Feeling Isolated and Alone

TD14 · Feb 21, 2014

Well. I haven't posted on here in a long time. It was probably during my little 2 year downward spiral that i'm still pulling out of. Anyhow i'm now living on my own, well with 3 room mates. I rarely talk to them. Basically it's polite conversation. I'm living in a town where i know no one. I only go to class, out to eat, and to the store and then stay in my room the rest of the time. So i guess i thought i would try posting on here just reaching out to talk to people. I'm trying to get closer to God and fight my addiction but neither is going too well. I just really don't know what to do. Well i know what to do i need to start going to meetings again and find a church but i can't afford it with gas and my truck sucking down a quart of oil in 70 miles. That should be fixed soon, if it's not a deeper issue than i think.

So anyone have any thoughts or words of encouragement? I feel pathetic for even posting this but this beats the alternatives i could be doing and i know i gotta start reaching out somewhere since i can't physically because of money and cost. I try to read my Bible i have one and i just don't get into it. I haven't tried in a while but overall i guess i get bored with it. Maybe i'll get a boost from this thread because i'm dragging big time right now in every aspect other than school.

penknight · Feb 21, 2014

All good things come with time.

MrsRobinson · Feb 23, 2014

Hey, sorry to hear how low and alone you're feeling. I'm glad you trying to reach out here. I totally hear what you're saying about not being able to afford to even drive to church (which is a fantastic place to find family and connections). Would you be comfortable calling some of the churches in your area and asking if there is someone who could pick you up for church? I know that at my church we've had people do that and we jump at the opportunity to be able to help a person out with a ride. It's just an idea (that's how I got to and from church in university when I was away and didn't know anyone).
I hope that you can continue to reach out for help--so many people are wanting to help, they just don't know what to do or even who needs help. I hope you can get back to going to meetings for your addiction too. Keep climbing up! God absolutely loves you and has an incredible plan for your life! I love Romans 8:38-39 because I see not only God's love for us in it, but also His power and devotion for His children:

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Take care and please let us know how things are going and how we can be praying for you

Juanita

faroukfarouk · Feb 23, 2014

MrsRobinson said:

Hey, sorry to hear how low and alone you're feeling. I'm glad you trying to reach out here. I totally hear what you're saying about not being able to afford to even drive to church (which is a fantastic place to find family and connections). Would you be comfortable calling some of the churches in your area and asking if there is someone who could pick you up for church? I know that at my church we've had people do that and we jump at the opportunity to be able to help a person out with a ride. It's just an idea (that's how I got to and from church in university when I was away and didn't know anyone).
I hope that you can continue to reach out for help--so many people are wanting to help, they just don't know what to do or even who needs help. I hope you can get back to going to meetings for your addiction too. Keep climbing up! God absolutely loves you and has an incredible plan for your life! I love Romans 8:38-39 because I see not only God's love for us in it, but also His power and devotion for His children:

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Take care and please let us know how things are going and how we can be praying for you

Juanita

Hi Ms Robinson: this is a great quote from Romans 8 there! very assuring to the believer in the Lord Jesus, and from a wonderfully meaty and energizing chapter of the New Testament.

Blessings.

NightRevan · Feb 23, 2014

Hi there, I can only back what MrsRobinson said, and try and see if there is anyone who can drive you to meetings you need, and to help take you into a church with a community with a loving and honest fellowship, and that there are some people just waiting to help but don't know who needs it. I know what it like to have few people you can really talk to beyond polite surface talk, and when you are struggling with other issues it can make it very difficult, and you do feel very isolated, alone and it seems as though no one really sees you at all. However God does see you, He values you infinitely, and He will never abandon you, ever, He is will you right now and He won't cast you aside or never have time for you, but will be there when you need Him. And don't worry about having to carry this burden alone, just turn to Him and cast all your burdens on Him and allow Him to carry them with you, where your strengths fails He is ready and He is strong

