that" works both ways. A living example are medias, if a product is designed for men, girls are shown laughing. If something is made for girls, those ads will show teeth and young gums. :D
 
Sjwho2

Sjwho2

Banned
#30
Jun 3, 2014
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#30
People want other people to make them happy. Natural.
 
A

Anna20fAustralia

Guest
#31
#31
A male friend of mine said to me that when girls say that they 'want a man who can make them laugh' he interpreted it to mean 'I want a guy to be like a performing seal'. I've not said that comment about guys since then !
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#32
May 3, 2013
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#32
Sjwho2 said:
People want other people to make them happy. Natural.
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It sound good, but I´m resposible for my MOOD, my state of mind and its responses (as on this thread). I could be "kind" or "funny" (when chances arives) but I felt it an obligation, a "responsibility" many expected MORE THAN NATURAL (Now I know it: I´m responsible for me, and those I love).

Thanks!
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#33
May 3, 2013
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#33
Anna20fAustralia said:
A male friend of mine said to me that when girls say that they 'want a man who can make them laugh' he interpreted it to mean 'I want a guy to be like a performing seal'. I've not said that comment about guys since then !
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Hi, Ann!

I wasn´t sure what was what I felt. It was something as you already know: I need a "clown" or someone who does it easy for me. That was what I was thinking of and the last 2 post made it clear to me.

Thanks!
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#34
May 3, 2013
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#34
Sjwho2 said:
People want other people to make them happy. Natural.
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That´s the easiest way to get things done... I don´t see it natural, it shows people´s laziness, as such as someone said: "I want anybody makes me happy"
 
MrsRoseTreasure

MrsRoseTreasure

Banned
#35
Feb 8, 2014
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#35
Besides, it's Biblical:
[h=1]Deuteronomy 24:5[/h] [h=2]When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business: but he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken.[/h]
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#37
May 3, 2013
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#37
MrsRoseTreasure said:
Besides, it's Biblical:
Deuteronomy 24:5

When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business: but he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken.
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That part of cheering her up is not for a year, but for her whole years together.

What puzzles me is how many spouses (both genders) like to spoil their marriage or relationship.

I can live with that!
 
S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#38
#38
I think many tend to romanticize romance.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#39
May 3, 2013
8,719
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#39
Just for my records>

Today, a Friday 13, my ex called me to help her find the passwords I used in the computer I gave her. The moment I was reading Siberian words, she ran the phone 2nd time, and more than 6 months have passed since we separated.

I asked her why she called me and she said her new laptop is being used and one of her sons needed to you the one I left.

I spent 23 mins one the phone trying to guess the passwords I left in my sesion... I did' t give certain secrets she tried to get.

She said she' s working on a new novel... I played my games to see what she really wanted and, before finishing this post/notes, she ran the phone the 3nd time to tell me that, what I have said, served her well to find out the password she needed to use in that PC (she asked me to go there tomorrow morning, but I said no, giving my excuses).

Idilic romances, dreams over a dream: true!

The moment I told her I was writing these thoughts, she laughed, she cheered up... and wanted to save her money asking me to call her back (I said no) and me called stingy, laughed a bit, and again she said she would call me back to tell me about her novel (I told her that, Friday 13 is the same our Martes 13) If she calls is OK, if she doesn' t is Ok too, because she got what she wanted and I know those movies...

It was nice to hear her voice! but I don' t bet to lose. :p
 
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