Can humility cause low self esteem?

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PyroMatt

Guest
#1
Can humility cause low self esteem and self confidence? I've lived my life under one specific bible verse "Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor." (Proverbs 20:12). For me pride is actually the characteristic that I have the least of. I'm also an unemployed 24 year old college student. That probably has something to do with it as well. Any advice?
 
Jun 19, 2013
47
1
8
#2
Hey there PyroMatt :) I believe that false humility can actually lead to pride or low self esteem, but true humility won't. Humility isn't being totally unaware of anything good about yourself, that's ignorance. Think of it this way, Jesus was perfect, the Son of God and He was humble. He knew the truth and acted according to that truth. If you want to truly understand humility then take some time and read through the Gospels and take a look at the perfect example of humility (not our worldly misunderstanding of it.) I hope this gives you some food for thought and I hope that you have a chance to enjoy some time in the Word reading and marveling over the amazingness of our Saviour :eek:

Juanita
 
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Animus

Guest
#3
Pride is essentially comparative, and therefore competitive. Pride is not happy that is has something, only that it has more of it than someone else. We sometimes say that people are proud of being rich, or good looking, but they are not; they are only proud of being richer, or better looking than others. It's the attitude of competition and comparison that is the problem. A man acting out of sexual instinct might bring himself into competition with another man over a woman, but this is only by chance; they might have wanted two separate woman. But a man acting out of pride will take your woman from you, not because he wants her, but because he wants to show that he is the better man.

But by the same attitude you can become quite depressed. Once one starts comparing oneself to others one can start to suffer from low self esteem. This too is a form of pride; it is the man that is unhappy because he has less of something than others. He is unhappy, not because he has no money, or has the appearance of a ghoul, but he doesn't have as much money as he thinks he deserves, as much as others might have, and he isn't as good looking as someone else, and feels that he is less because of it. While the first proud man suffered from an inflated ego, the second suffers from a deflated ego. This second proud man goes to a party and is upset because someone else is the big noise when he himself wanted to be the big noise.

A humble person does not compare themselves to others, and therefore does not compete with others. The humble pianist can enjoy someone else playing a song that he cannot; the humble dancer can enjoy watching a peer perform moves far beyond their ability; the humble gymnast can enjoy his silver medal, not because he has beaten the bronze, but because his routine was enjoyed. A humble person can enjoy life because he can enjoy the success and accomplishments of others. He can enjoy singers hitting high notes without feeling bad about his crummy vocal range, and he can be happy for his friend who earns six figures without feeling bad about being unemployed. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.
 
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MrsClementMelton1122

Guest
#4
Humility is the best way to be because its from within-out. Modesty is from without-in. Humility is simply knowing someone paved the way before you. Its being selfless and never allowing yourself to feel like you're better than the next person. Modesty causes low self esteem and takes much effort. The reason you feel inferior or have low self esteem with modesty is because its a image you're trying to uphold or portray. Modesty can wear you down to the point of not identifying who you are. When a person attempts to be modest its a sense of "look at me," look at what I have. Humility is something you feel within. You don't have to act a certain way on the outside to get approval. When you reach for something and its not received or expected it leads to rejection. Rejection leads to low self-esteem, or low confidence. Remember its about how you feel about yourself and the people who paved the way before you. If people would focus on paving the way for someone else we wouldn't have time for self hate.

I encourage you to look at Maya Angelou's old interviews. She exemplifies humility and explains the difference between the two.
 

Test_F_i_2_Luv

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2009
1,601
31
48
#5
Can humility cause low self esteem and self confidence? I've lived my life under one specific bible verse "Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor." (Proverbs 20:12). For me pride is actually the characteristic that I have the least of. I'm also an unemployed 24 year old college student. That probably has something to do with it as well. Any advice?
Not implying that it is your situation, but I think feeling sorry for oneself and excessive self-pity can lead to low self esteem.

Woah is me...I can't do anything right...nothing ever works for me...nobody likes me...I'm useless and worthless...

 
Jun 18, 2014
755
3
0
#7
Pride is essentially comparative, and therefore competitive. Pride is not happy that is has something, only that it has more of it than someone else. We sometimes say that people are proud of being rich, or good looking, but they are not; they are only proud of being richer, or better looking than others. It's the attitude of competition and comparison that is the problem. A man acting out of sexual instinct might bring himself into competition with another man over a woman, but this is only by chance; they might have wanted two separate woman. But a man acting out of pride will take your woman from you, not because he wants her, but because he wants to show that he is the better man.

But by the same attitude you can become quite depressed. Once one starts comparing oneself to others one can start to suffer from low self esteem. This too is a form of pride; it is the man that is unhappy because he has less of something than others. He is unhappy, not because he has no money, or has the appearance of a ghoul, but he doesn't have as much money as he thinks he deserves, as much as others might have, and he isn't as good looking as someone else, and feels that he is less because of it. While the first proud man suffered from an inflated ego, the second suffers from a deflated ego. This second proud man goes to a party and is upset because someone else is the big noise when he himself wanted to be the big noise.

A humble person does not compare themselves to others, and therefore does not compete with others. The humble pianist can enjoy someone else playing a song that he cannot; the humble dancer can enjoy watching a peer perform moves far beyond their ability; the humble gymnast can enjoy his silver medal, not because he has beaten the bronze, but because his routine was enjoyed. A humble person can enjoy life because he can enjoy the success and accomplishments of others. He can enjoy singers hitting high notes without feeling bad about his crummy vocal range, and he can be happy for his friend who earns six figures without feeling bad about being unemployed. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.
This is a nugget of genuine, hard-earned wisdom. Thanks for that. I think the trick to it lies in wanting others to have things, rather than wanting to have things that others have, in wanting people to be extraordinarily happy, rather than wanting people to be no more happy than we are, in seeing talents and traits in others and being thankful for them, rather than jealous of them.
 

Lyta137

Senior Member
Dec 7, 2013
193
0
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#8
its like this. humility (genuine) is the balance.....
below it.....low self esteem
above it.....ego (pride). GBU.
 
C

Chouchoute

Guest
#9
I totally agree with all that you say. This is what humility is...

....Reminds me think that I still need to work on my humility...