. And you don't ever need to worry about failing, because no matter how many times your stumble on the path He walks with you, He will always pick you up, and nothing, not this addiction or anything else has any claim on you, on He does, He has already defeated every force of sin, evil, darkness and death, and He alone is Lord and nothing else is, and none of it has any right over you, only the freedom, love and life He wishes for you. And He will bring you through this, He will never fail you, all you need to do is trust in His faithfulness, and choose to believe Him and not any accusing lies that you won't make it or are worthless, or that you are defined by your addiction or that is has power on you, those are just impotent deceptions, so don't believe or accept them, instead choose to believe Him and His Truth. The Truth that He loves you infinitely, that none can take you from His Hands, that He died and was raised for you personally, that He loves you infinitely and that you are an heir and co-heir with Christ, the very Kingdom of God being yours, and nothing that comes against you is greater then God and can defeat His love for you, and His hold on you. He will bring you through and into the glorious future He has for you, into being the full and unique human being He always intended you to be, and He alone defines who you are, and nothing else

And I do pray that soon God brings you into a loving Christian fellowship that can come alongside you, and pray that he places you in some rich, true and deep friendships.

I hope God blesses, protects and guides you through this, and fills you with an awareness of His love for you and His saving power in your life

Pro7o7ype · Feb 24, 2014

Hey man. if you need anyone to talk to, send me a private message. im 20 years old from australia. im christian but its not a topic i talk about with people really. i just keep it to myself generally besides on this site

if you just need a friend man, i am always around to talk

wont be offended if you pass on it

ServantHood · Feb 24, 2014

Show yourself faithful in the small things, and then you can be faithful in the bigger things. I was in my room, isolated, alone, when God came and reach out to me. He came into my room in a light, and I saw a cross on my wall in the middle of the night, that shone at 3 AM, in my room. The next day, I woke up, and saw a Bible for the first time. Start by cleaning your room, start by brushing your teeth. Start by going back to the basic things of life. Cleaning the dishes, doing chores faithfully. Cut the grass, and eventually, you'll find yourself in a place where God wants you. It takes time, but it takes your part. You can't expect God to do your part for you. He will always do His, but it's up to you to do yours. Now, the word is true, pick up your cross, and be faithful in the small things. Eventually, God will give you the bigger things in life.

You'll find all of this in the book of Peter. I am in the same position, and I need to start somewhere. Why not start here at your house? In your room? God will provide, but when He does provide, our morals and characteristics will make us quit what ever he has provided, howbeit be a job, wife, or a calling. Even if God gave you a job where you made $40,000k a year, your addiction will make you quit that job before you even get your hands dirty in the job. Learn to keep the basic things in life first. And God will give the rest, as you faithfully progress, you will learn how to defeat your addiction, and the power that God has set for you in grace. Take care, I hope this helps, make sure to apply it in your life. Also, to always pray, cry in tears, and seek after His face for guidance, help, and to perform these task.

TD14 · Feb 25, 2014

Thanks for the replies. You all make great points.

Juanita- I don't like getting rides from people. Atleast not until i get to know them well.

ServantHood- What you mention is a good point. Honestly up until my parents moved from their house on a half acre of land into condos, i done a lot better. I enjoy doing yard work and fixing cars so i had plenty of room and things to keep me busy. Once we moved the condos had nothing for me. I couldn't even work on a car without having to look over my shoulder to make sure i didn't cross the condo association. But back on track what you say is true having the little things help to make staying faithful in bigger things easier. College is helping with that, even if i had to put math on the back burner.

I just hope after spring break i get my truck fixed and maybe things can start changing. When i have a running vehicle that runs and i don't have to worry all the time makes going to meetings and church a lot more plausible. Right now i'm afraid to drive my truck to class for fear the engines going to blow up.

eugenius · Feb 25, 2014

I'm sure there are many things I don't know or understand about your situation, but how can you live with 3 people and almost never talk to them? It would help you a lot with your loneliness if you tried to make friends with them. Are they really so different from you? Are any of us really that different from each other?

ji · Feb 25, 2014

TD14 said:

Don't be self condemning.i lived the way you are living now for around 2 years.i know how it feels.But God never left me.There is a restoration point.And for that you must continue.Just hold on if nothing else works.God will give you the mind set to Pray.And He will strengthen you and use you for His Kingdom.your sincerity matters to God.It's not about how sinless you are that matters,but sincerity.Where you are weak,He is STRONG and ABLE.If not i should be dead for 3 years now.Grace of God will make you overcome all addictions.No matter how pathetic.
you needn't force prayer,you can talk to God at any time.Give all your distress and anger to God.He is strong to handle you.He is Almighty Father.And when you let go truly even if by taking time,God will bring changes.He will change you into the man He wants you to be.Becoming rich in this world is not important,but knowing and Living for Jesus is.God will restore you to the point where what lost will be given back many times fold.i am not talking about money,but things that cannot be brought with money like Peace,Calmness,Endurance,Love of God etc filling your life wherever you go.money will be an added exception.you might not bother about it too much,because God will fill you up with his peace so much that you start sharing Gospel.

Jesus will not forsake you.Taste and see that the Lord is Good,its not because we are good,but He is Good and that Good can transform us and make us overcome all additions and situations.That's how it works.self righteousness make us proud and arrogant,but Righteousness of God make us Humble like Jesus.God Bless.

ji · Feb 25, 2014

eugenius said:

i have lived like that,you can be in the same room,but never had heart felt talk.It's just formal talk and everybody minding their own business.Its really a lonely situation.

JoshJoseph2 · Feb 25, 2014

I can relate a lot with you. (addiction, not reading the bible, feeling isolated and alone are all things I am currently dealing with). My advice will be dealing with some of the things I do feel I know a bit about as I have thought deeply about them myself, this isn't advice for all your problems but only the isolation and feeling alone, I am currently going through this and feel I should also listen to my own advice here.

Perhaps try to find ways to go to church, taking a bus or train or a bike or walking there may work out for you or perhaps you may need to look at the situation and ask yourself if you are willing to over look not liking taking rides with people you don't know and give a church a call and see if they will send someone to pick you up. This may be for the greater good of fixing your feelings of being alone and isolated. (basically willing to take a ride with someone to fix your feeling of being alone and isolated)

When you get to the church, try and get connected into activities that would make friends (young adult groups, bible study, volunteering, ect) All these things are ways to make friends. My other advice is when you are doing these activities, try and make an effort. Often times I did a lot of these activities, I realized I wasn't really making that effort, I was very stand offish and often because of fear of rejection did not want to look like I was making an effort. This type of behavior is very tough to make friends because a lot of people who see this type of behavior may think you don't want to be friends with them. For me I was isolated for a fairly long period of time in my life and am still dealing with it now, it may be very nervous for you at first to socialize but give it time and you may get better at it.
I wish you the best here and you are in my prayers man, God bless.

TD14 · Feb 26, 2014

To the question about how i can live with three people and hardly interact. Boils down to our schedules are all over the place. One guy works first shift. The other works second shift. The third is military reserve and going to college. So it gets crazy and we are in and out of here at all hours. That and when we are here at the same time people are either sleeping or in their rooms. To be fair i wanted this to an extent. I didn't want room mates who constantly feel you need to talk all the time. One of the guys i talk to some but we don't have a lot in common other than i like the car he has. I don't really have a lot in common with any of my room mates though.

Things are getting a little better depending how you wanna look at it. My truck lost it's mind and was giving me issues to the point i had it towed to my mechanics and got one of my parents cars. I'll drive just about anything but when the truck didn't wanna stop that's where i draw the line. I like all my appendages and body parts as they are. So i have reliable transportation now and even if i don't get my truck fixed next week i'll have reliable transportation since my parents are letting me keep their vehicle until my truck is fixed. So i'm hoping this gets things heading in a better direction.

