Abused

PrincessTT · Jul 18, 2014

hi! I'm new to this chat site.I joined because I need suggestion/ prayer/ somebody to talk to about this. I'm 21 and my boyfriend physically, sexually, and emotionally abuses recently found out that I'm pregnant by him and he's making me get a abortion. I just really need someone to talk to and give me suggestions as to what to do.
Thank you

amymine712 · Jul 18, 2014

Hon you shouldn't let him abuse you or force you to do something that most Christians find reprehensible and most women regret if they go through with it. He is only a boyfriend, so leave him. You can make it on your own. You have strength as yet untouched. You don't say if you're Christian. If you are, then you need to take this to the Lord. If you are not, you need to give yourself to Christ and take it to the Lord.

Ugly · Jul 18, 2014

You need to leave him and never look back.
I know it's easier said than done. I'm not sure what your financial situation is, nor your living situation or what kind of local support you have or who you can stay with. But you need to start taking steps to get out of there. I will leave the details to the women here who have experienced this already and can give more useful information on how to go about this, but i wanted to at least respond so you would know someone noticed your post and is here to help if you need it.

amymine712 · Jul 18, 2014

Here I found a link for Council on sexual assault and domestic violence. They help anyone in need in your situation. They give you a safe place to stay, counseling, clothing, doctor visits, food, jobs...etc.
SAFEFROMABUSE.COM

Hopefully they have a shelter near you. They will probably require you to call the cops and tell them what has been happening so you can get a restraining order against your bf. They will help you if you need it. I am praying for you.

blue_ladybug · Jul 18, 2014

PrincessTT said:

Princess, first of all, you are 21, an adult!! Second, only YOU can make the choice to get the abortion or not. That is between you and God. Your bf can get mad as heck if he wants, but its YOUR body and YOUR decision. Not his!! I agree with the other posters on this. You need to get yourself out of there, and someplace safe. Check out the site that amymine posted here for you. Call the police and file a restraining order. Stay at a friend or relative's house. If that's not an option, check into a motel out of town. Sign in under a different name. Good luck.

kennethcadwell · Jul 18, 2014

PrincessTT said:

You need to get out of that relationship. God would not want you to stay there, and would not want that child to suffer one way or the other from it. It is not the child's fault your boyfriend is abusive, but if you stay and get the abortion ( which is wrong/sin ) the child pays the price. If you stay and have the child the child will either be abused to, or suffer by watching you go through that abusiveness, again the child suffers.

If you get out, you not only protect yourself but also the child.

Roughsoul · Jul 19, 2014

Hey PrincessTT,

I am sorry to hear about your situation kick this boy to the curve I wont even call him a man. I don't know if you have told your family but if you think they will help you then tell them. They may be shocked at first but let it soak in then see if they reach out to you. DO NOT DO SOMETHING YOU WILL PROBABLY REGRET. Princess you have a life growing inside of you now that only God has created. I know the situation is bad and does not seem Godly but listen God uses situations like yours to bloom into a beautiful creation. That little child needs you trust me the love you will get from that miracle is far better than anything your going threw right now. Check to see where your local pregnancy resource center. Normally operated by volunteers. They will teach you how to take care of your baby and prepare you. Plus you can earn things like diapers or clothes from people that donate their baby stuff. The hospitals have classes and some are free. Get connected in a church and even better a churches woman's small group.

But yah back to the guy since he is abusive have another male figure with you when you tell him to get out your life and don't even go near him. Better yet get a cop to issue a restraining order. To me he seems high risk and does not care about you or the baby. And when he find out your leaving and he is losing his since of power over you he will react out. And I don't want you to be near him when this happens. He could hurt you and even try to cause a miscarriage.

Its just safer to get the police involved and then move on past that part of your life. I know its difficult for you right now but I have a 8 month old son and he is my whole world. I live for him and would die for him. Do not miss out that kind of love. If you need help getting over the whole situation with your BF find help so you can focus your mind on that baby. He or she does not need all the stress. Find mental help for all the pains and mental scars threw church, biblical counseling. or even on here can help.

God loves you so much and he has a plan for you. This will only make you stronger just hang in their, let the storm pass, it will run out of rain and the sun will shine. God is the light and will shine threw the dark. Just hold fast God always has a way for you.

I will keep you in my prayers!

Roughsoul.

PrincessTT · Jul 19, 2014

Thank you for all your suggestions!!

tourist · Jul 19, 2014

PrincessTT said:

Whatever you do you must not get an abortion as it is murder. Despite your circumstances God created this life in you. You have made a serious mistake in judgment in your choice of a mate so do not compound it by even considering terminating your pregnancy. If I were to say what I want to say about this 'boyfriend' of yours I would be banned from this site. My suggestion is to terminate your relationship with this boyfriend. Do this today and do not look back. Start living in a physical and spiritual healthy way. Please, you must pray about how you got to be in the situation that you are in and you must start living for the Lord and put Him first in your life. I have said a prayer for you.