JoshJoseph2 · Feb 27, 2014

Good luck TD14, hope things get better for you.

todo · Mar 19, 2014

I'm happy to hear you have reliable transportation. I just graduated from a college in a small town and can relate to most of your situation. A few things might look into are on campus christian groups/organizations and see if any pastors regularly visit campus. I know there where several throughout the week and we would sit in the food curt and talk a few times a week. Look and see whats going on and if you might be able to participate in a young adult/college group during the week while your already at school.

faroukfarouk · Mar 25, 2014

TD14 said:

Well. I haven't posted on here in a long time. It was probably during my little 2 year downward spiral that i'm still pulling out of. Anyhow i'm now living on my own, well with 3 room mates. I rarely talk to them. Basically it's polite conversation. I'm living in a town where i know no one. I only go to class, out to eat, and to the store and then stay in my room the rest of the time. So i guess i thought i would try posting on here just reaching out to talk to people. I'm trying to get closer to God and fight my addiction but neither is going too well. I just really don't know what to do. Well i know what to do i need to start going to meetings again and find a church but i can't afford it with gas and my truck sucking down a quart of oil in 70 miles. That should be fixed soon, if it's not a deeper issue than i think.

So anyone have any thoughts or words of encouragement? I feel pathetic for even posting this but this beats the alternatives i could be doing and i know i gotta start reaching out somewhere since i can't physically because of money and cost. I try to read my Bible i have one and i just don't get into it. I haven't tried in a while but overall i guess i get bored with it. Maybe i'll get a boost from this thread because i'm dragging big time right now in every aspect other than school.

Hi there! persevering with daily prayer and Bible reading is very important, whatever else.

Blessings.

TheAristocat · Mar 25, 2014

TD14 said:

You definitely look older than 21. Must be the beard. But in case you're not... I've found that at least in my life blessing comes when I wait patiently on God and keep trying to do what I'm supposed to be doing and avoid those things I'm not supposed to. Last time it took a couple years of patience, working at a part time job, feeling like I was isolated from the world and from my goals and getting left behind. But the worst was over after the first year, and after the second year I now feel God had blessed me tremendously and is continuing to do so well into the fourth year. And life is getting better every year. But if I compare where I was when I was 21 with where I am now God has allowed me to accomplish so much. So don't give up on God, and he won't give up on you. Temper your conscience in God's word and then go that extra mile to follow it. Take obeying God seriously, search for the leaven in your life and get rid of it.

faroukfarouk · Mar 28, 2014

todo said:

Yes, fellowship is very valuable.

John in his First Epistle, chapter 1, says: 'If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another'; 'Truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with His Son Jesus Christ'.

TD14 · Mar 29, 2014

Aristocat- Your comment on my age gave me a good laugh. Mainly because that picture is from when i graduated highschool back in 2010. I wasn't even 18 then. I graduated 3 months before i turned 18. If yall saw me now which i need to get a current picture up i look even older probably. Still rocking the beard though. Been around since i was about 13.

Also sorry i hadn't been on here in a while. Class 5 days a week and fighting with a mechanic about getting a truck fixed sucks the energy out of a person. I'm still feeling alone and isolated. My truck has yet to get fixed and i finally got tired of waiting and it's going to another shop on Monday or Tuesday. My mechanic has had it 5 weeks and ain't touched it, enough is enough. So basically still in the same position and with my class schedule and money by the time the weekend hits i have no energy usually to go do anything or like this weekend i'm at my parents. So hopefully once this block of courses ends around May and i have my truck back i may be able to get out more. I'm trying to make friends on dating sites or even find someone to just go out to dinner with but for some reason not having much luck. Maybe i scare them off or they think i'm a fake because i look older than i am. lol.

As for on campus ministry type stuff, i try to avoid it. Not saying it's bad but it's usually not my cup of tea. I come from a background as far as church goes that it's more i guess one would say conservative. From what i have found and heard a lot of the campus ministry isn't what i'm after. Not saying it isn't right for some just not right for me. That being said i'm not ruling it completely out but i would probably look at other options first.

todo · Mar 30, 2014

Sorry to hear you are still lonely. If you want to just talk with some one feel free to messenger me

. Also as far as campus ministries go, I would look for something connected to a conservative church in the area. (ok last time i'll bring it up)

Feeling Isolated and Alone

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