JesusLives · Jul 19, 2014

I just wanted to say that maybe you are not ready to have a child and that is o.k. Go ahead and have the baby then put it up for adoption there are so many couples out there wanting to have a baby and can't. You don't have to raise this child if you don't feel like you are ready to.

I am sorry that you find yourself in this situation. But please don't fall into the trap so many women fall into thinking that they can't make it on their own, or that I LOVE HIM....Does he really love you with all the abuse? That is not true love. This relationship is not ideal and it is harming your self worth. God thinks you are worth more than living like you are right now so get yourself to a safe place. Turn to God if you have not already and give your heart and life to Him and He will see you through this and help you make the right choices. Praying you will find your way and make the right choices for you and the baby.

P.S. I had an abortion 30 years ago and I consider it the worst sin I ever committed, there is nothing I can do to change it and I have learned to accept the forgiveness that God has offered me, but if I could go back and change things I certainly would like to do that. I also was a single mother - it is a hard road but well worth the trip and my daughter now 34 is still the love of my life.

Angela53510 · Jul 19, 2014

Please leave this man. I promise you he will not change. He is attempting to control your life, including murdering your unborn child. That is the definition of abuse!

I went through this myself, decided to keep the child, and I have never regretted it. I don't think I could have lived with myself if I had aborted my son. I have a close friend who had the doctors force her to get an abortion, because there was a remote possibility of birth defects. She got post abortion syndrome and went insane after the birth of her daughters, because of the guilt and pain of the abortion.

Please read the book "A Cry for Justice" by Jess Crippen which details abuse and what you can do about it. This boy is not your friend, he is you abuser! Please get away from him one way or another, and do carry the baby to term. If you are not ready to care for a child, the adoptions lists for infertile couples are years long, and it know you can find a suitable couple to raise your baby.

Praying for you!

sd · Sep 5, 2014

leave him hunny....its goin to be hard!!!im not gunna lie!!very very hard put all ur faith and trust in God i know this is the last thing u wanna hear right now but put ur faith in God run from him!!!us women dont need that!!
look sweet heart mmmm please sister leave him!!it not gunna be good when the baby gets here hes not gunna doo good keep the baby if you cant raise him/her put him/her up for adoption but trust me thats gunna be HARD!!! but get away from him hunny i been in the same boat but hes givin u a choice im not gunna say hes gunna do it but if u dont leave him and dont do what he wants he might hit u in the stomach and try and kill the baby i been through that please dont put urslef through that its an awful feeling sis please get away

Inu · Sep 5, 2014

PrincessTT said:

Too many woman, too often allow themselves to be abused and treated less than what they are worth... I am terribly sorry that you are faced with this situation, I am sorry that you are hurting and that this boy has disrespected the young woman you are... You have not deserved this and you do not deserve to be subjected to such abuse and mistreat. Sometimes we convince ourselves that it is love and that he will change and we hold on to the hope of "one day"... but ask yourself these questions... what if one day it's too late? what if one day that physical abuse ends up in my death? what if he never changes? will I have to spend the rest of my life getting beaten? does God want me to be with a man that disrespects me, abuses me?

Let me answer the last question for you.... The answer is no... Jesus gave His life for you because He loves you above everything else, because he values you, because to Him you are worth more than any man or woman says you are... even worth more than you think you are... If God can lay down His life for you, why would you stay with a man who degrades you? A man who disrespects you, disrespects the creation of God and in turn disrespects God Himself.... You choose, stay with him or take a stand for yourself....

As for being pregnant, I am not sure if your baby was conceived during abuse or not... I am not sure how you feel about this... But I know one things for sure, your boyfriend is not worth being a father to your child unless He allows God to transform him and His ways(it's not up to you to fix your boyfriend or convince him otherwise). Do you see this man as a role model for your son or the man that will date your daughter? I don't.

Keep strong, pray, read the bible and remember that you are worth more than rubies.... you deserve the best...

jer2911 · Sep 5, 2014

God will get you through the pain.
Everyone experiences pain sometimes, emotional and physical. Next time it threatens to overwhelm you, take a deep breath. As you breathe slowly, picture God holding you, crying with you, giving you the strength to get through.

I have printed this picture for me to be reminded that no matter what... I have a loving father with open arms. A refuge in times of confusion and pain.

Please don't let the baby die. It's a sin to murder a baby or even a fetus inside your womb. Once , it was a mistake for you to allow abuse. Twice, you're choosing to do another mistake. Thrice, such a big mistake to think your existence and your baby's existence are of no value in God's eyes.

sd · Sep 16, 2014

how r things hunny have u left him i wish i could help u just come up there and get u out myself i hate seeing this

Ugly · Sep 16, 2014

The OP hasn't returned in 2 months. Since the day after her first post. Thread is 2 months old.

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